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Pr0nogo
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2012 12:20 am
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 12:24 pm 
 

:lol:
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Metantoine
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Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 10:26 am 
 

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TheStormIRide
Jesuscop

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 7:43 pm 
 

That made my day. The title makes it so much better. :lol:
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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 8:13 pm 
 

If the album were truly about bacon, that would be a perfectly acceptable review.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 11:31 pm 
 

Really what is there to say about an Amon Amarth album, though? :p
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6332
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 8:14 am 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Really what is there to say about an Amon Amarth album, though? :p

A rating of 100% for Amon Amarth warrants plenty of explanation, though.
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HouseSpiders
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 388
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 1:27 pm 
 

Image That's one of the best/worst in the entire thread!
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8453
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 3:57 pm 
 

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I know it's mean to post Engrish review, but the content of this one is also very funny!
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
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Location: Finland
PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 4:35 pm 
 

" ... the songs are good, yes, but no would give four stars in itunes."

Firsly, lol. Secondly, his score is almost equivalent to giving each song four stars.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 18601
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:08 pm 
 

"showed to retire to make way for new bands as Korpiklaani and Sabaton"? :lol: Sure...keep living in your delusional world...
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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 5574
Location: Gradec, Austria
PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:21 pm 
 

*korplikaani
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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 5574
Location: Gradec, Austria
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 7:35 pm 
 

For Black Sabbath's "Paranoid":
GriefGravePaid wrote:
awful - 1%
this is the worst album ive ever heard cuz its filled w/ hatred n evil! oh my god how could u ppl listen to this crap!??!! cuz justin bieber would NEVER sing about stuff like this! metal is evil!!!


I was instantly suspicious when I saw a score of 1% for that album in the queue. :P
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oogboog
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 5:09 pm
Posts: 864
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:35 pm 
 

Just 'cause Bieber doesn't sing about it doesn't mean it sucks.

I hope that wasn't one of his 12-year-old fangirls or something. :ugh:
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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:45 pm 
 

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that it's a troll review.
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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 6:47 pm 
 

Yeah, obviously trolling.
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HouseSpiders
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 388
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 12:56 pm 
 

Azmodes wrote:
I was instantly suspicious when I saw a score of 1% for that album in the queue. :P

I'm surprised he didn't give 0%! :D
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Pale_Pilgrim
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 4:01 pm
Posts: 881
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 3:49 pm 
 

It seems that even the most ridiculous of trolls cannot deny that there is inherent value in Sabbath.
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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 5574
Location: Gradec, Austria
PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 11:17 pm 
 

For Crystalium's "Doxa O Revelation":
T_L_VII wrote:
My Doxa - 100%
Why isn't it any review of this album ?
PEPLUM
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9586
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 11:30 pm 
 

Azmodes wrote:
For Crystalium's "Doxa O Revelation":
T_L_VII wrote:
My Doxa - 100%
Why isn't it any review of this album ?
PEPLUM

Peplum? PEPLUM????! YOU MEAN THE CLOTHING???! Wow, :lol:
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 4:43 pm 
 

2 for the price of one today!! O-post black metal is the future, man.
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 10757
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 3:32 am 
 

While he does say "o-post-black" metal, whatever the O stands for (orthodox?), it does make me want to check it out.
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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2525
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 8:22 pm 
 

Spoiler: show
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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 4861
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 8:40 pm 
 

...What?
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MorbidEngel
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:37 pm
Posts: 387
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 1:57 am 
 

All I can get out of that is the 88 possibly being a Nazism reference, given the "infinite", but that's really tenuous and really overthinking it
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
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Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 4:17 am 
 

Depressed Mode's debut album is called Ghosts of Devotion, and they covered "Dunkelheit", which is where the title comes from, but the review itself I've got no idea. :)
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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 5574
Location: Gradec, Austria
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 4:40 am 
 

The 88 reference and overall style would be consistent with the average mental capacity of a (would-be) follower of a certain right-wing ideology. Although it could just as well be that he was trying to be evöl and deep. Unfortunately, the Engrish is not the only thing getting in the way of this.
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6332
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 7:09 am 
 

No, I think the 88 being "two digits of infinite" simply means that he wanted to give it an infinite score, and the number eight looks similar to the symbol of infinity on its side. Two eights either because 8/100 would've been a very low score, or two is as many eights as can possibly be given, and he wanted to rate it as many times infinite as possible.

As for that "something horror", who can tell.
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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 5574
Location: Gradec, Austria
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 7:58 am 
 

So much thought went into this.
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TadakatsuH0nda
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 3:37 am
Posts: 113
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2012 4:14 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
No, I think the 88 being "two digits of infinite" simply means that he wanted to give it an infinite score, and the number eight looks similar to the symbol of infinity on its side. Two eights either because 8/100 would've been a very low score, or two is as many eights as can possibly be given, and he wanted to rate it as many times infinite as possible.

As for that "something horror", who can tell.


What does it all mean?! sawsawboy is clearly forwarding a secret code in the 88, unlocking the secrets of the universe. :o lol
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Derigin
Anthropophagus

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 2413
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 7:42 pm 
 

Wouldn't one 8 be enough infinity ;)

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HouseSpiders
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 388
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:27 pm 
 

But what could be better than one? TWO!
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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 5574
Location: Gradec, Austria
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:46 pm 
 

There are greater and lesser infinities.
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NJMike
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2012 1:12 am
Posts: 101
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:15 pm 
 

CandideCamera wrote:
Review for Taake's "...Doedskvad"

Quote:
Most unimpressive. - 64%
Written by HangmanOfPrague on October 12th, 2005


I must first say I was an eager one to catch this album. I thought yes another great Taake album! But I was sadly mistaken. This is just a complete repeat of Over Bjoergvin Graater Himmelrik. Continueing exactly where ...Over Bjeorgvin... left off. Most unimpressive and disapointing. A few catchy guitar riffs. And still in denial of writing actual english lyrics I see, not good at all. Part III actually did tickle my fancys but I wouldn't suggest purchaseing this album for this one song. My suggestion to you all is download it before purchase. And if you don't like it delete it.


The title - The review

Coincidence?


Oh my god, the spelling.
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oogboog
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 5:09 pm
Posts: 864
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:23 pm 
 

NJMike wrote:
Oh my god, the spelling.

That was from seven years ago, dude. There's been a lot that's far more amusing.
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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2785
Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 8:04 pm 
 

Oogboog: top dog in the special kids' class.
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Derigin
Anthropophagus

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 2413
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 3:15 pm 
 

For Gamma Ray's "Skeletons & Majesties Live":
William Shatner's doppleganger wrote:
To start on something good, many songs, wonderful set list, there're 2 cds, super!
Good over.
If and I mean, *if* you manage to getr past the shiitte sample, spoken, what ever it is first song. I say 'if' because the first time I heard it, I so quickly pressed my player, I hit randomiser and ended up with a track from my daughter's Phineas and Ferb cd. Forget which song, but it was better...
Two days later I ventured back to Skeletons & Majesties.
Sigh I musty quickly (damn I hate reviews where the reviewer gives his/her life story, but sorry...FTR, Kai Hansen has been one pf my favourites from Walls Of Jerico, which I remember ordering from Europe (to Australia) and paying mega extra for the additional tracks version (yeah, I'm no spring chicken...) since then I have loved all Gamma Ray,with some obvious exceptions (the ol', " only good pizza, and great pizza analogy, springs to mind... sigh, or is that sex? Or sex and pixzza??... Now it's Gamma Ray...)
Yeah yeah on with it, Skeletons & Majesties track 2. Arrrggghh, wiythin mere minutes and continuing for the albums entire.... in a nutshell:
- can't decide whether it's a live album gone 'overdub insane', or they (Gamma Ray) have dubbed live sounbd on studio tracks.
It's no Magic Bus,.. It is no representation of a live Gamma Ray show, it's not fun, it is horrible.
I'm thinking someone forgot to mike trhe amps, or load a tape, or press at the gig (or whatever, please feel free to add your specualtion/s ... we could run a competition...) and they (Gamma Ray, label, whoever...) decided, "nevermind, let's just ahhh 'studio' all the missing bits" ... and boy, 'obviously', there is/are a lot (missing)...
I'm gfetting tired of writing bad stuff, and other than the first line, it's all not good.
Want a *live* Gamma Ray? Grab 'Hell Yeah!!!' or even Wacken (Can Youtube it - thank you Larry and Sergey), and enjoy. Skeletons & Majesties, if you wanna hear how bad a live alive can be....


For Evilfeast's "Wintermoon Enchantment":
Overdoing it with the adjectives wrote:
The coldness and the majesty of winter masterfully represented by one man, GrimSpirit. This project Evilfeast delights us with its complex parts while still being raw hearing devices can be complemented with the delight of an atmospheric sound to generate a rarefied atmosphere always unconventional philosophical view according to the concept of having an exceptional winter musician. Evilfeast us back to the dark, but just as his mentor knows how, with a majestic atmosphere where nothing is at random, every melody, every riffs, hypnotic poison is induced from some damn place GrimSpirit soul, or probably a vile infernal potion of Murmur, an ancient demon who feeds on philosophy and music who have left.

In the steppe instrumental, sharp guitar and keyboard become hosts of honor at a perfect complicity to flourish a marvelous aura abysmal, where raw weighings that sometimes seem to fall into a sound extremely invasive in which the master keyboard to enter fill the soft interludes quirurjica so coldly calculated, exactly as the full moon begins to grow from the twilight of dusk to seize the coldest winter nights. GrimSpirit can play with that so egregious subtlety with synthesizers, fully achieving massive and captivating atmosphere, perhaps yielding a sublime tribute to the land of the gods winter cold. The subjects seem to be eternal travel into the bowels of the harsh winter sometimes frivolously as other so emotional and sad, but make no mistake, the music is still bloody and merciless in its particular form as prolifically desolation is Manichaeism sensations.

Something else to note is that the intro and outro are almost as epic instrumental interlude that give the listener an almost ritualistic mysticism or failing a state of reflection, making these sensations add value to work that in itself is already very emotional, which eventually can lead to a feeling of desolation and sadness remarkably poignant.

I think it is necessary, this time, describe the parts of me individually, it is better that you experience your own affable wolves sensation with every cut and therefore winter describe this plot by themselves.

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 10757
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 7:34 pm 
 

2 x :lol:
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8453
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 8:59 pm 
 

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 18601
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 9:03 pm 
 

Well I can't see at all why you wouldn't accept that!
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Xlxlx
May contain traces of nuts

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5234
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 10:41 am 
 

I wouldn't call that review "LOL" though. I'd just say it's pretty poor, in all respects, but I don't find it funny.
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