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oogboog
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 5:09 pm
Posts: 865
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 4:33 pm 
 

Here was the original post. Someone sigged it, too. Man, I wish I was older, to be able to experience these reviews as they come.
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wrath of poo wrote:
but not sub-genes of death metal ( like grindcore and black metal).

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Derigin
Anthropophagus

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 2466
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 3:22 pm 
 

Ah, getting back into this thread:

For Luzbel's "Metal Caído del Cielo"
A class act interpreter wrote:
That I can think of this album, simply listen to know that setrata. Great from lyrical questions, I interpretative music.

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oogboog
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 5:09 pm
Posts: 865
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 3:29 pm 
 

A class act interpreter wrote:
Simply listen to know that setrata

What's a setrata? :???: Needs to work on his grammar, too.
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wrath of poo wrote:
but not sub-genes of death metal ( like grindcore and black metal).

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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2549
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 12:46 pm 
 

dethax wrote:
Metal To The Bone Hellyeah. - 30% edit

This Kind of Music Very Similiar Than "Living Death". Because They Are Speed & Thrash Metal Band From Lebanon.
Perhaps It's The Best Speed Metal Band From Middle East


Cool story bro.
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Ismetal wrote:
GuntherTheUndying IS THE GAY NUMBER 1, HE DOESNT LIKE TO READ THE TRUTH, SO I THINK THIS PAGE IS FOR GAYS WHO WANTS TO READ MESSAGES LIKE "I LOVE MY BAND", "THEY ARE MY LOVE"

Thrashpit
Last FM

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4806
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 1:05 pm 
 

How often do you have people submitting a few broken sentences as a review?

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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2549
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 1:24 pm 
 

It depends. Sometimes we'll get several, sometimes not any for a week or so. They are a blast to read though, and I semi-frequently lose my shit when reading them.
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Ismetal wrote:
GuntherTheUndying IS THE GAY NUMBER 1, HE DOESNT LIKE TO READ THE TRUTH, SO I THINK THIS PAGE IS FOR GAYS WHO WANTS TO READ MESSAGES LIKE "I LOVE MY BAND", "THEY ARE MY LOVE"

Thrashpit
Last FM

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8616
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 3:20 pm 
 

This one made my day! I don't think he heard Sad Wings...
Image
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9672
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 3:27 pm 
 

That review is bland as hell but is it really worthy of this thread? Looks like the guy's crazy as catshit more than being a poor writer.
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5213
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 3:39 pm 
 

Yeah the point of this thread isn't really for silly or misinformed opinions. It's more for ridiculously, obscenely, preposterously awfully written reviews. Grains in her face and what a sex! type stuff.
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Lair of the Bastard: LATEST REVIEW: Tengger Cavalry - Ancient Call

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HouseSpiders
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 389
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 3:43 pm 
 

I don't think that review was worth a post in here, I'm sure mods have rejected MUCH worse submissions than that one! That review was much better than what my reviews would be like.

Someone, editing my post wrote:
Don't write reviews, HouseSpiders, please.
_________________
vacca wrote:
"Pointwhoring is no fun. Pointwhoring endangers the life and happiness of millions. It must stop. We appeal in particular to the youth of today, stop the madness. There are better things in life."


Last edited by HouseSpiders on Tue Aug 14, 2012 4:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8616
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 3:52 pm 
 

In my opinion, it doesn't need to be a badly or poor written review to be posted, anyway, it doesn't have any musical description and it's largely laughable. It doesn't need to be in Engrish or vulgar to be made fun of either. This one stays, I asked the opinion of some other mods (except BH who's being a cunt!) and they agreed. I disagree that it needs sex jokes to be crappy.

HouseSpiders, please don't write reviews! :-D (now at the right place)
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CrimsonFloyd
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 29, 2004 7:19 am
Posts: 381
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 3:59 pm 
 

"...best concept album ever recorded in the history of mankind!" :lol:

Personally I am glad that was posted.

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HouseSpiders
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 389
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 4:09 pm 
 

Metantoine, was that you who edited my post and wrote "Don't write reviews, HouseSpiders, please"? I know I didn't write that! If it was you, you'll be pleased to know that I absolutely hate writing reviews, so I doubt I'll ever write any!
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vacca wrote:
"Pointwhoring is no fun. Pointwhoring endangers the life and happiness of millions. It must stop. We appeal in particular to the youth of today, stop the madness. There are better things in life."

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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5213
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 4:14 pm 
 

HouseSpiders wrote:
Metantoine, was that you who edited my post and wrote "Don't write reviews, HouseSpiders, please"? I know I didn't write that! If it was you, you'll be pleased to know that I absolutely hate writing reviews, so I doubt I'll ever write any!


Haha, somebody missed the quote button :lol:
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8616
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 4:26 pm 
 

Oh shit :brick: I need to stop waking up at 2 pm :(
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Metantoine's Magickal Realm - Wings of Metal 2014 review
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Halberd (doom/death)

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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2549
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 4:37 pm 
 

For Pantera's Vulgar Display of Power.
mauroadlucca wrote:
Classic!! - 100%
The Review title says everything: perfect!! That's all!!
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Ismetal wrote:
GuntherTheUndying IS THE GAY NUMBER 1, HE DOESNT LIKE TO READ THE TRUTH, SO I THINK THIS PAGE IS FOR GAYS WHO WANTS TO READ MESSAGES LIKE "I LOVE MY BAND", "THEY ARE MY LOVE"

Thrashpit
Last FM

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9672
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 4:39 pm 
 

Now THAT'S worthy of this thread. Holy hell. :lol:
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2549
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:04 am 
 

This just came in and I'm dying.
Quote:
En Vivo! - 94%
When i first listened to ,,En Vivo!i was suprised. It's very good- but it have poorer moments (don't lie- the newest Maiden's albums ain't best metal records). From ,,The Final Frontier'' very good is only ,,The Talisman'' and maybe ,,El Dorado''. Rest shall just maybe... rest in peace.

Maiden's are hellish good in refreshing they slightly forgotten numbers, like ,,Dance of Death'', ,,The Wicker Man''- and (one of the best in whole two CD's) ,,Running Free''. On ,,En Vivo!'' classic Maiden's number is closing whole album (like in ,,LIve After Death'' or ,,Live At Donnington''), and it closes it with motherfuckin' desire to listen other lives.

Other songs are also on very high metal level (except ,,When the Wild Wind Blows'', ,,Coming Home'', ,,Satellite 15'', and ,,The Final Frontier'', wchich are slightly below the ,,Metal Awesomes'' bar. ) The virtuosity in ,,The Evil...'', ,,2 Minutes To...'' bring you back in the 80's. Numbers 5. and 6. (,,Iron Maiden'' and ,,The Number of The Beast'') are fresh and motherfuckin' good. ,,Hallowed be Thy Name'' has power and mysterious aura. ,,Blood Brothers'' are incredibly beautiful... The magic of Maiden on this album is extremely powerful...

Finishing, this album has the incredible aura, and power of old Maiden's classics. In my Maiden's lives rank it have second place (after ,,Live at Donnington'').
HAIL TO MAIDEN!
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Ismetal wrote:
GuntherTheUndying IS THE GAY NUMBER 1, HE DOESNT LIKE TO READ THE TRUTH, SO I THINK THIS PAGE IS FOR GAYS WHO WANTS TO READ MESSAGES LIKE "I LOVE MY BAND", "THEY ARE MY LOVE"

Thrashpit
Last FM

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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2785
Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:28 am 
 

All live albums should seek to close with motherfuckin' desire to listen other lives.
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Guitarpro77889 wrote:
which ones are mainstream cuz i will stop listening to them

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Dave_o_rama
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 11:54 am
Posts: 544
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:35 am 
 

"Other songs are also on very high metal level" :lol: Good shit.
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hippiedrow, on the new Skeletonwitch album wrote:
I remember back when Beyond the Permafrost came out. I was eating a lot of Asian wok-style foods, so now whenever Skeletonwitch is mentioned I get the pleasant taste of noodles in my mouth.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 2043
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 10:51 am 
 

"slightly below the 'Metal Awesomes' bar". :) I'm probably going to use that. I also like "Rest shall just maybe .. rest in peace." :lol: Broken English is so good some times.

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9672
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 11:14 am 
 

GuntherTheUndying wrote:
This just came in and I'm dying.
Quote:
... and it closes it with motherfuckin' desire to listen other lives.

I stopped here from laughter. Wow, Gunther gets the best ones. :lol:
_________________
gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8616
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 3:28 pm 
 

Favoritism, Ozzy. We all know you're sleeping with Gunther, stop denying it!
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Halberd (doom/death)

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9672
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 3:49 pm 
 

Bears don't sleep with other bears. Just how the game works.
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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Derigin
Anthropophagus

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 2466
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:47 pm 
 

That's not what gay porn proves...

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TheNiceNightmare
Veteran

Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:11 pm
Posts: 2975
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 1:54 am 
 

Derigin wrote:
That's not what gay porn proves...

How much gay porn would one view to reach this conclusion?
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Don't play with matches!
Napero wrote:
I can say that Swedish is a very easy language. Not only did I learn it without difficulties, even the Swedes can speak it.

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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2785
Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:34 am 
 

TheNiceNightmare wrote:
Derigin wrote:
That's not what gay porn proves...

How much gay porn would one view to reach this conclusion?

Depending on the type of gay porn you watch, as little as seven seconds.
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Guitarpro77889 wrote:
which ones are mainstream cuz i will stop listening to them

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8616
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:40 am 
 

Hopefully, my secret sex tape will never leak. I don't want derigin to be ashamed of his abilities after all...
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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 3999
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:46 am 
 

Metantoine wrote:
Hopefully, my secret sex tape will never leak. I don't want derigin to be ashamed of his abilities after all...

Is this the 7-second video mentioned above?
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Anime Reviews every two weeks!
Artwork once or twice a year!
M-A reviews every leap year!
Last.fm all day long!

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8616
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 10:29 pm 
 

Zodi is doing some field work and he found this one, I nuked it and here it is:
Image
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japc
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Apr 30, 2004 10:35 pm
Posts: 501
Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:18 am 
 

I must say I agree with all he said (except with the score, it should have been less). Not much juice though.
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8616
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 11:55 pm 
 

The album is awful but this review is almost worse
Image

Also about Maiden's AMOLAD
"Several highly negatively inclining reviews were posted on this site making the overall score, objectively less than deserved, but hey this is not the site of the professional reviewers and QoS filters, obviously, so that the listener could expect their subjectivity or much more preferable their objectivity, faithfully demonstrated. Even though I respect other opinions as much they deserve that privilege, here, most of the given reviews are just pure gibberish spewed on the limited amount of listening, closed mindedness and impotence in an absorption of the 2006 Iron Maiden's expose of revolutionized sound"

Fuck that guy.

That guy didn't like BH's rejection comment, I guess. Man, Lifelover is Transcendent Black Metal, eh!
Image
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HouseSpiders
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 389
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 6:30 am 
 

Haha :lol: the second one's brilliant.
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vacca wrote:
"Pointwhoring is no fun. Pointwhoring endangers the life and happiness of millions. It must stop. We appeal in particular to the youth of today, stop the madness. There are better things in life."

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Derigin
Anthropophagus

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 2466
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:06 pm 
 

For Toxic Hate's "Poisoned Nations Holocaust":
fuck pseudonyms wrote:
TOXIC HATE “Poisoned Nations Holocaust”

Concreto Records

Hell!! This is one of my favorite debut albums of this year. Everybody knows that this “Hatemaster” (Urique Quiñones) has been involved in Big names of the extreme metal scene coming from Aztec lands, like LUST, PULVERIZED, GENOCIDE or ACRIMONIA. Well, this is his personal project and is nothing less than a pure fucking brutal death metal full of blood, hate (of course…) and complex guitar riffs. This musician seems to consider the fact that the genre is over saturated, and managed to create a quite good beast with own personality, which is on the highway to feed the new generation of brutality in Mexico. Urique is very influenced by all these obscured American death metal bands from early 90’s, as I find morbid stench and some raw riffs full of aggressiveness and power like in “Soul Entourage” (Great solos BTW), which also added excellent guitar lines, delivering a caustic punch of sickness. Yeah! But he also managed a great sound which reminds me a lot the “Polish” modern style, you know, rotten but full of technique. Another aspect I liked is that he (as producer and one man recording) gave a good place for the bass sound and the “click” is fairly remarkable; you know this powerful “crunch” sound only EMG pickups can deliver when the Bass guitar is tuned low as hell. Bass solo in “Merciless Empire” is the best example for this. My favorite one is the last track “Poisoned Nations Holocaust”, and first section reminds me early HYPOCRISY stench mixed with the sublime darkness of ASPHYX and really explodes my head. As far as I know, vocalist “Erradicator” is an old warrior from Mexican underground. Here he did an excellent work, giving this totally bloodbath effect to the Opus. Ok, fuck pseudonyms!! His name is Ivan “Bloodhunter” and his fucking red blood throat is well known by everybody, hehehe!! It’s an excellent debut album, for those who’d like to taste the toxic blood and sickness.

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DarthVenom
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2003 10:56 am
Posts: 611
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 7:43 pm 
 

Quote:
TOXIC HATE “Poisoned Nations Holocaust”

Concreto Records

Hell!!


A part of me kind of wishes that this had been the entire review. Maybe it's just me.

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8616
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 3:47 pm 
 

Image

Born of Osiris is black metal now? mkay
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Metantoine's Magickal Realm - Wings of Metal 2014 review
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Halberd (doom/death)

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Pr0nogo
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2012 12:20 am
Posts: 85
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 1:14 pm 
 

...lol
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-Pr0nogo
Pronogo@hotmail.com

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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8616
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 6:09 pm 
 

For the new The Facelees, crappy jokes for the crappy diem

Quote:
This album is a joke 10% :

Wow, this Keene kid is really full of himself. Guess he thinks his band is going to be the next Opeth. it is unfortunate that his vocals are not soulful, but incredibly narcissistic. The album is dripping wet with clean vocals smeared all over every track like shit on the walls of a padded cell. I had high hopes for The Faceless after their last album released, I really did. My thought was they would take another step forward as a band, but it looks like they went the other direction. The one halfway redeemable song on this CD is "Hymn of Sanity" which, of course barely, passes the one minute thirty second mark. Plus all the riffs in that track sound like they were lifted directly off of Severed Savior's previous works. They took some major risks on this CD and have achieved a lot of failure. I am sure all the kids and n00bs will like this CD, and certainly the fan boys. However the hardened metal heads that may have been able to tolerate the previous release, will undoubtedly not give a shit about this band anymore.
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oogboog
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 5:09 pm
Posts: 865
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 6:31 pm 
 

Quote:
However the hardened metal heads that may have been able to tolerate the previous release, will undoubtedly not give a shit about this band anymore.

Hardened metalheads? :scratch: That must be new.
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wrath of poo wrote:
but not sub-genes of death metal ( like grindcore and black metal).

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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2785
Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 6:39 pm 
 

oogboog wrote:
Quote:
However the hardened metal heads that may have been able to tolerate the previous release, will undoubtedly not give a shit about this band anymore.

Hardened metalheads? :scratch: That must be new.

 :durr:

Hint: click the facepalming emote.
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Guitarpro77889 wrote:
which ones are mainstream cuz i will stop listening to them

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