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somberlain93
I'm not sexist, I have binders full of women friends!

Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2013 12:20 am
Posts: 50
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:16 pm 
 

Why do people on forums, not even just this one, so often gang up on anyone they don't fully understand or agree with? It often looks like if someone goes against the grain a bit or says something that isn't popular they get personal attacks and insults and name calling. Is this to run them off so the forum is better filled with likeminded people? That sounds boring. I haven't participated on a forum in about seven years or more but now I tried two or three lately and the same thing happens. I don't troll or do anything stupid, but just trying to start threads that might be a little different to share ideas that I wondered about and I get ganged up on, probably by 14-year olds for all I know. But still, is this something others see here and in other places? If so, why do you think it's so common? What might one do to completely avoid stupid childish name-calling and still be able to share a genuine opinion that might not be understood or widely accepted? What's better etiquette, if that's the right word?
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8966
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:41 pm 
 

Some are idiots and some aren't. SLK is in one of these categories, choose which one.

To be honest, your threads were kinda poor, I suggest that you lurk a bit more before making new ones. Maybe grow a thicker skin too?
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somberlain93
I'm not sexist, I have binders full of women friends!

Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2013 12:20 am
Posts: 50
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 11:04 pm 
 

I felt so too. So you think the wording was bad or not clear enough or just that they were stupid ideas to share "out loud" anyway?

Thick skin would help in life true. It's just discouraging to be unable to share a thought without some sort of negative and personal reply.
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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 5019
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 11:48 pm 
 

As you discuss things more, articulate your ideas better, avoid argumentative tones unless intended, and get used to ignoring rude people. I share unpopular opinions quite frequently and have plenty of discouraging replies, I can deal with it without it being a problem.

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Porman
Sweek Souvlaki Muncher

Joined: Sun Mar 06, 2005 5:00 pm
Posts: 1547
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 4:26 am 
 

And you can't expect more from a bunch of die hard fans on a Dissection only forum.
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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5405
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 5:19 pm 
 

Yeah basically you have to just deal with insults when you have opinions which are less than popular. Everyone has some, Metantoine himself is probably my biggest critic (<3), you just need to suck it up, it's an internet message board not a presidential debate so behaviour tends to be a bit more natural and laid back. I think I might have a had a little dig at you at one point, I don't mean any particular harm by it, it's just a way of dismissing arguments I find particularly silly, because your OP's at least presented some very bizarre trains of thought, although in one of them at least you later cleared it up to being something more reasonable.
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Riffs
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2012 1:48 am
Posts: 920
Location: Montréal, Québec
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 8:22 pm 
 

somberlain93 wrote:
Why do people on forums, not even just this one, so often gang up on anyone they don't fully understand or agree with? It often looks like if someone goes against the grain a bit or says something that isn't popular they get personal attacks and insults and name calling. Is this to run them off so the forum is better filled with likeminded people? That sounds boring. I haven't participated on a forum in about seven years or more but now I tried two or three lately and the same thing happens. I don't troll or do anything stupid, but just trying to start threads that might be a little different to share ideas that I wondered about and I get ganged up on, probably by 14-year olds for all I know. But still, is this something others see here and in other places? If so, why do you think it's so common? What might one do to completely avoid stupid childish name-calling and still be able to share a genuine opinion that might not be understood or widely accepted? What's better etiquette, if that's the right word?


I'll humbly give a couple of general guidelines for forums. Pick what applies:

1) Pick the spots you hang at carefully

I put that as the first rule because I truly think this is the most important. Before you heavily participate in a forum, just analyze a little and try to figure out if this is the right spot for you. Obviously, communities like this one tend to be large, nobody is gonna agree 100% on everything. But are you gonna fit? If you're a Boston Bruins fan and the mere mention of the Montreal Canadiens gives you an aneurism, would it be wise to join a Canadiens forum? If swearing hurts you and offends you, should you join a forum where swearing is allowed? Just check the mission statement of the community and watch how people interact. Then, throw a few posts. If it doesn't work for you, there may be a better community out there for you. When you participate, you change the community a little but don't expect you can change the whole damn place. Someone else went through the hard work of building the community. It is privately owned. It is not any user's right to shit on it. For instance, I personally love it here, but I'm little bummed out that the owners and mods have determined Tool is not fit for the archives. Am I gonna throw a fit about it? No. I understand why they see things this way, I disagree, I move on. If the subject is ever discussed, I'll throw my opinion and that's it.

2) Understand the community's dynamics

Most of us know people where, if you visit them, you don't have to leave your shoes at the door (and in fact, it is highly advisable to keep them since the floor is filthy as fuck!) and other friends where it's just polite and the right thing to get your shoes off before wondering about. Same with smoking rules. You have to be observant. A forum is just like that. You want to get a feel of the place. Not to do like everyone else but at least to get a feel for how things are done and how you can express yourself. This isn't about faking and pretending you have opinions you don't have, but just learning the ways. While you're at it, familiarize yourself with all the rules and learn about the moderation. Ask questions if need be. Moderators are human. They may not be any better than you. But they've usually earned their spot because they represent what the site is about, how things should work. They also do this work as volunteers. When moderators are acting as posters, feel free to argue with them like you would with any user. When they act as moderators, understand that they are doing this work for free and just respect their call. If you disagree with it, argue politely, ask questions. If you don't like the particular dynamics of a forum, find a better forum for you.

3) Leave your ego at the door, just have fun

The whole point of posting somewhere is to get something out of it. I like learning about new bands and cool stuff. I also like to share my own opinions. I like debating, but I'm not debating to "win". I'm comfortable with my opinions but I keep an open mind. I don't have ambitions or goals on the forum. Like becoming popular, or making certain people miserable. I don't hold grudges either. It's supposed to be fun. Especially since this isn't a science forum or anything measurable. At one point, it just becomes useless to argue. Maybe someone thinks Bathory rules, maybe I think Bathory sucks balls... who cares? Maybe that person will change their mind eventually, or maybe I'll miraculously find that the Bathory clown had talent. But I ain't going to lose sleep over the fact people think one asshole in his basement was a genius. Never ending arguments that lead nowhere should be avoided. Don't waste energy. For yourself and for the mods. Don't get mad over harmless talks about bands. It's just music!

4)Be yourself

It's tempting to be someone you're not on the internet but preferable to be close to yourself. I talk to people pretty much the same way I would in real life. It's much less stressful that way. Also, this is a small world. You never know when you will meet some of these people. I have in several other forums. It's nice not being ashamed of the things you said when you face someone. It's also nice to network with folks who share a common passion. Anyone who meets me will meet the same guy, holding the same views about music and everything else.

So yeah, don't be an asshole, share stuff, discuss stuff. Don't dwell on shit. Be yourself. Check out how things work on the forum and how mods operate.

ALSO: HUMOR... DON'T TAKE THINGS TOO SERIOUSLY!

That's about it, really.
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In
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2005 5:41 pm
Posts: 208
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 8:24 pm 
 

somberlain93 wrote:
Why do people on forums, not even just this one, so often gang up on anyone they don't fully understand or agree with? It often looks like if someone goes against the grain a bit or says something that isn't popular they get personal attacks and insults and name calling. Is this to run them off so the forum is better filled with likeminded people? That sounds boring. I haven't participated on a forum in about seven years or more but now I tried two or three lately and the same thing happens. I don't troll or do anything stupid, but just trying to start threads that might be a little different to share ideas that I wondered about and I get ganged up on, probably by 14-year olds for all I know. But still, is this something others see here and in other places? If so, why do you think it's so common? What might one do to completely avoid stupid childish name-calling and still be able to share a genuine opinion that might not be understood or widely accepted? What's better etiquette, if that's the right word?

I fully agree with you here. The people on this forum have thrown a massive amount of shit at me simply because I can't afford to buy physical music.

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Morrigan
Crone of War

Joined: Sat Aug 10, 2002 7:27 am
Posts: 9813
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 9:52 pm 
 

Riffs wrote:
I'm little bummed out that the owners and mods have determined Tool is not fit for the archives.
[...] maybe I think Bathory sucks balls...

To think, I used to like you and be so glad you were part of this forum... :(







;)
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Markeri, in 2013 wrote:
you can debate the actual date that metal began, but a fairly agreed upon date is 1969. Metal is almost 25 years old
Extreme_violence wrote:
Why Iron maiden is there? It's very far to be metal than a lot of some metal band.

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Riffs
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2012 1:48 am
Posts: 920
Location: Montréal, Québec
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:17 pm 
 

Morrigan wrote:
Riffs wrote:
I'm little bummed out that the owners and mods have determined Tool is not fit for the archives.
[...] maybe I think Bathory sucks balls...

To think, I used to like you and be so glad you were part of this forum... :(

;)


I know, I know... but everyone has dirty secrets. Mine are not liking Bathory and playing Dungeons and Dragons once in a while :-D

I'm still gonna like you anyway because I don't believe reciprocity is a prerequisite for that kind of stuff :-P
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mjollnir wrote:
Noble Beast's debut album is way beyond MOST of what Priest did in the 80s.

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8966
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:22 pm 
 

God, I think we need to meet, Riffs! I'd like to form a D&D squad in Montréal. PM me if you want :)
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Riffs
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2012 1:48 am
Posts: 920
Location: Montréal, Québec
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:25 pm 
 

Metantoine wrote:
God, I think we need to meet, Riffs! I'd like to form a D&D squad in Montréal. PM me if you want :)


Fuck yeah! On my way!
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mjollnir wrote:
Noble Beast's debut album is way beyond MOST of what Priest did in the 80s.

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ShaolinLambKiller
King Asshole

Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:10 pm
Posts: 12171
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 11:22 pm 
 

Why was I brought up in this discussion, Metantoine? Only reason I found out about this was someone sending me a message about this thread. :/
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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 5019
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2013 12:29 am 
 

ShaolinLambKiller wrote:
Why was I brought up in this discussion, Metantoine? Only reason I found out about this was someone sending me a message about this thread. :/


You have a tendency to be quite blunt in telling people that they are wrong and/or you disagree with them. You're pretty well known too, since you post a lot, have a lot of metal bands/projects, and are one of the best posters in the musicians forum. Don't be offended that you're mentioned, you're a prominent for a few reasons that you know well.

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ShaolinLambKiller
King Asshole

Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:10 pm
Posts: 12171
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2013 12:35 am 
 

I didn't even think i was that well known, I'm not offended by any means. Well that brings a smile to my face! carry on, haha.
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A bunch of mp3s is not a collection of anything.
http://www.cavepaints.com <--Horrid art and musics.
http://www.facebook.com/MaulerCustomCabs <--- huge heavy/loud boxes I build.
http://speedritualrecords.storenvy.com/ Check out my music here

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 5019
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2013 12:45 am 
 

ShaolinLambKiller wrote:
I didn't even think i was that well known, I'm not offended by any means. Well that brings a smile to my face! carry on, haha.


You have 7000 posts and you're one of the most knowledgeable posters in the musicians forum, plus a fair number of other folks recognize one or more of your projects. I think most people who browse these forums will see some of your posts, certainly.

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8966
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2013 12:53 am 
 

I must say that you have improved a lot recently and I certainly don't think you're stupid but like Zodi said, you can be blunt and a bit incendiary in your posts. My first post in this thread was a bit uncalled for.
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ShaolinLambKiller
King Asshole

Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:10 pm
Posts: 12171
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2013 1:11 am 
 

it's okay, I like being 'salty' and honestly I just stopped being as mean since I realized i'm better than everyone who posts things that I view as idiotic...lol, plus it would be like beating a retard for being a retard which I still do on another forum since it's no rules... i'm just meaner over there instead of bringing all that venom over here. I take no offense and it makes me smile to be considered knowledgeable and some people might actually recognize me from some stuff I do... i guess I still think of myself as background noise that just constantly blows forth.. but I guess I should've realized some people know me when I saw my artist page had the added note of 'known as shaolinlambkiller in some circles' that I had nothing to do with adding it.

Sorry for rambling. I love me I suppose.

oh one last thing for the actual topic at hand: 'suck it up'
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http://www.cavepaints.com <--Horrid art and musics.
http://www.facebook.com/MaulerCustomCabs <--- huge heavy/loud boxes I build.
http://speedritualrecords.storenvy.com/ Check out my music here

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Porman
Sweek Souvlaki Muncher

Joined: Sun Mar 06, 2005 5:00 pm
Posts: 1547
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2013 6:21 am 
 

Yeah, me and SLK did a little head butting in the beginning, but hey the man is passionate about his music and his opinions!
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ShaolinLambKiller
King Asshole

Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:10 pm
Posts: 12171
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2013 2:27 pm 
 

I think I've bumped heads with quite a few of the mods to be honest... At least I was able to vent and explain my position regardless if it's unpopular or truelly unwanted. But if I wasn't like that I wouldn't manage to do what I do creatively.
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A bunch of mp3s is not a collection of anything.
http://www.cavepaints.com <--Horrid art and musics.
http://www.facebook.com/MaulerCustomCabs <--- huge heavy/loud boxes I build.
http://speedritualrecords.storenvy.com/ Check out my music here

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somberlain93
I'm not sexist, I have binders full of women friends!

Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2013 12:20 am
Posts: 50
PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 5:51 am 
 

Just got around to seeing this. Thanks for the replies. Some good stuff in there. Will take it all in.
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ShaolinLambKiller
King Asshole

Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:10 pm
Posts: 12171
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 9:53 pm 
 

And it looks like it didn't help much, mr sexist.
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A bunch of mp3s is not a collection of anything.
http://www.cavepaints.com <--Horrid art and musics.
http://www.facebook.com/MaulerCustomCabs <--- huge heavy/loud boxes I build.
http://speedritualrecords.storenvy.com/ Check out my music here

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