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The Road Leads to Ozzy - 95%

TheLegacyReviews, March 5th, 2013

Thank you, Rockstar Games. An odd way to start a review, but it is about time I throw a thanks out to them. When I got Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and listened to V-Rock, a whole new world opened up to me, besides the music my father introduced me to in the likes of older metal. Ozzy's Bark at the Moon was featured and it is one of my favourite songs by him up to this day, so I sat out to explore more of his music among the other bands from the V-Rock station, but after cruising on the internet I stumbled upon the song Hellraiser.

Though it was released in 1991, it has retained the sound of the '80s, which is a fortunate thing for the album. Had it been released in '93, I think it would have sounded a lot different. From the start of Mr. Tinkertrain till the end of Road to Nowhere or Party With the Animals, if you got the 2002 remastered version, this album is completed in a perfect way. It definitely is different to his more known works. With the works of Zakk Wylde, the sound has gotten a little more heavier. To be honest, I think Mr. Wylde is an overrated guitarist, but he certainly gets the job done on this album.

No More Tears is a mixed bag of goodies, and so has some of Ozzy's previous albums also been, and that is necessarily not a bad thing. There is a really good balance if you look at the way the album has been structured. Instead of going full throttle there is three slower songs on the album in the likes of Mama, I'm Coming Home, Time After Time and Road to Nowhere. In between these tracks you will find the ass kickers and when you reach a peak, some steam is let off in when you reach the slower songs only to be picked right up again with more kick ass songs! And that is what really is striking about this album. The balance. You reach a max, then picked down, and then kick started again. No doubt about it that it has been put together like that well knowing the effect it would have, instead of putting all three slower songs at the end of the album. I smash my palms together.

When it comes to the bonus tracks Don't Blame Me is absolutely amazing but Party With the Animals don't really add that much to the album. The first track Don't Blame Me would have fitted well into the track listing on the original release since it's one of my favourites of this record. Party With the Animals is however rather forgettable, there is a feel of old school rock 'n' roll over it but it doesn't really add anything to the spin. Don't Blame Me however would be nicely placed somewhere in the middle of the album since Road to Nowhere is an excellent song and the ending of the song serves this album amazingly good.

Cover wise I always thought this album looked weird. Ozzy with a blurry upper body and the strangest kind of little wing on the back. He might didn't want to change the world but he definitely changed is choice of covers. Though through time the cover has actually grown on me and it isn't as horrible as the cover for Down to Earth for example... Originally I only bought this record because Hellraiser was on it and I was new to Ozzy's music and just wanted something in my comfort zone. When it comes to the track recommendation just go through the whole album. It is hard to pick out single tracks as they each supply each other. On the bright side you're in for about an hours worth of more than solid heavy metal!

I would describe No More Tears as the last masterpiece released by Ozzy, by that I don't mean that his later albums aren't worth anything because there is some gems hidden here and there. But No More Tears definitely is his last work of art and could easily be his best album. Maybe that is too much? Not really. No doubt that some of my favourite songs are from the Blizzard of Ozz and Diary of a Madman albums but when it comes to consistency, this album just got something else. It is simply amazing, astonishing and a lot of other nice words. It definitely is up there with his earlier works and it depends on the musical mood you're in which album you choose from but don't give up on this fantastic album!

Time after time, the road leads to Ozzy!

Written for The Legacy Reviews

Best of 90s Ozzy - 90%

Yrael, April 15th, 2012

This was the first album I purchased with my own money. I bought the 2002 re-issue back when I was in my early teens. I had been preoccupied with nu-metal and hard rock groups quite whole heartedly until I got my hands on this album. I didn't realize what I was missing out on. I believe this is one of the finest examples of traditional heavy metal every created. Every facet of this album is pretty marvelous. Lyrically, musically, production wise- it's just an incredibly well crafted album. 90's Ozzy at his best. I don't think he's created anything of this caliber since, nor do I think he ever will reach this quality again.

No More Tears features some of the best song writing of his career. Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead wrote the lyrics for "I Don't Want to Change the World", "Desire", "Hellraiser" and "Mama, I'm Coming Home". In totality, all eleven tracks (or thirteen if you have the reissue) are in their own way great songs. There is so little filler on this album. Past the general all star quality song craftsmanship present, the instrumentation is beyond top notch. Ozzy has a good eye (and ear) for talent, and all members of his musical entourage are masters of their craft, not a shoddy performance had from anyone. Of course when you're at the level of playing for Ozzy Osbourne I suppose that shouldn't even be possible.

Zakk Wylde was given more hold in the crafting of this album than his on his first studio outing with Ozzy. He throws out some stunning riff work and breath taking solos. He has a distinctly different style than Jake E. Lee and the late Randy Rhoads. There is an almost omniscient feel to his work on the album, the guitar work is ever present and all consuming as far as the listerner is concerned. On past albums I always felt it was the whole band meshing together, with each instrument getting its own highlights throughout the album. I feel like this whole album highlights Zakk. Randy and Jake are titanic forces on their own, this can't be denied, and each were just as able if not more talented guitarists than Zakk, but this man knows the game and how to play it. His place in the mix seems so much more pronounced than in past Ozzy records. Perhaps it’s how instead of accents and fills there is tons of lead phrasing everywhere in every song, though it is never unwelcome. Every riff is captivating and after listening to any song on the record you're sure to have it stuck in your mind for an indefinite length of time. And the solos... it's so hard to find somebody who writes such varied and engrossing amounts of wankery. He's just so good. S.I.N. is my favorite Ozzy track, solely for Zakk's work in it. I listen to lots of virtuosos and instrumental guitar-centric music along with a fair amount of technically demanding music, but there is more to it than the speed with which Mr. Wylde rips through pentatonic after pentatonic, it's the overwhelming heart that he pours into his compositions that really strike me. I know a lot of people overuse the phrase in regards to guitarists with overbearing vibrato, but it's a different case with this guy.

The rhythm section is more than sufficient. I notice there isn't near the amount of fill present in the percussion, but the late Randy Castillo was so great a force with his use of dynamics and has some very catchy hooks he busts out. A good drummer can make or break an album, and without this guy behind the kit I'm not sure this review would be quite as glowing as it is. Then there is Bob Daisley with his bass... I'm pretty sure it's impossible any human has not heard those trademark notes in the title track. He's one of those bassists who for the majority of the album take their duty as part of the rhythm portion of the band very seriously, haunting the low end of the tracks and propelling the music forward with his bass. It's good stuff, I love it when I catch new bass lines I'd never noticed before peaking out of the mix into the forefront. There is a keyboard player, John Sinclair, but except for a few little ambient pieces his presence in all honesty can be overlooked.

Last but not least there is Ozzy. The guy just has such a perfect voice for this genre. It floats atop the music like a bird across a body of water, leaving the denizens below to ponder, "Just how in the HELL does he do that?!" He has the gift of gab, a universal (quasi-nasal) soaring tone to his voice that plays along to the dark, sinfully catchy melody in the utmost form of a good synergistic partnership. He's got a great voice and he knows how to deliver it, hitting some strong notes throughout. Nobody sounds like this guy (try as Zakk might in his own bands), and it's no wonder he's lasted four decades in such a competitive industry. He's not just an entertainer, he is a singer and songwriter, and what is the trademark of a skilled singer/songwriter? Good songs.

This should be in every metal fan's library. It's a staple of the sound, and so worth the cost (I bought it for ten or eleven bucks ten years ago, you can't beat owning your own artistic master piece for less than fifteen dollars, you just can't). If you run across it and haven't heard all the music before, I would highly recommend checking it out!

Zakk's best with Ozzy - 100%

Travistl, February 20th, 2012

Sound: Ozzy's 1991 release "No More Tears" was the second album featuring guitarist Zakk Wylde. Comparing to his first album with Ozzy 1988's "No Rest for the Wicked" this album is a lot heavier. "No More Tears" was supposed to Ozzy's last studio record and was calling it quits after the tour and release "Live and Loud" (We all know that didn't last long). "No More Tears" contained some of Ozzy's best songs as a solo artist and four songs co-written by Motorhead's Lemmy Kilmister. Some of the heaviest songs on this album are "Mr. Tinkertrain", "Desire", and "Hellrasier" Wylde plays with a sick tone on these as bassist Bob Daisley and late drummer Randy Castillo (R.I.P 1950-2002) fill in the rhythm parts very well and heavy. The Zakk Wylde style playing that we heard in later Ozzy albums and eventually in his current band Black Label Society started to show up, but not as much as on his later work. The album featured two ballads "Mama I'm Coming Home" (Co-wrote by Kilmister), and "Road to Nowhere". These songs with the music really help put the feel on the song and helped bring out the feeling of the lyrics and Ozzy's singing.

Lyrics and Singing: This is an Ozzy album so the lyrics and vocals are the same as the rest amazing. In my honest opinion whether with Sabbath or on his own this man cannot create a bad song. Just as usual his vocals flow over the music making the perfect connection. The lyrics on this album deal with your normal subject minus three songs. The 1st song out those three is "Mr. Tinkertrain". We all know Ozzy thinks up and does all of crazy thing but this one takes the crown as he sings about a pedophile trying to lure in kids. Now I don't how big of an Ozzy fan you are if you've either experience something of this nature or get bother easier by it I don't recommend you listen to this song. The 2nd of the three is "Mama I'm Coming Home". Yes, Ozzy has done a couple ballads before this album but one is a little different since it deals more with the family side of him that we didn't really see at this point in his career. The 3rd and final one is "Road to Nowhere". Now the reason why I'm saying this one is because just something about it seems, to myself at least, that it should've been on the "Bark at the Moon" album since sounds like the trapped place he felt like he was in after the passing of guitarist Randy Rhoads in 1982.

Impression: To me, this album is one of his and is up there with "Blizzard of Ozz", "Diary of a Madman", "Bark at the Moon" and the Sabbath albums "Black Sabbath" and "Paranoid". The free of this album with the power and energy Ozzy and the band had was incredible and I"m happy they got on record. I can't say what I love and hate about this album because there is so many things I love about it and nothing I hate about it. I will own this album till I die and will probably end up buying another 5 or 6 times because of wearing the CD out.

One of Ozzy's Titans - 96%

Genzel, October 14th, 2009

With the overbearing feeling of Ozz being thrown out completely by stalking losers, he softened his style to confirm the sixth studio outing of his solo career. With pressing the listeners with long hairy solos and new authentic lyrics, No More Tears is a really blessed effort. Osbournes 90's music is his best. After the album Ozzy went on a blessed tour for another multi smash hit album "live and loud". Ozzys musical style went from screaming wild rock towards bluesy and speed offering. Ozzy Osbourne put on a quite of an effort while short on ideas, he did music from within his authentic heart, spirit and mind.

The songs are classical Ozz tunes. They compete with Diary and Bark as with quality and style. S.I.N is another dark tune with shadows creeping over the listener. I Dont Want To Change The World and Desire are both mini stompers, with hard rock stretching harder than Ozzy ever in a gym. No More Tears and the slurpy ballad Time After Time have the aquistic intro that mimics the end side of Diary. The song structure is pretty simplistic and is spinning around the lyrics and solos. Ozzys music was now more of a pop hooks and shred based offering, and no longer there was so much hard rock style. Lyrics are indepth descriptions of life, feelings and saddness and grief. Zakk plays fast and wicked, Randys drums sound like nuclear bombs and Daisleys intelligent bass ground is as sensitive than in the Diary of A Madman days. There was no more Over The Mountain styled speedy drum fills, but some really fresh guitar snaps by Zakk.

As with tactics, the band offers an "ass on the wall" playing with Zakk pulling awesome guitar solos, licks, squeals and other miserable crap that he got through with it at that time. Daisleys soft and reborn bass touch alongside with Lemmys glamourish and legendary lyrical depth, the album sounds what heaven would sound if there was any music. A real "Hello" is a good word for this unappreciated metal diamond, because listeners seem to neglet the greatness of this album. With being commercially as succesfull as Blizzard, Ozz took to his solo shows a lots of tracks from this album. Its one of the rare remasters which got through with being not marshally devoured, but kept soft in the remaster process. Its one of the best albums in Ozzys later solo career, and stands on his own to the 80's material. Ozzy Osbourne made his best albums in the 90's and I think that this lineup was the classic Ozzy lineup.

Mixed Bag City. - 74%

hells_unicorn, February 4th, 2008

The general consensus is that this was Ozzy’s last serious effort, and although I concur with this, there are some misconceptions about this album that need to be addressed. The principle one being that this is where Ozzy’s 90s sound started to creep out, which I have not heard after listening to the entire album more than thirty times. Zakk Wylde’s guitar sound is no heavier than it was on No Rest for the Wicked, and except for the occasional use of a slide guitar sound, there really isn’t much difference in the overall sound of this release and the previous one. Another erroneous view of this album is that it is some sort of swansong for Ozzy after going through some rough times. Just one listen to the lyrics accompanying the mostly solid music tells you a different story, and sadly a very comical one at that.

The album’s opener “Mr. Tinkertrain” underscores an utter lack of lyrical seriousness which has not been present in anything Ozzy’s ever sung before. The riff work is solid and the chorus is catchy, but you just find yourself feeling stupid when singing along, even if alone in your car with the windows closed. “I Don’t Want to Change the World” is the same story, although here the riffs get redundant as well. The overrated, over-cheesed ballad “Mama I’m coming home” actually showcases the music being more comical than the lyrics with this goofy little acoustic guitar riff that sounds like it was lifted off of Def Leppard’s greatest hits. Good old Lemmy doesn’t even seem to be trying in the lyrical department on this one, or in the one before it.

Things start to look up with “Desire”, which has some solid heavy guitar work and one of Ozzy’s better vocal jobs on here, and finally Lemmy’s lyrics read with some sense, so I guess 3 times the charm. The title track is one of the best songs that Ozzy has put out, and probably the best he’s done with Zakk Wlyde manning the six-string. The rhythmic bass line and general groove atmosphere alone is charming, but Zakk’s raunchy and wicked guitar intercessions during the verses put it over the top. The middle section sounds like a nightmarish variation on the hallucinogenic Beatles anthem “Strawberry Fields Forever” meets the cartoon-like “I am the Walrus” with Zakk Wylde just itching to wail away in the following solo section. Definite kudos should be given to Ozzy and company for putting out a classic song that will likely never outlive its novelty and innovation.

After the title track, the album sort of goes back and forth between being spot on and simply going through the motions. The high points are the Motorhead cover and the somewhat lighthearted “Zombie Stomp”, the latter of which takes a while to get going but once it does, you find yourself unable to resist singing along and having a real good time doing it. The rest is passable but not really anything amazing, “S.I.N.” is probably the best, but listens mostly like a mellowed out version of “Crazy Train” or “Bark at the Moon”. Zakk Wylde does most of the work on these and Ozzy is just sort of there but not really noticeable.

If you liked “No Rest for the Wicked” then you’ll probably also like this, though it is not quite as strong. Probably one of the biggest mistakes that Ozzy made was essentially turning his back on Jake E. Lee as if he were some sort of disposable Rhandy Rhodes stand in, because he essentially turned his back on the best chapter of his 80s career. This is still essentially an 80s album, but you can hear the flash and flair that made “Ultimate Sin” such a classic gradually bleeding away, to the point that you can see the impending disaster that would take place in “Ozzmosis”.

Ozzy's last masterpiece... - 90%

Wacke, January 25th, 2008

After a real successful decade for Ozzy Osbourne as a solo artist he entered the 90's with "Just Say Ozzy" but it was with "No More Tears" he really showed how he had changed within the 90's. Except for the Randy Rhoads albums Ozzy have never really been sticking with the same style for more than 2 albums so it's the same with "No More Tears". It shows uss a darker & maybe a more epic sound than the previous releases & in this case it's still showed that Ozzy were on top in the early 90's.

The album starts off with the excellent "Mr. Tinkertrain", a song that starts off with a bunch of kids argue with each other to then break into a cool song. "I don't wanna change the world" is a fan favorite but I've never got the thing with it, sure it's good but far from being the best song Ozzy have done. The 3rd track is an awesome power-ballad called "Mama, I'm coming home". It's a really powerful song & defenitely on of Ozzy's better & overall few good ballads. "Desire" is the first really kick ass song on this album & the best so far, co-written with Motörhead's Lemmy. The 5th track is the title track, a great epic & heavy tune with one of Zakk Wylde's best guitar solos ever. The rest of the album is pretty much good average songs except for another Lemmy co-written song called "Hellraiser". It's my favorite track from this album, my all time Ozzy favorite along with "Bark At The Moon" & a couple of Randy Rhoads songs & the song that's responsible for my love to Metal music. It was that song, that turned me into this kind of music & man I'm glad for that!

The production is awesome, it fit the music very good & I think that's one of the main things that make this album so good. Everything sounds just awesome, the vocals, guitars, you name it. Since I'm a drummer I'm a big fan of Randy Castillo who's the drummer on this album & his drumming sounds fantastic, especially with this albums drum sounds. 2 other great things with this album is the excellent singing from Ozzy & the ultimate screaming & heavy guitar sound of Zakk Wylde's.

As you probably already understand after reading this so far, I think the cast is doing a fine job on this album. This might be the top point of Zakk's career aswell as one of the best times for Ozzy. They're magnificent all the way through everyone of them.

After this album Ozzy's music have never been this good, I didn't like much at all from "Ozzmosis", I just liked some parts from "Down To Earth" & "Black Rain" was really good but not a masterpiece. Ozzy's music will probably never as it once were but at least we got those good album he've made back in the day for the rest of our lives. Let's just hope that he'll be as good as he were on this album once again...

Will this forever remain his last decent album? - 70%

morbert, November 15th, 2007

Will this forever remain his last good album? 70

The second album with Wylde on guitars rveals some slight changes in the Ozzy sound. The production is heavier than before though less dirty and sleazy, there are more ballads and the overall sound has become nineties proof.

Even though I never liked eighties bands going ‘nineties proof’ and thought there was nothing wrong with Ozzy’s eighties sounds, I liked ‘No More Tears’. You cannot go wrong with the powerful opener ‘Mr. Tinkertrain’ which could have come straight from ‘No Rest For The Wicked’ is terms of riffs, energy and even an eighties raise-your-fists and-sing-a-long chorus.

Judging by the title you’d have thought ‘I Don't Want To Change the World’ would be a ballad. Fortunately it is not. It’s a plain rock song that sounds rather harmless right after Mr Tinkertrain. Second highlight on the album is the epic title track. The good production really pays off here and I’ve always liked the prominent bass guitar on this song. It is the best song on the album and a classic in Ozzys entire discography.

Other rocking highlights include ‘Hellraiser’ (which gives me an ‘Ultimate Sin’ feeling at times), ‘Zombie Stomp’ and the verses of ‘A.V.H.’ (the chorus is rather poor). The ballads on this album aren’t all bad but there are already too much of them. ‘Mama, I'm Coming Home’ is pretty enjoyable once in a while but it has been played too many times on the radio.

As whole I always found ‘No More Tears’ to be the least interesting album compared to anything preceding it but still good. Afterwards, looking back 15 years, I unfortunately consider it to be the last good Ozzy album and I’m still hoping he’ll someday release an album equally good to this one at least.

No More Substance - 62%

DawnoftheShred, January 26th, 2007

When I was young, I was taught to worship Ozzy Osbourne, for he was great, as were his songs. No More Tears was his most epic album, transcending the limits of popular songwriting in heavy metal music and kicking uncharted amounts of ass along the way. This is the way that it was, is, and always shall be. As I've grown older, I've found these precepts to be exaggerations of their former selves. No More Tears has lots of ideas that never reached fruition, hindering it from the iconic status it was once honored with, and suffers from a classic case of quantity over quality.

I'll lay out the gist of its problem right here: no substance. The songs on this album are presented, linger around for a while, and then resolve themselves without ever giving you a reason to acknowledge that they just played. There's no impact; no attachment to the music. Almost like an entire album of filler. Even when the songs try to be meaningful or emotive, they just sound bland and uninspired. "But Zakk Wylde is the most shredworthy of shredders and can do no wrong lol." Sure, the man writes a mean solo, on every song on here no less. But can he try writing a memorable song? The riffing is fourth-rate Jake E. Lee, with some mandatory Rhoads worship and a hint of modern wankery. Ozzy's voice still sounds good (and the lyrics are still unconsequential, even the ones penned by Lemmy) but he's not going to be confused with a great singer. Drums sound like they always have, standard issue. The bass is actually pretty good at parts, but the tone is mediocre. But the instrumental performances aren't the problem here, it's the songs themselves.

First of all, there's too many ballads. "Mama, I'm Coming Home," "Time After Time," and "Road to Nowhere" all are catchy enough, but lack the depth of his earlier material and muck up the pace of the album. "Zombie Stomp" has an intro so long that it ruins all incentive to enjoy it. There's also too many uses of stupid effects on the guitars and vocals and weird samples, like the pseudo-creepy intro to "Mr. Tinkertrain." Highlights on this album? The title track, as it still rules to this day. Think "Shot in the Dark" made more epic. Lots of soaring guitarwork, killer atmosphere, and perfect keyboard highlights. Other than that it's slim pickings, with maybe "Hellraiser" and the aforementioned "Road to Nowhere" pulling their weight on the album.

I guess time has not been kind on this album. It's old charm has faded for me and I'm left wondering what happened to it. No More Tears has its moments of course, but it's a fairly uninspired release from one of heavy metal's forefathers and a far cry from the glory of the Rhoads years.

A fun little rocker. - 68%

Nightcrawler, August 17th, 2003

No More Tears
On its own, No More Tears is a pretty nice rocking album guaranteeing a really good time upon listening. But as the follow-up to the asskicking No Rest For The Wicked, this is incredibly disappointing.

The album is much simpler than its predecessor, pretty much going back to basics with simple song structures, memorable guitar lines and catchy choruses. Simple, but at times really effective, when you just want to have a bit of fun. But upon closer listening, it feels pretty shallow and doesn't have much replay value. The riffing madness that Zakk Wylde burst out has been very limited now, as the focus is once again on Ozzy's below average vocals. Fortunately, he still sounds fairly decent, although nowhere near his performance on NRFTW.
But Zakk does get to show his talent at certain times. Those times being during the solos- cause his soloing is no less than amazing, reaching the same quality as the No Rest stuff, screaming heavy metal like nothing else. The solos are easily the best moments in every single song, in fact.
Some obvious influences from southern rock are obvious at some moments in the guitarplaying, namely during the solo of I Don't Want To Change The World and the acoustic intro to A.V.H.
This works surprisingly good, and gives the listener something refreshing and new.

But like I said, the songwriting is pretty shallow, and the album easily gets old. Many of the songs have some really nice and fairly heavy verses that sound really good, but then either goes into some boring bridge (Desire and opening track Mr.Tinkertrain comes to mind) or into a really pathetic melodic piece that totally ruins the mood (S.I.N.). Eventually, very few songs stay solid all through, which is the album's main weakness.
The exception to the rule is the title track. It's a really nice midpaced groove-ish tune with very cool bass-driven verses, a very nice sense of groove to the riffwork and of course the excellent, atmospheric solo with the overt but nice usage of keyboards.
Other decent songs are Mr.Tinkertrain (it has more good moments than bad...), I Don't Want To Change The World (although that melodic and overemotional bridge after the solo not only sucks, but it's also completely out of place) and Hellraiser (again some very cool bass-driven verses).
The album also features an entirety of 3 ballads. The radio hit Mama I'm Coming Home, the less known Time After Time, and the closer Road To Nowhere. They're all pretty decent for Ozzy ballads, but in general they somehow manage to be overemotional yet feel like there's no emotion put into them. They're not horrible, but... well, Ozzy was never a ballad-writer.

In the end, No More Tears is pretty fun, but doesn't really work on many levels. Although, if you find it cheap, it's probably worth it - if only for the title track and the solos.

He's naked on the cover, that can't be good - 39%

UltraBoris, August 26th, 2002

Why no, you are right, it does make for a completely sucky album! Look, I'm sober!!! Well ya know what, that's really fucking special of you, but if you could finally put out an album that wasn't complete goat crap, I may bother to care!!!

So there are a few good songs on here. "Mister Tinkertrain" is okay, though I have no idea who Mister Tinkertrain is, and why he got such a dorky name. "Hi kids! I'm Mister Tinkertrain, and I like inserting my penis into lawn care equipment, because I'm sexually perplexed!" But anyway - dumb chorus aside, the song has some cool riffs.

Okay yeah the rule for Ozzy albums is, if you ever find a good idea, be sure to immediately discard it, as to make the song not be any good at all, because if you put two good songs in a row on an Ozzy album, then the earth will implode upon itself and we'd all be forced to move to Pluto, and you'd have to share a spaceship with the re-animated corpse of Hitler. It would be that bad. In fact, if the second song, "I Don't Want to Change the World", is merely "horrifyingly bad", make sure the song after that is so abysmally, decrepitly nauseating that it makes bizarre sexual acts between you and a hippopotamus seem like a perfectly good way to pass the time. Ozzy just can't fucking write ballads. And ya know what, neither can Lemmy. That's because Lemmy is in Motorhead, he has no business writing sappy love songs, he's supposed to be tearing up up and bashing people's heads in.

Note: for the sake of our beloved God, please keep him out of the same room as Feces Fecebourne. From now on, that's what I declare. Because "Mama I'm Coming Home" makes getting shat on by an elephant seem pleasant. "Desire" is better, only because it cannot possibly get worse. Then we have the title track, which is pretty damn cool. It's eerie and the vocals don't ruin it too much, and then the solo just owns. Too bad that they made a radio edit of the song, which just has the cheesier parts of the song.

"Sin" sucks. "Hellraiser" is pretty decent, but the Motorhead version is so much cooler, because the Motorhead version is darker and more fucking fucked up, while Ozzy just kinda goes through the motions. "Hellraiser, I'm not one anymore. Hellraiser, I'm retiring at the end of this tour." If ONLY he had kept his word. And especially if ONLY by retiring he meant killing himself so we wouldn't have to put up with him and his cashcow reunions and his dumb TV shows and whatever. Dude, your fifteen minutes of fame are up. About 74 times in a row now. Die, already!

Then another ballad. You know what, I'll be nice and diplomatic and not make fun of this song. Wait, I'm kidding, it's the sonic equivalent of a battery-acid enema. "Zombie Stomp" is not bad, but the lyrics don't make any fucking sense. Zombies don't stomp, they eat the living. Kinda catchy chorus, but still. Then "AVH", whatever it stands for, is not bad, but of course, the last song is a mega-shit ballad, again. Yes, that's the equivalent of a million turds, it's that bad.

So what we have here is Ozzy cleaning up his act and turning into a total fucking poseur. I mean if he wasn't one already, he's in fact not even a poseur anymore, he's a loser that merely wants to be a poseur. The aggression of the songs is completely missing - most of this album can barely be called metal. Plus, if it turns out he wasn't wearing any pants during the album cover photo shoot, I wouldn't be surprised.