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Pathetic - 18%

Caligo_Frontman, March 7th, 2013

I really don't understand what Lauri was thinking when he recorded this piece of crap. I'm a big fan of Satanic Warmaster and when I stumbled upon this demo I thought, "Wow! This must be something cool. Of course the production is worse than on any full-length, but still the music will kick ass!" Also, when I saw that the demo contains 9 tracks, I thought that there will be about 30-40 minutes of pure evil, headbanging, raw black metal. What a fool I was to think that way. I simply can't believe that a man that is behind such albums as "Strength & Honour" and "Carelian Satanist Madness" created something like "Bloody Ritual".

I bet that when Euronymous was writing on the "Pure Fucking Armageddon" inlay cover, "This demo features the worst possible sound quality", he couldn't even think that there could be worse. Talk about bad quality. The drums are barely audible (only the snare, I guess). The bass...what bass (only in the beginning of the "Bloody Ritual" track can you hear the bass clearly)? The guitar sounds fine in mid-paced tracks, but when the tempo gets higher, all of the so-called "music" turns into noise. It's too distorted and dirty for a fast tempo. About the vocals - firstly, they are too loud. Secondly, I don't know if Lauri is just pronouncing random sounds or if there are lyrics? The vocals sound awful and childish with a lot of echoes. I think Lauri tried to act like he's some kind of mean little gremlin or a leprechaun with a sore throat.

The demo begins with "...From The Coffin". It's quite an interesting one minute intro with some creepy moaning and a simple, but good piano composition, plus some ambient. Impressive, but nothing special. The second track, "Bloody Ritual", in my opinion is the only metal track that is worth listening. Even though I've said that this demo is horrible, I'm a bit sad that the main track is only less than 2 minutes long because it really sounds acceptable. It's mid-paced and has simple, catchy riffs with some audible drumming that fits them nicely.

Next stop is "Ancient Womb of Evil". A simple ambient track with a "demonic", very low and very slow voice pronouncing some illegible words. After this goes "Carpathian Demons". As I said, all high-paced tracks on this demo are just noise with Lauri's funny vocals. "Cryptic Terror" is very similar to "Ancient Womb of Evil"; nothing interesting here. "The Wrath of Sathanas" and the next track, "Racht Der Vampir", are just like "Carpathian Demons" - noise with vocals.

Now we proceed to the funniest track on the demo, "Book of Human Skin". Here we have 54 seconds of (as I think) some random guitar playing with the most funny and ridiculous black metal vocals I've ever heard. I really think this demo has no lyrics and Lauri was just "singing" some random shit, but what's interesting is this track has a solo, but made from random notes (of course).

The closing composition of this demo is "Vlad's Castle", another simple, but nicely made ambient track. If you close your eyes you may picture that you are in some kind of dark and slimy dungeon where slaves work for the rest of their lives splitting up rocks with pickaxes.

In conclusion, it would have been a lot better if Lauri had properly released the "Gas Chamber" demo instead of this piece of crap. Avoid this demo at all cost! Even if you're a collector, don't even think of wasting money on this. It just isn't worth it.