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slayrrr666
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2011 4:47 pm
Posts: 193
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 1:06 pm 
 

So, here's the new version of the review, is this acceptable enough:

The fourteenth offering from Finnish power metal heroes Stratovarius, “Nemesis” could very well be the crowning opus of their recent output and is certainly on par with their glory days in the mid-90s and is surely the strongest of the post-Tolkki albums the group’s released under their newfound style of energetic yet melodic power metal.

Opening track ‘Abandon’ starts off with some frenetic drumming that gives way to a rousing series of back-and-forth jabs as the bands’ melodic sound, rolling grooves and Timo Koltipelto’s soaring vocals swirl together in creating a rocking opener that sounds as good as anything from their past and makes an instant winner. The next track, appropriate first single ‘Unbreakable’ is a rather fine up-tempo yet more melodic track with some exceptional vocal melodies and a rather rocking pace that seems to showcase the band’s newfound melodic power metal style really nicely rather than the classy symphonic approach of the past, even though it does show signs of bringing back their olden days with a nice change-up into a more traditional fade-out at the end. Next track, ‘Stand My Ground’ is a little weak, with the band tending to revert to the uninspired melodic metal, devoid of the power they played in Tolkki’s last years, and despite the grand choruses and a potentially intriguing riff-work along the solo section, it feels a little weak. This is thankfully rectified by the next two tracks, album highlight ‘Halcyon Days’ and ‘Fantasy’; the former being the band’s fastest work on the whole album with an awe-inspiring intro that thrashes away with joyful abandon throughout which creates a really epic feeling and is the most traditional/old-school symphonic power metal Stratovarius-like song on the whole album. The latter, meanwhile, is a melodic mid-tempo rager that thankfully never strays into the ballad medium the way it starts but gets into a lot quicker tempo when the band’s backing vocals kick in to create another winner in this new-found melodic power metal style they’ve employed lately.

The second half starts off strong with ‘Out of the Fog,’ a rocking mid-tempo and occasionally quicker-paced offering that sees the band really turning this more relaxed melodic power metal style into their own with a rather impressive and overall strong track that ranks with the albums’ best works including a frenetic drum pattern, some inspired riff-work and those soaring vocals they’ve honed effectively over the years, effectively giving this three strong tracks in a row. ‘Castles in the Air’ is an even-more relaxed song and almost feels as though it should be a ballad but is a bit too fast-paced, especially with the band’s backing vocals during the chorus giving off a more epic feel than most ballads and the greater degree of electronic instrumentation being another large clue, yet this doesn’t change the song being overall impressive if a little lacking compared to what came before it. Two similar relaxing, laid-back songs follow, with ‘Dragons’ being the better of the two by the grandiose imagery of the riff-work coming off as slightly more impressive and it’s solo a lot more imposing with the backing vocals giving it a majestic vibe out of the laid-back tempo that’s not found elsewhere on the album and creates an overall strong track. The true ballad ‘If the Story is Over’ is the same story heard over and over in the genre’s ballads, so if you’re into that kind of song it’s quite enjoyable while for those into the more rocking tunes, it’ll feel quite lame and cheesy with its use of strings and laid-back feelings of sentimentality. Thankfully, the title track closes things out with an impressive return to the more rocking vibe of the rest of the album and has a strong, up-tempo vibe that gives off an epic feel eerily similar to that of their old material and ends the album on a strong note.

There’s not a whole lot here to dislike with this release, as it’s consistent, well-written with numerous strong hooks, leads and riffs, and contains a strong production job that gives everyone a great performance while maintaining the closest sound and feel yet to the classy power metal of their preceding albums. About the only flaw to be found within the work is the keyboards which are kept low and never really given a chance to shine as that keeps the band from reaching the symphonic grandiosity they performed, yet this also serves well with their more relaxed approach recently and definitely has some good points about it as the guitars shimmering is consistently enjoyable, the drumming is forceful without overpowering everything and the vocals shine exactly as they did at their brightest peak in the past. While not quite at the level of their best works, this is still one of their better records and is clearly the best thing they’ve done without Timo Tolkki in the group, and ranks among the years’ top overall albums in the genre so far.
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enigmatech wrote:
I don't consider Portal to be a death metal band, because I haven't heard their albums, and I'm not interested in their music


i don't consider gordon ramsay to be a chef, because i haven't been to his restaurants, and i'm not interested in his food

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9663
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 2:11 am 
 

Hmm, I know you're dedicated to putting your review on this site, and that's commendable enough since you do take constructive criticism to rewrite it, but this is just my personal input to this. You review is a track-by-track review that's just doing a directionless summary of one song to the next. There's description, and let's just say it can be approached better. You've done it already - it's your conclusion, and I very much agree that it's a fantastic album (my favorite of the last three). So I don't know, there's substance and there isn't. Take that as you will.

Also, your sentences are very, very long.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:39 am 
 

slayrrr666, I have the hardest time reading your work. The sentences just don't have to be that long. Comparisons to a couple of mod's writing are coming to mind: Nightgaunt has a broad vocabulary and while his sentences can technically be quite long, they're generally perfectly clear. failsafeman tends to use fewer words to explain himself, but his prose never feels underweight. They both efficiently wield economy of language with idiosyncratic styles.

If I'd written those last three sentences in your style it might have gone something like this:
"There are two mods, Nightgaunt and failsafeman, whose writing styles could be used to compare the review I'm looking at and both of them do the work quite well, so it should be easy to see how much can be learned from them as they not only have the experience with the material to bring depth, incisiveness, emotional and technical interpretation, and humor where applicable, but they also have skill with crafting the English language to be both effective communicators and make their points, as well as giving the reader a clear understanding that their cases for their opinions are well established, but they're also very easy to read and also comprehend quickly. The former uses a fairly high number of parenthetical asides along with a patient style that can take a while to unfold, which in the hands of a clumsy writer could end up making an otherwise perfectly decent paragraph look like a pile of crescent-sliced garbage, and the latter writes in a generally pared down style that in the hands of a less experienced writer would sound soulless, but for him it sounds rich, supported, and accurate."

If you take my silly (though not particularly exaggerated) illustration as an example, you can see that all the pertinent thoughts are there, but they're in a tangled pile. It isn't that you're saying the wrong things, you're just tangenting like hell when you could just take the time to organize the paragraph properly. Then there are glaring grammatical fails like starting a sentence with "Next track".

Simplify, clarify, and distill your thoughts. It seems that you're pretty invested in writing these things, so I recommend you buy a copy of Strunk and White's The Element of Style and really take it seriously. While you're waiting for it to arrive, read more reviews and see what you can pick out on your own. DON'T COPY OTHER PEOPLE (least of all those two because their styles are mature, and lesser writers would butcher them). You need to remain yourself with your own opinions and your own points of view. You just need to be clear about them.

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Homer_Nava
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2012 1:19 am
Posts: 5
Location: Mexico
PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 10:03 pm 
 

I have some problems with grammar issues, I'm here to ask for help, I have three reviews rejected.
Interesting forum!

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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2785
Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 10:15 pm 
 

Post a review or two of yours here and we'll see how we can help. :)
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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4794
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 10:24 pm 
 

Yes, please do post some reviews, Homer_Nava. I rejected a few of your reviews - you do a good job of talking about the music but your English needs a bit of work, which we would be glad to help you with.

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Woolie_Wool
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:56 pm
Posts: 1629
Location: Far beyond the prophecy of tyrant guardians
PostPosted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 1:33 am 
 

Finally got around to rewriting my ancient Reign in Blood review. How is this?

Quote:
You keep pushing faster, but where are you going? 55%

This revision of my old review of Reign in Blood has been a long time coming. I did not and still do not particularly enjoy this album, but considering that I'm pushing an unpopular opinion on a much-beloved thrash metal album, I think it deserves more than the old, naive, frankly somewhat embarrassing review I wrote for it so many years ago, especially considering that I've more recently listened to the three other classic Slayer albums (Hell Awaits, South of Heaven, and Seasons in the Abyss) and the greatness of those three albums (especially Hell Awaits) brings the shortcomings of this one into sharper focus.

Rumor has it that part of the reason this album sounds like it does is because the members of Slayer had been listening to a lot of Metallica and Megadeth and were bored by the repetition of guitar riffs in those bands' work. Indeed, in some ways the songwriting on this album is like a mirror image of Master of Puppets--whereas Master of Puppets endlessly belabors its limited set of riffs, throwing in countless superfluous bridges and transitions that do little besides pad out the running length and test the listener's patience, Reign in Blood feels like musical ADHD, bouncing seemingly at random from riff to riff and section to section with little effort made at shaping these collections of violent riffs into actual songs. The riffs are strong on an individual level, but there's no songwriting context to put them in.

Compounding the problem is the relentless uniformity of the songwriting--the tempo seems to be essentially the same ~220 beats per minute through most of the album's running length, and without the variations in tempo you encounter in better thrash albums (including the other '80s Slayer albums), the hyperfast parts lose meaning and impact. Aside from the first and last songs (more on them later), the tracks run together with the transition between (for example) "Altar of Sacrifice" and "Jesus Saves" almost unnoticeable. Nothing stands out of the amorphous pile of riffs, and they just sail through one ear and out the other, even if they might individually be good riffs when pulled apart from their nearly identical kin.

Another issue is the production. The sound on Hell Awaits was just about perfect for the sort of music Slayer play--it was clear and sharp but also raw, with an amazing cavernous reverb to the rhythm section that enhanced the album's malevolent atmosphere. With this album, they enlisted the services of the eminently overrated Rick Rubin, who has brought the best technical recording techniques 1986 money could buy, but in the process stripped away the haunting ambience that made Hell Awaits so compelling. Dave Lombardo sounds like his drums are made of plastic, the bass has been sent to the concentration camp, and the guitars are oversaturated with distortion and almost like a precursor to the hideous "noise blaster" sound that would plague albums from the mid-'90s onwards.

Speaking of Dave Lombardo, he's a truly elite drumming talent but this album does not show it at all. Gone are the rumbling, threatening double bass runs, incredibly forceful snare flams, and tricky drum fills of his earlier performances, and he mostly sticks to a single "polka" beat for the fast sections and generic backbeats for the rare slower section, with fills almost absent. Kerry King likewise seems to be phoning it in with his leads, hitting notes seemingly at random without any regard for coherent phrasing while apparently unable to distinguish between his whammy bar and his penis. He jerks that thing so hard you'd expect it to smack him in the face. Meanwhile, Tom Araya is at the start of his slow slide towards the hilarious Angry Yelling Man persona he now exhibits, his vocal delivery reduced to a monotone caricature and sounding more like an ill-trained dog barking at cars than the demonic snarling of Hell Awaits or even the way he sounded on Seasons, where he at least tried to change things up a little.

However, when this album gets its shit together, it completely destroys. Exhibit A is opener "Angel of Death", which is probably 80% of the reason why most people like this album to begin with. It is by far the longest and most developed song on the album (indeed, the only fully realized song on the album), and it is the one Slayer cooker to rule them all, charging out of the gate on the back of a truly bloodcurdling shriek and a megalithic set of thrash riffs, monstrously heavy yet carefully structured. This song does everything right, from the way riffs are developed instead of played a couple of times and cast aside, Dave Lombardo using his whole kit instead of just the snare and bass, and the thrash break. The thrash break. Holy Mosh Jesus, this one has to be heard to be believed. The song lurches into a churning rock-crusher riff that redirects the high-speed fury of the first half of the song into pure sledge, stomping inexorably forwards as Tom Araya spits out the lyrics with the most vigor he has anywhere on the album, the tension building and building and building as the riff becomes more elaborate and the beat becomes more insistent before suddenly blasting to warp speed again for the solo section and grand finale. Pacing, development, tension and release--this song has all the elements the rest of the album lacks, and is so good Slayer recycled it wholesale for "War Ensemble" off of Seasons in the Abyss and even the retread was an absolute motherfucker of a song.

The second highlight is "Raining Blood", which is paradoxically even more of a fragment than the songs that came before it but simultaneously more interesting. It sounds like an unfinished start to a 7-8 minute epic, with a moody atmospheric intro gradually building into a pummeling mosh riff, the song thereafter deftly transitioning between fast and slow, ratcheting the excitement higher and higher until...it stops. It doesn't really end, but just abruptly cuts off for no apparent reason, leaving you dazzled by what you just heard but frustrated and wondering what could have been, if they actually bothered to write the whole song. It's almost like a summation of the whole album, really--a lot of good ideas and potential wasted by a lack of focus, furiously raging at nothing in particular, expending its formidable energy in vain before collapsing from exhaustion all too soon.

Fortunately, Slayer seemed to have learned from this album, first creating its antithesis in the slow-burning, brooding South of Heaven, and then a synthesis in Seasons of the Abyss, which, while marred by a slight shift towards commercialism, comes the closest of any of the albums with Rick Rubin to embodying all of Slayer's strengths. But that's another story for another time...

Killer tracks: "Angel of Death", "Raining Blood"
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Grave_Wyrm
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 2043
Location: In the Open Sea
PostPosted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 12:44 pm 
 

Woolie_Wool: Tighten it up. It's a considerable improvement on the original, but it's somewhat meandering. The first paragraph can basically go apart from being an introduction. Don't apologize, just get into it. Write for the first-time reader, but it's worth remembering that this is one in a long list of reviews. Luckily, it's an example of a review that doesn't have to be long to be substantial. You've had time to think about it, and the developments are obvious. Tighten it up and leave it a leaner examination of why you find this album so lackluster compared to the pile of other fairly high scores. Praise of the worthy portions is always good for comparison to the parts that don't work for you, so don't trim that too much while you're trimming fat. Nice step up, though.

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slayrrr666
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2011 4:47 pm
Posts: 193
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 12:57 pm 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
Hmm, I know you're dedicated to putting your review on this site, and that's commendable enough since you do take constructive criticism to rewrite it, but this is just my personal input to this. You review is a track-by-track review that's just doing a directionless summary of one song to the next. There's description, and let's just say it can be approached better. You've done it already - it's your conclusion, and I very much agree that it's a fantastic album (my favorite of the last three). So I don't know, there's substance and there isn't. Take that as you will.

Also, your sentences are very, very long.


Grave_Wyrm wrote:
slayrrr666, I have the hardest time reading your work. The sentences just don't have to be that long. Comparisons to a couple of mod's writing are coming to mind: Nightgaunt has a broad vocabulary and while his sentences can technically be quite long, they're generally perfectly clear. failsafeman tends to use fewer words to explain himself, but his prose never feels underweight. They both efficiently wield economy of language with idiosyncratic styles.

If I'd written those last three sentences in your style it might have gone something like this:
"There are two mods, Nightgaunt and failsafeman, whose writing styles could be used to compare the review I'm looking at and both of them do the work quite well, so it should be easy to see how much can be learned from them as they not only have the experience with the material to bring depth, incisiveness, emotional and technical interpretation, and humor where applicable, but they also have skill with crafting the English language to be both effective communicators and make their points, as well as giving the reader a clear understanding that their cases for their opinions are well established, but they're also very easy to read and also comprehend quickly. The former uses a fairly high number of parenthetical asides along with a patient style that can take a while to unfold, which in the hands of a clumsy writer could end up making an otherwise perfectly decent paragraph look like a pile of crescent-sliced garbage, and the latter writes in a generally pared down style that in the hands of a less experienced writer would sound soulless, but for him it sounds rich, supported, and accurate."

If you take my silly (though not particularly exaggerated) illustration as an example, you can see that all the pertinent thoughts are there, but they're in a tangled pile. It isn't that you're saying the wrong things, you're just tangenting like hell when you could just take the time to organize the paragraph properly. Then there are glaring grammatical fails like starting a sentence with "Next track".

Simplify, clarify, and distill your thoughts. It seems that you're pretty invested in writing these things, so I recommend you buy a copy of Strunk and White's The Element of Style and really take it seriously. While you're waiting for it to arrive, read more reviews and see what you can pick out on your own. DON'T COPY OTHER PEOPLE (least of all those two because their styles are mature, and lesser writers would butcher them). You need to remain yourself with your own opinions and your own points of view. You just need to be clear about them.


Okay, sorry for the late reply here (had to take a break from this since I was getting frustrated to the point of cursing someone out for not accepting this) and employing the tactic of taking a break and letting your mind clear, then coming back to it used for full effect, here's the newest re-write:

The fourteenth offering from Finnish power metal heroes Stratovarius, “Nemesis” could very well be the crowning opus of their recent output and is certainly on par with their glory days in the mid-90s and is surely the strongest of the post-Tolkki albums the group’s released under their newfound style of energetic yet melodic power metal.

The first half of the album is assuredly the albums best, with a collection of strong, diverse tracks that are rather enjoyable. Opener ‘Abandon’ swirls together with back-and-forth melodic jabs, technically-frenetic drumming, rolling grooves and Timo Koltipelto’s soaring vocals in creating a rocking opener that sounds as warm and uplifting as any lead-off track from their past and makes an instant winner. The next track, appropriate first single ‘Unbreakable’ is a rather fine up-tempo yet more melodic track with some exceptional vocal melodies and a rather rocking pace that showcases the band’s newfound melodic power metal style really nicely rather than the classy symphonic approach of the past. Next track, ‘Stand My Ground’ is a little weak as the band reverts to the uninspired melodic metal they played in Tolkki’s last years, and despite the grand choruses and potentially intriguing riff-work along the solo section, it feels a bit boring. This is thankfully rectified by the next two tracks, album highlights ‘Halcyon Days’ and ‘Fantasy.’ ‘Halcyon’ is the band’s fastest work on the whole album with an awe-inspiring intro that thrashes away with joyful abandon throughout which creates a really epic feeling and is their most traditional/old-school symphonic power metal-ish song on the whole album. ‘Fantasy’, meanwhile, is a melodic mid-tempo rager that thankfully never strays into the ballad medium the way it starts but gets into a quicker tempo when the band’s backing vocals kick in to create another winner in this new-found melodic power metal style.

The second half starts off just as strong but quickly falters, not due to the quality of the material but rather the fact that there's not the diversity among the tracks as the first half. The songs are just as good, but too many of them are stylistically similar to each other rather than the more wide-spread collection of songs that came before. That is hard to realize, though, as it starts off strong with ‘Out of the Fog,’ a rocking mid-tempo offering that sees the band really turning this more relaxed melodic power metal style into their own with a frenetic drum pattern, some inspired riff-work and those soaring vocals they’ve honed to perfection over the years. These elements create a rather impressive and overall strong track that ranks with the albums’ best works and gives the album three strong tracks in a row. It starts to turn around with ‘Castles in the Air,’ which is an even-more relaxed song and almost feels as though it could be a ballad but is a bit too fast-paced. When the band’s backing vocals during the chorus kick in, they give off a more epic feel than most ballads and the greater degree of electronic instrumentation used being another large clue, this doesn’t change the song being overall impressive if a little lacking compared to what came before it due to the more relaxed pace. Two more similar relaxing, laid-back songs follow, with ‘Dragons’ being the better of the two by the grandiose imagery of the riff-work coming off as slightly more impressive and it’s solo a lot more imposing with the backing vocals giving it a majestic vibe that’s not found elsewhere on the album and creates an overall strong track. The true ballad ‘If the Story is Over’ is the same story heard over and over in the genre’s ballads, so if you’re into that kind of song it’s quite enjoyable while for those into the more rocking tunes, it’ll feel quite lame and cheesy with its use of strings, laid-back pace and feelings of sentimentality. Thankfully, the title track closes things out with an impressive return to the more rocking vibe of the rest of the album and has a strong, up-tempo vibe that gives off an epic feel eerily similar to that of their old material and ends the album on a strong note.

There’s not a whole lot to dislike with this release, as it’s consistent, well-written with numerous strong hooks, leads and riffs, and contains a strong production job that gives everyone a great performance while maintaining the closest sound and feel yet to the classy power metal of their preceding albums. About the only flaw to be found within the work is the keyboards which are kept low and never really given a chance to shine as that keeps the band from reaching the symphonic grandiosity they performed, yet this also serves well with their more relaxed approach recently and definitely has some good points about it as the guitars shimmering is consistently enjoyable, the drumming is forceful without overpowering everything and the vocals shine exactly as they did at their brightest peak in the past. While not quite at the level of their best works, this is still one of their better records and is clearly the best thing they’ve done without Timo Tolkki in the group, and ranks among the years’ top overall albums in the genre so far.
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joppek wrote:
enigmatech wrote:
I don't consider Portal to be a death metal band, because I haven't heard their albums, and I'm not interested in their music


i don't consider gordon ramsay to be a chef, because i haven't been to his restaurants, and i'm not interested in his food

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4794
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 3:51 pm 
 

OK, track-by-track reviews are not preferable, but it seems like you have enough musical description in there, you can resubmit it. In the future, please talk about the album as a whole, not individual tracks. You could have written that review much more efficiently.

Thanks for getting feedback and reworking that, being willing to seek feedback and improve is very important, but few do so.

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slayrrr666
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2011 4:47 pm
Posts: 193
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 4:27 pm 
 

Okay, I'll resubmit it again. Thanks for the help and the suggestions.
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joppek wrote:
enigmatech wrote:
I don't consider Portal to be a death metal band, because I haven't heard their albums, and I'm not interested in their music


i don't consider gordon ramsay to be a chef, because i haven't been to his restaurants, and i'm not interested in his food

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TheLiberation
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 608
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 7:11 pm 
 

Hi, just wanted to ask for some advice - my yesterday's review of Anathema's Weather Systems is the first one I've written in three years; I'm quite satisfied with it, but I'm pretty sure there's plenty of room for improvement, and I'd be very grateful to hear any feedback on this one - thanks in advance for any opinions.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... Liberation
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Pollinosis
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:45 am
Posts: 8
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 11:22 pm 
 

Can the following rejected review be salvaged without a major rewrite? I'd love to expand on what I've stated, but I find I'm at a loss for words. I'm not sure what to do. Suggestions would be welcome.

Quote:
Each side of this tape release contains a pair of short instrumental intros and outros. Though these do a serviceable job of setting the tone and easing the listener in and out of the music, they will likely be skipped upon repeated listens. The real meat of this release is contained in the other seven tracks.

The typical black metal mid-range rasp is employed to great effect in these songs, along with occasional well-executed chanted portions. It is the drum and guitar work that truly shines here though. The drumming is fast, upbeat, and repetitive which gives the songs a tribal quality at times. The guitar work is similarly fast, repetitive, and, like the drums, quite catchy. The instruments are enfolded in a rough but unabrasive production which gives the songs a primitive yet welcoming quality. The fact that none of the instruments find themselves buried in the mix help in this regard. Simplicity and good use of repetition give a hypnotic quality to the music which, along with short track length, makes repeated listens an inviting proposition.

The catchy and memorable songs found on this refreshing album make the beautiful physical release well-worth tracking down.

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4794
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 12:03 am 
 

Pollinosis wrote:
Can the following rejected review be salvaged without a major rewrite? I'd love to expand on what I've stated, but I find I'm at a loss for words. I'm not sure what to do. Suggestions would be welcome.

Quote:
Each side of this tape release contains a pair of short instrumental intros and outros. Though these do a serviceable job of setting the tone and easing the listener in and out of the music, they will likely be skipped upon repeated listens. The real meat of this release is contained in the other seven tracks.

The typical black metal mid-range rasp is employed to great effect in these songs, along with occasional well-executed chanted portions. It is the drum and guitar work that truly shines here though. The drumming is fast, upbeat, and repetitive which gives the songs a tribal quality at times. The guitar work is similarly fast, repetitive, and, like the drums, quite catchy. The instruments are enfolded in a rough but unabrasive production which gives the songs a primitive yet welcoming quality. The fact that none of the instruments find themselves buried in the mix help in this regard. Simplicity and good use of repetition give a hypnotic quality to the music which, along with short track length, makes repeated listens an inviting proposition.

The catchy and memorable songs found on this refreshing album make the beautiful physical release well-worth tracking down.


Certainly salvageable, but you're going to need to go more in depth with the analysis of the music. Elaborate on that middle paragraph and see how well you can describe them.

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TheLiberation
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:56 pm
Posts: 608
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 9:30 am 
 

I think it would be also worth noting the tracks which you think stand out in one way or another (the best or the most unusual), and possibly extending the introduction (with some general information about the album and release - this may help get people interested if they had never heard of it) and ending (with a bit longer summary/conclusion). This will make the review a lot more detailed, and I think it's really worth developing because imo your writing style is pretty interesting and does a good job at describing the music.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 2043
Location: In the Open Sea
PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 12:17 pm 
 

Pollinosis wrote:
Can the following rejected review be salvaged without a major rewrite?

It's skeletal, so as you add mass give it more content, don't just make it longer.

Even though I know what black metal can/does sound like, your review doesn't give me enough of a sense of what this tape sounds like. Comparisons or likenesses with other bands can be tiresome if overused, but if accurate, they're really helpful. Stock comparisons won't work, of course (unless the thing actually DOES sound like Darkthrone), so just use your own experience with black metal regardless of how extensive. Obviously comparisons aren't everything. It's clear you like it, and as a reader I'd like to know more about why.


TheLiberation wrote:
yesterday's review of Anathema's Weather Systems is the first one I've written in three years; I'm quite satisfied with it, but I'm pretty sure there's plenty of room for improvement, and I'd be very grateful to hear any feedback on this one.

Didn't have any qualms with it, really. You clearly did your homework, etc. Maybe with that much text, you turn an eye toward thought progression. In longer reviews it's important to not read like you're rushing. Too many clauses get shoehorned in and sentences can get confusing. But that's only me being picky. Other than that easily manageable general note, I only noticed a couple cosmetic things: the first sentence was awkward, and I'd probably trim a few words here and there to keep the sentences running efficiently. Over all it was fine, if not the smoothest read.


Last edited by Grave_Wyrm on Wed Apr 17, 2013 12:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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TheLiberation
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:56 pm
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Location: Poland
PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 3:56 pm 
 

Ok, thanks a lot, I'll work on that. I know it might seem a little chaotic at times, but I just tried to make it pass smoothly between different things (song descriptions/vocals/instrumentation/etc.), as my old reviews tended to have this very obvious division, which I think was quite boring. Though I probably went slightly overkill at times, and my infamous complex sentences do need a bit more control over them. :lol: Thanks.
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Sick6Six
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:01 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 9:41 am 
 

So I wrote my first 3 reviews and have maybe 10 other albums I would like to review... Looking for some feedback or comments on my first 3 to help improve the ones I will write in the future. I have been trying to write about how the music and instruments sound as well as a bit of creative writing to summarize the overall sound of the albums. With writing black metal reviews it's probably impossible to not repeat words like cold, harsh, raw, atmospheric, melodic, and so on. Anyway here's links to my 3 reviews:

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Barshasketh/Sitra_Achra/356061/Sick6Six
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Pagan_Hellfire/On_the_Path_to_Triumph/371030/Sick6Six
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Flagellant/Maledictum/365716/Sick6Six

Thanks in advance if you take the time to read them and give some feedback
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Arbeit
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Apr 03, 2013 1:27 am
Posts: 2
Location: Malaysia
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:26 am 
 

I recently submitted a review for the band Bode Preto and it was accepted, here the email of confirmation.

Thank you Arbeit for your contribution to the Encyclopaedia Metallum!

You have successfully added a review for Bode Preto - Inverted Blood to the database.
We hope that you keep contributing to the Encyclopaedia Metallum in the future, to help it become the best Web resource for true heavy metal!
Sincerely,
Napero, Encyclopaedia Metallum

Later I decided to re-edit the review only slightly but it was rejected. The reason given was this

Second rejection. I fixed a few formatting issues, but there are still some obvious issues with punctuation and spacing that need to be fixed.

If you want tips to improve your review, please visit the appropriate thread in the Reviews sub-forum. Do not e-mail moderators directly about this.

Sincerely,
- Zodijackyl, Encyclopaedia Metallum

So I diligently checked for punctuation, used a spell checker software and submitted the review which you can read here

Bode Preto meaning black goat in Portuguese is a death metal band that hails from Teresina, Brazil. The band is made up by two individuals, Josh S on vocals/guitars and Adelson Souza on drums. “Inverted Blood” is their debut album that was released in November 2012. Previously, Bode Preto had released the "Dark Night" EP in 2010. This version of Bode Preto was a trio with only Josh S remaining from the ashes of that line up. The inclusion of Adelson Souza has clearly injected a vicious spirit into the music of Bode Preto, as the music on "Inverted Blood" shows a vast improvement in every aspect imaginable compared to the "Dark Night" EP.

Bode Preto plays a style of death metal that seems hard to categorize at first. This is because you can feel the spirits of black, death, thrash, and hardcore punk running beneath their music. They have managed to achieve something remarkable in "Inverted Blood" by taking all the essences from the various genres as a foundation, and then build something on it that is truly unique, fresh, and exciting. This is something that the listener can easily name as a Bode Preto style.

The whole album clocks in less than 26 minutes, but to judge the album solely on this matter is a grave mistake. This album is a masterpiece in extreme metal that makes its mark the moment the music assaults your senses. The album starts with the demonic spoken words on "Anuncicao" telling the listener to pay attention to the foreboding music that shall soon pummel you into a state of pure head banging bliss. Then with a simple four count snare beat, the title track rips into a momentum that propels this album into metal greatness. There is no sign of slowing down the moment the title track flies off right in your face. Track after track, the music flows like molten lava being spewed up by that destructive force of nature named Bode Preto. This album possesses a menacing spirit that will terrorize the listener into total submission.

The level of intensity that is achieved by the duo is simply amazing. Josh S guitar playing is tight, fluid, and the riffs that he creates are solid and powerful in spirit. Tracks like “Suicide Children” showcases how deceptively furious and hypnotic his playing is. His vocals, which he brilliantly changes the style to suit the mood of the songs should also be commended. The way his vocal sounds, reminds me of Possessed vocals in the song "Death Metal." You will be compelled to imitate him when he growls “Scream like a pig” in the final song, "The Erection of the Cross." Adelson's drumming is perfect in his execution. His playing is precise, powerful, and they drive the riffs forward in a menacing pace. He is also clever in not abusing the double bass drums, for they would have overshadowed the riffs. Surprisingly, the lyrics are not your typical gore nor is it overtly satanic. It has more of a dark metaphorical feel to it and yet it's strangely life affirming in meaning at the same time.

The album was recorded in guerrilla style at Josh S home studio. The drummer flew in 3000 km from Rio to record the drum tracks at Josh S home in Teresina. Some creative techniques were used to record the vocals. They were recorded in a tiled bathroom to get a natural re-verb feel to them. The lo-fi production suits the aesthetics of the album really well. The kick drum resonates like a pounding heartbeat propelling the songs like blood bursting through your veins. The ex guitarist of Sarcofago, Fábio Jhasko plays the lead on three songs in this album. The longest song "Elytron (Succubus)" clocks in at 4.17 and is also among the highlights of this album; the melody will haunt you long after you've finished listening to it.

This album is perfect for those death thrashers and black metal heads that can appreciate the true vision and spirit of extreme metal. This is a metal that is honest and it makes you feel the meaning of what great metal is. If you want something great, organic, and raw in essence this is it.

And surprisingly I got a 3rd rejection

Sorry Arbeit, Encyclopaedia Metallum was forced to reject or delete your review for Bode Preto - Inverted Blood, for the following reason:

Once again, this really needs some editing and polishing, consider asking someone to proofread it and give you feedback.

If you want tips to improve your review, please visit the appropriate thread in the Reviews sub-forum. Do not e-mail moderators directly about this.

Sincerely,
- Zodijackyl, Encyclopaedia Metallum


For your information I have submitted the review through three grammar checker

http://www.paperrater.com/free_paper_grader
http://www.grammarly.com/
http://www.grammarbase.com/

And compared my review with 3 other reviews that were accepted which were
1. http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... autothrall

2.http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... nmetalhead

3.http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... StormIRide

When I compared the results for punctuation which was my main problem for the review, i had fewer error detected for punctuation. I scored 5 on grammarbase, and only 1 on grammarly. Paper rater did not detect any grammar mistake in the review and i got a B for the review ( I posted under book review). Can someone help me out by giving some suggestions on what's wrong with the review. Thank You very much

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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2785
Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:43 am 
 

An online spell checker can only do so much - it can correct objective errors such as misplaced punctuation and such, but it cannot replace a human writer and give you tips on how to make your writing flow better. I'll go through the first paragraph of your review and give you some pointers based on what's in it:
Quote:
Bode Preto meaning black goat in Portuguese is a death metal band that hails from Teresina, Brazil. The band is made up by two individuals, Josh S on vocals/guitars and Adelson Souza on drums. “Inverted Blood” is their debut album that was released in November 2012. Previously, Bode Preto had released the "Dark Night" EP in 2010. This version of Bode Preto was a trio with only Josh S remaining from the ashes of that line up. The inclusion of Adelson Souza has clearly injected a vicious spirit into the music of Bode Preto, as the music on "Inverted Blood" shows a vast improvement in every aspect imaginable compared to the "Dark Night" EP.

  • "Bode Preto meaning black goat in Portuguese is a death metal band that hails from Teresina, Brazil" - "black goat" in this sentence needs to be in either italics or quotation marks, or else the meaning of the sentence is unclear (does Bode Preto mean "black goat in Portuguese is a death metal band that hails from Teresina, Brazil"? Because the sentence implies that that is a valid interpretation). "meaning black goat in Portuguese" is an appositive and it needs to be wrapped in commas ("Bode Preto, meaning 'black goat' in Portugues, is...").
  • "This version of Bode Preto was a trio with only Josh S remaining from the ashes of that line up." - This sentence is fine in a strictly grammatical sense, but it would flow better with a comma between "trio" and "with".
  • While this certainly isn't mandatory (some writers on the site don't adhere to this rule either), your album titles should technically be in italics, not quotation marks. Quotation marks should only be used for songs.

There's a bit more than that in the following paragraphs, but basically you'll need a human reader to review your review and tell you if it flows well. An online spell checker can't really do that for you.
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Arbeit
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Apr 03, 2013 1:27 am
Posts: 2
Location: Malaysia
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 4:51 am 
 

I've made some changes to the review. Any suggestions or comments to improve before i send it for reviewing

Quote:
Bode Preto is a black metal band that hails from Teresina, Brazil. Bode Preto means black goat in Portuguese. The band is made up by two individuals, Josh S on vocals/guitars and Adelson Souza on drums. “Inverted Blood” is their debut album that was released in November 2012. Previously, Bode Preto had released the "Dark Night" EP in 2010. This version of Bode Preto was a trio, with only Josh S remaining from the ashes of that line up. The inclusion of Adelson Souza has clearly injected a vicious spirit into the music of Bode Preto, as the music on "Inverted Blood" shows a vast improvement in every aspect imaginable compared to the "Dark Night" EP.

Bode Preto plays a form of metal music that combines the raw power of black metal with the brutality of death metal. They fuse these elements together with the high energy of grindcore, to create their own style of black metal that sounds unique, fresh, and powerful. Listening to “Inverted Blood” reminded me of the raw intensity and beauty of albums like Slaughter’s “Strappado”, Impaled Nazarene’s “Ugra Karma” and Merciless’ “The Awakening.” I was very impressed me with the ability of the songs to create a sense of excitement and thrill, without sounding repetitious and boring. The songs have an infectious quality in them that makes them feel fresh to my ears, even though I’ve been listening to this album repeatedly for so many days.

The whole album clocks in less than 26 minutes, but it’s packed with solid black metal tunes that will blow your mind. The minute the music starts assaulting your senses, you know that this album is a masterpiece in extreme metal. The album starts with the demonic spoken words on "Anuncicao", telling you to pay attention to the foreboding music that shall soon pummel you into a state of pure head banging bliss. Then with a simple four count snare beat, the title track rips into a momentum that propels this album into metal greatness. There is no sign of slowing down this pace, the moment the title track flies off right in your face. Track after track, the music flows like molten lava being spewed up by that destructive force of nature named Bode Preto. This album possesses a menacing spirit that will terrorize the listener into total submission.

The level of intensity achieved by the duo is simply amazing. Josh S guitar playing is tight, fluid, and the riffs that he creates are solid and powerful in spirit. Tracks like “Suicide Children”, "Mother of Ferocity", and "Serpent Inferior" showcases how deceptively furious and hypnotic his playing is. The longest song "Elytron (Succubus)" clocks in at 4.17 and is also among the highlights of this album; the melody will haunt you long after you've finished listening to it. I also like the way he brilliantly changes his vocal style to suit the mood of the songs. His vocals remind me of Jeff Becerra's vocals in the song "Death Metal" by Possessed. Trust me when I say that you will find it hard to resist imitating him, when he growls 'Scream like a pig !' In the final song, "The Erection of the Cross." Adelson's drumming is perfect in his execution. His playing is precise, powerful, and they drive the riffs forward in a menacing pace. He is also clever in not abusing the double bass drums, for they would have overshadowed the riffs. Surprisingly, the lyrics are not your typical gore nor is it overtly satanic. It has more of a dark metaphorical feel to it and yet it's strangely life affirming in meaning at the same time.

The album was recorded in guerrilla style at Josh S' home studio. The drummer flew in 3000 km from Rio to record the drum tracks at Josh S home in Teresina. Some creative techniques were used to record the vocals. They were recorded in a tiled bathroom to get a natural re-verb feel to them. The lo-fi production suits the aesthetics of the album really well. The kick drum resonates like a pounding heartbeat propelling the songs like blood bursting through your veins. The ex- guitarist of Sarcofago, Fábio Jhasko plays the lead on three songs in this album.

This album is perfect for those death thrashers and black metal heads that can appreciate the true vision and spirit of extreme metal. This is a metal that is honest and it makes you feel the meaning of what great metal is. If you want something great, organic, and raw in essence this is it.


Last edited by Arbeit on Tue Apr 23, 2013 4:38 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Woolie_Wool
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:56 pm
Posts: 1629
Location: Far beyond the prophecy of tyrant guardians
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 3:43 pm 
 

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
Woolie_Wool: Tighten it up. It's a considerable improvement on the original, but it's somewhat meandering. The first paragraph can basically go apart from being an introduction. Don't apologize, just get into it. Write for the first-time reader, but it's worth remembering that this is one in a long list of reviews. Luckily, it's an example of a review that doesn't have to be long to be substantial. You've had time to think about it, and the developments are obvious. Tighten it up and leave it a leaner examination of why you find this album so lackluster compared to the pile of other fairly high scores. Praise of the worthy portions is always good for comparison to the parts that don't work for you, so don't trim that too much while you're trimming fat. Nice step up, though.


I spent two weeks trying to figure out how to revamp the first paragraph and still do not know what to do with it, so I just submitted it as it is rather than let it collect mold on my hard drive.

Also, if any moderators read this, I think my score correction got "forgotten" somehow by the site software so if it reaches you with a score of 40, could you bump it to 55 as I intended?
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5200
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 4:46 pm 
 

Woolie_Wool wrote:
Also, if any moderators read this, I think my score correction got "forgotten" somehow by the site software so if it reaches you with a score of 40, could you bump it to 55 as I intended?


The title and score fields actually can't be modified by us. If it gets accepted you can just change it on your own. Last I checked, score changes don't go back into the queue.
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HeySharpshooter
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 3:12 am
Posts: 377
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Apr 30, 2013 10:16 am 
 

Not sure where to post this...

I recently had a review rejected, and Ive never had this happen before. It was for the new Cultes Des Ghoules album Henbane.

Any chance I can get some feedback as to why?

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HeySharpshooter
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 3:12 am
Posts: 377
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Apr 30, 2013 10:18 am 
 

Nvm

Since Ive never been rejected before, I didnt know there was a rejection notice with the reason. Sorry, now I know better. Ill fix the review and resubmit.

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radish
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:20 pm
Posts: 12
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 4:27 pm 
 

Hey all I recently wrote this review for Seventh Sin - Stranger Among Gods.
It was rejected for weak writing and I was wondering if anyone could impart their knowledge to better my reviewing skill.


Quote:
If you haven’t heard of this band before it won’t be a huge surprise. It’s hard to find a good local or unsigned band in any city. However Seventh Sin seems to break away from the pack with a truly powerful throwback sound; even though this sound is not particularly original.

First up on the review block is the album art, and it appears to be related to the fourth track Dragonhouse. The art is well chosen as the imagery shown is eye catching in my opinion. It’s one of the first interesting things I noticed about the album. However this is not a concept album, and the Asian aesthetic present on the cover is only reflected in the song I mentioned.

What you can expect from this album audio wise is a very energetic performance. This is apparent from the very first track as it comes crashing out of the gate with the roar of a muscle car being revved up, which is immediately followed by a waste no time head banging guitar riff, and a flying Hammond organ synth. The style in which the music is executed is well trodden ground, and will often evoke images of older bands that have employed similar instruments like Deep Purple for example. However the subject matter, and the style changes slightly as the album progresses. Often it leans from heavy metal to hard rock and back again covering lyrical topics such as animal cruelty on They Kill Animals, and oriental mythos on Dragonhouse.

Many of the band members on this release share the spotlight. Even the vocalist with his raspy lows, mids, and King Diamond like falsettos will often be backed up in the vocals by the keyboardist and the guitarists. Because of this many of the more conventional instruments of metal will fade into the background suddenly to give way for everyone to pay attention to the keyboard synths, or to a particularly interesting vocal hook, or anthem.

Overall this album was heavily enjoyable, and over the course of reviewing it I continue to enjoy listening to it even though I have already repeated the album in its entirety around four or five times. There are no truly standout songs on this album, but I feel that the songs coalesce together to form something greater than the individual would achieve; even though none of the songs share a theme. I still heavily recommend this album to anyone looking for a throwback metal sound. This album is truly a diamond in the rough, and I am personally keeping my eye out for an LP from this band if it ever comes.

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4794
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat May 04, 2013 10:50 am 
 

radish wrote:
Hey all I recently wrote this review for Seventh Sin - Stranger Among Gods.
It was rejected for weak writing and I was wondering if anyone could impart their knowledge to better my reviewing skill.


You need to focus on describing the music on the album as a whole, in literal terms, as the main portion of your review.

This is good, write more like this:

"Many of the band members on this release share the spotlight. Even the vocalist with his raspy lows, mids, and King Diamond like falsettos will often be backed up in the vocals by the keyboardist and the guitarists. Because of this many of the more conventional instruments of metal will fade into the background suddenly to give way for everyone to pay attention to the keyboard synths, or to a particularly interesting vocal hook, or anthem."

Avoid descriptions like this:

"This is apparent from the very first track as it comes crashing out of the gate with the roar of a muscle car being revved up, which is immediately followed by a waste no time head banging guitar riff"

Could describe tens of thousands of albums of nearly every genre. You need to be more specific, pair a comparison with a description to make important points. I would also recommend the simple writing practice of "tell 'em, tell 'em, and tell 'em again" - give a brief overview of what the music sounds like in your introduction, elaborate on that in the middle, and mention the key points again in the conclusion. The introduction and conclusion need not be too detailed, but you should at least start with mentioning the biggest thing that sticks on first impression to start, and the most notable aspect/a summary of your thoughts on the album as your conclusion.

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radish
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:20 pm
Posts: 12
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun May 05, 2013 7:55 pm 
 

lol oh thanks zodi

Yeah I'll rewrite it again and resubmit it. I'll laugh if you end up being the one reviewing it again :P

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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5200
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun May 05, 2013 8:06 pm 
 

radish wrote:
lol oh thanks zodi

Yeah I'll rewrite it again and resubmit it. I'll laugh if you end up being the one reviewing it again :P


The queue is like, 80% Zod and 20% me nowadays, there's a good chance he'll be the guy :lol:. Dude is a maniac.
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Desavenencia
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2012 3:54 pm
Posts: 21
Location: Mexico
PostPosted: Mon May 06, 2013 11:52 pm 
 

Hello, this is my first review. It got rejected by Zodijackyl and nothing shows me an explanation of which rule I broke.

First of all, let me say that this is a great musical production that deserved much more than being just an EP. <b>Beyond Mortal Dreams</b> brings the title "Dreaming Death" with an astonishing effort. The riffs, the solos, the drumming, the entire song structures have been composed with a very intelligent architecture, the vocals also suit the overall dense atmosphere.

The first song <i>Fist of Carrion</i> begins with a very catchy riff followed by a great moment for headbanging, as the first solo comes in, a hammering, tapping and tremolo picking dose of brutality. There is also a remarkable beat at around 3:50 that sounds very old school, but in the good way, there is no abuse of any element, everything appears the correct amount of time, definitely made for a complete enjoyable listen. This is the song that portraits the entire release, maybe that's why its the first song.

The <i>Filth of Their God</i> is a much more brutal offering. Begins very aggressive and has not only low pitched vocals, but also blackened death metal styled vocal work, it reminds me a lot of <i>Bestial Raids</i>. The song is short and has more a brutal and intense structure than the other ones, being the less melodic.

Then the song that deserved the title of the EP, <i>Dreaming Death</i>. This is my favorite one, it begins with a very dense atmosphere, as if it was funeral death metal, in fact the beats are low tempo and the vocals very low and dense, it could be the beginning of a great funeral doom/death piece, but from the middle of the song it transforms into a complete death metal masterpiece, the solos are the best part of the production, they remind me a lot of the album <i>Iter ad Lucem</i> from <i>Urna</i>, like making those long and emotive melodies fit perfectly into a death metal style. And a curious fact is that both bands made a cover of a Beherit song in one of their releases. Dreaming Death is a song that left a mark in my mind and could compete with the best death metal songs ever made, the melodies are superior than those of <i>All Evils Aside</i>, <i>Darken the Imagination</i> and <i>From The Astral Plane... Entwined With Infinity</i> of <i>Diabolic</i> and superior to anything ever done by Immolation. I could compare the superiority of this death metal style to the one of <i>Mitochondrion</i> in the album <i>Archaeon</i> but less chaotic and more melodic. This song will be cause of amaze for any developed ear. The best death metal song I heard in 2012 and probably 2013 too.

To finish, we have a cover of Beherit's <i>Beast of Damnation</i>. Listening to the original song from <i>Dawn of Satan's Millennium</i> and then to the cover made by <b>Beyond Mortal Dreams</b> makes me think that if Beherit gets to listen to it they would be amazed of how well this band adapted the song to death metal and I can even say the solo is way better done and much more professional than the one made by <i>Nuclear Holocausto Vengeance</i> (compare it for yourself, I am judging technically as a guitarist).

Dreaming Death is a release that not only every metalhead should have, but every musician, as it explores very interesting harmonic and dissonant areas. I can not rate a 100% because it will never exist a perfect release, ever, and if I gave out 100% I will not be judging it correctly but subjectively rather than musically. A definite 'stay' in my cellphone and library.



...I've done this based on the rules of a good review Content:
"So DO write about the following:

composition and songwriting
instrumentation
singing
lyrics
production
atmosphere and mood
emotions
ideas and themes
structure

Track-by-track: In some very rare cases, track-by-track reviews could be appropriate. For albums with short numbers of tracks, this is not a problem." (This has 3 tracks and a cover)


I took my time making the review, and think it's pretty decent. Could you provide me with the solution on how to make it possible to be approved? Thanks a lot.

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Xenokrist
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2012 1:03 am
Posts: 56
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 7:14 pm 
 

Hey, I would like some feedback on this review that I wrote for Slayer - Hell Awaits.
It's extremely pretentious at first, but once you get past that, I think it's okay.
Anyways, tell me what you think of it.

"The sound of tortured souls dying and screaming in pain, writhing in agony engulfed within the flames that forever consume their soul. The command of a demon telling you to join the black mass led by Satan himself, who greets you by saying "Welcome back". Such is the first minute of a hell ride that one won't soon forget. The shouting of blasphemies, murders, necrophilia and other various forms of violence and occult topics are sure to scare even the most intimidating, warlike people into bowing before the altar of Lucifer. This might seem like a trite topic for the thrash metal stalwarts, being that their first in a long line of classic masterpieces focused on these very topics, but what Show No Mercy lacked in pure evil, Hell Awaits made up for tenfold.

When the cacophony of the conjuring of demons ceases, your punishment in the abyss begins. The violent assault that will leave you begging for mercy. Your screams will never be heard, and are immediately silenced by the marchlike beat that begins the bludgeoning of your fearful soul. Dave's double bass work carrying on, malevolently as him, Kerry and Jeff drag you through the flames with slow, brooding riffs leading you to the unrelenting beating you'll soon know. As if the members themselves are possessed by the prince of Hell, the brutal thrash everyone knows Slayer for begins, no one missing a single beat, going on without a care for your condition. The almost completely atonal riffs played from Jeff and Kerry compliment Tom's style of shouting as fast as humanly possible, right before the chorus singing what might be the most blasphemous lyrics ever written:

"Crucify the so called Lord
He soon shall fall to me
Your souls are damned your God has fell
To slave for me eternally"

Continuing your sentence to eternal damnation is the hymn to murder and psychopathy, 'Kill Again', yet another in a series of bone and soul crushing odes to inhumanity and perdition. Flowing very well with the title track before it, this is another complete thrash-fest, almost machine-like double bass work is prominent (not only in this song, but in 'Praise of Death' as well, chaotic riffs and solos go along with the rest of the mayhem, the solos being mainly just random notes played in no particular scale, but yet something about it seems so malevolent that it fits the rest of the brutal assault. 'At Dawn They Sleep' and 'Necrophiliac' are the best examples of double guitar melodies and phenomenal bass work that can create an uneasy feeling to even the least squeamish of people.

Tom's voice here is top notch here like it always has been, albeit rather monotone, but it wouldn't fit the music nor the evil lyrics if it was actually sung like on Show No Mercy. Instead put in its place, are shouts, snarls, and his trademark scream. When he utilizes vocal patterns in the songs, they're not only catchy like in 'Crypts of Eternity', but they're done tastefully and don't start on the first beat of a measure as many singers tend to do. When he's trying to speak as fast as he possibly can, it displays not only his ability and precision with syllable enunciation, there's also a lot of force and power put into the words, best shown in the pre-choruses of the title track. The 'growls' or demonic voices that sporadically appear throughout this album appear to be just extremely-low pitch shifted vocals with an echo effect added onto them. It's not prominent, but it's quite creepy when it's used alongside Tom's standard-fare shouts in double-tracking.

As for how the songs flow together, they all have intros and outros that command your attention, some starting almost the same way the previous song ended, and what I mean is not by whether it had a thrash metal-like beat, but more like how similar the last riff of the previous song and the first riff of the next sound to each other, or simply how well it flows. Not to say that the riffs in any of these songs' riffs could be interchangeable and could fit in any of these songs, because if these riffs were moved around to different songs, one riff would always be out of place with the whole mood of each individual song. If you placed the verse riff of 'At Dawn They Sleep' as the chorus of the title track, something would be off, and it would most certainly throw a listener off. But this goes to show how meticulously these songs were crafted. The last thing of note here, is the absolutely genius idea of making the end of 'Hardening of the Arteries' a reprise of the title track's intro, and thus the lyric in the beginning "Welcome back", as if you want to take another ride through Satan's realm.

While the production may be raw and the mixing job done by Brian Slagel might be quite awful compared to today's standards of metal production, I personally wouldn't have it any other way. The bass is actually audible, the chaotic leads louder than anything else when they're played, Tom's vocals are mixed pretty high, Dave's drums are quite noisy to some degree (but not to an overbearingly annoying grindcore-esque level), and both of the guitars are mixed differently, which is pretty odd but they both appear to have the same level of left-to-right panning. If it were to be re-recorded with modern production though, I have a feeling that it wouldn't have that same menacing sound. It's yet another case of fitting the music.

And while it may not be as successful or as noticed as Reign In Blood, Hell Awaits is one of Slayer's darkest musical journeys and will leave your soul in pieces, tattered and torn, carelessly thrown and left burning forever. But while Hell Awaits may have been perfect, it's successor was perfect, and then some. But that isn't to undermine the influence of this album. Whenever you have the opportunity, join in on this roller coaster of pure evil filth, and revel in it's evil, satanic glory."

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4794
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 7:30 pm 
 

Elaborate more on this, perhaps add some color there if you'd like:

"Tom's voice here is top notch here like it always has been, albeit rather monotone, but it wouldn't fit the music nor the evil lyrics if it was actually sung like on Show No Mercy. Instead put in its place, are shouts, snarls, and his trademark scream. When he utilizes vocal patterns in the songs, they're not only catchy like in 'Crypts of Eternity', but they're done tastefully and don't start on the first beat of a measure as many singers tend to do. When he's trying to speak as fast as he possibly can, it displays not only his ability and precision with syllable enunciation, there's also a lot of force and power put into the words, best shown in the pre-choruses of the title track. The 'growls' or demonic voices that sporadically appear throughout this album appear to be just extremely-low pitch shifted vocals with an echo effect added onto them. It's not prominent, but it's quite creepy when it's used alongside Tom's standard-fare shouts in double-tracking.

As for how the songs flow together, they all have intros and outros that command your attention, some starting almost the same way the previous song ended, and what I mean is not by whether it had a thrash metal-like beat, but more like how similar the last riff of the previous song and the first riff of the next sound to each other, or simply how well it flows. Not to say that the riffs in any of these songs' riffs could be interchangeable and could fit in any of these songs, because if these riffs were moved around to different songs, one riff would always be out of place with the whole mood of each individual song. If you placed the verse riff of 'At Dawn They Sleep' as the chorus of the title track, something would be off, and it would most certainly throw a listener off. But this goes to show how meticulously these songs were crafted. The last thing of note here, is the absolutely genius idea of making the end of 'Hardening of the Arteries' a reprise of the title track's intro, and thus the lyric in the beginning "Welcome back", as if you want to take another ride through Satan's realm."

This part seems a little off - you're writing negatively about the production even though you like it, sort of on the pretense that a reader might find it lacking? I think what you mean to say is that it's not poorly mixed, rather it's a very good, natural sound that captures the music well.

"While the production may be raw and the mixing job done by Brian Slagel might be quite awful compared to today's standards of metal production, I personally wouldn't have it any other way. The bass is actually audible, the chaotic leads louder than anything else when they're played, Tom's vocals are mixed pretty high, Dave's drums are quite noisy to some degree (but not to an overbearingly annoying grindcore-esque level), and both of the guitars are mixed differently, which is pretty odd but they both appear to have the same level of left-to-right panning. If it were to be re-recorded with modern production though, I have a feeling that it wouldn't have that same menacing sound. It's yet another case of fitting the music."

Honestly, I'd just strike the rest of the review and focus on these descriptions to introduce/conclude it. Gimmick reviews are generally lame and a pain to read, especially when it's literally half of the review with a bunch of literal description thrown in the middle, it's just not well executed. Regarding the solos, you should read Alex Skolnick's recent tribute to Hanneman, he described them perfectly.

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Desavenencia
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2012 3:54 pm
Posts: 21
Location: Mexico
PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 7:40 pm 
 

Will I be ignored?

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Xenokrist
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2012 1:03 am
Posts: 56
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 7:55 pm 
 

Okay, thanks Zodijackyl.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 2043
Location: In the Open Sea
PostPosted: Sun May 12, 2013 1:46 pm 
 

Desavenencia wrote:
Will I be ignored?

what did the rejection notice say?
Just on the face of it, there are quite a lot of grammatical problems.

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SadisticGratification
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2012 3:00 pm
Posts: 406
Location: Ireland
PostPosted: Sun May 12, 2013 2:33 pm 
 

Can someone review this review for me(errr no pun intended)? it got a 3 and while I'm not trying to be a points whore I just want to know how I can improve for future reviews, cheers.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Autopsy/Macabre_Eternal/301822/SadisticGratification

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xThe__Wizard
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:59 pm
Posts: 845
PostPosted: Sun May 12, 2013 3:51 pm 
 

SadisticGratification wrote:
Can someone review this review for me(errr no pun intended)? it got a 3 and while I'm not trying to be a points whore I just want to know how I can improve for future reviews, cheers.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Autopsy/Macabre_Eternal/301822/SadisticGratification


You honestly spend too much time on things that don't necessarily matter and not enough time on the things that do matter. Focus on riffs, production, song progressions, lyrics, etc. and less on stuff like other old school death metal bands in the first paragraph. It just seems like complete filler to me. I mean I enjoy reading stuff like that sometimes but you don't talk a lot about Autopsy.

Also you are pretty vague with things.

Quote:
Not only was the album not bad, it was actually very good. Sometimes change is good, sometimes its for the better but not always. In the case of Autopsy I'm glad there wasn't much change. Sure the production values were a bit better than Mental Funeral and Severed Survival but it still retained that signature Autopsy sound, those gory lyrics and ridiculous track titles.


You don't really talk about what really changed or how it is different from their other albums. Doesn't really help paint a picture (or a sound) if you say it's changed. If I wasn't a rabid Autopsy fan I wouldn't know what you are talking about.
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SadisticGratification
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2012 3:00 pm
Posts: 406
Location: Ireland
PostPosted: Sun May 12, 2013 4:34 pm 
 

Thanks for the tips, will take them into account in future.

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xThe__Wizard
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:59 pm
Posts: 845
PostPosted: Sun May 12, 2013 5:15 pm 
 

Your welcome! Just keep working on them. You'll develop your own style someday.
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Western NY Metal Scene Facebook page.
Controlled by Fear. Grindcore. Split with Special Buddy Discount out now.

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Desavenencia
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2012 3:54 pm
Posts: 21
Location: Mexico
PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2013 8:32 am 
 

Ok, thanks for telling me the reason: Grammatical mistakes. Sadly I could probably do little to correct anything, because English is not my first language and translators are much less precise than I am, so I'll try to see where the problems are; I would appreciate if you could help me too, thanks Zodijackyl.

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