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A joke with no punchline, and victims - 19%

Misainzig, November 18th, 2009

First of all, this sounds like shit in pretty much every way imaginable. I understand this is a demo, but the vocals wouldn’t even be worthy of karaoke! I don’t know why the singer is being so tender and sweet, but that’s obviously not the way to sing on a fucking metal release. The falsettos reek of someone imitating a sugary pop song in a way that gives off the impression of joking around. Unfortunately, these vocals are hilarious like that. A chorus of a song like “Satan Will Fall” should invoke fear and power! Loud, powerful vocals “SATAN WILL FALL!!!” right?!?! Not this semi zombie like enthusiasm that just calmly states out of key, “Satan will fall…” Where is that acceptable in metal? That’s not how metal is fucking done!

Oh it gets better though. You’d think that was bad enough, but each song manages to get progressively worse, save for the final song. Live By the Sword probably has some of the most piss-poor vocals you could ever imagine. The timing is incredibly off on a lot of guitar and drum parts during this song, as well as in the song Demon’s End. In both instances, the drums appear to come in about a split second late. To me, that’s one of the biggest things a band can mess up, because it makes them look horrible. If you can’t even get your drums on time, it’s fairly obvious the drumming will be unacceptable. The drums are simply there for the sake of turning a bunch of shitty musicians into an actual band. Overall, the music isn’t the worst thing I've ever heard. It really doesn't do anything I would ever consider within shouting distance of "good" though. Kill the King, for instance doesn’t do anything worth hearing at all. The riffs are incredibly generic, tame, and simple. I’m not one to dismiss something for just being generic, but when the music is this uninspired and hard to listen to, there’s no fucking excuse.

Demon’s End starts with a pretty cool bass line for a change, only to be ruined by the aforementioned drum mistiming. This song has the best solo of the entire demo, but there’s really nothing that great about it. It’s simply a few hairs less shitty than the rest of them. Often times, the riffs are no more than a filler instrument so there isn’t any silence. They literally do nothing on here. Demon’s End is the least shitty song on here, with the vocals at times actually in key! But you’ll still be subjected to those horrible falsettos.

Whiplash would eventually turn out to be legends in the underground thrash scene. How they reached that status, from this steaming pile of dung, is a complete mindfuck to me.