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Not even worth resting your drink on - 0%

DomDomMCMG, November 23rd, 2012

After a phenomenal amount of hype for this band with many people going so far as to call this album "perfect" I decided to check them out and i'm left utterly speechless. This is probably the worst album of the year by far.

It's not even a mediocre effort like the latest Wretched, Job For A Cowboy and Gojira albums. This is utter garbage in every possible aspect. The vocals are unlistenable Angela Gossow-esque rasps, mixed with quiet plodding black metal riffs that go nowhere and do nothing special or noteworthy. The drumwork is lazy and just follows the guitar patterns, and as Carach of Filth are a "symphonic" black metal band they have some really bad orchestral bits in the background. Orchestras can be used to your advantage if you can find a way to make them work with your music but Cradle Angren just can't. It sounds like they quickly wrote some basic notes on a keyboard and added them so the music sounds a little "different" to your typical modern black metal.

Apparently the lyrics of Dimmu Angren are supposed to be a new approach to story telling, so maybe that's why the vocals are so much louder than the guitars, so you can listen to the "story" and hear it clearly. You might as well buy a Harry Potter audiobook read by Shagrath.

Even the album art is pitiful. A picture of the band that they've then put the "Poster Edges" effect on with Photoshop? Seriously? They couldn't do any better than that? Or were they just on a budget because they spent so much on keyboards and make up?

This album by Carach Borgir is something you'll want to listen to once for the novelty and never again. Actually, don't waste any time on this horrendous piece of shit, but if curiosity gets the best of you, listen to Sir John on Youtube, have a good giggle, then close the tab and get on with your life.