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What a cute little elf! - 19%

DeathGrinder666, January 8th, 2005

I remember a time when Black Metal used to be evil and demonic and the last thing that any black metal band would ever think of doing is conforming to the mainstream and making their music tolerable for the ears of anyone who isnt a minion of the lord sathanas. Indeed black metal was about burning churchs and being as underground, anti-mainstream, tr00, grym, and kvlt as you possibly could.

Enter Dimmu Borgir, about as scary as a little elf in corpse paint and panty hoes dancing around in the snow (or just danni filth), black metal has completely lost all meaning in their eyes. Since they have started their way dimmu has sold over 400,000 albums and have rose to the status of one of the most known bm acts in the world along with Cradle of Filth. They have even participated in the most promoted metal event of the year - The Ozzfest. But saying all this doesnt necesseraily mean that the music is bad. right?

Wrong, regardless of what they have done or not the music still sucks ass.

Death Cult Armageddon is cute. Its quite radio friendly (as black metal was never meant to be) its already plastered all over mtv anyway. The cd starts out in a very boring and monotone way and leads into some awful sounding melodic bm. The first song has some standard riffing which drags on to much, by the end of the track you will lose your concentration completely. Progencies comes on and catchs your concentration back for a few seconds with its thunderous oepning but then loses you somewhere with all the shitty riffing and melodick bullshit thats going on in there. After that track nothing will catch your attention for the rest of the cd, except for a few half assed, sort of catchy riffs, and really awful parts, like dumb orchestral sections, and horrible clean vocal parts, which manage to stick out quite well.

The production is the clearest ive heard on any black metal album. Personally i enjoy bm with a rawer feel, but the Britney Spears - like production is better for dimmu becuase its gives them more room for the "atmosphere" they create with their use of keyboards, which essentially is a big part of their sound. The symphony and keyboards make their sound more sophisticated, even if it really isnt, and is just there to impress 14 year old CoF fans.

The drumming and bass (which you can actually hear) are not bad, they are standard and medicore but the guitar work and vocals make them the better part of the album. The vocals truely are someting else, shagrath sounds like a fucking frog. He almost sounds as bad as that dude from Maniac Butcher who sounds like hes doing a Donald Duck impersenation. Its fucking bad.

Above all Death Cult Armageddon is boring and doesnt really fill my expectations for a standard BM album or a mainstream, radio-friendly metal album. Its just bad and it will make you feel stupid, especially once those clean vocal parts appear. If you are into earlier Dimmu Borgir you might like this, if you are into Cradle of filth you might like this, if youre mallcore you might like this, but if you are serious about BM and want to get associated with the music you can skip Dimmu Borgir. There are many other BM acts that can create a much more powerful atmosphere without all the melodick wankery and filler symphnoy having to play in its background. This is just the sweet little elf Black Metal never wanted to be.