No Exit

Sometimes one must calm yourself down, take a deep breath, and judge something on its own merits… but this is neither the time nor place for that! No Exit isn’t a bad album, I could begrudgingly call it a good one – but just look at it! Its title alone is not one of fantasy, magic, and wizard’s sleeves, no, but more akin to something you’d see on road works… however, unlike the sign next to the road, which may prove meddlesome to pedestrians, No Exit is pedestrian! Awaken the Guardian and The Spectre Within are titles for metal albums, No Exit? No, I’m not willing to accept that, not at all.

With this album Fates Warning went from the ethereal mistress of the forest who was distant, magical, arousing, throbbing, hard-on, err, to the pleasant but not altogether wondrous woman at the checkout of your local supermarket. Yes, she’s nice enough – but all too keen to fondle your tangerines, she likes Rush too much, and ultimately missing a certain je ne sais quoi (which is French for John Arch). Yes, I’m well aware that Fates Warning could well have descended into the realms of being merely good rather than being ASTROMICAL FANTASTIC AMAZING TRANSCEND EVERYTHING as they were with Arch. But his presence alone would have been more welcome, even if they did turn into a dullard hard rock band who tried to get a sing-along going to ‘Exodus’, in which Arch would sing “Exodus”, and the filled arena would chant back “ascend the plane exile this medium of bondage far beyond the myriads of crypts and pyramids beyond the harpy vultures guarding their tombs, Arcana awaits”. You know, that would have been funny at least. On No Exit Fates Warning went in the direction of more normal things, things I understand, things that you can comprehend – and my God it was disappointing! As I may not understand Awaken the Guardian but in the name of all that is John Arch, I get up every afternoon, scrape the crust off my jeans, and try! Fates Warning: up my ears and in brain.

‘Anarchy Divine’ itself is an excellent song, more thrashy than anything that preceded it, but even on a song as exceptional as this some shortcomings are readily apparent. Firstly, the production is a bit more cumbersome and some of the band’s personality is lost in translation through it – Steve Zimmerman doesn’t sound as unique as he did previously. Secondly, Ray Alder is here. He is a good singer I will begrudgingly admit that. In any other band he might have been excellent, but this isn’t another band – this is Fates Warning. His voice has similarities to other things; occasional touches of Michael Kiske, even some initial similarities to Arch himself, but along with this we get things I have no interest in like that yelping, worm-headed thing, Geoff Tate. ‘Silent Cries’, again, is decent it might even tempt me to be subjective and accommodating of this painful change. It has got a similar pulsating guitar work that certainly is still very much Fates Warning, the vocals, too, are very much complementary to the whole vibe. But alas, I’m already familiar with Awaken the Guardian is this a pale, underwater imitation.

There is a really, long epic song here – it’s really long and epic, and I can’t get into it at all. You never noticed how long ‘Epitaph’ was, it feels like about two or three minutes at tops, this one feels long. I can seldom actually make it through it without yawning, breathing a deep hateful sigh, and looking out of the window in hope of seeing something more exciting like pigeons or paint drying on the fence below. Honestly, talk about falling into the trappings of progressive metal! This sounds like prog metal, all that run-of-the-mill stuff. People actually forget how progressive the band’s second and third records are, that’s how good they are! But, what of this? Disjointed, or so it would seem, maybe it’s the fact that my computer has separated the track into its individual parts, and as such I notice the nanosecond it takes for the change to occur. Individually, some of the sections are pleasant – especially the more mellow parts, but altogether it doesn’t seem fully integrated. Maybe I’m listening to Opeth? But wait, this is still okay, so maybe I’m listening to Witchfinder General? Maybe, just maybe the point of this song was to make a bunch of fragmented ideas and put them together in a manner that would have me thinking “Hmmm, Fates Warning are losing it… guess I should be thankful that they didn’t put out another completely amazing album, I’d probably would have killed myself if they went shit after that.” If that is the case, Jim, then mission accomplished!

This is a noticeably worse record than the two records that came before it. Therefore it gets a lower score, that’s how this rating system works, right? Anyway, this review is dedicated to the loving memory of John Arch era Fates Warning, if only they’d stayed away from that busy road…

John Arch, who made thee?
John Arch, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?
Gave thee life, and bid thee feed,
By the stream and o'er the mead;
Gave thee clothing of delight,
Softest clothing, woolly, bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice,
Making all the vales rejoice?
John Arch, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?

John Arch, I'll tell thee,
John Arch, I'll tell thee:
He is called by thy name,
For He calls Himself a John.
He is meek, and He is mild;
He became a little child.
I a child, and thou an Arch,
We are called by His name.
John Arch, God bless thee!
John Arch, God bless thee!