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About 68% of this is shit - 32%

Reaper, August 14th, 2004

This album is mostly a huge waste of time (and when one begins a review with such a phrase, you know it can't be good). There is no sound structure or composition throughout most of this album, just some random sounds randomly placed throughout the album, and I shit you not, this is the case. For example, the first track, which is an intro track, has some guy laughing silently for 39 seconds. Is he laughing because he got idiots such as myself to actually purchase this album? Perhaps. The track serves no purpose at all, or perhaps it does, because the next two tracks are filled with pointless laughter as well. That’s the only thing that I remember after listening to them. What the fuck is this shit? This album is so disorganized; it really does not know where the fuck it’s going. It is so random and so obviously unrehearsed that it does not provide a pleasurable listening experience whatsoever.

A few of the songs have some catchy riffs here and there (relatively speaking of course), but only for a few seconds than the randomness is, again, implemented. Most of the songs have some whore of a woman talking, usually offbeat to the rest of the music, and then the male vocalist starts singing (after he stopped having wood over the female vocalist) or rather making random sounds while attempting to sing.

There is perhaps one good track on the album, everything else blows. The ones that stand out as less terrible are perhaps tracks five, “Sleeping Princess of the Arges” and track nine, “Willothewisp,” for, at least, a minimal demonstration of structure and the absence of laughter. “Sleeping Princess of the Arges,” has at least some kind of melodic approach present, without being totally random. Adequately sung lyrics by a female vocalist mixed with harsh raspy vocals work less gay, for lack of a better term. The strongest track on the album is track twelve, “Hecate, My Love and Lust,” which has a Cradle of Filth-eque atmosphere to it. Yes, it is pretty sad when the strongest track on the album sounds like Cradle of Filth. Other than this, I cannot recall a song that did not make me regret getting this album.

Another piece of crap track is track eleven, which albeit has some well executed conga beats which are impressive at times, it also has some retard in the background moaning for no apparent reason. An instrumental with moaning… hmmm? Are you guys running out of ideas?

There is really no need to describe any of the other tracks as most of them are not memorable and sound pretty much the same. It is quiet sad when a track like, “Neptune,” which is a very simple acoustical instrumental track, with soft symphonic keyboard sounds, is better than most of the other musical tracks. Get this album only if you are in dire need of retarded, disorganized, random, obnoxious attempts at putting out albums. Beware!