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SSSUUUCCCKKK!!! - 23%

UltraBoris, March 24th, 2003

Kids, forgive the really bad title of the review... you just had to see that one coming, right? While not as abysmally disgusting as some of their later albums, this is still pretty damn bad. This sounds like a silly punk rock album more than anything else, especially with that vocalist, who has not quite developed his "that dude in Oasis" brit-pop voice but still sounds pretty dang weak.

Also, the riffs are kinda mediocre too. They rely too much on attempted aggression and excess distortion to make up for the fact that there just is no real content to them. There is nothing that will crush your fucking skull and make you headbang. They're just kinda there, and the guitar tone is generally weak and forgettable. Even in the first track, Korgull the Exterminator, there is precisely one decent riff - that one takes place at around 1.51 into the song, just before the solo. Then it gets into some pretty mediocre speed metal because under the solo the riffage is entirely forgettable. What comes out afterwards is kinda fun for a few seconds until that dang singer comes along to fuck everything up.

This reminds me, more than anything, of a really bad version of Corrosion of Conformity's Technocracy, with the bad parts (weak vocals, occasionally uninspired riffage) amplified (really weak vocals, constantly bad riffage). The guitar tone, though - now that's something else. The lead guitar tone sounds like it was passed through a distortion unit of Martian manufacture, or perhaps one that fell off the The Fixx equipment bus. Then the rhythm guitar tone is just weak.

This just isn't thrash - this is really a bad punk album that sounds like a weaker version of Motorhead. At least Motorhead had some fucking balls and they were speed metal. These guys are just crap. I mean - "Fuck off and Die" - if that's not punk, you tell me what is. And it's BAD punk... I mean some punk is pretty good (see: The Exploited), but this is just terrible. The worst part is that the songs just pretty much keep the same pace from beginning to end. Agent Orange, this is not. Not vicious, or crippling - no massive thrash breaks to be found here.

Slaughter in a Grave sounds like another Motorhead reject, being played with "intensity" pegged on a whopping 4 and "passion" kinda wavering at the 2 region. (For comparison, Motorhead are at "11" all the goddamn fucking time in every quantifiable category. Even when they sleep.)

Ripping Headaches, this album is not. Grandma forgot her sleeping pills, give her this? Though it does have a momentary thrash break, at around 1.05 - for about 3 seconds - before going into more weak riffage. Horror is just about the same song again. That is the problem here, that the songs are just all the same, one after another. Who came up with this brilliantly creative onslaught of excellent riffage? All the riffs sound generally the same. Same note played a few times fast, then one note held for about 4 times as long and made to sound really weak due to the stupid guitar tone.

Thrashing Rage. This had better fucking thrash and/or rage, and unfortunately it does neither. I can barely discern a riff here - the bass is stronger than the guitar here, even though he's playing the same note over and over again. But hey, what's this at the very end? After playing the intro riff again (brilliant riff by the way, I think Pantera rejected it for being uncreative. Same note played 6 times.)... they go into a thrash break at around 4.05 that lasts for about ten seconds. Yep, that's the highlight of the album. Bet ya didn't catch it, did ya?

Helldriver... I've heard this before, I know this for a fact. Seriously, Motorhead's songs are more discernable than this, and that's saying a lot. I mean Motorhead has perfected the idea of releasing roughly the same album once every few years, and doing it with pride and distinction and a fucking middle finger the size of Tokyo against the non-believers. These guys couldn't find their middle fingers if you spotted them both the FUCK and the YOU. Build Your Weapons - same riffage again. This is entirely forgettable punk rock, just with solos.

To the Death! Whoa it starts off with a little intro part. That's ... umm... different. And hey, we got a different riff too, one that I can make out. Something that would manifest itself, much clearer, as Toxik's Count your Blessings, sometime in the far future. For now it's kinda there before it leads into the general section - this is an almost decent song because every once in a while the guitars come out clean, but for the most part, it's just buried in a pile of noise.

That's what this album is... regurgitated song parts, buried in noise sauce. It's pretty mediocre, and if you've heard every Motorhead album but want something that sounds like them, only without feeling and distinction, well, I mean you could always lock yourself in a fridge, but if you want something even worse, there's this album.