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King_Hands
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 23, 2009 4:46 am
Posts: 629
Location: Indiana
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 9:20 am 
 

volutetheswarth wrote:
I don't know how making fun of jewish people became acceptable or popular, it really is a mystery to me. You'd have to have some hate for them or find the holocaust to be joke to just casually drop offensive tripe like that.

I guess it's supposed to be "ironic."

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Diz_Buster
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2012 8:22 am
Posts: 8
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 9:49 am 
 

Xlxlx wrote:
Diz_Buster wrote:
(...) I'm not a part of any of the minorities that have had something heinous done to them just for something they were born as, so what do I know?

You know, there's this little thing called "empathy"..... Have you heard about it?

I'm fully capable of empathy and using that capability I have concluded that I wouldn't be offended in even such cases. It just doesn't seem like something that should have any capacity to offend any more or less rational grown-up person. But, I guess you can't know for sure before you really have gone through it. That was my point. Just trying to be diplomatic and shit.

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bronxeel
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2011 12:58 am
Posts: 430
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 10:29 am 
 

Bolt Thrower's "Honour" from Honour Valour Pride is a ballad, right?

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4911
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 10:42 am 
 

We're telling really bad jokes here?

Spoiler: show
Steak and eggs walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast."

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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 5877
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 11:06 am 
 

Jews should never get offended by any jokes.

We'll just tell Obama to send them or their kids off to war. Or cause another financial collapse! OH CREATE A WORSE COMMUNISM!

Also, haven't listened to HVP in a long-ass time...gonna give it a spin now.

Edit: Come on now gents, be honest. You meet a beautiful girl, you get her back to your place, and discover these:

Spoiler: show
Image


Continue....or stop?
_________________
"...when someone tries to talk you into listening to any evil type of music, be it satanic, black metal, King Diamond, or techno, I beg you not to listen to it. Do not even take it into your hands!"

BAPTIST - drone, meditation, ambient

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theposega
Poser Slayer Grindman Arselick Level X

Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2008 9:42 pm
Posts: 2854
Location: Basedworld
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 11:26 am 
 

Terrible jokes?

Spoiler: show
Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He's always getting nailed to the boards.
_________________
Shane Embury's nudes

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Cinerary
Fuckin' killed a guy

Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2002 10:52 pm
Posts: 1406
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 11:31 am 
 

iAm wrote:
HEY GUUISE?! What do you call a baby in a microwave hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr deeerrrr.

Well...

I'm waiting.
_________________
I'm a fluke in the world.

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CorpseFister
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2008 2:07 pm
Posts: 1923
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 12:16 pm 
 

ForNaught wrote:
New Red Dwarf is tonight right? I am excited.


Gah! There are still no plans to air it over here and I don’t want to wait for the DVD release. :(

Back To Earth was weak but still, I can’t help being excited for more Red Dwarf.

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Crick
Despised by 17 Corners of the Universe

Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2008 6:11 pm
Posts: 6205
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 12:31 pm 
 

So after wearing my Yeasayer shirt all day and driving home listening to nothing but Yeasayer, my copies of Odd Blood and Fragrant World arrived in the mail three weeks early.

Thank you, life.
_________________
The_Beast_In_Black wrote:
Hehe, foreskins.

Under_Starmere wrote:
Hehe, hole.

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burnroasted
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:00 am
Posts: 207
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 1:12 pm 
 

A drunken farmer stumbles into his house and up the stairs into the bedroom, waking up his wife, Roseanne. She sees the farmer with a sheep under his arm. The farmer says, “This is the pig I’ve been fucking when youre not around.” The wife stares and then says, “That’s not a pig you idiot. It’s a sheep!” And the farmer says to the wife, “Shut the fuck up! I wasn’t talking to you"

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8786
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 1:20 pm 
 

What's yellow and can pass through wallls?
Spoiler: show
A magic banana :-D
_________________
PhilosophicalFrog wrote:
JESUS CRUST, I didn't know this was the goddamn pizza inquisition.

Metantoine's Magickal Realm
Last.fm
Halberd (doom/death)

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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 5877
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 1:21 pm 
 

What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.

Have you heard about the explosion at a cheese shop in France?
The area is covered in De Brie

Two fish are in a tank.
One says: You drive and ill man the guns!!

Two cannibals are talking on the phone:
"I don't know, I just really don't like my step-mother"
"So just eat the noodles!"

The difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted!

There was a man who said,
"I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late"

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen.
It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.

A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places"
The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore."

WAKA WAKA WAKA
_________________
"...when someone tries to talk you into listening to any evil type of music, be it satanic, black metal, King Diamond, or techno, I beg you not to listen to it. Do not even take it into your hands!"

BAPTIST - drone, meditation, ambient

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TheNiceNightmare
Veteran

Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:11 pm
Posts: 2992
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 1:27 pm 
 

Two parrots sat on a perch. One said to the other: "do you smell fish?"
_________________
Don't play with matches!
Napero wrote:
I can say that Swedish is a very easy language. Not only did I learn it without difficulties, even the Swedes can speak it.

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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5337
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 1:35 pm 
 

How do you make a Kleenex dance? You put a little boogie in it.
_________________
Lair of the Bastard: LATEST REVIEW: Cannibal Corpse - A Skeletal Domain

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Xanzotire
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2012 10:49 am
Posts: 117
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 1:58 pm 
 

Today a young man on acid realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves.

Here's Tom with the weather!
_________________
"What do I know of cultured ways, the gilt, the craft and the lie?
I, who was born in a naked land and bred in the open sky.
The subtle tongue, the sophist guile, they fail when the broadswords sing;
Rush in and die, dogs--I was a man before I was a king." - R. Howard

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Smoking_Gnu
Chicago Favorite

Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 2561
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 2:29 pm 
 

mindshadow wrote:
:)


Smoking_Gnu wrote:
Most of my computer-savant friends have said Asus is a very reliable brand, and they have laptops as cheap as $400.

I won an award once as the first computer I built lasted more than ten years :)


I only had to replace the motherboard, hard drive, graphic and sound cards twice and use 3 cpu's


I thankfully have never had a single major problem with any computer I've owned (or that my family has owned when I lived with them, now that I think about it.) I've gotten BSOD'ed maybe once or twice but that's it, and the comp I built 3 years ago was running perfectly when I sold it (as opposed to my friend, he built his around the same time and had to replace the video card after a year.)

I admittedly realized I shouldn't get cocky on account of this and have recently taken pains to backup all my music projects in several locations...
_________________
henkkjelle on the Dutch wrote:
Actually we have a extra set of appendages protruding out of our lower ribs especially designed for rummaging through our poop. Newborns that do not possess these appendages are thrown of a mountain.

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metaldiscussor666
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Sep 18, 2012 9:09 pm
Posts: 560
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 2:45 pm 
 

I decided i'm going to drop out of my college algebra class today. It's been 5 weeks of absolute torture and I've been not going to classes, because I can't even sit through them.
_________________
http://www.last.fm/user/metaldiscussor


Last edited by metaldiscussor666 on Thu Oct 04, 2012 2:47 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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iAm
Wastelander

Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:18 am
Posts: 5630
Location: West of the Duwamish due South of the Sound
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 2:45 pm 
 

Xanzotire wrote:
Today a young man on acid realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves.

Here's Tom with the weather!

Bill Hicks <3
_________________
iamntbatman wrote:
If the U.N. flew a bunch of C130's over Syria and rained down boxes of Thin Mints, they'd be standing in a giant circle hand-in-hand singing like goddamn Whoville residents within an hour.

I hate music

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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 9637
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 3:02 pm 
 

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. His alcoholism is destroying his family.
_________________
antonthereaper wrote:
Seriously, why ban me??????? That topic had nothing wrong with it! Theres something wrong with you i can tell you! You're immoral banning of my account! Anyways, i'm creating my own metal arcives.

http://extrememetalencyclopedia.webs.com/

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dontlivefastjustdie
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2009 3:16 pm
Posts: 2114
Location: Hotlanta, USA
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 3:07 pm 
 

What does a nosy pepper do?
Spoiler: show
Gets jalapeno business
_________________
SPEWTILATOR - Play Fast // Smoke Grass
NEW 'Goathrower' EP out Feb 14th on Boris Records!
'Ancient Rites of Getting Conjured' split CS w/ Coffin Dust out on Headsplit Rekords!
Ryanimator! - Logos and Artwork

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HouseSpiders
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 394
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 3:26 pm 
 

Probably just me, but the mods remind me of my teachers.
_________________
vacca wrote:
"Pointwhoring is no fun. Pointwhoring endangers the life and happiness of millions. It must stop. We appeal in particular to the youth of today, stop the madness. There are better things in life."

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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 4941
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 3:33 pm 
 

failsafeman wrote:
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

:lol:
_________________
lord_ghengis about Vomitory splitting up wrote:
They were a band who understood music needed more explosions.

http://www.last.fm/user/TheEndTimeRiff
http://halberddoom.bandcamp.com/releases

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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6484
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 3:46 pm 
 

A man enters a bar through the window, the bartender shows him the door.
_________________
"Behold, wizard, for the last time how the sun looks, for henceforth you will watch it with empty sockets!"
Illusions Dead - death/black metal

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burnroasted
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:00 am
Posts: 207
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 3:47 pm 
 

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?

I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.

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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 5877
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 4:04 pm 
 

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

Ok, I'm done here.
_________________
"...when someone tries to talk you into listening to any evil type of music, be it satanic, black metal, King Diamond, or techno, I beg you not to listen to it. Do not even take it into your hands!"

BAPTIST - drone, meditation, ambient

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Metalfuckingrules
The Ralph Wiggum Monologue

Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2012 3:25 pm
Posts: 380
Location: Buried somewhere....
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 4:08 pm 
 

I'm back. How many of you didn't know I was gone for a couple of days.
_________________
My Blog!

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Metalfuckingrules
The Ralph Wiggum Monologue

Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2012 3:25 pm
Posts: 380
Location: Buried somewhere....
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 4:09 pm 
 

Also, what did I miss?
_________________
My Blog!

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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 5877
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 4:10 pm 
 

Puns, two liners, racism, Eternal Winter getting banned, plagiarism, the Presidential debates, I revealed my Jewish heritage, and Morrigan and Hellblazer posted pictures of themselves, also as it turns out ShaolinLambKiller is not a giant man, but a super sexy lady, those pics were just a front.
_________________
"...when someone tries to talk you into listening to any evil type of music, be it satanic, black metal, King Diamond, or techno, I beg you not to listen to it. Do not even take it into your hands!"

BAPTIST - drone, meditation, ambient

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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 4941
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 4:17 pm 
 

I already know what Morrigan and HellBlazer look like ;)
Also, he's lying about his Jewish heritage. He wears a prosthetic nose in his pictures because he's psychotic.
_________________
lord_ghengis about Vomitory splitting up wrote:
They were a band who understood music needed more explosions.

http://www.last.fm/user/TheEndTimeRiff
http://halberddoom.bandcamp.com/releases

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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 5877
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 4:18 pm 
 

Indeed, I am. It's why I take pictures of me in a wig, dresses and makeup with my dick tucked between my legs and send them to Necro.

I just want him to love me. Why did he leave MFR? Why am I always alone?
_________________
"...when someone tries to talk you into listening to any evil type of music, be it satanic, black metal, King Diamond, or techno, I beg you not to listen to it. Do not even take it into your hands!"

BAPTIST - drone, meditation, ambient

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8786
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 4:19 pm 
 

Necroticism174 wrote:
I already know what Morrigan and HellBlazer look like ;)

Lies! all because of me!

Feels good being back at the univ, booze, sexy girls, cool people 'n shit.
_________________
PhilosophicalFrog wrote:
JESUS CRUST, I didn't know this was the goddamn pizza inquisition.

Metantoine's Magickal Realm
Last.fm
Halberd (doom/death)

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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 4941
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 4:28 pm 
 

PhilosophicalFrog wrote:
Indeed, I am. It's why I take pictures of me in a wig, dresses and makeup with my dick tucked between my legs and send them to Necro.

It rubs the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again.
_________________
lord_ghengis about Vomitory splitting up wrote:
They were a band who understood music needed more explosions.

http://www.last.fm/user/TheEndTimeRiff
http://halberddoom.bandcamp.com/releases

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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2603
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 4:54 pm 
 

Metantoine wrote:
Necroticism174 wrote:
I already know what Morrigan and HellBlazer look like ;)

Lies! all because of me!

Feels good being back at the univ, booze, sexy girls, cool people 'n shit.

God, I wish I was. I hate being holed up in my empty place all the time. I miss the buddies, chicks, alcohol, fun...I'm so bored it's not even funny.
_________________
Ismetal wrote:
GuntherTheUndying IS THE GAY NUMBER 1, HE DOESNT LIKE TO READ THE TRUTH, SO I THINK THIS PAGE IS FOR GAYS WHO WANTS TO READ MESSAGES LIKE "I LOVE MY BAND", "THEY ARE MY LOVE"

Thrashpit
Last FM

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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 5877
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 4:57 pm 
 

^ same. I'm converting it to writing...boredom is no good.
_________________
"...when someone tries to talk you into listening to any evil type of music, be it satanic, black metal, King Diamond, or techno, I beg you not to listen to it. Do not even take it into your hands!"

BAPTIST - drone, meditation, ambient

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iAm
Wastelander

Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:18 am
Posts: 5630
Location: West of the Duwamish due South of the Sound
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 5:18 pm 
 

Video Games here. I've actually gotten way into Sim City... To the point where I make custom buildings in 3dsmax and photoshop(which uh never end up working).

Oh and booze. I guess it isn't all bad though, the girls here are as bored as I am if you know what I mean :P
_________________
iamntbatman wrote:
If the U.N. flew a bunch of C130's over Syria and rained down boxes of Thin Mints, they'd be standing in a giant circle hand-in-hand singing like goddamn Whoville residents within an hour.

I hate music

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Violent_Possessor
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 4:53 pm
Posts: 238
Location: New York
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 6:22 pm 
 

burnroasted wrote:
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?

I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.


It's supposed to be jelly and jam. It makes more sense then peanut butter.
_________________
Pentu- Harsh noise/power electronics
Check out my blog Lies in Czech: Reviews and music

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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8514
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 6:24 pm 
 

Holy shit, Tuska 2013 will have Bolt Thrower and King Diamond!
_________________
Chest wounds suck (when properly inflicted).
-Butch-

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inhumanist
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:09 pm
Posts: 4343
Location: 50 Forts Along The Rhine
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 6:51 pm 
 

Drunk man enters taxi, tells the driver "central station". Driver: "We ARE at central station!" Drunk man gives him 10 bucks; "no need to hurry that much next time."

Am I too late? I always am.
_________________
Metantoine wrote:
If Summoning is the sugar of fantasy metal, is Manowar the bacon?
CorpseFister wrote:
Personally, I prefer to know nothing of the esoteric hierarchy of MA and the profane rituals required to attain rank.

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VoidApostle
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:00 pm
Posts: 200
Location: Within The Vacuum of Infinity
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 7:12 pm 
 

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? "See you next month." *Is pulled off stage by a cane*

Edit: Ooh, look at that. I'm a Metal Newbie. I feel slightly less out of place now.

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kingnuuuur
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:35 pm
Posts: 2128
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 7:19 pm 
 

PhilosophicalFrog wrote:
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"

Nice gotcha :lol:

This reminds me of the time when I was on a plane as it entered a zone of very strong turbulence. Amidst the shaking and the rumbling, we suddenly heard some thumping footsteps and the next thing we saw was the shadow of a flight attendant sprinting to the back of the plane like a madman trying to outrun an RPG. The lights were still out, everyone became anxious, babies started to cry and shit quickly started to feel really uncomfortable, and some people were expecting oxygen masks to drop down any second. A few moments later, someone in the back row saw the attendant coming out and asked him what the fuck was going on, and the guy said "Oh, no worries. I haven't had a shit in 3 days and all this rumbling just made my bowels move a bit."

Complaints were filed that day.

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