Encyclopaedia Metallum: The Metal Archives

Message board

* FAQ    * Register   * Login 



Reply to topic
Author Message Previous topic | Next topic
Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Wed May 15, 2013 3:30 pm 
 

Hey, dude, I'm on your side here. :) You're saying there aren't grounds enough to remove it. Looked to me that according to the point of the thread, you were right.
_________________
Bigotry is a mental health issue.

Top
 Profile  
BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Wed May 15, 2013 4:58 pm 
 

Oh, my bad :lol: I thought that was directed at me. I need to relax more *electrocutes self*
_________________
Lair of the Bastard: LATEST REVIEW: In Flames - Foregone
The Outer RIM - Uatism: The dogs bark in street slang
niix wrote:
the reason your grandmother has all those plastic sheets on her furniture is because she is probably a squirter

Top
 Profile  
TheLiberation
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 615
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Wed May 15, 2013 6:15 pm 
 

Well okay then, let's leave this :P

[I'll still secretly plan a conspiracy though but don't tell anyone]
_________________
Poisonfume wrote:
I marvel at the clusterfuck of confusion we have constructed.

Top
 Profile  
enigmatech
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:57 pm
Posts: 321
PostPosted: Sun May 19, 2013 10:53 pm 
 

What do you think about this review?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... addyZeus67

Seems to me, to be in somewhat of a "grey area". There is a good amount of musical description here (certainly more than any Kruel review), but I feel that it deserves to (at least) be looked over, because it is not actually a review, so much as a rant about how much the author hates anything post-"The Bleeding". It's not entirely surprising, considering it was authored by usernamepassword (you may remember him as the guy who called everyone who didn't agree with him "closed minded" or an "elitist", and then stated that "all black metal sucks" and that he out-right refused to listen to or check out any black metal bands that were well-received simply because they played black metal, :lol:).

Top
 Profile  
SadisticGratification
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2012 3:00 pm
Posts: 406
Location: Ireland
PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 12:47 pm 
 

I was just gonna review Thrash Zone by D.R.I there and noticed these pretty poor reviews

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... irGenocide

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... 352/Diablo

As much as I love this album and think it's a classic of the crossover genre and it pains me to try and get rid of two 100% reviews for the sake of integrity I feel they're not up to scratch to the sites standards.

Top
 Profile  
severzhavnost
Something Stupid

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 2952
Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Sun May 26, 2013 12:40 am 
 

Sorry if this is too piddly-ass a thing to complain about. This review states that Be Persecuted singer Zhou Qiang is a woman; according to his artist page that is not the case. Reviews can be removed for factual inaccuracy right?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... 99/krampus

Sad because i otherwise enjoyed the style, and agreed with the judgment, of this review.

Top
 Profile  
hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8816
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Mon May 27, 2013 5:26 am 
 

Apologies if I've complained of this same review before, but the factual incorrectness is rather gross.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/L ... /GoliathJT

1. The review complains that the album consists of chugging. This is not true, there's very little chugging going on.
2. The review complains that the majority of vocals are growls, which is technically incorrect - together with the claims that the riffing comprises mostly of chugging as well as pointing out that the guitars are downtuned (as if there was any apparent difference to the previous couple of Lunar Aurora albums), as well as some other points regarding the album's supposed dullness, give the idea that Hoagascht sounds like a Dying Fetus album
3. The review is very bare-boned

In conclusion, an extremely misleading and blatantly fallacious review.
Quote:
Most of the songs begin to sound the same after a while, similar to many slam death metal records.

Obviously, the album sounds absolutely nothing like slam death metal.
_________________
"A glimpse of light is all that it takes to illuminate the darkness."

Top
 Profile  
Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5859
Location: 717
PostPosted: Mon May 27, 2013 7:31 am 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
Quote:
Most of the songs begin to sound the same after a while, similar to many slam death metal records.



:ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh:

If this album is chugging, then all Andacht is is faster chugging.

And I'll be damned below Judas if "Sterna", my favorite song of last year, is supposed to be compared to a slam death metal song.
_________________
Stygian Narcosis - My concert photography Facebook page - Instagram too

Top
 Profile  
BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon May 27, 2013 10:24 am 
 

To be fair, he DOES call it black metal earlier in the review, he knows it isn't slam. That line was really just a comparison to a similar problem in a different scene. That said, the review IS very bare bones... Maybe a three pointer.
_________________
Lair of the Bastard: LATEST REVIEW: In Flames - Foregone
The Outer RIM - Uatism: The dogs bark in street slang
niix wrote:
the reason your grandmother has all those plastic sheets on her furniture is because she is probably a squirter

Top
 Profile  
~Guest 302292
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2012 1:03 am
Posts: 135
PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 9:39 pm 
 

This review's rating seems to be solely based on metal's future, and then it seems to be a boring track-by-track review: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... UltraBoris

Top
 Profile  
thrasherparral00666
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2009 11:13 pm
Posts: 3
Location: Mexico
PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 10:18 pm 
 

Xenokrist wrote:
This review's rating seems to be solely based on metal's future, and then it seems to be a boring track-by-track review: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... UltraBoris


Nope. It can't be deleted just because you think is boring. He explains very well why he doesn't like the album.

Also, IMO, that review it's funny and a classic review in MA.

Top
 Profile  
~Guest 302292
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2012 1:03 am
Posts: 135
PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 11:50 pm 
 

thrasherparral00666 wrote:
Xenokrist wrote:
This review's rating seems to be solely based on metal's future, and then it seems to be a boring track-by-track review: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... UltraBoris


Nope. It can't be deleted just because you think is boring. He explains very well why he doesn't like the album.

Also, IMO, that review it's funny and a classic review in MA.

Wasn't really wanting it to be deleted, I just thought I would point it out.

Top
 Profile  
Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 11:55 pm 
 

Thanks, this was an invaluable post, nobody knew Ultra Boris!
_________________
caspian about CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
?????????

Metantoine's Magickal Realm

Top
 Profile  
Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 1:03 am 
 

Clearly someone wasn't prepared for the large boner of thrash.

Top
 Profile  
OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 1:21 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/G ... gabalgabow

This is たわごと.

Quote:
Their music is influenced by last decade grind sound from U.K.: Napalm Death and Carcass... Also, in addition to that, can find another bands-like touches as the ones from Terrorizer, Nasum, or even something (but few) from Mortician

Now let's back up and see how much of that was the actual review.
Quote:
This is a real nice surprise!. It seems that underground continue producing good quality bands. Can name few as Grabnebelfürsten, Todesblei, etc...and, of course Gerbe Of Life. This is french two-member band, that when started on 1997, promise themselves to make bizarre and sick songs!....And they did it!!! Their music is influenced by last decade grind sound from U.K.: Napalm Death and Carcass. And for sure your thinking: "Another imitation more!"... But, I´m sorry but disagree with you: Gerbe Of Life have their own style and personality and during the 12 songs that here can be heard it perfectly. Also, in addition to that, can find another bands-like touches as the ones from Terrorizer, Nasum, or even something (but few) from Mortician.Even when are only two members, the band make it very good doing deadly compositions, and production is good, in agreement with the style they play.
France´s scene is giving us very good references...check them close!

That's about all there is to it - name dropping. Not to mention that more than one of those bands changed things up a bit.



Another bad one. English is crap. So many spelling mistakes.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/E ... 4/beldegir
Quote:
Because it sounded so wery aggressive and poewerfull, that I just couldn’t stay without it.

:o

The first few reviews for the album aren't very good at all, but this one is on a whole different level of suck.
_________________
gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

Top
 Profile  
OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 9:55 pm 
 

So I was looking through AA reviews and saw this: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... _Unchained

Quote:
So here we have Amon Amarth's fifth full-length Versus the World...cough, I mean Fate of Norns which sadly holds the position of being my least favorite Amon Amarth album, and arguably their least interesting.

As with Versus the World downgrading from The Crusher, Fate of Norns provides us with yet another downgrade. Everything from the production to the track listing feels kind of half-baked. The band seem so content to plow through the motions, there isn't even a shred of conviction in the performances, with the exception of Johan's vocals which are business as usual.

With the exception of some relatively cool riffs here and there I have next to no desire to listen to Fate of Norns, even now I'm sat here itching to put on With Oden On Our Side. Don't get me wrong the album isn't bad, and I'd rather listen to this than a whole host of inferior bands, and come to think about it "Valkyries Ride" is pretty damn cool (with an ever-so-slight nod to slower Morbid Angel tracks in the first verse). However, as far as Amon Amarth albums go this is a bit of a joke.

So overall, this is one for the completionists and the fanboy's. Anyone else could quite happily give this one a wide berth, as I can assure you aren't missing out on much...Okay, okay, download "Valkyries Ride" for your playlist.

A_U got really lazy with this one. He really doesn't cover the album very well. The gist of it is that the album is boring compared to the other ones. The review is like 10 sentences tops, and count how many of them actually go into describing the album. The album already has 17 other reviews, so is this one really necessary?
_________________
gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

Top
 Profile  
Anthony8660
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2012 1:23 pm
Posts: 12
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:02 am 
 

Annunaki - Throne of Chaos (100%)
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... ki/144979/

This review is really bad, regarding all aspects. It's just unrelated fanboyism, there's no arguments to defend such a high score. He poorly and barely describes the music, making horrible comparisons such as Melechesh and Dark Funeral (what the fuck, really?). All he talks about is the riffs and he simply does not have enough knowledge to write about music. You can tell he can't make a difference between pull-off and hammer-on riffs... This is lacking content and kind of frustrating compared to the record overall greatness. Lots of great stuff to talk about, the war themed lyrics, the vocals (double vocals use = quite effective on this), the melodies which remind me alot about Unanimated, the drumming, the tempo transitions, the basswork...

Yea I'm not happy about this, so i'll make a worthy review for this release. Cheers!

Quote:
Graaaaaaaaa! Ignore the badly drawn album cover this is total blackened-death-thrash dismemberment! New Jersey's Annunaki are a whirlwind riff machine, blasting their way through a simply stunning debut album. Released back in February I'm assuming this has earned them a coveted support slot for Immortal's upcoming east coast appearance.

Comprised of members from 80s thrash metallers Blood Feast this album is non-stop wall to wall balls out metal. Kicking off with the kick to the face that is the tremolo fueled 'Through Chaos', it charges into a deathly riff breakdown before storming forward, kicking down your door and raping you in the eyesocket. As if that wasn't enough a banshee wailing, 80s style solo tears off your limbs and beats you to death with them. And then 'Eucharist' kicks in. And does it again. And again. And again. 'March Of The Militia Of The Dead', 'Blunt Scalpel Extraction', by the end of the album I felt as if I'd been face fucked by Cthulhu and given a chainsaw hand job. Equal parts Dark Funeral, Coroner and even a little Melechesh this is easily one of this years classics. I'm in danger of overstating this album so I'll stop. Get it. Get it now.

Top
 Profile  
Zaku77
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Apr 29, 2007 2:44 am
Posts: 7
PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:14 am 
 

I have to agree that the Annunaki review in question is horrible. It is little more than a fanboy gushing about the music. He does a horrible job actually describing what the album has to offer. What are the riffs like? What's the drumming like? What kind of vocals does this band employ? How about lyrical themes? Any atmosphere to the music? What's the songwriting like? How about the production, where do they fall in that area? Reviews like this (be them fanboy gushing 100%s or completely uncalled for rage 10%s) just make the site look bad. How can anyone trust that this site has credible reviews for albums with shit ones like this.


While I'm at it, the review for the new Arsis album from Depersonalizationilosophy is equally as terrible. This person does 'explain' things about he album, but he does so in a way that makes me question whether he was actually listening to that album or not. His views about their previous albums also seem contradictory to his criticisms regarding this one. The review also starts off with a rant about Nuclear Blast records. This is a biased, objectively bad review that is just dragging the score down for no reason. Maybe once he has listened to it a few more times, dropped his bias against Nuclear Blast, and actually objectively analyzed the music he can come back and write a more accurate review, regardless of the score he gives it.

(Here's the link for the Arsis review)
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... onilosophy

Top
 Profile  
flexodus
Metalhead

Joined: Sun May 10, 2009 4:16 am
Posts: 2369
PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 2:41 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... odIronBeer

Barely any musical description, and what is there is kinda innacurate (at this point in Dead to Fall they had excised most of their melodic death metal influence so yammering on about it for half the review is pointless). Also he misses the fact that the album is basically a joke (as far as the lyrics go at least) but idk how important that really is.
_________________
Varth wrote:
I am getting pissed thinking about all the dumbass fake punk my sister made me listen to
LawrenceStillman wrote:
my sister does nothing but forcing me to listen to Gothenburg/melodic metalcore albums all day while refusing to listen to regular death metal

Top
 Profile  
sourlows
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun May 02, 2010 6:12 am
Posts: 213
PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 3:03 pm 
 

Both reviews for Legion of the Damned's Feel the Blade are pretty bad.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Legion_of_the_Damned/Feel_the_Blade/177550/BagABones
The first here is just an absurd way to go about writing a review. If it was done in a way that actually described the music well I could swallow it, but as it is there's barely any description and it just tries way too hard. 90% crap, 10% review.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Legion_of_the_Damned/Feel_the_Blade/177550/DGYDP
This one isn't as ridiculous but it resorts to using a pros/cons list which is pretty lazy. This guy is capable of writing decent reviews, I think he just got really lazy here. If I was to keep one of the two reviews though it'd be this one. The first is just barely a review.

Top
 Profile  
Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 12:10 am 
 

"Gore Vomit drafted a new law, creating endeavouring and pernicious brand of black metal to be financed by compulsory contributions from both production and music. The production’s claim on this demo represented the equivalent of organic music, members applied this to all forms of applicable layers including percussion, vocals and guitar. By eliminating “artificial” production, this new law was supposed to protect black metal from getting infected by commercialism by devaluation of the production deeper and deeper into the earth’s crust. It was part of the drive to improve black metal and thus promote an efficient sound.

Under the new law, members promulgated ancient and devouring names such as Slaughter Hammer and Crucifixion. The overly blasphemous and black contingent reiterated these names as well as in form of music and obvious band tittle Gore Vomit. These guys were proud dissidents and believed such lack of investment in the making of the band required an equally effective functioning music sector. Nightmare subjugated laborious incursion of growls and shrieks. It is completely random when uses these both but does it very well. Fast pace, mid space, slow pace may contain a growl and/or shriek. It may also serve as an opening and/or the closing of the section. Slaughter Hammer simply being merciless as unusual, takes his two sticks and starts to beat one part of the drum to death. Crucifixion has tuned his guitar so high to bumblebee guitar effect. He makes as much irritating noise as possible by strumming to a few extremely high ended notes. This change was denounced by commercialized brands of metal. They argued that Gore Vomit were losing were losing their credibility, specially losing their chance at making money in return for an anti-musical form of metal that could easily offend the mass audience."


So close, yet so far from being acceptable. Stranger yet, the submitter is from Ontario?

Top
 Profile  
MutantClannfear
Blank Czech

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 3624
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 8:21 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... 59/Spektrr

Only one paragraph of vague musical description without actually describing what the core of the music sounds like.
Quote:
Aesthetics aside, the album itself is a piece of shit, too. Rather than save any tiny shred of integrity the band had and make an album that they wanted to make, Matt Mcgachy churned out what is essentially a mockery of old Cryptopsy. They take everything appealing about past Cryptopsy efforts and attempt to replicate it...poorly. For example, in "Damned Draft Dodgers" (ugh), a random break with lame elevator music pops up, no doubt in an attempt to duplicate the jazz or ambient breakdowns in Once Was Not. Rather than pull this off, the whole album seems like they're trying way too hard when they attempt to do this kind of thing. The jazz breakdown at the end of Red-Skinned Scapegoats is painful. The whole album from the first to last track is extremely overproduced and has an awkward, polished vibe to it.


What I know about this album without references to Cryptopsy (assuming I've never heard them):
- They have jazz breakdowns
- They have elevator music
- It's polished

So... Cryptopsy is a smooth jazz album. Okay.

Top
 Profile  
ChildClownOutlet
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2011 4:52 pm
Posts: 1575
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 8:24 pm 
 

MutantClannfear wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Cryptopsy/Cryptopsy/346059/Spektrr

Only one paragraph of vague musical description without actually describing what the core of the music sounds like.
Quote:
Aesthetics aside, the album itself is a piece of shit, too. Rather than save any tiny shred of integrity the band had and make an album that they wanted to make, Matt Mcgachy churned out what is essentially a mockery of old Cryptopsy. They take everything appealing about past Cryptopsy efforts and attempt to replicate it...poorly. For example, in "Damned Draft Dodgers" (ugh), a random break with lame elevator music pops up, no doubt in an attempt to duplicate the jazz or ambient breakdowns in Once Was Not. Rather than pull this off, the whole album seems like they're trying way too hard when they attempt to do this kind of thing. The jazz breakdown at the end of Red-Skinned Scapegoats is painful. The whole album from the first to last track is extremely overproduced and has an awkward, polished vibe to it.


What I know about this album without references to Cryptopsy (assuming I've never heard them):
- They have jazz breakdowns
- They have elevator music
- It's polished

So... Cryptopsy is a smooth jazz album. Okay.


I was just about to talk about this, half of the time, he talked about how bad the song titles and cover art was.
_________________
I'm Greek. My body produces feta cheese.

Top
 Profile  
Metal_Detector
Reticular Modular Unit

Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:15 pm
Posts: 2176
Location: Japan
PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 8:38 pm 
 

My favorite part:

Quote:
That's right, I hate this album MORE than The Unspoken King, and here's why:

The cover art is terrible.


Yep, oven fodder if I've ever seen it.
_________________
I use lots of adverbs when I get excited.

Top
 Profile  
Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 8:52 pm 
 

Definitely not acceptable -_- NUKED.
_________________
caspian about CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
?????????

Metantoine's Magickal Realm

Top
 Profile  
BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 8:54 pm 
 

Wow, I nuked it at the same time. That has to be the first review to ever get double-nuked.

*high fives Metantoine*
_________________
Lair of the Bastard: LATEST REVIEW: In Flames - Foregone
The Outer RIM - Uatism: The dogs bark in street slang
niix wrote:
the reason your grandmother has all those plastic sheets on her furniture is because she is probably a squirter

Top
 Profile  
Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:21 pm 
 

I hope we didn't cross the streams!
_________________
caspian about CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
?????????

Metantoine's Magickal Realm

Top
 Profile  
TheLiberation
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 615
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:49 pm 
 

And if this produces a black hole that will destroy the universe? :o
_________________
Poisonfume wrote:
I marvel at the clusterfuck of confusion we have constructed.

Top
 Profile  
Helvede
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Aug 05, 2003 6:28 pm
Posts: 1674
PostPosted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 5:07 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... 29/2722/kd

^ This very old (2003) Dissection review is poorly written and does not do anything else but state the obvious, or what do you think?

Top
 Profile  
~Guest 302292
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2012 1:03 am
Posts: 135
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2013 12:07 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/R ... ationRites
Not too sure about this review being up to standards.

Top
 Profile  
Sick6Six
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:01 pm
Posts: 1987
Location: Woodstock, IL
PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 9:58 pm 
 

Wow this is one of the worst ones I've read in awhile.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Thy_Primordial/The_Crowning_Carnage/5896/
"hey some bands sound like Darkthrone or Dark Funeral or Marduk"
_________________
My Bandcamp collection

Top
 Profile  
~Guest 302292
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2012 1:03 am
Posts: 135
PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 12:00 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/N ... a_are_gods
Doesn't properly explain the music contained within.

Top
 Profile  
Panflute
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:11 am
Posts: 467
PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 7:18 am 
 

I came across this gem of a review of Akitsa's La grande infamie:

Quote:
First complaint o' mine, which, I know, sounds really stupid: couldn't the guy change his nickname? OT is for me a name lifted straight from the hood. However! Only a white guy throat could throw such horrid shrieks in the air. And when I say horrid, I don't mean crappy, I really mean horrid, disturbing, insanity-ridden. They are like GGRRRRAAAAAARRGGHH!!!! EEEEWWWWWW!!!!! BBAAARRRRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!


Quote:
And here would be my second complaint: the nail-on-blackboard shrieks complement the music, but they do it wrong. Such vocals sound literally forced, contrived, overpretentious for a band covering nationalistic, archaic, Forrest Gump topics. Were it a band such as Mutiilation, I would get the idea. A band like Akitsa, fronted by this kind of vocals, sounds like Bad Boys Blue fronted by David Yow.


Forrest Gump topics? :lol:

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... nedracusio
_________________
Black Ivory Tower - in-depth reviews

Top
 Profile  
Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 10:29 pm 
 

"The drumming is ritualistic in the highest degree and the sound is somehow muffled, reminding me of a girl with bunnywabbit shoes during a pajama party."

WTF... nuked! :lol:

Top
 Profile  
Sick6Six
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:01 pm
Posts: 1987
Location: Woodstock, IL
PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2013 10:44 am 
 

Sick6Six wrote:

I think you guys overlooked this one! it's really short and the only real musical description in the whole review is "Thy Primordial are playing the same old formula that to a new fan will seem like hell as opened its arse and shit out the sounds of Satan’s bridal chamber. Fast and furious hate imbued darkness." BTW it's a hell of an album if you've never heard it, too bad they split up a long time ago.
_________________
My Bandcamp collection

Top
 Profile  
OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2013 12:47 pm 
 

A lot gets overlooked in this thread. Things just get buried over time. I got 3 up top if you want to look at that too, Zodi.
_________________
gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

Top
 Profile  
Marag
Veteran

Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:55 pm
Posts: 2773
PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2013 10:10 pm 
 

Zodijackyl wrote:
"The drumming is ritualistic in the highest degree and the sound is somehow muffled, reminding me of a girl with bunnywabbit shoes during a pajama party."

WTF... nuked! :lol:

Wasn't this Akitsa review by cinedracusio at least a few years old?
It was a shit review anyway and I'm glad it was nuked!

Top
 Profile  
DarthVenom
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2003 10:56 am
Posts: 673
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 8:54 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... saint_doug

Talk about a tilted signal-to-noise ratio. Seven paragraphs, one of which brokers almost-adequate musical description, and five of which just compose an inexplicable obscene tirade against people who don't like Load/Reload (and metal fans in general), and blaming said dislikers personally for metal not being as mainstream as Beiber.

And I'm not even a Load hater, I'm squarely in the "meh, it's ok" camp. But this review is just... o_O

Top
 Profile  
hells_unicorn
Veteran

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 3053
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 9:18 pm 
 

DarthVenom wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Metallica/Load/2638/saint_doug

Talk about a tilted signal-to-noise ratio. Seven paragraphs, one of which brokers almost-adequate musical description, and five of which just compose an inexplicable obscene tirade against people who don't like Load/Reload (and metal fans in general), and blaming said dislikers personally for metal not being as mainstream as Beiber.

And I'm not even a Load hater, I'm squarely in the "meh, it's ok" camp. But this review is just... o_O


Yeah, that was probably the worst review I've read this year. I don't think even my most defensive power metal reviews from my first year as a reviewer were this whiny and reaching. The part yammering about metal geeks hating on pop culture is laughable. I'm not sure about everyone else, but I stopped following anything relating to pop culture soon after Creed was considered a viable rock band.

P.S. - I'm not sure if this review quite qualifies as ovenfodder, but there are at least a couple of metal genres with capital letters in it.
_________________
My music:
Ominous Glory Spotify
Ominous Glory YouTube
Ominous Glory Facebook

My reviews.

R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio (July 14, 1942 - May 16, 2010)

Top
 Profile  
Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35140
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 9:48 pm 
 

"Purist metal geeks are the smallest, most insignificant demographic in the music business"

I really, REALLY don't think that's true. Especially not in the 2010s.

"your type isn't the type to allow themselves to emotionally connect to lyrics or songs about REAL LIFE."

Hahaha, holy shit, so no metal from the 70s and 80s has anything connecting to 'real life'? Metallica's Load is just the be all end all of that type of music? Jesus fuck.
_________________
Cinema Freaks latest reviews: Black Roses
Fictional Works - if you hated my reviews over the years then pay me back by reviewing my own stuff
Official Website

Top
 Profile  
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic Go to page Previous  1 ... 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195 ... 239  Next


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 7 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

  Print view
Jump to:  

Back to the Encyclopaedia Metallum


Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group