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outlaw922's profile

Rank:
Metal newbie 
Points:
Email address:
moc/oohay//reittipyllek 
Full name:
Kelly Pittier 
Gender:
Male 
Age:
53  
Country:
United States 
Favourite metal genre(s):
Thrash, Traditional, Death 
Comments:
 

Growing up in the ‘70’s and ‘80’s, I lived a sheltered life. I wasn’t introduced to aggressive metal until I was at least 13. That’s when I started playing guitar, and developing my hobby of songwriting and recording.
-Early life: Come Together, Walk this Way, Zeppelin, anything V.H.
I still love classic rock, but I quickly developed an appetite for metal. Thrash, Black, Prog, etc.

Mid-teen crisis: enter Dio, Priest, Maiden, then, I was crushed by 2 major landmarks in my musical psyche:
*Ride the Lightning
*Don’t Break the Oath
Hmm…then the acid really kicked in, and it just got worse from there.
Slayer, Hell Awaits, Reign, Accept, Celtic Frost, King Diamond, Megadeth.
Big turning point, 1986: A couple of good bowls + Sony Walkman + Master of Puppets. I saw them with Ozzy that year and Cliff Burton right before he died. EPIC

27 years later. I’ve seen and heard so much. Moshed at Slayer, tubed everything in sight. Pored over 100’s of entries at M.A. What have I learned?
Here’s the elements of what I believe to be a legit album review.
P.S. I’m not a death metal snob. I take on all comers. I’m as comfortable with a power ballad as I am with Maniac Butcher.

High points/Turn on’s: RIFFS!!, great beats, soaring or growling vocals, sweeping, shredding solo’s, moshing, honesty, and obscurity.

Low points/Turn off’s: Selling out, jangly guitar, triggerbeats, rap, nonexistent solo’s, dishonesty, and commercialization.

REVIEW CRITERIA: (10 categories with up to 10 pts each)
Whether you are sliding that disk into the tray for the 1st time, or the 1000’th, there’s an allure…a mystery. Why are you doing this?
I’m not the expert, but here are my basic judging elements.

1: Honesty: There is nothing worse than a lazy effort. You can always tell immediately if this band put their full heart and metal soul into this production. Sure, some albums are 50/50.
1% = Lazy, cheap, commercial
10% = Full on Integrity

2: History/Nostalgia: Although totally subjective to opinion only, how important is the history of this release? Are they pioneers, and veterans? Or did they just hit the scene last week?
1% = Who cares?
10% = Major Impact/influential or essential

3: Overall impression(s): what do you take away from this release? How does it affect you in your life?
1% = Again, who cares?
10% = Blows me away every time

4: Musicality: By all means, the very most important criteria to judge any release by. That is why I have broken it into it’s own sub-section of 10 categories, awarded up to 10 pts each, then graded on an average.
- Song Structure/Writing/Arrangement: Whether you are listening to an incredibly intricate arrangement, or a blunt force trauma, how does it rank?
1% = Childish, dumb
10% = Brilliant
- Guitar: Of course we are talking about the main instrument in all of rock music. Riffs, Bridgework, solo’s, the works.
1% = Never learned how to play
10% = Virtuosity
- Vocals: You don’t have to have Halford’s chops to win points here. Just fit the music, and exude confidence.
1% = Terrible
10% = Outstanding
- Rhythm Section: The driving force of the song(s). Is it rumbling and timely? Or is it rambling and inconsequential?
1% = Weak
10% = Thunderous
- Drums/Percussion: The heart beat, the driving thunder. Doesn’t always have to be flashy, just in good timing.
1% = Beating on boxes in the distance
10% = Bring down the hammer
- Bass: Not always audible in the mix. Does it rank?
1% = Nonexistent
10% = Carrying the melodic rhythm
- Keys/Intros/x-tra effects: Is this something that adds atmosphere and drama to the music, or is all just a cheesy distraction?
1% = Do away with it
10% = Ultimate compliment
- Lyrical content: I’m not one to judge morality here. Are they worth reading, and learning? Are they just window dressing? Misogynistic, etc?
1% = Written by a pimply grade school kid
10% = Profound
- Song/Track List: Could be it’s own category. A great compilation could win 100% with the proper titles alone.
1% = Not cool
10% = Listenable over and over
- Production Values: Was this recorded in the right vein? It doesn’t have to be Painkiller.
1% = Can’t hear it
10% = Razor sharp

Overall Score = Average of total of the above.

9: Presentation: Cover art, liner notes, Live shows, image/makeup, etc. The fluff crap, but hey, it can really have a major impact on how you approach this release.
1% = No impact whatsoever
10% = Can only add to the Overall score

10: Recommendation:
1% = Avoid like the plague
10% = Essential

…Let us begin