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Re-Review 07 - 20%

MutatisMutandis, October 22nd, 2005

Considering how much of a fucking twat I was when I originally reviewed this album, I really hope people were able to find the purpose amongst the bullshit wordcrafting and generally piss-poor sense of "humor" I employed.
Why am I re-reviewing this? To cover my ass, really.
My opinion really hasn't dislodged since my initial listen, but in fact, has become more bitter. If you will, imagine the spine tingling darkness and edge of such musical progedies as say, the Insane Clown Posse, then inoculate a bunch of mongoloid post-black metal burnout BDSM aficionados with the aforementioned "parental advisory" 'tude, and you've basically got yourself a campily sarcastic, macabre-tinged vampire porno romp. Throw in some instrumentation and you've got yourself one of the shittiest turnaround albums I've ever heard.

I'm not really sure what it is about this album that throws me into such a "hulk smash world"-esque rage, as compared to the previous releases (each of which I'll admit my quasi-admiration for), it's not all that different, but there's just something undeniably off about this mundane crank of sound. The excessive keyboarding just seems to overwhelm all possible atmospheric bleakness the guitars would have produced, the catchiness of Dusk And Her Embrace has all but dissipated, and the vocal patterns of frontman Dani Filth just lack the glorious "oomph" required to elevate him above the soundtrack provided by a decent sized rat being slowly crushed by a cardboard bailer. In fact, the vocals are probably the most tangible gripe I can fisty-cuff with. His approach is what initially drew my interest to the group, and this half-assed performance (albeit nowhere near as awful as his followup performances) proves to be impossible for me to get over, especially with the exceedingly lengthy lyrics on this album. The drumming of Nicholas "Uncle Fester" Barker is pretty fucking good to be honest, failing to enter the territory I from this point on dub "BM Generica", featuring lots of those crazy "blastbeats" that are not tired out in the slightest. No sir. Why the hell he screws around with these guys and Dimmu Borgir boggles my mind...

The bonus disc is truly atrocious, though, and I sometimes regret the fact that I even gave it a shot... the way they utterly butt-rape Sodom and Iron Maiden is inexcusable, even though I can't claim fanship of the latter act...
Overall, a total waste of time. Stick with the originals; they kick this shit down a flight of stairs equivalent to the autobon is length. Psh-tosh.