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If this is good, then bad music does not exist. - 0%

Midnyte13, November 14th, 2012

The world of black metal is a unique place indeed. Many phenomenon happen in the black metal world that would be impossible in any other music scene. In the deepest level of the black metal underground you'll find fans who not only enjoy the music, but use it as a way to build their self image. The scene becomes a game where fans seek out albums based on their obscurity rather than quality. Owning obscure and inaccessible albums becomes a badge of street cred to be proudly worn. This is where Ildjarn comes in.

The band dates back to the dawn of the Scandinavian scene. You'd think that this would be another gem in the discography of old Norwegian black metal. Yes you might think that, but if you did you'd be completely wrong. In the early 90's when all the Norwegian kids were forming their own bands and creating modern black metal, Ildjarn wanted so desperately to play with them. Unfortunately for him he didn't have a shred of talent.

So let's pop this sucker in and see what it sounds like. Okay, right off the bat I'm assaulted and insulted by a one note song. Yes, you read that right. It consists of one fucking note. A very twangy, lightly distorted guitar strums a single power chord over a sloppily played blast beat. Over it are distorted black metal vocals. This is the template for every song on the album. On some of the other tracks he gets daring and attempts two or three power chords per song, but the drum beat remains the same throughout. The sound quality sounds similar to a rehearsal recorded from a single microphone in the center of the room. There is nothing else to say about the music. If one single twanging note sounds appealing to you then you might like this album.

The most shocking thing about this album is that black metal enthusiasts will try to convince you that this is some deep, profound work of art. If you're one of elite who praises this album, you really have to ask yourself a few questions. If you're willing to worship an album that consists of poorly recorded, one note songs, where are you willing to draw the line? If this is good, then what is bad? The recording quality couldn't sound much worse. The songwriting couldn't be worse. The musicianship could hardly be worse.

If this is good, then bad music does not exist.