Encyclopaedia Metallum: The Metal Archives

WebOfPiss · Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 4:44 pm Post subject: DOOM REICH

A vision of the future, near-at-hand, but far-off in circumstance; black, sickly clouds boil like a cauldron of blood over nuclear blasted desolate landscapes, a black order of blazing-eyed demons crowds atop an infinitely high tower constructed of human gore, the flesh of the last Christian is teased and torn, bruised and burned with cruelly heated corkscrewed medical implements, at the demon cock crow the body is sundered from its mind and soul and cast aside to the eternally lifeless wastes below, the blazing-eyed, kutte-clad demons disperse to deliver their final alcoholocaustic occultomic terroristic counterstrike to the last human nations, in their departure the sound of True Metal echoes behind their wake! What is responsible for this incontrovertibly imminent scenario? A single publication!

Doom Reich is the world's only zine dedicated to True Metal, reviews, interviews, supreme male supremacy, substance abuse, nihilism, Satan, and true stories. It is the constitution of the everlasting Metallic kingdom of tomorrow. It is the black bible of the heandbanging hellions to be. It is the most psychotically evil Metal fanzine ever conceived, written, edited, and published by and for the demon possessed! Doom Reich issue #1 is available NOW and contains thoughts and ideas that WILL GUIDE YOUR LIFE, reviews that WILL FORM YOUR OPINIONS, and informational content that WILL EXPAND YOUR CONCIOUSNESS into the deepest wells of the blackest abyss of Satan’s asshole in hell!

Doom Reich is recommended for true Metalheads only: Christians, wimps, posers, and anyone who can't handle this kind of crap should FUCK OFF and commit suicide ASAP.

Issues will grow larger over time!

Price is $3 WHICH INCLUDES shipping to anywhere in the contiguous U.S. I can mail it internationally, provided you don't mind paying fuck knows what for shipping.

Send orders, questions, hate mails, and death threats via PM.

Hail decay.
G_M

The cover of issue #1
_________________
A zine
Currently selling a Beherit and a Vlad Tepes patch-PM me

kwellada · Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 6:16 pm Post subject: Re: DOOM REICH

thejuiceisloose · Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:04 pm Post subject:

This sounds like the coolest zine ever!

kwellada · Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:49 pm Post subject:

He hates Canadians so I can't order a copy to find out.
_________________
Has-been

WebOfPiss · Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 10:02 pm Post subject:

LordOfTerror · Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 10:12 pm Post subject:

I'll take a copy! I'll PM you with some details.
_________________
It's the dawn of the crucifiers... SUFFOCATION!

Witch King, my band

Bezerko · Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 6:04 am Post subject:

TRUE stories. Laughing

Send me a free copy you lesbian communist dickfag.

In all seriousness, scan me a PDF version!
_________________
The REAL Slim Shady. No, seriously.

WebOfPiss · Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:48 pm Post subject:

GraveDesecration · Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 12:40 am Post subject:

Hah, I'm so fucking kvlt, I got the first misprint manga edition!
_________________
Sickness from the radiation makes you lose your mind.

There is only one master in the Reich. Doom.

Member #5 of the AFMF: You are with us or against us!!!! ,,|,

Bezerko · Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:04 am Post subject:

WoP, you disappoint me.

Just a question: Was the ruler in the pic really necessary?
_________________
The REAL Slim Shady. No, seriously.

GraveDesecration · Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 3:45 am Post subject:

No, he did it because I complained about the first print being too small.
_________________
Sickness from the radiation makes you lose your mind.

There is only one master in the Reich. Doom.

Member #5 of the AFMF: You are with us or against us!!!! ,,|,

WebOfPiss · Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:11 pm Post subject:

WebOfPiss · Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 6:57 pm Post subject:

Okay, so after doing the calculations and such, it is going to be $3 (which includes postage) to anywhere in the contiguous U.S.

PM me with how you want to pay and I'll follow up on that ASAP.
_________________
A zine
Currently selling a Beherit and a Vlad Tepes patch-PM me

ogmetal · Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 7:26 pm Post subject:

Man, WoP...I can get toilet paper for much cheaper than 3 dollars. Your price is steep. This better be the fluffy kind.

WebOfPiss · Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 7:29 pm Post subject:

ogmetal · Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 7:36 pm Post subject:

orionmetalhead · Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 12:06 am Post subject:

Your Jerusalem recommendation was fucking spot on. I want a copy as well. DOOOOM
_________________
www.arcticflamemetal.com
http://contaminatedtones.blogspot.com/ REVIEWS + INTERVIEWS

WebOfPiss · Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 1:03 am Post subject:

thejuiceisloose · Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 3:01 pm Post subject:

I got a copy of this... it's friggin awesome! Don't want to give any spoilers, but the "true" story was hilarious the the article on tobacco was highly informative! Looking forward to issue 2! Wink

overkill666 · Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 10:28 pm Post subject:

Mm, sounds quite interesting after reading the OP description haha. I'm not to keen on underground zines, but this one sounds intriguing. Might have to pick up a copy.
_________________
my band.
www.myspace.com/autumnreflections

WebOfPiss · Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:13 am Post subject:

To all that ordered, your copies were mailed out today and you should receive them by Wednesday/Thursday.
_________________
A zine
Currently selling a Beherit and a Vlad Tepes patch-PM me

LordOfTerror · Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 9:31 pm Post subject:

I got my copy today. Pretty well-written, nihilistic stuff, and well made. My only complaint is that it's too short, it left me wanting more.
_________________
It's the dawn of the crucifiers... SUFFOCATION!

Witch King, my band

WebOfPiss · Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2009 10:35 pm Post subject:

This is a TRUE testimonial from one of DOOM REICH's readers, a dear friend of mine who got one of the very early issues of the zine.
---------------------------------------------------
I used to be just like you. I lived, I loved, I laughed. I was a happy, well-adjusted person with a wife and kids. My life was turning out great. Then, one day, something amazing happened.

It happened after I had scarfed down a whole box of what turned out to be a box of chocolate laxatives while driving to work. I parked on the shoulder of the highway and tried to run into the trees to shit in secret, but fate had other things planned for me. I tripped on a rock and broke both my kneecaps. Trapped facedown, I was unable to hide myself from the hundreds of commuters that drove by, all of whom saw me spraying foamy liquid diarrhea into the air. I grabbed some roadside trash and covered my face with it until the ambulance arrived an hour later.

During the wait I had a lot of time to read that trash, and when I did I discovered it was so much more. It was a manifesto, an instruction book, a holy text.

It was DOOM REICH.

Soon after that I found myself doing things... things I'd never have considered before, but which seemed so right now. At first I was just torturing small animals and taking pictures of kids in the park. Then I got bolder and started taking the cutest children to my basement, where I'd stick needles into their testicles and beat them. When I was done I would just dump them in the street and let them crawl home. One day, I didn't. The bodies piled up fast, and eventually my own sons were among the dead. I didn't care about them. I didn't care about anything anymore.

A few days ago I set my wife on fire. When I was sure she was fully cooked I started cutting chunks out of her juicy flesh. She was delicious. I discovered that she was pregnant. I ate the fetus, too. I think some of the neighbors noticed the smell.

A few minutes ago I heard sirens outside and I knew the police had finally come for me. A few gunshots out the window have kept them back long enough to write this. Some people will say that I was sick, that the sickness had always been in me. They'll be wrong. I know what did this to me.

It was DOOM REICH.

I have two more messages. To those of you who are thinking of buying a copy of DOOM REICH - don't. Buy ten, twenty, a hundred. Hand them out on the street. Send them to congressmen and senators. Force people to read it at gunpoint. Spread the Good News. To those of you who aren't thinking of buying a copy of this 'zine - get off of this computer immediately, get a fork, and gouge your eyes out. If you don't want to take a look at this extreme, intelligent, and extremely intelligent 'zine, then you don't deserve to take a look at anything at all.

I hear the cops running up the steps now. I am going to kill myself. Goodbye,
A TRUE Fan
_________________
A zine
Currently selling a Beherit and a Vlad Tepes patch-PM me

plhrsrcdns · Metal newbie Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 107

Really enjoyable little read. Has a W.M.S. style nihilism about it that's quite appreciable. Looking forward to (a hopefully longer) issue 2.
_________________
Pale Horse Recordings

Currently Available:
PHR001
PHR005 :: Dictator - Dysangelist
PHR006 :: Thra'el - The Baneful Spirit

WebOfPiss · Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2009 10:54 pm Post subject:

Issue 2 will indeed be longer and full of more hatred, nihilism, and True Metal, as well as few surprises and extras!
_________________
A zine
Currently selling a Beherit and a Vlad Tepes patch-PM me

orionmetalhead · Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2009 11:52 pm Post subject:

That testimonial should be all anyone needs to see to have a reason to buy this... seriously...
_________________
www.arcticflamemetal.com
http://contaminatedtones.blogspot.com/ REVIEWS + INTERVIEWS

GraveDesecration · Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 9:32 pm Post subject:

Remember that all issues of Doom Reich come with a personalized note!

_________________
Sickness from the radiation makes you lose your mind.

There is only one master in the Reich. Doom.

Member #5 of the AFMF: You are with us or against us!!!! ,,|,

WebOfPiss · Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 10:15 pm Post subject:

Pretty awesome tribute to Imp Naz there with your ghettoblaster! What a fitting use for a DR note.
_________________
A zine
Currently selling a Beherit and a Vlad Tepes patch-PM me

orionmetalhead · Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 1:32 am Post subject:

100% SUPPORT

so much fun in such a tiny little read. All mags should be this great.
_________________
www.arcticflamemetal.com
http://contaminatedtones.blogspot.com/ REVIEWS + INTERVIEWS

orionmetalhead · Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 12:59 am Post subject:

Review of DOOM REICH #1

" While the lovely homemade style and print is endearing, it is the effort taken to make the magazine as unique as possible that gives Doom Reich a charming personality. With each issue containing a hand written note of sorts - my note contained lyrics from Eyehategods's "Left To Starve" - from the main contributer and founder Greven Melkor, there is a feeling of worthiness contained with your issue. "

More at: http://contaminatedtones.blogspot.com/
_________________
www.arcticflamemetal.com
http://contaminatedtones.blogspot.com/ REVIEWS + INTERVIEWS

weakling_goat · Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 3:01 pm Post subject:

It sounds awfully tongue in cheek to me. Is it a serious zine? feedback is pretty good, I'm interested.

WebOfPiss · Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 3:14 pm Post subject:

unclevladistav · Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 7:18 pm Post subject:

A pretty interesting read, I didn't find it as funny as others here, but it was definitely good enough that I'd give the next few a purchase.
_________________
Decaying Citadel - Extreme Doom Metal
www.myspace.com/decayingcitadel
New demo out now.
Buy it here:
http://www.bubonicprod.pt.vu/

WebOfPiss · Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 2:32 pm Post subject:

MASSIVE FUCKING NEWS UPDATE

Issue #2 is due out in a couple weeks and holy hell will you want a copy. I laced each copy of issue #1 with a pheromone that will make you NEED to purchase issue #2. This one is going to blow #1 out of the water. To sum up how much better it is, I shall quote one of the DR writers.

Nordic_Warhammer · Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 12:33 pm Post subject:

I posted a little something about Doom Reich on my blog. Buy it, it is only 3 bucks you turds.

http://swordofvalor.blogspot.com/
_________________
Below you will find a blog containing music...
http://swordofvalor.blogspot.com/ Lots of demos/other rare material.
Updated July 24th, 2009 (preview tracks up/no downloading required)
Unlimited downloads. No Passwords. No wait.

WebOfPiss · Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 1:37 am Post subject:

You can now PM me to place your order for issue 2. It will be out this week and shipped to you asap! I WILL ship anywhere in the world and cost will be adjusted accordingly. All US orders are $3 which includes shipping.
_________________
A zine
Currently selling a Beherit and a Vlad Tepes patch-PM me

Clanbronwyn · Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 1:06 pm Post subject:

Fuck, I'm getting one of these!

Yazalde70 · Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 2:55 am Post subject:

And people pay for that shite ? Must be the fine art of the hand made swastikas.
TRUE metalheads don't buy crap that "...contains thoughts and ideas that WILL GUIDE YOUR LIFE, reviews that WILL FORM YOUR OPINIONS..." TRUE metalheads
can do all that without your fucking help thank you very much.
_________________
Daemoni Na Hoiche

Bezerko · Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 6:58 am Post subject:

Yazalde70 obviously listens to Opeth and thinks Anal Cunt have musical value.
_________________
The REAL Slim Shady. No, seriously.

Yazalde70 · Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 11:17 am Post subject: