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Ministry came a long way in twenty-eight years. The fact that they were originally a new wave synthpop band isn’t exactly a secret, and neither is the fact that Al considers this, in his own words, to be “an abortion” of an album. As a result of his hatred for it, though, it’s never been (officially) released on CD, and vinyl copies can be a bit tricky to track down. It’s a shame, though, because it’s really not that bad of an album. Most of Al’s acid for the debut comes from those pesky Arista managers and their meddling, it seems. Their most obvious influence is the decision to make Al adopt a “British” accent, since new wave groups from the UK were what was popular at the time. If you ever want to hear a Chicago native attempt a British accent, this is the album for you, though I want to emphasize the word attempt.
If it weren’t for that one really stupid decision on the label’s part, maybe we’d see a reissue of this album. The other influences, in terms of the songwriting, appear to be relatively minor. Al hasn’t shied away from his new wave influences, even in recent interviews. Just from the music, I can hear strong influences from New Order, Soft Cell, and just a touch of The Cure. Yeah, there’s no metal here. Grow up, get over it. Not everything has to be METAL TO THE BONE to be good. This is actually fairly complex music, often with two synth riffs playing at the same time while the vocals take a melody unlike either of them. It’s very clear that Al knows what he’s doing with the songwriting. Now, you might notice there was another guy in the band at this time. I don’t even remember his name right now, and I don’t care to look it up, primarily for the fact that he does little more than play drums. No writing credits, maybe he does backup vocals on some songs, but he’s definitely not in any kind of power here. This is entirely Al’s work.
So overall, we’ve got some quality new wave synthpop here. There’s really no reason this album shouldn’t be as well-regarded as many of New Order’s albums, so I can only chalk up the lack of popularity to the availability of the albums. However, it’s only solid, not great. It lacks the quality of songwriting of Depeche Mode’s 80s releases, and just doesn’t have the sheer charisma of Soft Cell’s Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret album. (As an aside, if you only know Soft Cell for Tainted Love, do yourself a favor and look up songs like Sex Dwarf, Entertain Me, Chip On My Shoulder, or Frustration.) Ministry’s work has a few moments of awesomeness, but also a number of songs that either drag out too long or just aren’t that exciting to begin with, which hurts the flow of the album.
The A side of the album is definitely the winner here. Effigy (I’m not an…) starts off surprisingly low-key, but it’s grown on me with a couple listens. There’s that bass synth riff that permeates the entire song and probably makes it feel a bit more mundane than it is, but if you focus your attention on the other layers that fade in and out, there’s quite a bit of music there. Now, if you ask me, the second song Revenge should have been the opener. Hell, I’m surprised that Al never reworked the song to better fit Ministry’s later direction! This song is probably the high point of the album, but it is quite the high indeed. Revenge pretty much beats New Order at their own game, and then gives them a swirly in the dirtiest public restroom toilet Ministry can find. It’s a mid-paced burner, but if it weren’t for that damn fake accent, Al could put some real venom in his voice. I Wanted To Tell Her is that pseudo-funk piece every new wave band seemed obligated to write, and while it’s not bad, it’s completely passable, and a little overlong. Quite disappointing coming off of Revenge. The guest vocals are a nice touch, at least. Work For Love was the lead single for the album, and an enjoyable, if vacuous little dance number.
After the A side, I have to stop to wonder why they left off one of the most awesome songs Ministry wrote during this period, (Every Day is) Halloween. The 12” version of the single came out only after the album, but I know a shorter version existed beforehand. The synthy nature would fit right in with the rest of the album’s aesthetic. Likewise, Cold Life had been released as a single (or B-side to one) a couple times now, and somehow did not appear on the album. Fuck, it’s even got enough of a funky bassline to fit in the place of I Wanted To Tell Her. That would’ve boosted the album a couple more points. The omission of these two songs is particularly glaring since they would never wind up on an album afterwards, even as remixes (as All Day would show up on Twitch).
The B side of the album is also a step down, which definitely does not help things. Here We Go starts off promising enough, being the fastest and most driving song on the album. Once again, it would have made a stronger opening than Effigy, especially with Al’s decree of “This one’s for the trendy set, this one’s for the fads! This one’s for the people, baby, who tried to ruin my plans!” It’s quite fitting, given the circumstances of this album’s release. Again, another song that somehow never showed up in Ministry’s later sets that would have been awesome reworked. Say You’re Sorry and Should Have Known Better are completely forgettable throw-aways that, once more, COULD have been used for the better singles. But again, they’re not all that bad on their own. She’s Got A Cause is probably the most blatantly commercial piece on here, which makes its placement entirely baffling. Perhaps it’s the result of Al and Arista fighting over the piece and the resulting compromise, but it’s a strange decision either way.
And that leaves What He Say. This song always makes me laugh, no joke. It’s completely absurd, and I have no idea whether it’s great or complete shit. It’s got some ridiculous racial tokenism and exploitation with obnoxious trumpet blasts and a bass guitar that occasionally decides to pop up like the shark from Jaws and rape you in the face… but it’s catchy and fun as all hell. And it’s hard to deny the perfection of that dance break around 1:50 in. Oh, and in case anyone reading gives a damn, this song was renamed to “Do the Etawa” for the European release with the scrambled track list. I’m not sure why it was renamed, but the name references the first word in that sample of the guy from Swaziland.
For an “abortion” of an album, I’d actually say this turned out fairly well. Yes, the “British” accent is a bit ridiculous and unnecessary, and yeah, there are a few singles that could have improved things were they included, but I’ve had the displeasure of listening to much worse music in this vein. It’s basically Quasimodo, the titular Hunchback of Notre Dame. It’s definitely not bad, but rejected by its parent for being incredibly ugly. I can’t deny that Al has a reason to hate everything about this label-mutilated debut, but it’d still be nice to see it get a bit more love.