Have you ever wondered why the majority of our misery and sadness is mostly our fault? Now don't get me wrong, they're some things in life that are simply unavoidable, such as: being diagnosed with a sickness, a death in the family, a friend that back-stabbed/betrayed us, or being fired/laid-off from work. But the things that bother us and can be changed, sometimes we just won't do what it takes to make that change.

For example, we have all heard stories of kids/teenagers being picked on in school. Most of the time it's because they're weak, look different, or just ugly. Why don't they work out or get a make over? They hope for change, yet they won't go out and make that change happen. Another example are the asshole friends that some people have, the asshole friends that enjoy torturing them. Why don't they just get rid of them? Some people even prefer in keeping them around for some strange reason. Or that girlfriend/boyfriend that just fucking sucks, but we just can't get the courage to break-up with them and move on.

Most people say that the reason is because of change itself. Change is scary sometimes because we just don't know what the end result would be. Some people are so scared that they're not willing to even take that chance to make a change. Eventually, the misery would become part of our 'comfort zone'.

What I would like to know is the experience that you guys have with this subject, and please explain on why it was so hard to make that change. Or if you would like to just give us your opinion on this subject and it's theories, then please do.

I had ZERO friends in high school and never wanted to change who I was to appeal to others and be accepted. I would have loved to have had more friends. I'm not 'good looking' by most standards. I like metal. I don't dress fasionably. I love who I am and I love my life - so fuck it. Now that I'm out I'm enjoying a more fulfilling social life anyways.

This can have a lot to do with it. I can attest to it, it was very hard to get used to the idea of being happy.

Talk therapy would not work if most misery was not self-caused. People's minds torture them, and it is a vicious cycle- people are treated badly, so they get used to being treated bad, and become to depressed/etc. to find a way out of it.

Well, I'm currently going through that kind of thing with my girlfriend. We've recently decided to break because she doesn't want to be with me for now, and she wants to see if I am the best person for her out there. But she can't make up her freaking mind, putting me through emotional distress and yadda yadda yadda. I know I should probably give her up completely, she probably feels the same way, but for some reason we keep holding on, hoping it will change. Yah, so taking a step out of it is hard, because it has been so comfortable and easy for a year and a half. Its all we know, and change is scary. But the break will help us think clearly, which most people can't do in situations in which change has to, or might occur.

This topic will inevitably become a hub for personal drama and sob stories (see previous post). Unlike the thread on antidepressants, there is little or no scientific component to the thrust of the thread.

Not Symposium material. In fact, probably not metal board material.