On a scale of 1 to bad, this would be bad. Like, really bad.
I'll try to make myself as concise as I can in helping you, though:
* ALWAYS always record to a metronome. If your recording program has a metronome, use that. If it doesn't, add crotchet/quarter snare (or woodblock) notes in your drum machine and loop it for how long your track lasts.
* Use distortion, if you're making black metal. You're very good at tremolo, I'll give you that, but you always need distortion if you're adding blastbeats/double pedal. It isn't a rule of thumb, but right now I want you to make something average, and make it sound good, than something unconventional, and make it sound abysmal. Find an amp that has distortion. Any amp. It'll sound better that this.
* Get a better drum machine/drum samples. MIDI isn't cruise control for cool, and 9/10 times sounds shit, unless the rest of your composition can mask it well.
Here is a plethora of drum samples you can use, all of which sound better than what you've used. Download them all, then unzip the .rar files all at once with either WinRar or 7Zip.
* Don't swallow your mic while trying to record vocals. It is apparent you cannot scream. Keep the mic at least a finger's length away from your mouth. If they sound weak, make them louder and add gain and reverb.
* Listen to ANY atmospheric black metal song (which your song probably isn't, though), or a neoclassical song (which it definitely isn't), copy the riff, and record it. I don't care if it's plagiarism, just do it. It'll give you a better understanding of the music you're trying to create.
* Add more chords and harmonies, at least.
* If you want it to be "dreamy", then without a doubt, add more reverb. There isn't really anything dreamy about this piece.
That's all you need to work on for now. Every single one of these points is critical in this situation if you want to make good black metal. Again, there's more to be said, but work on these first.