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How to begin with this review? After reading this, i'm sure a lot of you are probably gonna think i'm the 'METAL ONLY' type of guy with no 'diverse' and 'open-minded' tastes in music as some would say, but don't get me wrong, I am a big lover of post/indie rock, noise rock, avant-garde and all other weirdies in between. 'Dowsing Anemone with Copper Tongue' is the second full-length from 'Avant' metal band Kayo Dot, and having 3 full-lengths under the name MOTW. Just before listening to this album, my bullshit radar immediately flashed. Huge line-up and very fucking arrogant titles (Amaranth the Peddler. seriously, what the fuck? I don't care how many drugs, or how 'arty' you think you are, that's a fucking GAY title). Well, after all that bullshit, I decided to spin the album and try to leave these (un)comforting prejudices aside. 'Gemini Becoming the Tripod' kicks things off, and for some reason it's EXACTLY how I thought it would sound - long, boring, uninspired, trying to create an interesting atmosphere but failing at it on almost every level. There's a riff near the end, but that's not enough to cover the 8 minutes of your life that you'll never get back. The loud and obnoxious instrumentation creates a post-rock atmosphere, plus arrogance, more random bullshit and whatnot. Instead of creating repetitive trance-inducing atmosphere (like certain black metal bands), or calming, soothing drones (like some drone bands), the stuff here is 80% filler, 15% avant-riff bullshit and 5% of good stuff.
Seriously, what the fuck? The second song, 'Immortelle And Paper Caravelle' (I know, it's hard not to laugh at the titles). I waited forever for it to start. Thing is it doesn't start. You can skip to almost anywhere in this song and what you'll hear is near-silence. It's nearly 10 minutes long too. Yes, I know, as 'open-minded' asshats would say, this is 'grower' music, but trust me, I can tell the difference between bullshit 'avant' music and actually grower music, stuff that has a certain level of complexity. 'Aura On An Asylum Wall' is the strongest song here (or should I say, the song that doesn't suck as much as the rest), despite having some random-as-all-fuck lyrics and a considerable amount of filler. 'On Limpid Form', the longest track (and supposedly the 'highlight), drags on for 18 fucking minutes. Eighteen. There's a few good moments (I'd say maybe a minute and a half of that), but it's usually just trying to be noise. Yeah, I said it. They try to be that noisy post-rock band that tries to be 'noise'. This isn't actual noise. Noise is stuff like Merzbow, Borbetomagus, Government Alpha etc. Not randomly plucking your instrument with that asian art chick that listens to indie rock and wears purple highliner and dies her hair pink (which, if you haven't realized it yet, is what Kayo Dot is all about).
So, verdict? No matter how 'avant', 'indie', 'arty', 'original' or 'open-minded' you try to be, there's no enjoying of this album. I'd like to thank Opeth and misunderstanding of the 'avant-garde' term for breeding this monster that creates scenester kids. You know, that kid who walks around campus with a Pelican or Opeth shirt, arrogant look, and who's probably gonna end up writing a book about music and spirituality and...ok, i'll stop that for now. This is arrogant, over-the-top, 'noisy, and last but definitely not least boring music. Don't get it. Download it if you want, but whipe the dust off you delete button before you do.