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absolutely fucking terrible - 23%

UltraBoris, August 4th, 2004

Annihilator's formula has gone from "worn thin" to "this band must die". The album is a horrible fucking mess, ranging from poorly played thrash to pretty much mallcore. The vocalist sounds like fucking Beavis, the songwriting is irritating, and the riffs are lifeless. Half the time, they're directly ripping off an old album and doing a shitty job of it - the other time, they're pretending to be a washed-up Pantera clone.

The album kinda starts nicely, with the only song on here that I can stand to listen to repeatedly. That is "Bloodbath", which is pretty formulaic, but hey, it's thrash, and it's well-done for what it is. The lyrics are dumb ("know that you shall miss... the stench of your own piss"), and Beavis sucks at vocals, but the main riff is sufficiently Slayer that the song is good.

Then we go into a steady trip downhill from there... Back to the Palace is basically The Fun Palace riff, played with the notes half wrong, and the highlight is actually the little melodic break around 3:44 - it's VERY sad when a thrash album's highlight is basically the ballad section. The rest of the song isn't bad, but when it's good it is basically the same verse melody as Bloodbath. Boring.

After that, it's all fucking downhill. Punctured is basically mallcore. Also, it features the Great Cornholio on vocals... "Punctured! Punctured! Booiinnngg! TP for my bunghole! Fire! Fire!" By the time this is half over (THREE agonising minutes), you never EVER want to hear the word "Punctured" EVER again, and the next person that says it is gonna get an ass beating. This sounds like a Moderntallica song meets Linkin Park.

Then the next track... fucken almighty, you'd think that something with a title like "Criteria for a Black Widow" would be one of the dregs of the album, not the goddamn TITLE TRACK. What a stupid fucking title. The song is completely without value - insipid lyrics and a vocal delivery that makes Korn sound masterful.

Schizos 3 is sorta like Schizos 1 and 2: Jeff Waters's "all the riffs I've got lying around". There's a few good ones in there, but the whole thing is one fine mess, and the best riff is a ripoff of Toxik's Count your Blessings. "Nothing Left" has nothing to do with Agent Steel, "Loving the Sinner" is mediocre whiffle-ball thrash similar to what Annie has been spoonfeeding us with the last few years. Same with Double Dare, which is even more repetitive and stupid.

What a fucking WASTE. "Sonic Homicide" would be cool, except for the vocals, which are ... sonic homicide. Heh. Imagine Beavis through a megaphone. Really. Fucking. Lame. Sorta like the vox on God Hates Us All. What the fuck, man. Then, the last song is some shitty ballad, except for at the VERY end.

Now, if there were a part of the album that you NEVER wanted to hear again, what would it be? That's right... the asinine verses of Criteria, with that fucking irritating vocal delivery. Well, guess what's back. Except without any instruments. THAT is the hidden bonus track. It's like buying a CD, and getting a free ass-rape to go with it.

Kids, Annihilator basically sucks. This album is no exception.