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Trivium. Trivia. Trivial. Ordinary. Little worth. - 1%

Guy123, October 22nd, 2006

Main Entry: triv·i·al
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin trivialis found everywhere, commonplace, from trivium
1 : COMMONPLACE, ORDINARY
2 a : of little worth or importance

In light of the above definition, Trivium is the perfect name for this band. Ordinary, bland, contrived, emotionless, insipid tripe of little importance that will be forgotten in a decade. "Oh but they can play their instruments well!" News flash: Every year music schools across the globe graduate thousands of guitarists whose chops would put this band - and 99% of metal bands - to shame. Most of them can't write anything very interesting though. Conclusion: skill is irrelevant to quality. If you defend a band by saying "well at least they can play," remind yourself it doesn't matter by telling yourself, "so can guitarist number 72 from Juilliard's class of '98." Get over it.

The vocals have been thoroughly bashed, and what the bashers say is true. Emotionless, flat, monotonous, unintelligible. Why even have them? The alternation between harsh and calm styles is here in all its cliched glory. Scream then whine. Scream then whine. Scream then whine.

The guitar riffs are just kind of there. They don't do anything interesting, they bring no momentum to the songs, they're forgettable. The solos are played skillfully, yes, but they are there just to be there. Zzzzzz...

The lyrics. Good god the lyrics. It's probably for the best that we can't understand them. Sure many metal bands have bad lyrics, for instance Rhapsody's are over the top with cheese, and many death metal bands have brutal lyrics that are stupid written on paper - but that's the point! For brutal music you have brutal lyrics. For over-the-top epics, you write a fantasy epic about slaying enemies with your steel. The lyrics here are taken seriously, which would be OK if they were halfway decent. But they're just insipid and pretentious. They aren't even delivered completely. Most of the keywords of each line are screamed out - I guess you're supposed to interpolate the rest. For example, from the song "Pull Harder On The Strings Of Your Martyr" we have the line:

Pull Harder on the String of your Martyr

How is this line "sung"? "PULL!!!! HARDER!!! STRING!!!! MARTYR!!!" Great, makes lots of sense.

Speaking of this song, it may actually be the best thing to come out of this album. It was the inspiration for the now-infamous "BOAT! RUDDER!" parody video. For this I give this album a point.

Many of the lyrics are laughably whiny:

"Everytime I'm left alone
My misery begins to drown me
Tied by a rope of anxiety
Thrown overboard"

As for pretentious, the writers clearly intended for the lyrics to elicit a "whoa, that's so deep" response. Sometimes we have badly used 50-cent words. Can anyone actually read these lines aloud without laughing? You can tell they're supposed to be oh-so-deep:

"I am but a farce a satire of stability"

"Disintegration constituents to decompose of the parts
A malformation utopia systematic unity can't be achieved"

Trivium. (Plural is trivia.) Something of little worth. One has to wonder if this band is a cruel joke. If you could call your band "stupid crap" and still build up a huge, oblivious fanbase, it would be pretty funny, no?