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XcKyle93
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 7:04 pm
Posts: 283
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 2:27 pm 
 

This review is pretty bad:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... lendoscopy

The author pretty much just complains about how shitty, "gay," and not black metal this band and album are. When he actually decides to discuss the music, the reasons he gives for why it sucks are bullshit and wrong; he probably didn't even listen to the entire album. It seems that he just skimmed through a few songs looking for stuff to hate and wrote down a few times. He constantly compares Abigail Williams to Whitechapel and deathcore, even though this album sounds quite different from both that band and the genre (with the exception of their first EP). He probably hasn't even listened to more than one song by Whitechapel, maybe one song with black metal influence or something. Also, he fails to grasp what exactly a breakdown is.

Finally, there are numerous spelling and grammar mistakes. This reviewer tried to sound intelligent but failed miserably.

This review is filled with genius remarks such as:
Quote:
The fecal matter of an unexplained deity floating aimlessly in an ever so distant side of the universe. Rather pointless it is, disgusting in look, taste, and smell. It simply is waste from Yog-sothoth, Azathoth, or whichever deity you choose. Such is the case with the so-called "black metal" band Abigail Williams.

Quote:
atrocious and absolutly gay excercises in what the band probably perceives to be "black metal".

Quote:
Still, he adds nothing to the music and just comes across as an extremly monotonous and annoying Chihuahua barking endlessly into the night as you stuff your pillow of eternity into your ears in a futile attempt to drown it out. Feeble they are, as these shreiks of pointless and endless torture carry on into the night until you are lulled to sleep by their total monotony. However, Sorceron apparantly also let go a few stubborn turds during the recording process, and in result his voice deepens on some songs, resembling weak growls.
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Chaosmonger wrote:
The Red in the Sky is Ours and select songs off With Fear... is the compositional height of death metal, if not all of metal. Better than ten Super Bowls.


Ah yes, the death metal phenomenon that is the Super Bowl.

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Subrick
Metal freak

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 5801
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 1:23 am 
 

I remember trying to read that review a good year ago and stopping because of how poor it was.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9797
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 9:20 pm 
 

XcKyle93 wrote:

Reminds me of this review. To sum it up in the reviewer's own overused word to describe the album... "gay".
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... rpsefucker
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 9:28 pm 
 

Wow, homophobia, racism, misogyny, was there a cliche he missed? Terrible.
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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
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Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 9:34 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Wow, homophobia, racism, misogyny, was there a cliche he missed? Terrible.

Racism? How is that review even remotely racist?
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 9:38 pm 
 

MalignantThrone wrote:
Empyreal wrote:
Wow, homophobia, racism, misogyny, was there a cliche he missed? Terrible.

Racism? How is that review even remotely racist?


Comment in the opening about the Japanese. Probably didn't mean to be offensive, but it sure is silly.
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oogboog
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 5:09 pm
Posts: 866
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 9:51 pm 
 

Is she notorious for poor reviews, or was this an exception? The description is very short.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/O ... 69/Skyklad
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but not sub-genes of death metal ( like grindcore and black metal).

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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
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Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 9:53 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Comment in the opening about the Japanese. Probably didn't mean to be offensive, but it sure is silly.
Really, that? :ugh: Sure, he could've worded it a bit less rudely, but there's nothing racist about his general point if it is indeed true (that Arch Enemy received an overwhelmingly positive response in Japan). I don't see him saying that Japanese people are idiots who gobbled up Arch Enemy because they didn't know any better, and all-in-all I'd say he was just pointing out a unique reaction to the band in a specific culture rather than chastising that culture for their actions.

Then again, I don't know why I'm actually defending him, considering he seems like he is (was?) a complete idiot - using gory metal stereotypes as compliments, using "pussy" as a negative quality, etc.
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enigmatech
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:57 pm
Posts: 321
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 10:18 pm 
 

XcKyle93 wrote:
This review is pretty bad:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... lendoscopy

The author pretty much just complains about how shitty, "gay," and not black metal this band and album are. When he actually decides to discuss the music, the reasons he gives for why it sucks are bullshit and wrong; he probably didn't even listen to the entire album. It seems that he just skimmed through a few songs looking for stuff to hate and wrote down a few times. He constantly compares Abigail Williams to Whitechapel and deathcore, even though this album sounds quite different from both that band and the genre (with the exception of their first EP). He probably hasn't even listened to more than one song by Whitechapel, maybe one song with black metal influence or something. Also, he fails to grasp what exactly a breakdown is.


I am (well, "was") the author of that review, and your assumption about me "skimming through the songs and looking for stuff to hate and wrote down a few times" is actually completely on-point and correct. In fact, I don't think I listened to the entire album. I had no intention of ever liking that album and only reviewed it because I was 16 years old and spent far too much time bitching about music I didn't like on the internet, and wanted to "prove how metal I was" for whatever bullshit reason. You can practically see me writing "FUCK DEATHCORE" on my CD wallet with a magic marker in my High School's lunchroom while you read that review (At least, I do, because I actually did that).

You will also notice that the majority of my other reviews from that time are filled with the same pseudo-intellectual bullshit, :lol:.

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9797
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 10:29 pm 
 

oogboog wrote:
Is she notorious for poor reviews, or was this an exception? The description is very short.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/O ... 69/Skyklad

No, she's awful. This in particular is probably the shortest review I've seen on this site.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... 50/Skyklad

Quote:
Time, Unveiled - 93%

Now here´s a band from the US I feel is extremely underrated and don´t get the attention they deserve. This newest offering, released on mainman Ron Vento´s own label, is a "no holds barred", adrenaline rush of unbridled aggression. They easily lay waste with thrashing, technical riffing, gargling death vocals and lots of speed. The soloing is particularly of interest and one of the main attractions for me as is the excellent, crunchy guitarwork. AURORA BOREALIS manage to meld the Death, Thrash and Black Metal styles very well and for those with a need for speed I recommend to check these guys out.


Yes people, 5 sentences.
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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Location: Québec
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 11:37 pm 
 

2002 eh :-P
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Subrick
Metal freak

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 5801
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 12:22 am 
 

I still think there should be a purge of all pre-2006 reviews that don't meet the current site standards.
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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Location: Québec
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 12:27 am 
 

It's not exactly fun/easy/urgent to do. I remove these when I see 'em.
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oneyoudontknow
Cum insantientibus furere necesse est.

Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 6:25 pm
Posts: 5316
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 1:01 pm 
 

Subrick wrote:
I still think there should be a purge of all pre-2006 reviews that don't meet the current site standards.

how about a review challenge that deals with these?

Kick the old stuff out challenge.

Or something like that.
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5337
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 1:22 pm 
 

We had the Review Deletion Task Force a few years ago that I participated in, which was fun for me, but in hindsight was probably a huge strain on the mods. It DID help purge a lot of bad reviews for well reviewed albums though. Thankfully Lana was really good at running it, kept the standards obvious, and put an end to it when it ran its course. So yeah, If you find old reviews that suck, feel free to bring them up, I've been sniping a couple of the bad ones I come across just while reading reviews normally, but I wouldn't say you should make it a mission or anything just yet. Nor should you single out a specific reviewer quite yet. Something like that is pretty much up to a secret council of Robot Elders.
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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:29 pm 
 

Well, we already had the virgin review challenge, next one could be to review albums only with only poor reviews. I've been meaning to do that for Ebony Tears for a while, the reviews are pitiful and somewhat inaccurate.

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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:35 pm 
 

That could be interesting, though I still don't think it should be a challenge in any "official" capacity. But yeah, I definitely understand that feeling. There were at least two reviews I know I wrote in a reactionary "wow every current review blows, I should fix that" mindset.
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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

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Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:54 pm 
 

This one is pretty terrible. Another one of the same band mentions the strings, which are only used on a few tracks. I started reviewing all of their material but haven't finished it.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/E ... Hell/1931/

One of the problems with a lot of reviews, especially of certain styles, is that they seem to be written with a caveat - nearly every metalcore review is an example. Tons of them tend to acknowledge that they feel like they shouldn't like metalcore and need to qualify their thoughts with "but it's metalcore!" because of the stigma against it. I haven't noticed it much here recently, but I'm sure we have all noticed that for a long time, people would overlook a band being labeled as metalcore then complain when the music was metalcore.

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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Location: Québec
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:58 pm 
 

"Great mix of american/swedish death/trash metal! - 90%"
:guns:
the whole review
Spoiler: show
Well... this album is different of the previos releases of Ebony Tears (E.T.). Still is melodic but with a much brutal musical approach wich makes me remember USA style death metal. Don't get me wrong, in this case the combination is great. Since the first track, Deviation, the audio assault begins and it goes on through the whole album... one of my personal favorites being Negative Creep which is one of the most nihilistic song I ever heard, at least in this genre... a lot of the credits for this misanthropic aura belong to Johnny Wranning which vocals in this album is quite brutal... makes me think on a drunk demon singing in hell (well.. whot could be more metal than that?). But the credits for all the songs (at least the booklet says so) belongs to Conny Jonsson, the fact that he was the creator of this compendium of musical misanthropy and hate makes me think that Conny could have lost his sanity...

Anyway, if you like melodic death with a brutal approach, you have to listen this release since is a very unappreciate album which deserves more attention.
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:59 pm 
 

Yeah I torched that one, good call.

And yeah, things like that you learn to despise pretty quickly during your first few runs of the queue.
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enigmatech
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:57 pm
Posts: 321
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:07 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... haossphere

Reviewer spends more time trying to make "funny" jokes and ridiculous comparisons than actually describing the music. Sounds like he only heard the album once a long time ago and can't remember anything else about it other than that he didn't like it, so he filled the gap with unfunny exaggerations and other bullshit which just makes him come across as an ass.

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Erosion of Humanity
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
Posts: 2240
Location: Schaumburg, Il
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 6:14 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... rt/154438/

Over half of this review is just this guy hating on Christianity and not even about the music, there's really only 2 paragraphs in there that are actually music related.
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androdion
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
Posts: 4929
Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 11:26 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... ate/50390/

Only reviews one side of the split, it seems that these reviews are usually reported but please correct me if I'm wrong.
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ravagingthemassacred
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2011 3:30 am
Posts: 160
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 1:02 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/O ... els_Coffin

A sample:
Quote:
When I first heard the second track (the wonderful melodic intro that is), I thought, here comes another melodic/symphonic power metal band and since that's quite fine with me, let's enjoy....BANG! HARSH guitars (the melodic thingie remains), BANG! F***ing awesome growls join the ride and, woohoo, here we go!

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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6484
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2013 11:23 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... /The_Ghoul

This is probably borderline, but fuck, what an eyesore.

Quote:
we all know Darkthrone never do anything resembling innovation. It's usually just something resembling 0-0-0-1-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-1 repeat.


That's as much description as we get. The rest of the review is speculation of who was responsible for writing Darkthrone's earlier material. After that we just get "the drumming is mediocre".

No musical description beyond that ridiculous "guitar tab" and the announcement that Darkthrone has never innovated anything. How about black metal, The_Ghoul? Darkthrone didn't play any small part in shaping an entire genre!
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androdion
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
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Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2013 12:47 pm 
 

Yeah, it's pretty bad. Plus the album has 9 other reviews, some of which are way less than positive.
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Byrain
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 10:45 pm
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 6:02 pm 
 

Not entirely sure if this review should be nuked, but it should at least be considered. Fails to really describe the music beyond being doom and being derivative of mostly unnamed bands. The most musical description I see is that the reviewer considers the vocalist to be cloning Skepticism's vocalist, not only is this hopelessly little content for a review, its not even true...

Quote:
I'm told that, in their brief time together, the members of Ningizzia weren't often in the same room - one being French and the other Swedish. While that may not strictly be true, a lot of "Dolorous Novella" sounds as though it was composed at a distance, and it suffers from that.

A common problem with doom metal is that it's very difficult to be original. Stretch out too much in your compositions and risk being identified as a second-rate version of one legend, while the exact same fate awaits those who compress their music into shorter tracks. Sing in this way and sound like someone, sing in another way and sound like someone else. The genius of truly original doom is to take that template and manipulate it just enough to sound fresh and interesting without alienating the hardcore fanbase which expects at least something traditional.

Ningizzia, on the other hand, have released an album which is seemingly more than content to ape a lot of other bands. The result is something that's derivative and thus more likely to appeal to fans of the style than win new converts.

The most notable part of this is to be found in the harsh vocals. While these are undeniably well done, and treated with an echo effect to make them sound even more foreboding, they sound almost identical to a lot of Skepticism's work. Sure, Skepticism are a great band in their way and clearly someone any doom act would look up to, but sounding identical to them (the first two tracks in particular suffer from this problem) doesn't serve to impress any distinctiveness on the listener.

A lot of the rest of the album sounds similarly derivative. I can't quite put my finger on it, but throughout the album I've often caught myself thinking "I've heard this before, and better". It's all competently played and far from bad, but it's entirely generic stuff and not some massive new saviour of the style, as some have argued.

Hardcore doom fans will enjoy this, but casual listeners would be better off sticking to an established band.

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ogmetal
Veteran of the Psychic Wars

Joined: Fri Jul 02, 2004 9:22 pm
Posts: 3991
PostPosted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 9:59 pm 
 

I appreciate people giving it the "old college try" but this review has a ton of misinformation. It's not badly written but the content isn't correct.

"Those who are well versed in the history of death metal know that after the Swedish scene exploded onto the world stage in the early 90s, bands in neighboring countries took influence from the Swedes and tried to tag along on the success of the Swedish bands. Countries such as Finland, the Netherlands, and Denmark became known for bands such as Convulse and Asphyx (just to name a few) and together, along with the Swedes, helped establish and advance old school death metal as a respectable genre. Since the first wave of old school death metal in Sweden and the second wave in America, Sweden and it's neighbors are experiencing the rise of a third wave of old school death metal."

First off, Old school death metal is not a genre. It's called death metal. Secondly, bands like Asphyx (Pestilence anyone?) pre-date even the earliest of the Swedish progenitors. Swedish death metal bands may have influenced other death metal bands in Sweden, but I didn't see any of them picking up the HM2 in neighboring countries to "tag along" on their coattails.

This one probably should be returned for fact checking.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V ... _Christ666
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androdion
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
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Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 10:25 pm 
 

Yeah, I have to agree with you there. That first paragraph is filled with misconceptions, or should I say factual errors?! And it's really irritating that he manages to write "old school death metal" twelve times! :annoyed:
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6484
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:39 am 
 

Yeah, definitely historical revisionism. Finnish death metal sounded very different, and Netherlands definitely had its own style. "Helped esablish and advance osdm as a respectable genre", what does that even mean? Does he think people used the phrase old school death metal in 1991?
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TheStormIRide
Jesuscop

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 935
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:07 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Arathorn/Niemals_kroenender_als_was_einst_war/7723/WIndrider

From 2003:

Quote:
Arathorn is band most have never heard of. They hail from eastern Europe and are on the slightly underground label folter. However, while Arathorn may be obscure they are one of the best folky/pagan black metal bands ever! Arathorn music was written all the back as far as 94 however their brilliance is still unreachable. Arathorn creates an extremely dark grim sound which at the same time adds atmosphere instead of disabling it. They utilize an accordion which I think fits even more brilliantly than finntroll. Their songs are extremely long and take the listener to a world of madness. When I listen to this cd I feel like im transported to an alleyway of medieval eastern Russia, where dead bodies line the streets and the singer Skoll is running around mad. extremely emotional and extremely dark, anyone who wants to take their senses on a field trip should buy this cd, if you can find it.


That's the entire review. Not even joking. Looking through some of his older reviews, I find that most have the same amount of musical description.
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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 2:23 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/8 ... 4_abortion

The whole review
Spoiler: show
For a band that used to be pretty much Mallcore, they can play some pretty brutal music. From the moment i turned on this CD i was blown away by how much heavier this CD is compared to "Season For Assault" and "Hate Made Me".
The bass is so heavy in this, and the drums gave me a headache...great stuff! The guitar work is very good as well, especially because they only have one guitarist. Justin Nielsson has departed from the band so they now have the drummer (Sam Sheppard)'s brother on the vocals. Hes a good addition to the band as his vocals are very death metal (to my ears anyway).
Anyway, this album sounds so much different to their other albums, which can be a good thing, depending on what sort of music you like. I like death metal so this was a very welcome change to the band, but if you are more into the softer stuff, this won't be the album for you.

Album Highlights - Mentally Castrated, Altar Of Obscenity, Brutal Revenge.

I give it 9/10


Last edited by Metantoine on Mon Mar 11, 2013 2:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
I added the review LOL

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4916
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:06 am 
 

These two are probably acceptable for older reviews but need some spelling correction and maybe a line break in the first one.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/L ... alGuardian
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/L ... alGuardian

First one might be OK (probably not), second one certainly isn't.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/L ... 879/Tengil
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/L ... 704/Tengil

This one's pretty bad since it doesn't describe the music much, he wrote a series of them though.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/L ... overkill67

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Peroy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:44 am
Posts: 360
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 9:08 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/F ... nbedrosian

It's not the 0% or the fact that the writer's obviously a childish, tasteless idiot (although that surely doesn't help), it's the use of "shit-smeared mongoloids" as an insult. Honestly, that should be unacceptable. Neither Fear Factory nor mongoloids deserved that...

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w0Lf
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 1:04 am
Posts: 127
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 5:34 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... XHARATHORN

Only about 3 sentences describe the music, and not very well at that. No mention of song writing, just production and similar sounding artists. There's already 2 other reviews of this album that are of much higher quality; this one's continued existence just kind of makes the site look bad.

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8788
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 5:46 pm 
 

Indeed.

Spoiler: show
Mexico hasn't been known to have a very large or known metal scene but their old scene could definitely compete with north america or even europe. Mortuary is one of Mexico's oldest but least known metal bands. Their style is early Death Metal with hints of thrashy, perhaps it can be compared to Death (Scream Bloody Gore) or Chilean Pentagram but with vocals a bit like Glen Benton(Legion) of Deicide. The music is definitely old school and raw and with -l- anti-christian -l- lyrics, most notable in the track "Sacreligous". It is a shame this band split up after the recording of this album. The only reason why this album doesn't get a 100 is because of the production but in a way the production makes the album rawer.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9797
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 7:21 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/E ... alAttorney

FullMetalAttorney's lack of description on the actual album makes this total fodder. He spends the first half setting up his comparison to M. Night Shyamalan, which bombs, and then he hits with this piece of utter brilliance (it's sets a new bar to the site's standards):
Quote:
But there is a disturbing trend of mainstream-friendly material seeping into many of these songs, most notably on the two female vocal-led cuts, "Alesia" and "A Rose for Epona." The latter is even fit for rock radio, and the two of them together will probably get the band's female members on the cover of Revolver's "hottest chicks in metal" issue. You may think it's a stretch to find a folk metal band on the radio or touring with the likes of Lacuna Coil. But Apocalyptica's mainstream breakthrough once seemed just as unlikely.
...
The Verdict: For me, this is Eluveitie's The Village. It's the moment when I finally realize the artist isn't that great, and had only one brilliant moment. Turns out, I'm not actually a fan.

That's the end of the review.

I must quote him once again just to hammer in the fact that FMA's genius is aknowledged:
FullMetalAttorney wrote:
I'm more of the Cosmo Lee school of thought, which is that good metal writing should be, first and foremost, good writing. I don't always succeed. But it is, in my humble (or not humble) opinion, better than what often passes for good writing around here.
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xexyzl
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:38 pm
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:12 am 
 

I mean, I pretty much completely agree with all his points, but you're right in that there isn't enough meat on the review to justify its place here. For a band that sucks as hard as Eluveitie, you should be able to find something pretty concrete to complain about.

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9797
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 12:36 am 
 

This is for Metantoine. I want you to actually read below without clicking that link at the bottom, because I want you to see that this review actually exists. All of this guy's reviews are like this one. He does describe the music, at some point, but his writing is beyond horrendous (and he constantly has an exclamation point at the end of a lot of his sentences for no reason!). You can click the link at the bottom after you fully understand that that review is on this site. :lol:

Image


http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... gabalgabow

While you're at it - all from 2003: http://www.metal-archives.com/user-reviews/gabalgabow
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8788
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 12:55 am 
 

I don't really know why you would think I'm surprised or something. There's plenty of lame reviews that should be deleted (I'll remove these) but I don't really have the will to do a witch hunt. Also, I'll click the link when I'd like to, mister! :-D
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JESUS CRUST, I didn't know this was the goddamn pizza inquisition.

Metantoine's Magickal Realm
Last.fm
Halberd (doom/death)

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