In the past two months, Tony told me that I misspelled the third word in a review, and Nightgaunt pointed out that I misspelled something in the title. I write the intro last, and then the title is usually an afterthought, as I can't get too creative with it.

I'm touched the little nod meant something to you guys. I used to do a fair amount of documenting the reviewing side of the Metal-Archives; it's probably a very good thing the several thousand word top twenty reviewers list I half-finished writing for some past MA anniversary never saw the light of day, because it would've been just about the most self-indulgent thing to ever appear on this forum, and I'm including requiem99's various odes to himself and the Biblical floods that happen every time Hells_Unicorn feels the need to justify himself to someone.



Sorry bud, by the time you started to get really good I'd pretty much stopped updating that list, which is why I deleted the last time I freshened up my profile. If the list still existed, you'd be on it, if that means anything to you!

EDIT: Well hell, I guess I didn't delete it after all. http://www.metal-archives.com/users/OlympicSharpshooter

Tis not a big deal at all, but I was going to say OSS, your Don't Break The Oath review is one of the site's best.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... /danmarder

The blind Manojob-fanboyism gushing from this review is sickening. I swear I remember it being mentioned somewhere.


Wow

I felt that way too when I first read it. Surprisingly, fanboy-isms aside, he does describe the music. Such apt and poignant descriptions. For example:



and




Stupid quotes aside, there's more musical description than a lot of garbage that comes through, but it is lacking. But... those fanboy lines drive me up a freaking wall!

Yeah I wasn't going to deny his descriptions, but it's like the writings of a diehard Manowar fan we've only heard of. The kind that, with no hint of messing around, would call metal a "brotherhood". Like another heavymetalbackwards / FBW / Lippyass.

Oh, and I knew I saw the review somewhere else - the oven fodder thread yesterday.

Cheers!

Hello! I wanted to point out that I wrote a review for Brain Drill - Apocalyptic Feasting on September 4th, and it's still pending. Maybe the mods forgot it? If they were busy and could not moderate the review until now, I apologise.

That's only 5 days, yours will have to wait since you're impatient.

Pretty much the general rule of thumb is that if your review hasn't been moderated yet, don't ask about it, it just gets under the mods' skin. The queue can get really backed up at times, depending on how many mods are working it and how much time they have to do so. Also, if the review is for a well reviewed album like Apocalyptic Feasting (with 19 reviews already), oftentimes we'll put it aside and get to it later after we've tackled less covered stuff.

I'm really sorry.

The other reviews were moderated lightning-fast so I guess I was unaccostumed to normal moderation time.
I was not aware of that "rule", I should have checked out before.

Once again, I apologize

Don't sweat it, it's no biggie. We'll get to it when we get to it, sometimes it takes a few days, sometimes you're lucky and you'll submit it right when a mod is working in there. I've waited three weeks and I've waited five minutes, you just never know.

Positive reviews, especially in the "pretty good/decent" range, are usually boring and uninteresting to write, extremely good albums deserve well-written and in-depth reviews to do the music justice and are thus long and difficult projects, and while the most entertaining to write, reviewing shitty albums involves listening to shitty music.

How do you find the motivation?

"Well-written and in-depth" reviews are not necessarily long, difficult projects. I write most of my reviews in under an hour, and I've gotten a couple of 8-pointers. It just depends on how comfortable you are with writing and describing music, I guess.

Yeah, I usually find that (after a few listens) I get a review for an album done before the album finishes - and I've reviewed both 20-minute EPs and longer-than-an-hour LPs. It's really a matter of how masterful you are with the English language (diction, comfort with writing, etc.) and how well you know the album.

That being said, there are plenty of albums that just stump me or I just procrastinate and don't review until later. I'm a lazy prick like that.

The new Cryptopsy has the highest average since None So Vile. That can't be right...

Some negative reviews will pour in shortly......but I never noticed how low Cryptopsy's general album ratings are:

Whisper Supremacy Full-length 1998 16 (74%)
And Then You'll Beg Full-length 2000 14 (63%)
Once Was Not Full-length 2005 13 (77%)
The Unspoken King Full-length 2008 15 (16%)



Then again, folks might be a little inclined to bump those ratings a bit because of their artistic surge back from pooville. Just a personal theory of mine, is all.

I expected this honestly. I haven't heard the album myself but from what I could gather it's a step back towards Once Was Not and And Then You'll Beg, so of course it's getting positive reviews purely due to the depths of the last album. It'll even out eventually, this happens with most big name releases.

I do agree with that theory. The will of wanting to go from 0 to 100 in one release is clearly showing off.

Up to nine reviews now, still at 81% average.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Xothist/Xothist/326568/
Wow ... just wow ...

That review is pretty messed up in the head, but who cares about being messed up when we're talking black metal? The writing is just white noise just as the sounds of the album apparently!

Update on that review: MMA has decided to delete it for "profanity" and use of the word "fruity". Such white guilt.

What do you mean? It's still there.

On an unrelated note, does no one write less than raving reviews for the new Cattle Decapitation album? 98% on 8 reviews with six of them being 100% scores???

Not this site, this one.

Oh, now I get it.

"fruity: Something that seems odd or queer. Not neccesarily 'gay'."

With that being said I actually don't get it. Internet reviews now get censored on accounts of possibly, but not really, relating to homophobia?! People have weird standards I must say. You can say "fuck" and "shit" all you want but let's not hint at the possibility of something maybe or possibly being deemed as "gay".

Ugh, I know. Same goes for Koloss - it's a steaming pile of shit, but it's seen nothing but blind, glowing praise so far.

I started writing a review of Koloss, but I think I need to explain my position with a lot of detail.

Proof that MA is better, eh!

Any of you guys interested in a review challenge?

I'd be down for that, I have yet to participate in one.

I'm beginning to feel that way. I've been posting my reviews first to this site now instead of there. Anyway, what is this challenge all about?

Just throwing the idea, to see if there's enough people who wants in. I'm thining of themes right now and I'm opened to suggestions.

Also, you're a traitor, Wily!!!

Yeah, I'm down. Are we talking about the now-defunct zero-review albums like before, or something different?

I guess, this or a Soulfly review challenge! We need lots of people though.

lol no

It would be hilarious!!! Me and Gunther are talking about it, feel free to offer themes.

Well, I've never participated in a review challenge and I've barely written jack shit for a long while now, so I'd be open to almost anything.

How about writing reviews for albums that haven't had any reviews posted for it here in over a year. Maybe two years if you're really daring.

The original point of the challenges was to add to the site in the form of reviews for albums with none. A Soulfly challenge would result in me hunting down everybody who participated and punching them in the nose.

What's wrong with a bit of humour, eh, I get it, it's not a good idea, no need to threaten anyone! I know what was the point of the old challenges, nothing wrong with themes and innovation either. I'm thinking of doing a poll with 4 or 5 different options including the Classic Mode. Again, any good suggestions are gonna be considered.

Oh, and I have rewards for the winners!

I'll join.

@Cattle Decapitation, that album is actually pretty sweet. Obviously, this is all opinion, so... shit.