America Must Be Destroyed

Arguably the most controversial group on this site, GWAR is a lavish musical paradox. On one hand, they have the instrumental chops of a chart-topping 80’s metal band and a knack for lyrical subtlety betraying key influences like Frank Zappa and the Mothers and Spinal Tap. But on the other, in spite of this obvious education and underlying refinement, the band use their powers to craft lowbrow, filthy anthems devoted to sex, gore, and beyond-the-pale perversity while investing the brunt of their creative faculties towards developing an impressive stage show solely for the purpose of amplifying their core depravity to degrees yet unattained in the musical world. For this, they are loved throughout the universe, to the point where their album entitled America Must Be Destroyed (a reprisal for a certain infamous touring incident) charted on the US Top 200.

And from the quality of some of the material enclosed, you can hardly wonder as to why. The opening trio of tracks are some of the best ever penned by the band and great examples of their trademark style. “Ham on the Bone” is intense and goofy, while the Gor Gor mini-saga of “Crack in the Egg” and “Gor-Gor” deliver the monster mid-paced mastery anyone familiar with the band should come to expect. Say what you will about the band’s lack of tact, their lyrical essence is surprisingly lofty. Take this line from “Gor-Gor:”

“Gor Gor comes and sirens wail, mournful drone of babbling fail
Thundrous gnashing firestorm, flames illuminate his form.
Gor Gor comes and you must die, swats F-16s from the sky
Admit you crave the gift he brings you, fall and worship tyrant king, you!”

Has quite the tantalizing rhythm, does it not? Most intriguing from a band that would later deliver “Suckle my bloated love knuckle just like Fatty Arbuckle, I’m gay and I’m proud” and rhyme ‘tits’ with ‘quadriplegic.’ Supple musical knowledge used in the pursuit of the perverse, GWAR continuously satisfies, so long as they’re keeping it heavy.

Unfortunately after this, the album begins to devolve into parody, by which I mean the intentional parody of a variety of musical styles mostly alien from the band’s scum-metal norm. The results are pretty uneven, generally relying on the individual listener’s tolerance for the various genres represented. From where I stand, “Have You Seen Me?” is the only one that gets it right, bizarrely integrating lounge-style verses into the mix with some of GWAR’s most outrageous lyrics yet. Oderus cements his place in metal vocalist history on this one: no one in the universe has a delivery as diverse as he does. Later on in GWAR’s career, he’d focus too much on his growling vocals, but here he’s all over the place (“Poor Ole Tom” is nearly as bizarre in this department). The band is rocking their A-game here too, no wonder this one’s a live classic.

The rest of these attempted humorous diversions are less spectacular. “The Morality Squad” is a stab at rock ‘n’ roll, with what sounds like a squeaky Les Claypool clone handling vocal duties, while “Rock ‘n’ Roll Never Felt So Good” mocks the glam anthems. “Poor Ole Tom” is something of a doom parody while “Gilded Lily” is essentially self-parody: I liked this song better when it was called “The Salaminizer” and wasn’t retarded. The title track seems like it’s trying to make some legitimate anti-authority stance (the album’s theme revolving around anti-censorship and all), but the vocal track is entirely sampled quotes…combined with the uninteresting background riffs and it sounds like a parody of hardcore bands, namely something in the Biohazard vein. Like I said, very diverse but just as inconsistent.

“Blimey” provides a final dose of speed before the dramatic conclusion, the one-two sucker punch of “The Road Behind” and “Pussy Planet.” The first one’s poking fun at power ballads, at times sounding like a few of the Guns and Roses hits that were big at the time (remember “Patience”? you’ll need it). “Pussy Planet” is an appropriate title for a grunge take, but doesn’t listen too much better than most of that shit did or does, one of the pitfalls that come with imitating shitty genres of music. Canadian version gets a few bonus tracks to spite the states with, but “Krak Down” and “Bad Bad Men” would get re-recorded for the next album anyway, so it’s kind of moot.

If you’re a GWAR-head and variety’s your thing, this album will be right up your alley. I still think it’s neat and stuff, but short on bang for the proverbial buck. Unfortunately, parody would begin to play heavily into GWAR albums of the 90’s and this is probably the reason no one listened to them. Still, there’s some diamonds in the rough, and America Must Be Destroyed has enough of ‘em to warrant a time investment. Really, the worst thing about it is that it begs comparison to the mighty Scumdogs of the Universe, which it will forever fall short of matching.

America’s destroyed. Next stop, This Toilet Earth.