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As evil as a Scooby-Doo episode. - 0%

bitterman, June 18th, 2014

Energy drink peddler Nergal is back again with 2014's The Satanist, an album a lot of fans/critics are hailing as a "masterpiece" from a "rejuvenated" band. After hearing the title track and laughing hysterically over how the beginning reminded me of The Monster Mash, I knew this was another sham operation from Behemoth. Even the "natural and organic" production Nergal had promised with this album is a lie: more of the same loud, over sampled/triggered drums and sterile guitar tone (is that a Boss Metal Zone pedal?) that the masses have become accustomed to hearing from Behemoth can be found here once again, but with the "additional instrumentation" (trumpets, Hammond organ, etc.) more prominent in the mix than the band itself (the end of the single "Blow Your Trumpets Gabriel" showcases this). Another vapid lifestyle pandering media product full of watered down later Morbid Angel/Krisiun riffs with mechanical chugging grooves and multi-tracked constipated grunt/shout vocals. It's more mass market Hot Topic "extreme metal" of the banal and blast beat ridden variety.

Songs are comprised of fewer parts this time, and while you may think this would mean more focused structuring of the music, the Behemoth trademark of shoving riffs aside for incongruous riffs and switching tempo for no reason makes its return. The same old music is rehashed once again, but this time concessions were made to "rock" music fans in the form of "bluesy" lead guitar. Ill-fitting Slash styled solos are showcased in these songs (usually over "anthemic" chord progressions for maximum stadium rock effect) whenever possible which, alongside the simpler nature of this release (even for Behemoth's lowest common denominator pandering standards), makes this closer to rock music than ever before (the last track eerily reminded me of Silverchair during the stompy part). All of these elements, alongside the "confrontational" album title and the regurgitation of past lyrical themes in variant ways (lots of "ov" and anti-christian sentiment with mainstream recognizable occult mumbo jumbo) gives this the "kitsch" feeling of one of those songs you'd hear at the end of a Scooby-Doo episode given a metal flavoring. Vapid. Avoid.