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Whatever IT is... Blackie still has IT - 80%

UltraBoris, May 17th, 2004

Blackie's still got "IT". Abraham "and then they changed what 'it' was" Simpson, guess what, you've got a friend. While bands like Nevermore come along and shit on the metal scene from great heights, here's a band that still sounds completely like heavy FUCKING metal should sound, and manage to be creative about it. This album isn't quiiite as good as any of the first five WASP, but that pretty much just means that the first five WASP are ridiculously triumphant... here, they try to create another Crimson Idol, and for all intents and purposes succeed. It's just that the first Crimson Idol was so everlovingly brilliant that you'll never get another one of those, ever.

But hey, we've got this. And this will do just fine, thank you very much. WASP still fucking rules, after all these years... Blackie Lawless still screams it like he means it - technically less than perfect, but the ability to convey emotion is second to none (Opeth, stick THAT in your pipe), and of course you've got the classy songwriting and the triumphant riffs that only this band can do, and only this band has done, from the era of Fuck like a Beast, to more civilised stuff like Thunderhead... here, we've got stuff like Sister Sadie, which is pretty much THE second coming of Chainsaw Charlie, from the galloping riffs to the squealing solo (well, that's the second coming of Love Gun, but that's incidental!), to the singalong vocals - not QUITE as over-the-top as "murders, murders in the new morgue" (wait for "number niiiiiine!!" for that effect) but still, close enough. You'll have this one blasted to maximal killing capacity within a few minutes.

The rest of the album is no slouch either... the aforementioned Asylum #9, probably the highlight of the entire album, half Headless Children, half On Your Knees, and all BALLS. That's right, this is the 80s band that refuses to die... I'm sorry, but this album is such a complete stab into the eyeballs and vaginal surfaces of all the bands that think they've got "it", but have either sold "it" at a grunge-baked shot at a major record label after the first half of the Sanctuary LP, or just, despite MTV and other popular opinion, never had "it" to begin with. Sorry, but this band couldn't give half a horseflying gangfuck of monkeys whose brains Kurt Cobain is blowing out this week, and the assorted noises that come with it. All the bands in all the world should learn from this - how to sing about serious subject matter without coming across as a serious fucking pussy.

Oh well never mind THIS, you fucking cuntbag. Would you like fries with that?

YEAAAAHHH, I said number niiiiiiine!!! (The chorus comes back once more during The Running Man, softly behind the main vocals... number nine, number nine!)

At times, the album reaaally resembles Still not Black Enough - the title track, to be more exact... the Running Man has a similar chorus. But hey, they're good ideas, feel free to reuse them. It's not quite as overt as Still not Black Enough reusing half the riffs of the Crimson Idol...

Speaking of the Crimson Idol, the final song sounds like "The Idol" a bit, and check out the main guitar line of the first few seconds of "What I'll Never Find", which sounds just a little like "Hold on to my Heart" - but hey, that's not a bad thing at all, and in fact it's yet another killer ballad by Wacky Blackie, probably the only guy that could put two ballads in a row on an LP and come up with a masterpiece. Jeebus christ, that solo ruuuuuules. The endless solo to end all other endless solos. The other highlight of the album here - though really the whole thing has to be taken as a whole; this isn't meant to be sliced into little pieces and put on mix tapes or whatnot. You will go out and buy this entire CD, in entirety, and listen to it, in entirety... well, that's what I'll do anyway (I must confess I only have the mp3s as of now), and hey, if anyone at this date still thinks mp3 are a bad idea - how about that, Overkill and another sale, so we don't care what you say, fuck you!! Lars, you can go and ass-rape the dude in Machine Head or something. He'll like it.

Oh yeah, one more thing. XTC Riders... which Billy Idol song does this sound like, this has been bugging me for the last few days, and I can't figure it out. The vocal line of the verses... I think it's Billy Idol, anyway. In any case, again, check out that monster riffage, and the over-the-top vocals. The neon god is in your miiiiiindd!!! Remind me to figure out what the story line is, when I buy the album. If previous WASP albums are any indication, it'll be well explained.

So, should you get this one? ARE YOU MORBID? FUCK YES YOU ARE. And yes, you'll be getting this one. Unless you're a Dimmu Borgir fan or something, in which case, buy more lube. Another masterpiece from your friendly neighbourhood Sexual Perverts. Blackie Lawless fucking rules.