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Scorpions Month III: Falling in love every day. - 83%

Empyreal, December 17th, 2009

This is one of those Scorpions albums that doesn't get talked about a lot. I know it doesn't have "Winds of Change," but that's no excuse. The songs on here are better constructed and arranged than on the band's breakout album Love at First Sting, so what's the deal? Somebody needs to own up to that. Animal Magnetism was the band's lucky number seventh studio album, and their second since professional guitar wizard Uli Roth left the fold. The band did lose a little bit of their special musical nuance when he left, but they didn't lose their affinity for writing great hooks and songs that could cheer up Eeyore the Donkey and Charlie Brown at the same time.

Scorpions had an incredible knack for pleasing the crowd, and although that would kind of harm them later on as the 80s rock sound became more streamlined, here it just means we get ear-candy vocal lines and a simplistic but superbly entertaining rhythm base. The band wrote songs for the mass-enjoyment of many, and they largely succeeded, with a huge dose of adrenaline-pumping, hyper-catchy rock tunes. There's just no way to go wrong with this; it's too damned entertaining. There is beauty in simplicity, and Scorpions know how to mine that well. The best thing about this album is just that it's so damned innocent and unassuming - it's got no axes to grind, nobody to point fingers at. It just wants to have a damn good time. Just listen to the ballad "Lady Starlight" - Klaus Meine's pleading cries do not have even one hint of malice or smugness behind them. It is an ode to the lost loves of every heartbroken young 70s guy looking for a place in life, a powerful cry out for the dying innocence of the American youth. There is an innocence here that rock music would lose within the next decade. And it just sounds good.

This album doesn't really have any immediate classics like "Blackout," "Catch Your Train" or "Rock You Like a Hurricane," but it also has no downsides, either - sometimes that's what you need; an album that has a strong, consistent run of good songs. Just pick any song on this thing, and you'll find an abundance of hooks. "Make It Real" is a good opener, and it's followed up with concise examples of hard rock wizardry with "Don't Make No Promises," "Twentieth Century Man" and "Only a Man" following suit without hesitation. These songs benefit from being short, as most of Scorpions' early classics did. There's no room for them to outstay their welcome and they become endlessly replayable. And I really like "Falling in Love" for its endearing childishness, and one of the best lyrical musings that came out of the 70s, right on the tail-end of the decade - "I'm falling in love/It happens to me every day!" is just too good of a line. How can you NOT like that? And furthermore, what would falling in love every day be like, anyway? Questions that only the Scorpions could provoke. Important questions for our generation.

The final two tracks kick things up a notch to where older Scorpions fans might be a bit more pleased. "The Zoo" is a prowling, sex-crazed romp through a city at night, featuring grooving bass lines and a mean, thumping riff. This song is probably the best one on the album, making the listener feel just like he's chasing down the sexy babe who just walked by - enticing! The title track is metal incarnate, with its heavy-as-a-brick riffing layered over with epic vocal lines that would be put to even better use on "China White" in a few years' time. This song is still pretty good, although a bit dull in comparison to the rather homogenous hard rock marathon running before it. Perhaps it would have fared better on an album of more adventurous songs, for here it just seems out of place.

The lyrics are oddly schizophrenic. One minute the band is talking about finding love, as in "Lady Starlight" and, uh, "Falling in Love," while the next, they're objectifying women in "The Zoo" and the title track. In "Only a Man" and "Don't Make No Promises," we see the band complaining about women! Are they ever happy? And don't give me any guff about how I shouldn't analyze these lyrics so much, either! I know you were about to! Being a fake doctor, I must conclude from Scorpions' confused lyrical themes that the band probably had problems with their mothers growing up. My recommendation, guys? A lot of jaegermeister and a nice pillow to lie on to forget your woes. This is also applicable to all of you reading this review, as next week we have to grin and bear the terror of Savage Amusement. Buck up.