So I've been feeling unusually depressive lately due to reasons I wouldn't like to talk about and would like to find music to suit such mindset. I am looking for something sad though relentlessly hateful, like the sort of hatred that arises when we know that we are (at the time being at least) powerless to change our circumstances for the better. I don't have any genres in mind, however something like Celeste seems to fit the bill, though something like a crestfallen Anaal Nathrakh or a homicidal My Dying Bride would also seem appropriate. Furthermore, lyrics about women or music that seems "feminine" in some way would be a huge plus. I am very aware that this is an obscure request, but here's hoping I am being clear enough, otherwise feel free to ask me. Thanks in advance.

Hard to tell if I'm on the right track here, but I'd say Rosetta. The vocals are anguished, and if I remember correctly, the band chose the name intentionally because they felt the feminine name was fitting. Not quite as bombastic as Celeste, but there is a distant similarity in sound. Also, the lyrics don't always directly reference women or a feminized object, but this one does loosely!
http://rosetta.bandcamp.com/track/departe

"Across the forever night,
take me to see her,
the monolith,
that knows the tales,
dwelling inside man,
telling of the names,
dwelling inside me.

Take me to see her,
the monolith,
that knows the tales,
of my own misery,
crying out now."

And if you're comfortable with how slow post-metal can be, Cult of Luna's And With Her Came the Birds might be something you are into
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMaIaHUSAPA

"I pass a crowd on my way to the house on the hill.
Dead man with pitchfork arms tells me all that he knows.
Leave me here for the crows.
In the Fall she came back, and with her the birds."

Yes, I'm familiar with Cult of Luna-Somewhere Along the Highway and some songs in there are definitely along the lines of what I'm looking for. Rosetta I had heard about before, but had yet to check them out and it also fits well, but I want more hatred mixed in, that goes for both bands. Another good comparison of what I want would be Neurosis especially Times of Grace which seems to me like the best balance of sadness and anger. Songs like these are also in the ballpark. Thanks, man.

Check out the band Gigandhi. Maybe give the album "Chaaval" a listen.

I can't recommend this band enough for recs like these, but The Angelic Process has a lot of despair and anger; probably the most I've seen in any band, really. One of the singers is a woman, also:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYtQe2XjkQs

Another recommendation would be Swallow the Sun's "Plague of Butterflies", which in its 35 minutes portrays anger (especially in the 2nd part) and sadness (especially in the third part), and also captures the aesthetic of MDB as well. It's also very female-themed, as you'll see in the storyline:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bb4J4Ihoz3k
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plague_o ... #section_2

Hope this was similar to what you were looking for.

I definitely second Swallow the Sun, try their second latest album "New Moon." It's Death/Doom with a sprinkling of Black metal.

Sleepless Swans for instance, is about to lovers dying just out of arms reach of each other.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qB4x9PqcpU

And if you ever need a bit of a pick-up after all this, I cannot recommend Les Discrets's first album enough. If you listen to the album all the way through, the last track will really stand out. It may be the most comforting song I've ever heard, and listened to in the context of the album, it's hard to feel lost afterwards.

EDIT: I totally forgot about Tentacle. I don't know how, whenever I want something as desperate/angry as Anaal Nathrakh but slower, this is what I go to. Kind of a Doom/Sludge mix, and a little Drone-y, but the vocals and lyrics..... http://tentacle666.bandcamp.com/

If you want sad and dark 'effeminate' metal, then I got a couple of good recommendations for you!

First is Murkrat. Bloody dark and creepy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq0HXh3Wdi0

The same singer is in The Slow Death
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nL-u234Cr0c

Then we have The River.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vPk2r1M7wE

Very familiar with Swallow the Sun and Plague of Butterflies, it is definitely in the lines of what I am looking for, along with Through Her Silvery Body which is also fantastic. The Angelic Process is also fantastic and very spot on, as is Tentacle, whom I believe will gets a lot of spins. The Rosetta rec is also very, very nice. That is the sort of thing I'm looking for. On the other hand, what Goatfangs recommended isn't really what I want right now. Murkrat and The Slow Death are solid but lack the "frustration" I seek at this time. The River I had heard from before and I really, really hated them. Remember that sadness and anger are the musts and the femininity is a bonus.

Also, I will remark that there's a difference between female vocals and feminine themes and music. The vocalist's gender is irrelevant, but a feminine feel to the music or female-related lyrics are encouraged. Thanks for every rec, I hope to see more.

I'm not too far into atmospheric black metal and depressive suicidal black metal so I'm not sure if those genres are what you're looking for.

Here's Wilds Forlorn. Atmospheric Black Metal with classical piano bits. Very mournful and despairing with a bit of anger. Especially in the build up at the end of 'Renouncing the World' and the song 'We, The Damned'.

A few of my personal favorites. Not all in the vein of Black Metal or Melodic Death/Doom.

Subrosa
Sludge/Doom/Stoner Metal with longing, distant female vocals and electric violins instead of lead guitar(there is guitar, but only for rhythm).

Abandon
And amazing band. Mixed Sludge with Funeral Doom, and featuring some of the most tortured vocals on Earth.

Wreck and Reference
This isn't really Metal, though the band use elements of Doom, Drone Metal and Black Metal. Just some sad, dark, tortured stuff.

Have A Nice Life

Giles Corey
Not sure how you feel about more Avant-Garde genres, but these two bands fit the bill perfectly for tortured, unbearably sad stuff. If you like these two bands, I would recommend you check out Enemies List.

you NEED some swans

especially late 80's to late 90's swans

bleak sad depressing devastating yet with a feminine side too

I second this. And there is some anger there too for sure.

Seconding Murkrat. I really enjoy Drudging the Mire. I don't much care for The Slow Death tho, just never really could get into them.

Well, I don't know if this qualifies, because my first rec would have been The Angelic Process, but whenever I'm really depressed, I usually listen to This song, Paysage d'Hiver - Winter.....

However, if we're looking for depression, Gris also qualifies quite well.

Sorry for the delay guys. HeySharpshooter, thank you so much. These are great, great recs, man. About Swans, any album in particular? I've heard a few of their songs but they all sound so different. Paysage d'Hiver I'm familiar with. Grey I wasn't and I'm really impressed. Thanks again to everyone.

Not feeling particularly better, so bump, I guess.

Draconian would fit this, especially on their first two albums. Give the song Death, come near me a listen.

World End's Girlfriend & Mono - Palmless Prayer (it's progressive rock, but sad as fuck)

Familiar with Draconian and the song you recommended. Great song, but I want more hatred, still a good rec. Will check bucephalus' rec and see.

Im thinking about Woods of Desolation and Austere.

Austere: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRsofblEK3A

Woods of Desolation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hAefXXgR4g

PascalE is pretty damn right about WoD:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOkGyrw2_ZA

Very good, however rage is necessary, so not really what I'm looking for right now.

On the other hand, Austere and WoD are spot on. These are excellent, sad, hateful and absolutely visceral. Thank you so much. More recs are welcome.

Their early stuff is more bitter/angry/what have you. Gira's always seemed a bit cutting, but I'll admit I'm not overly familiar with post-Cop, pre-Seer Swans (yeah, a fantastically huge gap in their discography...) So their early stuff is more abrasive and noisy, their new stuff is droney/meditative while still having some power to it. From my understanding, their middle stuff (when Jarboe comes in) gets artsy/folky/psychy... probably a bit more feminine. Out of the albums I can rec:

Filth/Body to Body, Job to Job - Filth is an undisputed classic, and BTB,JTJ is crushing and has some cool Cop demos.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzqaXKBYEGo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYrQTv8U9ns <--- Personal fav.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgZ-8Ow8lYM

Then there's the MASSIVE live album, Public Castration is a Good Idea
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbXF5MU_0F4

And that's the tiny extent of my Swans knowledge.

Oh, and not necessarily feminine or about females, but I'm gonna toss a rec out for Godflesh's incredible Streetcleaner. You can never go wrong there, and I personally find it a great album for depressive anger. It's just got that sort of vibe for me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FugUmWeevgo

Warning & Dystopia

Do yourself a favour and listen to Katatonia's "Brave Murder Day". It seems to be right on spot hitting the feelings and topic you're searching for. For me, it definitely does.

I'll say Swans has (finally) piqued my interest, will delve a little deeper now. Brave Murder Day is the only Katatonia album I've heard in full and it is indeed great, blissfully sorrowful. Will get to Warning and Dystopia as soon as I can. Thanks, guys.

Hypomanie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVHl3PVeodI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUbjBWr1658

Dystopia will be your fav band. Guarenteed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agjf_QK4I9o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYX-fSRa2P4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1g1ZOzJc78

What about some dsbm?

Xasthur - Prison of Mirrors
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaEaEIfKo70

Woods of Desolation - Torn Beyond Reason
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hAefXXgR4g

Shining - Reflecting in Solitude
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpE7HE3tVno

Bethlehem - Tagebuch einer Totgeburt
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QitHMBNerb0

I got lots more recommendations if you're into this stuff...

Also, yeah, Katatonia is a good recommendation, check out "Night is the New Day" especially the song "Departer"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g02DNyBLJo4

If that last song doesn't tug at your heart you have no soul.

Hypomanie is really good, I'll be sure to check previous works, which I will assume are angrier. Warning is definitely sad, but lacking in the anger department; will be sure to see into their work. Dystopia fits like a glove into what I'm looking for, more bands like these are very welcome.

And to Zushakon, I'm familiar with Xasthur, though I never really did enjoy it much, the exception being the very song you posted which is incredible. Woods of Desolation was recommended to me in this very thread and they are great. Shining and Bethlehem are name I've known for years but never got around to checking out until now, and I hate myself for overlooking them for so long. I'd most certainly want to acquire more stuff like this, do you have a last.fm or something? I've yet to check out the Katatonia song because my internet has been a real bitch these past 12 or so hours. Thanks again to everyone.

I don't have a last.fm no, but in terms of recommendations for Bethlehem pick up "Dictius Te Necare" first. Rainer Landfermann is my favourite black metal vocalist of all time! Bethlehem has been unable to keep the same vocalist for more than one album for some reason, so every album has a different vocal feel to it, and Landfermann's is my favourite. For Shining I dunno, really any album is a good place to start. Interestingly enough Niklas Kvarforth did vocals on a remake of Bethlehem's S.U.I.Z.I.D. album called "An Offering to the Kingdom of Heaven in a Cracked Dog's Ear" (which I personally HATE due to Kvarforth's complete unsuitability to the Bethlehem style).

That being said, both bands are good on their own.

Katatonia's newer stuff has turned some people off, as it's entirely different than their old stuff, but it still has great merit as depressive rock/metal. Night is the New Day is my favourite of their "new stuff", though The Great Cold Distance is great too.

If you like Landfermann's Bethlehem era, check out Silencer, it's pretty similar.

Also, I mean for depression's sake Burzum's Filosofem, Det Som Engang Var, and Hvis Lyset Tar Oss are all great.
The song Det Som Engang Var is my favourite out of those albums (it's not on the ALBUM Det Som Engang Var for some reason :s)

Other bands to note are Mortifera, An Autumn For Crippled Children, Coldworld (which I really should have included in my first post), Sun Devoured Earth, Austere, Totalselfhatred, Cold Body Radiation, and Grey Waters.

There's also a fairly unknown group called HangMe that I've found on YouTube, but can't seem to find anywhere else.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1ZaFFIQ ... nQ&index=9

There's a lot of good dsbm out there, you just need a starting point, which I'm happy to provide you with!