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Experimentation is fine, being terrible is not - 5%

The_Scrab, May 19th, 2010

Ever wondered what Scorpions would sound like if they decided to 90's dance pop? What the hell is wrong with you? Why would anyone expect a band of aging yet still respectable Rock N' Rollers to reach out and try and something so foreign and alien, not only to their fan base, but to themselves? Such a thing must surely be impossible, right? Wrong.

I'll never know what prompted Scorpions to reach out and change their sound to such an extreme, though, looking at selected parts of their 90s input, I might hazard a guess; The band was lost, like so many others, in the tidal waves of the musical trends of the nineties, and forgot how to market their strengths effectively and channel solid songwriting. Many bands attempted to modernize during this period, but none of them tried such an abrupt style shift as the one exemplified in this song. At least it's not a sell out, because not only does it seem like the band is honestly trying to attempt to do something different regardless of money, but there doesn't seem to be any audience to sell this out to. The band were collectively going into their fifties at this point, and even the most brain dead, hat wearing, nineties hipster douchebag was going to buy anything from this bunch of rock dinosaurs.

The song itself is awful, featuring all manner of synthetic drums, whispered/talked/grunted sexual references, and clean, polished-to-oblivion guitar tracks. The band tries so hard to experiment on this track, incorporating many musical trends from the time, and comes out with a mishmash of bad 90s adult contemporary garbage, so insipid that it's better listened to as a parody of the era's soft rock than as a legitimate attempt at writing song. This is the main problem; there's nothing wrong with a band experimenting and diversifying their sound, but it's a lot harder to do correctly than most bands realize when they try it, and when they flounder and produce nothing close to the artistic vision that they set out to achieve, it get's recorded minus all enthusiasm and becomes, at best, a forgotten and buried relic deep within the band's back catalog.

While I can appreciate that being limited to a specific sound is frustrating for an established act, I cannot condone this song. If the band had really needed to get these songs out there in order to ease their creative consciences, they should have at least done it without sullying the good name of their main gig. However, regardless of the name printed on the label of this single, I must ultimately declare that, in my humble opinion, this song is shit on a stick.