| 1. | An Apple a Day, You'll Die Anyway | 01:40 | Show lyrics |
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| 2. | Can I Be Aborted Even Though I'm 29? | 02:01 | Show lyrics |
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| 3. | Eating Holograms of Twinkies Will Still Make You Gain Weight, Sorry | 01:01 | Show lyrics |
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| 4. | I Saw Something That Reminded Me of You, Then I Flushed | 01:11 | Show lyrics |
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| 5. | Life Is like a Box of Chocolates, Mostly Disappointing | 00:56 | Show lyrics |
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| 6. | Slurp'n Up That Ice Cream Baby | 01:42 | Show lyrics |
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| 7. | Staring into the Jaws of Capitalism and Saying Yes Daddy Please | 01:05 | Show lyrics |
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| 8. | Weddings Are Funerals with Cake | 01:32 | Show lyrics |
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| 9. | Whine Moms | 01:02 | Show lyrics |
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| 10. | Cover Me with Spiders and Gasoline, I'm In! | 01:17 | Show lyrics |
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| 11. | You Must Be Depresion, Because You Make Me Want to Kill Myself | 01:29 | Show lyrics |
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| 12. | If the Spaghetti Monster Doesn't Exist, Why Do Planets Look like Meatballs? | 01:51 | Show lyrics |
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| 13. | King Douche on His Throne of Loneliness | 01:53 | Show lyrics |
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| 18:40 | |||
| Band members | |
| Chris Dearing | Everything |
| Miscellaneous staff | |
| Chris Dearing | Mastering, Mixing, Recording |
| Chris Dearing | Everything |
| Chris Dearing | Mastering, Mixing, Recording |
Identifiers:
Barcode: 7 55491 17521 7