http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Hour_of_Penance/The_Vile_Conception/175048/ozzeh/94847

Not that bad, but frightingly short and a bit too simple?

Next person who nominates something that even they acknowledge is "not that bad" is getting slapped with a trout.

Still, rather Amazon buyer's guide barebones review for an album with five other lengthier compositions. And it's not like that one goes against the scoring norm. 50/50 BH?!

Now this one's weird. It's not at all descriptive of the album as a whole. It's just a long "wall-of-text" track-by-track review. I'm not really sure if it's worthy of deletion, but it's a definite eye-sore and should be reworked. For example, the second paragraph could easily be broken down. Aside from the paragraph's ranting about pop punk, it starts out with a topic of "what's happening in 2004", then ends with Black Sabbath after much useless information.

I know he's got 128 accepted reviews (and trust me, they're all like this), so I'm not sure if you guys see it as irritating as I do.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/P ... eth/134154

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... 991/133043

I think this guy didn't actually listen to the song (or Mastodon in general, for that matter; see the line about them sounding like metalcore) before writing this absurdly short review.

If I had never heard Mastodon, I'd've let that slide. But apart from both bands being massively popular and from the American South, Mastodon and Lamb of God have almost nothing in common, so using that as his main (and only) point of comparison is misleading to the point of factual inaccuracy. Gone.

I was also gonna torch that Hour of Penance review because it was bad enough to get nuked anyway, it was just a bunch of vague superlatives that ultimately said nothing, but couldn't because I was on my phone at work at the time. Back on the computer today and somebody already got it, so kudos Mystery Man!

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... d666/20279

There are many other reviews that actually tell you something about the album. This guy starts with:



Really, he screams? Great, thanks. Then more detailed desciption

Musical description on that review:

- doesn't have tremolo riffs
- doesn't sound like every other black metal band
- Varg screams

Well, that was really bad...

Unless there's some positive description along with it, describing an album by what it's not is pretty useless. Maybe that's just a personal peeve of mine?

It isn't, and I was actually agreeing with you in my earlier post.

On reading it again, yeah, I don't know how I mistook your post for a counter-argument to mine... Brain-farts now and then

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... wood/19596

The musical description on this is just "Darkthrone/Absurd worship."

Bunch of crappy reviews for Vinterland's sole album:

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V ... rider/1821 - "Awsome" in the title. Nuff said.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V ... nize/12865 - the author admits he's "no expert at writing reviews" and he's not wrong.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V ... ckus/12670 - lack of proper capitalisation and some spelling errors, not much in the way of musical description.

I've gotten rid of all three of them Acrobat - they all sucked.

This thread is fuckin awesome.
Some seriously funny stuff here hahaha

Hate to be this guy, but this review here is abysmally short, I feel a little bad because it is the only review for that Torture Throne EP, but it's really short and only the last few sentences attempt to describe the music.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/T ... lt/305185/

Someone with the powers should give that one a read over.

I hate nuking reviews when they're the only one, but that literally had only one sentence worth of musical description, and half of that sentence mentioned things like harsh vocals and downtuned riffs, two "well no shit" aspects of death metal. Gone.

I will write a new one ...
Had there not been a thread once in which reviews were posted that should be redone because they lacked in quality and were the only ones for a specific album?

I don't recall one like that, but I don't suppose that sounds like the worst idea. A thread that highlights releases with only one review wherein that single review should be nuked, so as to let the original author (on the rare shot that he/she is still around) can improve it or other interested users can review it? Sounds like a Review Challenge that never really ends.

That's actually a really cool idea to build a new challenge around... It would take some time to build up a decent list of albums that fit that mold though.

Well, a lot of he early reviews would fall into this category ... except for that?

Obviously from the period when Metal Archives weren't so strict on the quality of their reviews.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... _II/42479/

I second this. All this guy writes is BLATANT trolling, no way around it. Personally, I'd nuke all his reviews.

I know not everyone always reads the forums, but come on; how can you not know we've talked about his reviews to death? Most of the stuff he does, that review especially, are just terrible, but it's been pretty clearly established that they do reach the guidelines for the site.

Yeah i felt bad reporting that one, but it was more like one of those shit Amazon reviews than anything else.
I do however have a review written for the second Torture Throne EP that I will add to the page, only issue is that it is going to be a little while. I'm not supposed to post it until Metalegion publishes their first issue.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... rone/16182 - one paragraph wonder and the album has 23 other reviews. Not really needed.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... bry76/9341 - this one, too, really ain't up to scratch.

Like Empyreal said, you can't delete reviews if there's no good reason for it. Surely his reviews are a bit annoying but they're certainly not badly written and actually they explain his idea of the album pretty well. The only reason we want them gone is sentimental value, I will never deny his reviews are annoying (because they definitely are) but that's never been a reason to delete reviews, and I can't see that changing too.

That's how I feel about everything you write. Like we need new Death reviews, hell.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Arckanum_-_Svartsyn/Kaos_Svarta_Mar_-_Skinning_the_Lambs/45338/scovrge/20009

Only concerns the Arckanum material, not sure why but there is actually a listing for Kaos svarta mar released on its own even if this were a good review. Also, this release is covered quite thoroughly now, at least for Arckanum and Svartsyn stuff.

I completely agree.

Dude, like you actually give a fuck about what I write... To each their own, if somebody wants to review something, he's absolutely free to do so and shouldn't be mocked for it even if the album in question already has like 47 reviews. It's not like that single review is totally gonna change around the general opinion of the album anyway, so if feels like reviewing a certain album, let him do whatever the fuck he desires.

And besides, I gave you absolutely no reason to turn the subject against me, if you have a problem with my reviews, feel free to send me a PM, but if you're that much of an attention seeker and only wanna brag about it on the forum so everyone can see and agree with you because you're the one with the red-colored name here, then I seriously wonder who's actually trying to be annoying...

LeMiserable confirmed for TheLiberation's long lost twin.

Who?

If you are going to submit reviews regularly and keep an eye on this forum you need to grow some thicker skin! There are some "unspoken rules" however, and one of them is that you should hone your craft before tackling the perceived "classics."

You can write whatever you want, but we're all free to bitch about it and call you out when it's boring writing. Nobody really said anything that bad to you and Diamhea's right...grow some thicker skin.

I definitely agree with that. You can say my reviews are boring and I have no problem with that as it's my style and I think it's okay myself. But I find the context and quantity of the criticism very important aswell, and dismissing the quality of a review because it's "another one to the bunch" isn't really valid imo...

They're not only boring, they have this pseudo connoisseur feel going on but what I dislike the most is your constant change of opinion and the fact you were constantly deleting your reviews. It shows that you're really insecure about your views and that you haven't grasped the way you perceive things. I bet you'll probably change your opinion about Beneath the Remains (lol you gave a better rating to their latest one) in a week or two.

Also, sure you can write another review for fucking St. Anger but everything has been said about albums with a huge number reviews, it's pretty pretentious to think anyone can add something new to the fold and almost everyone who review bands like Death or Maiden are teens who want to share what they learned on Wikipedia and Metal Sucks. Sure, feel free to do it but as a moderator, it saddens me to see such reviews when there's a lot of new (or not covered) bands to tackle. There's absolutely no rules about the number of reviews per album and just like this forum, it goes hand in hand with freedom of speech. If you want to be another obvious reviewer, be my guest but that's not how you'll earn the respect of this community.

I haven't read any of the reviews that are being talked about here so I speak in general terms - to me, unless there are factual mistakes that you need to correct, never change your review. If you are unsure of your review, don't submit it until you are sure. But in my mind, the review loses all credibility if you post something then change your opinion based on what other people think of it. A reviewer is never going to satisfy everyone. The reviewers I respect the most are the ones that not only write interesting pieces but stand behind what they write. If they rip and album or praise it and have reasons behind it and then stick to their guns, those are the people I will come back to over and over again.

Nothing turns me off faster than seeing a reviewers page and it has nothing but big name albums from big name artists. I know I can ignore them instantly.

I once thought I might write a review for Nespithe... but I quickly filed that under "fucking pointless" and left it where I found it. You better be one fuck all of a reviewer, or autothrall and looking to remain the most prolific reviewer of all time, to even attempt it(and I do not read any autothrall reviews for old stuff either)