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All hail the new Zombified KISS! - 85%

malibuman, July 19th, 2006

Now surely you all know who Lordi are - this is the band that won the 2006 Eurovision Song Contest with the song ‘Hard Rock Hallelujah’ (track 7 on this here CD), and if you don’t - well where the hell have you been. As you can see from the picture on the band page this lot are a bit unusual looking, but what we have here is basically a Zombie-Kiss for the new Millennium. (Strangely appropriate seeing as the members of this band have some connection with the Finnish Kiss Army).

Anyway, what you get here is basically 80’s style Hard Rock/Metal at times reminiscent of the first Bon Jovi album….so quite what they are doing on this site is anyone’s guess but hey-ho. Previous to this I’d only heard the ‘Monster Show’ album, which it seems was some kind of compilation (indeed this band seem to have the most confusing discography ever - how many albums of the same songs have they actually released???) which could explain it’s tremendous strength in depth, something which on first listen The Arockalypse can’t quite seem to match.

Give it a few spins though and these songs will sink into your brain and you will be hooked for sure. Well, maybe not all of them but some of them….

First though you have to navigate the intro, which at 3:46 you’ll probably skip after the first couple of plays. It’s vaguely amusing I guess, bringing to mind those 80’s videos where there was a story going on way before the song ever started….but then you’re into ‘Bringing Back the Balls to Rock’, which as it’s title suggests, isn’t exactly highbrow introspection.

Indeed, looking for anything highbrow on Lordi albums is a bit like looking for your favourite Swiss Truffles in your local 7-11. Not gonna find them! No way. But the point is, Lordi’s not here to challenge you or to stimulate your mind - they are here to E-N-T-E-R-T-A-I-N, if you can remember what that’s like?

Yes KISS is an easy comparison, but a better one is Alice Cooper….not only is the horror aspect a common denominator but the music definitely sounds more like late 80’s / early 90’s Alice Cooper than it does Kiss.

The other thing that Lordi have in abundance is dodgy lyrics. Okay maybe they aren’t writing in their native tongue, but even so…..

“No don’t thank heaven for little girls
When their eyes turn white as pearls
You wanna put it inside
You’re gonna lose it, she bites
Then she’ll suck you dry”

Or this genius chorus:

“Who’s your daddy, say who’s your daddy
Who puts you in your place?
Who’s your daddy , bitch who’s your daddy
Surrender and obey, who’s your daddy
Oh yeah!”

Quite.

Well anyway, this is no ‘Reign in Blood‘, it’s not even a ‘Destroyer’, but what it is a good slab of fun Hard Rock that while ultimately forgettable is riddled with enough hooks to have you singing along in your car like a stooped teenager.

Oh and I nearly forgot to mention that Udo Dirkschnieder lends his unique vocals to the excellent ‘They Only Come Out at Night’…