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I'm still not sure where I stand with Lulu in it's entirety- anywhere from 50-70%'s likely. However, I rather enjoyed this song and the need to be an apologist is just too great to deny, so the lead single from the album will suffice while I gather up my 3 or so brain cells and try to come up with a coherent defence of the full length. The album as a whole is one thing- hard to listen to, repetitive, a long album which perhaps asks too much without offering enough in return- but I felt the reaction to this track at least was pretty much really hard to understand.
With the exception of Junior Dad and Iced Honey, this is probably the track where everything fits best on Lulu; where Reed's senile old man ramblings fit the music best, where the simple, repetitive compositions work right, where the result is at once something dark, arty, and enjoyable. The main theme of the tune is, put simply, very good- a big, simple Sabbath riff- nothing you haven't heard before, but very effective and a riff worth repeating- while Lars smashes out a retardedly simple but very primal, really fitting drum beat. The way that the three riffs (count em!) flow together is again, simple, but effective and seamless. Musically, simple, sensible, solid. It's not an all time tune but it's still very good.
Vocally, though? Well, I think this a song where Reed actually compliments the tune. Keeps in rhythm, for one thing, utilises melody, gets a bit angry, keeps the ranting down- and contrasts well with the most aggressive Hetfield vocal since '88 or so. Yes, Hetfield does go "I am the table" a few times; it's pretty funny if you're still elementary school but a quick glance at the lyrics suggests that it makes sense within a very solid bunch off lyrics.
So all up? It's a weird track with some interesting vocal play, it's not a super long track, it's got a nice few riffs and is all round a pretty satisfying listen. Not much more to say, really. Give it a listen before you judge it eh.