I am going to count conversations from The Place We Do Not Speak Of in here as well. Some of these go way back. I am also going to apologize in advance, long post is long.....
<Baldev> I use "lol" because I find "haha" a bit pretentious.
Pubic hair is akin to brocolli, in that you brush it aside and keep eating.
If we had the ability to clone ourselves in the sci-fi way, (meaning that we could double ourselves without having to wait for it to be born and to grow up.) and then had sex with ourselves would that be homosexuality, or mutual masterbation?
<Nightgaunt> Time for another unholy constitutional.
<Nightgaunt> A necrotic getabout.
<Nightgaunt> A nihilistic expedition.
<PhantomOTO> A walk.
[23:00] * BlackmetalNationalist has joined #metal
[23:00] <BlackmetalNationalist> ha
[23:00] <Nightgaunt> Seig Heil!
[23:00] <BlackmetalNationalist> weres the love
[23:01] <Nightgaunt> WILKOMMEN MEIN SCHATTENBRUDER.
[23:01] <PhantomOTO> Wherever you can spell where correctly.
[23:01] <BlackmetalNationalist> im sad
[23:01] <BlackmetalNationalist> youve made me sad
[23:01] <BlackmetalNationalist> im goin to listen to slipknot now
[23:01] <PhantomOTO> *Hammers
[23:01] <Nightgaunt> LET US EAT LONG, VAGUELY PHALLIC SHAFTS OF MEAT IN CELEBRATION OF WHITE HERITAGE.
[23:02] * Morrigan changes topic to '<Nightgaunt> LET US EAT LONG, VAGUELY PHALLIC SHAFTS OF MEAT IN CELEBRATION OF WHITE HERITAGE.
[23:02] <PhantomOTO> NOTHING IS MORE MANLY THAN WRAPPING YOUR LIPS AROUND A LONG TUBE OF MEAT.
A wise man once said "Take your dick out of her mouth when you're coming, and blast it up her nose."
It's called "The Affrin."
fuck animal rights, if you believe in animal rights you don't need to be listening to metal,you fucking pussies.
I hope you get raped by a pink walrus with butterfly wings.
This one is from a long ass time ago and inspired endless jokes, only a few of which I still have:
Our Earth is dying people!
What are you going to do about it?
Have another child? Bring more waste into this world?
North America is rich as fuck. And we still have homeless people.....
We are over populated, and polluting like its going out of style. Know what that means for us, THE YOUTH, and our children?
It means a really shitty fucking future.
I suggest writing to your representatives and telling them you want a NWO.
We start by joining up the USA and Canada, and then with All of South America!
North and South America must untie! We must unite under a World wide socialist movement,
This Socialist movement will suceed unlike the otehrs because this one will involve spirituality, unlike the Russians communist movement....
Spiritual as in. Educating the Heart in truth.. As in connecting Left and right brain hemispheres to work globally.
Currently we are in a Left brain dominated world!.
I am assuming we all know the difference between left and right brain functioning? Currently our school systems are left brain dominated....When a parent teaches their child to read at a VERY young age, they are doing it at the expense of the right brain functioning!.. creating a severe inbalance!
And yes. The SELFISH OLD FUCKS, are leaving the Youth with a polluted and Dying Earth. What the fuckk are we going to do? Nothing?
I know we all hae to eat. We all have to look out forourselves.. But really. The Youth Should start organizing....
If anyone is a good website designing, webmaster....... maybe we can get something set up to help in our organization.... So we the youth can organize and support eatch other when we go up against the selfish fucks..... who dont care about our polluted dying earth. Our Inheritence!
We are facing extinction, with the oncoming WWIII, USA vs CHINA/india/russia......
The Only way we can solve the worlds major problems is if we can first UNTIE, .. The youth should be the first to do this. We should be angry as fuck at our inheritence .. At what the selfish old fucks left for us.
If you are happy about your life now, and dont care about the future. please continue doing what you are doing.... nothing....(shut the fuck up)
If you recognize the problem ahead of us. and it makes you angry..... lets start doing something about it...
...Our earth will die. But lets not make it happen faster. Lets slow it down give us some time....... prevent the nuclear holocaust..
All you christians better be patting yourself on the back right now. You believe in an amrageddon, and look, its being created by how perfectly well we have neglected our earth....You Jesus and his rapture mobile will come in the form of a nuclear bomb... ...
It is time to make a stand..............
from which came the following:
North and South America must untie!
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
The Only way we can solve the worlds major problems is if we can first UNTIE, ..
Stepping up to help fill the pornbot void?
Nah, i just wanted to get banned.
Im fucking internet addict, jumping from board to board and i need help.
There is so much wrong here that trying to say something sufficiently spiteful about it would be like trying to change the PH balance of the Atlantic Ocean by ejaculating into it.
<rexxz> so what are you all doing right now
<Lunatic_Asylum> I found my bisexual colleague's naked pictures and vomiting my work desk all over
<Lunatic_Asylum> I am serious
<Nightgaunt> Occupying space with little or no justification for doing so.
<Lunatic_Asylum> not funny
<Lunatic_Asylum> he's 52
<Nightgaunt> Do you know what a unicorn is?
<Lunatic_Asylum> oxlike animal
satan speak through leather!!! - 45%
on August 11th, 2006
since the tipic monotiny in each band underground of black metal, is not taken off of this. it remember me to Burzum when it listens to the CD, I emphasize
"My Ceremony" much but that any other subject, and I am sure that many agreed with me when they listen to it, is that the subject has a very good guitar,
that it makes resound the ears and cause that satan itself furrows the stinked out Earth of ignorant humans! jajaja good, the sound is not the best one,
but it is tipic that in bands back this is like this, but which they become attached at the beginnings serious very pleasant to be listened to another
CD of this band, in a future if they they fix the faults they could to become an important national band, often, the brutality must to take step to the
creativity to be able to bring a good product... i hope they take it into account.
The Snow Is Painted Black - 100%
Written by AgaresWarlord on August 20th, 2006
Excellent, incredible. To my to seem the best work of immortal, guitars very thrashers and a destructive battery to leave deaf person to the Satan itself. The keyboards in At The Heart of Winter give a perfect atmosphere, like that waits for the storm in a dominant silence, the acoustic parts sound and combine perfectly in each pause which they do in the subjects, is very pleasant. The voice grim of sounds very well singing those so good lyrics. It is good for knowing that when the brutality the creativity as opposed to has left of side (I have criticized much to that they forget this in his compositions, like Deicide, Cannibal Corpse or the same bands black underground), so you see prefers heavy, but even so, like black metal, I like to listen to something that of space to the mind and which notices the work of the band, even though one listens to cover, is good for listening to the detail of the band and makes sound so different from this cover that to the others, for that reason I like this cd as much, is a work very dedicated the one that did and them I am very either, used or intelligence very, with changes difficult to find that they do not stop being fast. It is a well-known course change, but not so moved away, the one that has taken here inmortal soon from the "Blizzards Beast", but has not been nothing of bad, inclusively it is thanked for, and much. The good thing of this disc is that it does not bore, as can pass like other discs of black metal, or the same inmortal (diabolical fullmoon mysticism, very bad sound (seems but one demo) and, although the compositions also have a good level, in the long run it bores) I hope the next disc is as good as this, serious one very been thankful.
I actually cook my meat with nothing but my burning hatred for vegetables.
And I never want to smoke salvia again. Jesus Christ.
Why's that? I don't care for it by any means, but I'm not outright averse to it either.
Horrible experience. I got really paranoid, mainly because one of the guys I was with bashed in a generator where we were smoking with a cross he stole off a church. I thought I kept seeing police so I went back to my dorm and put on Krieg's "The Black House," which was a bad idea. I remember thinking I was pregnant with Satan and that demon's were crawling out of my walls. I woke up 2 hours later and said this to myself, "I have no idea what's going on I just want some Skittles," and fell back asleep.
The mark of good funeral doom is whether you can get a beer from the fridge in the time between two snare hits.
Jesus "ascending to heaven" was actually me pulling him up with the tractor beam of my time machine. I then took us back to the 37th century, where the doctors of the future healed Jesus' wounds. As a joke, we went back in time to a few days after his "death" and made up some crap about reincarnation. He nows lives in my basement, where every day he turns one gram of cocaine into enough to sell to 5000 crackheads. I also no longer have to buy alcohol, as simple tap water is enough to get the party started.
<Othuum> WHAT IS MUMMIFIED AND IN A LEAKY BURLAP SACK IN THE BOTTOM OF THE TOWN RESERVOIR?
* Othuum whispers, sexily....
<droneriot> you get my meaning, mister day?
<Earthcubed> I thought it was only one though.
<nihq> ruined punchlines saga part 2
<Othuum> You need at least six or seven, or they won't sink to the bottom.
<droneriot> what matches noktorn's wit every day?
<droneriot> a dead baby
<Earthcubed> actually, I might even sig that.
<Othuum> A HEADLESS dead baby.
For Pyöveli's The New Renaissance Of Speed & Thrash Metal
MASTERPIECE OF THRASHY THRASH - 100%
Written by DET on September 21st, 2006
FUKKIN SICKNESS, THIS ALBUM IS MORE THAN JUST COPY OF 80's Thrash.
I'ts very unique and technical, solos are so fukkin hard to play AWESOME MAN!!!!! How long have they played...ok... Lyrics: REAL THRASH LYRICS, SO GOOD THAT I FUKIN SMASHED MY SELF IN THE HEAD COOL!!! Faster than Destruction, Sodom and Kreator. THIS IS REAL FINNISH-THRASH HOLYNESS. KEEP ON THRASHING THE WORLD. THRASH ATTACK!!!!! HAIL PYÖVELI 666
I love this line, because you can tell some kind of witless analogy was on his tongue, then... I FUKIN SMASHED MYSELF IN THE HEAD COOL!!!!!
For Slayer's Decade of Aggression
slayer is great live or in thestudio - 100%
Written by scenekidkiller on April 13th, 2007
slayer is the greatest thrash metal band EVER!(in my opinion) and this live album lets us know why they are the most influential band in metal history next to sabbath i wont just talk about how i love them I'll tell why. lets start with tom araya awesome bass fast and aggressive just like his band mates and a voice that rivals the best of singers. Kerry kings guitar wales and squeals loud and haunting and it sounds like an awesome giraffe being strangled by a metal demon,jeff hanaman is doing his same thing he's always doing and dave lombardos drumming is pulsing and griping
overall the album is a great addition to the slayer discography and makes for the best thrash metal compilation EVER. suggested tracks black magick hell awaits raining blood dead skin mask and jesus saves
That's a regular menagerie there.
If you thought you'd seen baffling before, take a look at this one.
For Abhor (Ita)'s In Tuo Honori Preparatum
Revelation of the Call - 1%
Written by arkam on April 1st, 2006
Why do you have come here. I didn' t know where go, I was cold, You have heated me, I was hungry, you have eated me, I was afraid, now i doesn't have some. This is my kingdom, now it is also your. I am your debtor, ask that than you want. “I wan' t your life, I desire your soul”.
He obtained it , He was to his service. Now I feel better, What can I do for you?
“Evil, the death, kills for me”.
So for him began a new, obscure era. For Him I' ll do it, always and in each place. For Him I'll do it with all my forces. Knights, Demons, sons of the night, follow me.
My reply: The Knights and the Sons of the Night are good to go, but the Demons won't be coming..."Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman" is on tonight, and it's one of the episodes where Sully doesn't wear a shirt (*ggl!).
I'ts gayer than a pack of lions making wuupy to a male horses with "DRONERIOT" branded in it's anus.
(I have absolutely no memory of making that post or what I was referring to)
Reviews for Arch Enemy's Doomsday Machine
My favorite Album! - 100%
Written by Minnako on September 20th, 2007
I can sing all the song on my guitar )) . Its a legendary album!
Try and make sense of the last sentence of this review:
Review For Heavy Load's Metal Conquest wrote:
excelent disc from the nordic lands!!! - 95%
Written by RAZORED on September 30th, 2007
When it listens to this disc for the first time, I thought that England band or something similar was an originating, but no, it was a band of Sweden, which surprised to me enough, treatment to say that the influence of the N.W.O.B.H.M is very well-known, by the other something obvious because that sensational..... movement that took place in England was but that important throughout the world We go to the disc, first You subject' sees got the power, that better form to start off! an entertained subject the letter is quite typical, but it is very good, Dark nights, the one of my favorites,the letter is romantic, but it gives a force, as if really the Nordic Gods had entrusted to give to us this to him, Heavy metal heaven, great subject the letter very in the wave of rock&roll Life giving to notice because they are different from the existing bands at that time, Hey, without a doubt, the romantic tema of the EP, but is my favorite of the disc, has an excellent atmosphere the form in which great subject sings Ragne Wahlquist, and to finalize Heathens from the north, the epic song but and the letter that but it identifies to this band, that but can be said, great form to finish this great EP.
If you say to love the Heavy Metal, you must have a copy of this originating Nordic earth jewel, or of insurance you will be destroyed by some of the Gods that protect to these extinct soldiers of the Heavy Metal!
Navy_Blue_Vicar's review of Dopesmoker by Sleep wrote:
Listening to Sleep makes you realize what a stupidly over-detailed language English is. I'm trying to collect my thoughts as I'm listening and all I can muster are shouted newspaper headlines like "BACKWARDS ECHO SQUELCH GUITAR INTRO OCCURS".
At about the half hour mark the band start to jam on what’s effectively a 1-note riff until you’re begging for something, anything to remind you what you thought music was until 30 minutes ago. The band, amazingly, relents, fuck, I’m listening right now and all I can say is
FUCKING MOLTEN GUITAR SEEPS FORTH PURE BOILING WISDOM
SURGING SOLO PINES INTO ABSOLUTE
BUBBLING GUITAR EXCURSION TAPS TO UNDERCURRENT OF TIME, PERHAPS
the beginning of Cheeses_priced's review of the Red Jewel by Tartaros wrote:
Born to dinobot parents and named after a Pokémon, one can well imagine that Tartaros mastermind Charmand Grimloch has led a hard life, and while we’re sorry for that, it has evidently had the positive side effect of improving his music by way of making him a more warped individual than those who ordinarily attempt so-called symphonic black metal. What’s so “symphonic” about symphonic black metal anyway?
1. Music. of, for, pertaining to, or having the character of a symphony or symphony orchestra.
Come on now – does your typical “symphonic black metal” band really have the character of a symphony? Perhaps a symphony that consisted solely of a string section with a part-timer on piano, and mostly just played backing chords… and we’re overlooking for a moment these bands’ rarely-more-than-incidental resemblance to black metal. I’ve got a more accurate adjective for bands like Dimmu Borgir and Cradle of Filth: gay.
gay [gey] adjective, -er, -est
1. having or showing a merry, lively mood: gay spirits; gay music.
2. bright or showy: gay colors; gay ornaments.
3. given to or abounding in social or other pleasures: a gay social season.
I do believe that would about cover it: they are merry and lively, they are bright and showy, and they are quite disgustingly social for nominally “black metal” music. Ergo, as Webster indicates above, they play gay music.
I think every one of the following Lacuna posts was written in a two month preiod and nobody noticed until a year later when someone started a forum search for a song called "viscera" :
My mother is a sociologist and would like to know...why do DMists have a thing about viscera and defecation?
Dude, rest assured I do not think that all death metal is about viscera and defecation.
Drowning in viscera - cannibal corpse
[pot kettle black] why are these goregrind/brutal death metal types obsessed with their viscera? and defecation? [/pot kettle black]
I like that. \m/
What is the difference between gravel and baby viscera?
You can't gargle with gravel.
Anyone doing anything to your viscera. In the medieval ages they had this method of torture where they would tie you down, slit your abdomen and let rats eat your intestines. Lovely...
I've been listening to lots of very violent, convulsive death metal. Decapitated, Visceral Bleeding and Eviscerated mainly.
Disappointing? What??? The Blackening fucking eviscerates!!!!
Go fuck yourself up the ass, in the brain and viscera.
Boxma, please go stab your viscera repeatedly.
And I get sick to my fucking viscera of being treated like I have a disabling condition just because I am a female.
I love the album art on Once Upon The Cross by Deicide, with the picture of Jesus with his viscera ripped out. That's pretty cool.
You might also like Visceral Bleeding's later stuff
*metaphorical dick sucking*
I love your music, it fucking eviscerates!
I've seen one movie that could. Did you see the movie Altered where those guys tied the alien to the table and cut open its body cavity and rummaged around in its (yellow!!Surprised) viscera for the transmitter?
Anything by Visceral Bleeding. Their music is so fast it fucks with your adrenalin level.
A nice, sexy suit of armour made specifically for a girl...and a long sword Big grin And I'd listen to Visceral Bleeding while fighting to the death.
That woman is a fucking ass and should be force fed her own viscera.
What I like about death metal? I like its violent, visceral, convulsive quality.
Lacuna also had a number of extremely violent posts not related to viscera that led others to believe she was a very disturbed person.
I was in a local pub wearing my old Satyricon t-shirt and there was a drunkard staring at me, so I ignored him and about ten minutes later he comes and says "hey you, you liek Satyddiconnh? I wuz on da Shatyddicons gig lazt wik in Bilbao, man, they fukkin' rulz man. Lemme show u da fotos man, I has a Satyrs autograf man, he fukin ruls, man" He was like ten minutes there, showing me his pokemans until he nearly collapsed and went to a corner to sleep, or something.
Jesus Christ, did someone drop you on your head?
How the fuck am I supposed to know?
My great grandfather on my mom's side was in the SS.
my great grandfather on my dad's side was in the Communist party. He died.
MY MOM WINS!
For Amon Amarth's "Twilight of the Thunder God"
"THEY ARE GODS" - 100%
Amon Amarth are literally vikings.
its not their genre, its them,
they dont tour countries like other fag bands.
THEY PILLAGE AND WILL PROBABLY RAPE YOU
im about to go tattoo Amon Amarth across my chest soo buy this CD and viking that shit