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This is death metal for hipsters - 1%

MrVJ, September 13th, 2007

Job For A Cowboy has built a reputation based solely on their MySpace profile and almost effectively creating the deathcore genre, and I hate them for it. For those that are unfamiliar with deathcore, it's basically a genre that takes half-assed death metal, half-assed hardcore, and a pinch of zero-assed metalcore and makes its own blended mess of bastardized death metal. Yes, I'm a purist in its finest form, but there's a good reason for it, I assure you. With the massive success Job For A Cowboy's debut “Doom” EP came lots of rewards for these idiots, which would have been much better suited for bands that actually know how to make interesting music. For some odd reason, we have entered an alternate universe where bad musicians get good rewards, thus getting a Metal Blade contract, while good musicians continue to struggle out of the mud of the underground to barely make ends meet.

I find it hilarious that this band basically invented the deathcore genre, but because even THEY know how bad it is they decided to nearly abandon that sound all-together; the sound that originally got them that Metal Blade contract. The way I like to describe this genre to people who haven't heard it is “it's what the boy bands of metal play”. Yeah, that's right, I called Job For A Cowboy a boy band, because they fundamentally are. They take the really good portions of death metal, watered them the fuck down and distribute the final efforts to the lowest common denominator, nearly entirely dumbing down the original intent of the music. Sound like a boy band? Fucking right it does.

Now, let's start to focus on the music and not on the integrity of the band (or what's left of it anyway). It really saddens me to hear that the musicians are quite capable of creating good music, just like Divine Heresy, but these guys just don't seem to work together very well. It's almost like they had a group think-tank and decided to make this music as predictable as humanly possible and use barely more than two riffs throughout an entire song. The vocals are exactly what you'd expect from Job For A Cowboy: a terrible metalcore-ish growl that is filled laziness and a scream that would make a prepubescent boy blush. The riffs also reek of “Hey guys, let's try to be REALLY technical because people will think we're FUCKIN' AWESOME!”, and they're not even that technical. No matter how much you guys try, you'll never be Gorguts or Anata, sorry. However, the only good riff I heard in this heap of shit is at the very beginning of “Reduced To Mere Filth”, but then is quickly ruined by the incompetent vocalist.

The only high-light of this entire album? The drums. They're triggered as fuck, but this guy actually works with what he is given (even if it is absolute shit) and turns it up a notch. He is the only one who I'll call by his name, which is Jon “The Charn” Rice. Nice job buddy, I hope you can get out of this band and go onto something much more interesting.

Sometimes I think of myself as a public servant, here to protect people from horrific and shitty metal of all kinds, and I'm exercising my right as that public servant to inform all of those who might think they'll enjoy this album that you will not enjoy it. You will listen to thirty minutes of garbage and not remember any of it, and then taking that disc out of your CD player and throwing it like a frisbee into a scene-kid/hipsters black-framed glasses, effectively making him cry like the little girl he really is. Hell, even better would be if you were somehow able to fashion out a bomb out of this album, and detonating it in a giant circle of pitninjas, thus killing every single one of them. If you do that, I'll vote for you during the 2008 Election as President of the United States.

In closing, I would just like to say that Job For A Cowboy and their first full-length “Genesis” should be ignored at all costs. This is a band and an album to try and bring in the really pretentious crowd so they can show their friends how “br00tal” they really are, when in reality a common housefly would make them shit their pants. This is death metal for hipsters, plain and simple.