Encyclopaedia Metallum: The Metal Archives

Message board

* FAQ    * Search   * Register   * Login 



Reply to topic  
Author Message Previous topic | Next topic
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Sat Oct 08, 2005 9:39 pm 
 

I snagged a couple but the post didn't go through, but this one will.

Review for Ozzy Osbourne's Blizzard of Ozz

Quote:
Ozzy Osbourne-Blizzard of Ozz - 90%
Written by king_panzer on September 29th, 2005


Sweet ass title, and extremely good album to go with it. Must i say more?


To quote a well-known comedian:
"Haters wanna hate, lovers wanna love,
I don't even want, none of the above
I want to pee on you

Hopefully I'll catch a couple more before I get drunk and shoot people.
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.


Last edited by CandideCamera on Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Top
 Profile  
Visionary
Veteran

Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 3:57 pm
Posts: 2635
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sat Oct 08, 2005 11:35 pm 
 

Wouldn't it just be easier to post this in the thread directly below and have a topic assigned to crappy reviews?
:scratch:
_________________
taleskiss on Kiss wrote:
They influenced MOST of the metal bands of our days, and they are not part of this site? This is unacceptable!!!
I would like to know why is that???
Because they are not considered metal? This is not fare!!!

Top
 Profile  
Bloodstone
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 11:48 am
Posts: 424
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 1:34 am 
 

Yeah I agree. I love reading these, and n00bs/idiots might learn something from reading them.

Top
 Profile  
Visionary
Veteran

Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 3:57 pm
Posts: 2635
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 2:28 am 
 

Bloodstone wrote:
Yeah I agree. I love reading these, and n00bs/idiots might learn something from reading them.


Yeah plenty of examples of what consitutes an acceptable review but sometimes the best way to get people to learn is to show what is not acceptable.
_________________
taleskiss on Kiss wrote:
They influenced MOST of the metal bands of our days, and they are not part of this site? This is unacceptable!!!
I would like to know why is that???
Because they are not considered metal? This is not fare!!!

Top
 Profile  
OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 12:19 pm 
 

king_panzer wrote:
Sweet ass title, and extremely good album to go with it. Must i say more?


Apparently yes.

Top
 Profile  
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 3:50 pm 
 

Visionary wrote:
Wouldn't it just be easier to post this in the thread directly below and have a topic assigned to crappy reviews?
:scratch:
Back in the Pax Metallum there was one of these about every couple of days. A sticky for it would be a good Idea though, just change the title when updated.
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

Top
 Profile  
OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 12:56 pm 
 

Well we could keep bumping this 'til Nightgaunt crucifies it or one of us...

Top
 Profile  
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:54 pm 
 

Review for Höyry-Kone's Hyonteisia Voi Rakastaa

Quote:
231 - 52%
Written by blaknight on October 7th, 2005


good


Profound.
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

Top
 Profile  
ogmetal
Veteran of the Psychic Wars

Joined: Fri Jul 02, 2004 9:22 pm
Posts: 3968
PostPosted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 11:18 pm 
 

Quote:
This group sucks - 0%
Written by foxhole on October 10th, 2005

Two simple words about this ablum it sucks



speedemon, these guys are funny at first, but they lose their charm quickly. I'd like to give this guy some points just so I can take them away.
_________________
Dark Descent Records - http://www.darkdescentrecords.com
Dark Descent Records Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/DarkDescentRecords
Dark Descent Records Band Camp - http://darkdescentrecords.bandcamp.com/

Top
 Profile  
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 12:55 am 
 

eh, i think they aren't even funny, they're sad to begin with. but when brought to the forums, it's a good ego stroke and a chuckle every time.

Big laugh on the points thing :lol:
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

Top
 Profile  
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 1:30 am 
 

Review for Negurã Bunget's Inarborat Kosmos

Quote:
NEGURA BUNGET - INARBORAT KOSMOS - 90%
Written by Matei on October 11th, 2005


One of the best and only black metal bands from Romania , strikes back ! This E.P contains four songs : a black metal part (Wordless Knowdledge , Uprising Follow) and an ambient part (Vaiet , Cint de Susur) . This is a transylvanian black metal masterpiece .


You review?... eh, not so much.

Review for Fate (Dnk)'s A Matter Of Attitude

Quote:
Give pop rock a chance. - 100%
Written by EthanismadeofMETAL on October 11th, 2005


I picked this up on vinyl (the only way to go with this kind of stuff) for two dollars. It's a pretty good album, no qualms about it. I like this kind of stuff, based on the fact that I enjoy 80s dance music along with 80s metal. I give it a 100% because I own it and I enjoyed it.


Wow, someone has "special needs".
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

Top
 Profile  
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 2:35 am 
 

Review for Lujuria's Unete Al Escuadron 69

Quote:
ramonbarrosolopez - 100%
Written by ramonbarrosolopez on October 10th, 2005


unete al escuadron 69


Was this supposed to mean something?
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

Top
 Profile  
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 2:41 am 
 

Reviews for EVO's Animal de Ciudad

Quote:
animal de ciudad - 100%
Written by agord on October 10th, 2005


lyrics of the songs of the album animal de ciudad


Is this even a real person? Fuckin a.
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

Top
 Profile  
Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 6240
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 5:15 am 
 

Stickied the topic, so if anyone sees a particularly repugnant mindmiscarriage, they can post it here (after stepping on its partially-formed skull, of course--you aren't done when you hear the crunch, but rather when you see the squirt) in the interests of science.
_________________
The bizarre lattices were all around. Sticks and bits of board nailed together in fantastic array. It should've been ridiculous. Instead it seemed oddly sinister--these inexplicable lattices spread through a wilderness bearing little evidence that man had ever passed through...

Top
 Profile  
Peregrin
Cricket Bat of Longinus

Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:09 am
Posts: 1888
Location: Denmark
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:19 am 
 

I have to ask, what distinguishes this from the similar Oven Fodder thread?
_________________
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam back my pants.

Top
 Profile  
Cynical
Lead Us into Temptation...

Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 12:16 am
Posts: 887
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:32 am 
 

This is stuff that the mods post that never made it out of the queue.
_________________
Cheeses Priced wrote:
People would rather their money on their own property than forking it over to starving kids in Africa... I guess the solution is to allow people to buy and own Africans.

Top
 Profile  
OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 11:33 am 
 

Its a sign of how large Oven Fodder would be if they didn't check it.

Top
 Profile  
Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 6240
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 7:27 pm 
 

Peregrin wrote:
I have to ask, what distinguishes this from the similar Oven Fodder thread?


If you ever see something appear in both threads, it's a sign that somebody needs a pinkslip.
_________________
The bizarre lattices were all around. Sticks and bits of board nailed together in fantastic array. It should've been ridiculous. Instead it seemed oddly sinister--these inexplicable lattices spread through a wilderness bearing little evidence that man had ever passed through...

Top
 Profile  
OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 4:14 pm 
 

speedemon86 wrote:
Reviews for EVO's Animal de Ciudad

Quote:
animal de ciudad - 100%
Written by agord on October 10th, 2005


lyrics of the songs of the album animal de ciudad


Is this even a real person? Fuckin a.


Jesus Christ. :lol:

Top
 Profile  
stickyshooZ
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD

Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2004 12:29 am
Posts: 3934
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 4:20 pm 
 

Now I see why some mods get bitter over the review queue.
_________________
Add me on Last.fm

Exkretor wrote:
The new Sadus sounds like fucking wrestling music.

Top
 Profile  
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 11:14 pm 
 

Note to writers:

Do not, do not submit 100% reviews for Nile (or any band for that matter) without stellar writings to support it, or you will look like a flaming fanboy. Also if you use the word pussy especially where it applies to listeners not so fellating of the album, I will mock you until I get carpal tunnel and might even put in a consideration to have you dursted.
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

Top
 Profile  
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:44 pm 
 

Review for Edguy's Hellfire Club

Quote:
Sepulman8 - 100%
Written by Sepulman8 on October 13th, 2005


Ovo je fucking dobar album.












by:Pujko


...Huh?!?
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

Top
 Profile  
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 3:13 pm 
 

Review for Varnacht's Rites of Baphomet

Quote:
A Good Start - 85%
Written by False_Saint on October 12th, 2005


Varnacht...this local band from westchester county is one very good raw black metal band in New York. For their first cd, it was a good head start also it is very grim. But there are some disappointments that you will encounter in listening to this cd. One is that the amplifier for the lead guitar overides the drums, so much that you can barely hear the drums at all. This is because due to the poor record company,Masquerade Records, they are signed with. This record company reduces the potential sound quality that Varnacht has to offer us . Second would be the tone of voice that Svag does, it is good but can improve more than it is now. But other than that, it's a very good start for Varnacht.


What? This review isn't all that craptacular compared to the others featured here, but I've seen excretory functions reviewed in greater detail. Like perspiration for example!
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

Top
 Profile  
OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 3:18 pm 
 

'also it is very grim'

:lol:

Top
 Profile  
PseudoGoatKill
High Priest(ess) of the Order

Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2003 11:40 pm
Posts: 2550
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 3:21 pm 
 

Another tip to reviewers. Do not type...like...this...it's...realy ir...ritating...and tells me......you have to think....too hard....about the...album.
_________________
*Insert pretentious pseudo-intellectual quote here.*

Top
 Profile  
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:04 pm 
 

PseudoGoatKill wrote:
Another tip to reviewers. Do not type...like...this...it's...realy ir...ritating...and tells me......you have to think....too hard....about the...album.
It definitely gives off the "Look ma, I can only strive to maintain definitive coherency!" vibe.
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

Top
 Profile  
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:11 pm 
 

Review for Taake's "...Doedskvad"

Quote:
Most unimpressive. - 64%
Written by HangmanOfPrague on October 12th, 2005


I must first say I was an eager one to catch this album. I thought yes another great Taake album! But I was sadly mistaken. This is just a complete repeat of Over Bjoergvin Graater Himmelrik. Continueing exactly where ...Over Bjeorgvin... left off. Most unimpressive and disapointing. A few catchy guitar riffs. And still in denial of writing actual english lyrics I see, not good at all. Part III actually did tickle my fancys but I wouldn't suggest purchaseing this album for this one song. My suggestion to you all is download it before purchase. And if you don't like it delete it.


The title - The review

Coincidence?
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

Top
 Profile  
Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 6240
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:49 pm 
 

PseudoGoatKill wrote:
Another tip to reviewers. Do not type...like...this...it's...realy ir...ritating...and tells me......you have to think....too hard....about the...album.


You can write a multi-page review in the style of a post-graduate thesis, but if I see you use "u" for "you" even ONCE, I will destroy it.
_________________
The bizarre lattices were all around. Sticks and bits of board nailed together in fantastic array. It should've been ridiculous. Instead it seemed oddly sinister--these inexplicable lattices spread through a wilderness bearing little evidence that man had ever passed through...

Top
 Profile  
Thorgrim_Honkronte
Imperius Rexxz

Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2005 4:40 pm
Posts: 2903
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:50 pm 
 

Yes, I really hate that shit too.

Top
 Profile  
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:53 pm 
 

Review for Napalm Death's Scum

Quote:
FUCKING AWESOME! - 100%
Written by THRASH666 on October 13th, 2005


This album is the best album i've ever heard. The production values suck, but that adds to the charm in my opinion. Plus the overall sound is enough to scare your mother. I mean if you played this album late at night, some one would call the cops reporting a murder. The vokills on this album are a mix of throat mutilating roars and raspy screaches, an awesome combo if you ask me. However if your looking for a band with extremely complex song structures with wonderfull solos and melodies, forget it. This band, and album in particular, are simple. 4-5 lines of politicaly charged lyrics, a basic riff and constant blast beats, maybe a solo that lasts for 7 seconds. But in no way is this bad, i love it.


Since I seriously question the existence of ND fanboys, I'll just go ahead with the theory that this guy has an extremely simple mind.
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

Top
 Profile  
OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:06 pm 
 

^

"Vokills"?

That's awesome.

Top
 Profile  
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:34 pm 
 

OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
^

"Vokills"?

That's awesome.


You've never heard that term? It's legit, though I don't hear it as often.
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

Top
 Profile  
OlympicSharpshooter
The Universal Magnetic

Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 3:24 pm
Posts: 1991
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:41 pm 
 

speedemon86 wrote:
OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
^

"Vokills"?

That's awesome.


You've never heard that term? It's legit, though I don't hear it as often.


Ayuh? Never run across it. Still rather funny to me though.

Top
 Profile  
Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 6240
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:41 pm 
 

It's written "vokillz" equally as often nowadays. That's a sign of something...but I'll leave it to your imaginations.
_________________
The bizarre lattices were all around. Sticks and bits of board nailed together in fantastic array. It should've been ridiculous. Instead it seemed oddly sinister--these inexplicable lattices spread through a wilderness bearing little evidence that man had ever passed through...

Top
 Profile  
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 6:46 pm 
 

Nightgaunt wrote:
It's written "vokillz" equally as often nowadays. That's a sign of something...but I'll leave it to your imaginations.


I haven't even seen that before. It certainly doesn't fit under the sign of evil!
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

Top
 Profile  
Visionary
Veteran

Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 3:57 pm
Posts: 2635
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 6:09 am 
 

OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
speedemon86 wrote:
OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
^

"Vokills"?

That's awesome.


You've never heard that term? It's legit, though I don't hear it as often.


Ayuh? Never run across it. Still rather funny to me though.


I have seen that in a few reviews on here. I thought it was just more engrish.
_________________
taleskiss on Kiss wrote:
They influenced MOST of the metal bands of our days, and they are not part of this site? This is unacceptable!!!
I would like to know why is that???
Because they are not considered metal? This is not fare!!!

Top
 Profile  
Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1415
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 7:04 pm 
 

Nightgaunt wrote:
It's written "vokillz" equally as often nowadays. That's a sign of something...but I'll leave it to your imaginations.


Written like that, it looks like something Insane Clown Posse or Slipknot would come up with.

Top
 Profile  
Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 6240
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 11:40 pm 
 

For Dimmu Borgir -- Puritanical Blah Blah Whatever.

Quote:
Black Metal At It's Finest.... - 100%
Written by Odio_Pieno on October 14th, 2005

The Best Produced Album They Have Done All Around Everything Comes In Clear And Does Not Sound There Older Stuff Where It Is The Same Rift Over And Over Really If You Can't Say It Is Not A God Like Album Then Don't Listen To Metal Really Cause You Have No Idea What Your Talking About And The Whole Thing That Orchestra Is Lame Or Overrated Then You Really Don't Know Your Roots The Is Great On All Aspects And It Tops There Musical Capablities.

m/ "Keep The Metal Faith Alive" - Chuck Schuldiner m/


"Rift" is probably the single worst piece of metal-related Engrish ever. Hundreds of times worse than "trash" or "solows."

My reply:

Nightgaunt wrote:
End your life. Do it painfully; do it brutally; do it messily. But most importantly....do it soon.
_________________
The bizarre lattices were all around. Sticks and bits of board nailed together in fantastic array. It should've been ridiculous. Instead it seemed oddly sinister--these inexplicable lattices spread through a wilderness bearing little evidence that man had ever passed through...

Top
 Profile  
CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 2155
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 6:08 am 
 

I just rejected one as nastily as that, but I didn't feel like putting it up for display. Only 4 in the queue now, and I've been up for 14 hours, so i'm done for the day.
_________________
Count_Venereal wrote:
It's silly to not like High on Fire.

Top
 Profile  
Bloodstone
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 11:48 am
Posts: 424
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 6:51 am 
 

Nightgaunt wrote:
For Dimmu Borgir -- Puritanical Blah Blah Whatever.

Quote:
Black Metal At It's Finest.... - 100%
Written by Odio_Pieno on October 14th, 2005

The Best Produced Album They Have Done All Around Everything Comes In Clear And Does Not Sound There Older Stuff Where It Is The Same Rift Over And Over Really If You Can't Say It Is Not A God Like Album Then Don't Listen To Metal Really Cause You Have No Idea What Your Talking About And The Whole Thing That Orchestra Is Lame Or Overrated Then You Really Don't Know Your Roots The Is Great On All Aspects And It Tops There Musical Capablities.

m/ "Keep The Metal Faith Alive" - Chuck Schuldiner m/


"Rift" is probably the single worst piece of metal-related Engrish ever. Hundreds of times worse than "trash" or "solows."

My reply:

Nightgaunt wrote:
End your life. Do it painfully; do it brutally; do it messily. But most importantly....do it soon.


:lol: :lol: :lol: MY EYES!!! :ugh:

Top
 Profile  
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 48  Next


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Back to the Encyclopaedia Metallum


Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group