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Fecesus in Suctica - 11%

UltraBoris, August 13th, 2002

This album is really fucking mediocre. There are maybe two good songs on here, that have the typical Slayer catchiness, which are Bitter Peace and Scrum. Nonetheless, they would still be the crappiest song by far if featured on any of their 80s albums. At least they're a bit catchy and memorable.

There rest of this album sounds... shudder... MODERN!!! Also known as that fucking shit style that a variety of bands have, ranging from Nevermore to Slipknot, where they disregard the ideals of classical songwriting that were rightfully worshipped in the 80s in favour of a grating, noisy, completely anti-catchy, hideous sonic ear-rape. Abominations like "half-thrash" and "mallcore" all have this sort of diarrhea vibe to them, and even the mighty Slayer has descended to this level.

It's just total shit. Don't play riffs. Don't play fast. Take all reasonable standards of melody and poop on them. Be not menaching. WHINE. Lose track of what key the song is in, that is if you ever had any idea in the first place.

FUCK YOU, KORN. Fuck you and fuck the horse you rode in on, and fuck your countless feces imitators and fuck your downtuning and fuck your modern-ness, and FUCK YOU too, NIRVANA. Everything that is wrong with music. MODERN. I defecate on your goddamn grave.