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Alexi Laiho is the hottest chick in metal - 5%

nuklearkrieg, August 23rd, 2005

Seriously. The guy looks like a woman. I mean, the least he can do is grow a crappy beard or something so he doesn’t look like an anorexic punk bitch.

This band is getting really old, really fast. Their music lacks complete aggression and effort. The vocalist aren't growled anymore, just toned down so as not to scare away all the parachute pant wearing chain-toting mall douchebags. I mean, the lyrics were always complete shit, but "in your face" is just beyond feces.

Example: I don’t give a flying fuck motherfucker!!!!!!! (repeat a million times in generic angst-filled manner). This is the perfect song to blast out of the iPod your stepdad bought you after your mom caught you smoking her cigarettes and staying up past 11.

The actual music sucks too. See, people go on and on how Alexi is an amazing guitarist, but the problem is, all his music sounds the same. His riff's are not riff's. If you listen to "Silent Night, Bodom Night," it's just a bunch of ideas haphazardly thrown together to make a really incoherent song. The same goes for all his other songs, and "In Your Face" is no different. After Hatebreeder, Alexi's creative force just died, but as we all know, creativity is always inversely proportional to popularity, therefore we're forcefed this bullshit until we cannot possibly suffer through any more.

Wow. COB covered Britney Spears. Take that popular music. This isn't funny. It's just disgusting.

Alexi - grow some balls, get some integrity, and never say "YOW WOW" again.