*applause*


That would require intelligence and empathy, I think you're asking too much.


I thought those were bad... then I had a brief peek. And... wow. X Factor is the best Maiden album, and it and Virtual XI are better than the s/t. In fact, Iron Maiden s/t isn't as good as a bunch of In Flames, In Extremo, Nightwish and Alestorm albums, or even Illud Divinum Insanus. And Jugulator is a masterpiece and Priest's best albums. Fucking seriously, dude...?

To paraphrase George Carlin, there's nothing that can't be made fun of, no matter what it is. If "bad taste" was really a valid reason to not make a joke, we wouldn't have gems like this:

There's a time and a place for making fun of events, but with one so fresh in memory? Only clowns, dipshits, and attention-whores find it entertaining. Who cares about "when" it becomes acceptable; it just does. Right now though, it's not funny. Just the work of clowns, dipshits, and attention-whores feeding their fellow clowns, dipshits, and attention-whores.

I think the main point here is in relation to the overall relevancy of "shock" value in reviews, and I think the last few posts speak for themselves.

There's timing, and then there's forcing a tasteless joke into a review of music. I skipped over stuff like this on Facebook and there's probably an off-color comment or two in the FFA, but you really must find a better outlet for your nonsense than adding it into reviews. Spilling out your libertarianism into a review of Iced Earth might be convenient, because: 1) Iced Earth fans might actually care about both subjects of that review, 2) there's no "comment" button on reviews and most people can't seem to find the place to comment on reviews, 3) most people probably skip to the next one. This doesn't mean it's a good idea to shoehorn your philosophy and other bullshit into your reviews.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/P ... hRiderDoom

Holy fucking shit. When I saw something I've literally never heard crowned 'the pinnacle of the USPM' movement, and then went on to see that a reliable source like DRD said so... tears literally came to my eyes. No joking.

I'm getting this right now. I will be listening all day at work tomorrow.

You had not listened to that? Shame on you. Shame. On. You.

I know. I'm worthless and weak. Time to fix that.

Never heard that one either, where can I find it anyway?

Regarding the whole h_u "shock value" thing: hasn't he always been a proponent of "description first, gimmicky stuff second" in his review writing?
Strange how these things work out.

Also @ the DRD review: god damn it what the hell is the point of signing your name at the end of a review when your username is literally right below it? The only way this is excusable is if he cross-posted that on another website or something where it's necessary to distinguish one poster from another, but it still peeves me.

That's kind of pedantic, dude, I know DRD is using RYM a lot, maybe that's why.

Actually, I'm not quite so big on As Darkness Reigns as some of the other guys around here. There are great riffs and cool vocals, but the songwriting itself is a bit lacking. Very clunky, not quite coherent enough. It seems they were trying to be more prog than they should have, and the music suffers for it.

Figured as much. Also of course it's pedantic; that's what the review discussion thread is all about!

I have a review on my blog that I want to post on this site but im having trouble with the link. When I preview the review the word appears as a link but I cannot click on it. Will it work after it is posted or is there something wrong?
I'm trying to use the:
<a href="the url of the website">"what you want the word to be"</a>

I wasn't sure about putting this here or in the Oven Fodder, but since I placed the last case of this here I'll repeat the dose.

With that being said, what the fuck is going on with these new Samael reviews? Now it's these two who are again a bad case of copy-paste:

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... /nemesis21
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... ll/340842/

Obviously the Samael review is the bogus, but this is the second time this week. First it was Lux Mundi/Nothing and now COO/TSBYF??? What the hell is going on around here?! Is this happening solely with Samael or has anyone else noticed chopped up zombie reviews like these?

Seriously WTF?!

I use this and it works alright:

<b>Originally written for and posted at <a href="site URL">Riff Magazine</a></b>

It appears like on here.

Thanks androdion, I figured out it was just a typo.

While I would consider this Grave's best album in recent years, I still really like RapeTheDead's negative one for As Rapture Comes. Lays out his points very well, and I do agree in part.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/G ... apeTheDead

Wow, had no idea he was doing reviews. The writing quality of that review was really, really high. Judging by that review as well as his Gris review I just checked out, he should do it more often.

Yeah, He's a great reviewer, a pleasure to read and approve his reviews. One of the best Canadian reviewers along with you, dystopia.

Thanks . On the subject of Canadian reviewers, are you gonna do some more? That Castle one was sick.

Thanks, yeah, I should, I never know what to review,but I made a short list. I'll try to write 3 or 4 before the end of the summer. One is the latest Witch Mountain.

Hate to quote myself but the Samael review is still there...

You know, I thought it was odd that there was another Samael review from another nobody so quickly after the last incident, but I didn't do any detective work when I accepted it. Lo and behold, it's the same doofus. I should learn to trust my gut a bit better, I suppose

Anyway, he'll soon be trampled under the company brontosaurus, and I'll be skeptically perusing every new Samael review in the queue from now until forever like a paranoid and picky English professor.

Hunching forward, squinting with suspicious knowing, jaw shifting unnaturally side to side. The transformation.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/I ... d_Of_Death

Something tells me that this reviewer expects all black metal to be kvlt, grim, and frostbitten. Add songs longer than 4 minutes and he calls it "technical".

Yup, seems like this Warlord fellow has a very limited understanding of black metal and only recognizes it's stereotypes. Also, it almost seems as if he thinks that just because a riff is thrashy it is inherently technical.

This is the part that is laughable and embarassing:


Metantoine or BH, wow, delete this garbage.

1) minimalistic = black metal, so:
2) not minimalistic = not black metal, therefore
3) not black metal = not good

To be fair to the guy, it was his first review (he only managed three). Still, people shouldn't elaborate on how things fit in a genre if they don't understand said genre. Some of my first reviews were probably just as bad, actually now that I think about it, I should probably delete (and maybe rewrite later) my review of Skyclad's 2009 album (my second review), lest someone reads that garbage.

Wait, what? Wait, WHAT?

I know next to nothing about black metal, and even I can tell that guy's full of shit.

Killed on grounds of factual inaccuracy (AtHoW is about as thrashy as... well something not very thrashy) and the fact that it's a track-by-tracker that gives up after three tracks. Holy shit those are my least favorite things in the world. Really, more than childhood cancer.

I really like this review, thanks for pointing it out. It thoroughly reminds me of everything I picked up in one listen to that album.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... imsonFloyd




Interesting.

Neal Pert.

You know, that's honestly the first time I've heard someone complain about a bass not following the guitars.

EDIT: Hold on a second...Neil Peart...bass?

Man, even one of the most popular Family Guy jokes involves the Cheetos cheetah saying, "There's no fucking drummer better than Neil Peart!"

How could anyone even have an excuse for missing that?

Woops, should of fact checked there. I enjoy some Rush albums, but they've never been a group I've gone crazy over. Obviously I thought I knew the members better than I did. Anyway, I went back and fixed it.

You have to see it, to believe it.
Well, he tries hard to contradict his user name.

Certified are you to english? Kwyjibo!

I mean .. I did because I don't watch that show and never listened to Rush. It's a decent excuse, I think.