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Where GWAR flopped down and died - 20%

malevolent_spawn, October 15th, 2014

I'm just gonna outright say it, this album sucks. As much as I love GWAR and what they have to offer, this album is a big "fuck you" to my GWAR loving tendencies. There's no substance to any of the songs. It's just insanely pointless perversions that make it sound like these guys were trying to be just godawful perverse with no thinking process behind it. I spent ten bucks on this album hoping that it would be pretty awesome. With a title like "We Kill Everything" you'd expect a face-melting-ear-shredding experience, right? Wrong!!!!

The album starts out with an alright sounding track called "Babyraper" which definitely sounds like a GWAR title. But the buzz for a brutally awesome metal track was killed by its shitty production and equally terrible lyrics. This whole album is just one shitty quality song after another. The guitars are always weak and boring, the drums have no bass on them whatsoever. In fact it's easy to forget they're even there. And speaking of bass, where the fuck is that? Answer: There is none. There are a few tracks that will start with a bass intro, but once the guitars and drumming starts it's gone. It's like listening to Metallica's "...And Justice For All" album all over again. The whole thing sounds like they through it together in their garage when they got bored, then put it on a cassette that's had its tape stripped one too many times. In addition to all of that, the vocals are all drowned out and echo like a motherfucker. Too top it all off, EVERY song sounds like it's meant to be to the tune of a billy joel song. Nothing metal about it.

Honestly, I wouldn't spend any money on this album. It's complete bullshit and isn't worth your time or that ten bucks you got laying around the house. Next time you have some spare cash, get something else. Anything else for that matter.

Because Nearly 2/3 of This is Terrible - 35%

DawnoftheShred, November 17th, 2012

We Kill Everything is the be-all end-all of GWAR albums. It is the fundamental sound of the band, all of their ideas and eccentricities, taken to what must be considered their logical extreme. Within are the band’s most outrageous, perverse, offensive tunes (“Babyraper,” “Fuckin’ an Animal”) and conversely their most immature toilet-humor (“Jiggle the Handle,” “The Master has a Butt”). Some of the band’s most metal moments are contained (“Jagermonsta,” “A Short History of the End of the World”) as well as their punkiest (“Nitro Burnin’ Funny Bong,” “FishFuck”). There’s great moments and horrendously awful novelty moments, just like similar ones released over their first decade of activity. It’s like a retrospective compilation, but with all new songs.

Despite the extremely divergent material on this especially inconsistent GWAR album, there’s some kind of mini storyline incorporated into the meat of the album which leads me to believe that this was at one time meant to be the final GWAR release. This kind of explains the “career summary” approach to songwriting here. And really, some of this stuff is pretty awesome, but holy feces is some of it retarded. “My Girly Ways” is like a lost Kittie track, Slymenstra needing less vocal contributions rather than more. “The Master has a Butt” is a parody of pop country and is about as horrible as you can probably imagine. And if that was hard to believe, “Mary Anne” is straight up, watered down, pop fucking punk garbage. It doesn’t get worse than these few, but man, it doesn’t get much better either. Some of the more flaccid tunes only get some value in context of the hilarious music video that was made for them. Check out “Fuckin’ an Animal,” which reduced me to tears the first time I saw it on the Ultimate GWAR Video Archive. Man, that’s an awesome collection by the way, I laughed my ass off the whole time and…oh shit, we’re still doing this album review. Wish I was doing that video review, most of this stuff is hard to listen to.

It’s a shame too, because you get an instrumental tour de force like “A Short History” buried in between all this cheery novelty shit. The best thing about this album is the fact that, having blown their wads on this convoluted joke, the band would settle down a bit and craft their first really vicious album in over a decade. This, however, remains one of their worst overall efforts and should be overlooked in favor of almost any one of the others.