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John_Sunlight
President Satan

Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 4:41 am
Posts: 4760
PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:38 pm 
 

Worst reviewers: autothrall, noktorn, hells_unicorn...

Best reviewers: Mister Quickly, William Podmore, Matt Cale... oh fuck it!
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MacMoney
Man of the Cloth

Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2002 10:17 pm
Posts: 2014
PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 4:57 am 
 

Hey! Cale does have some good insight sometimes... Really, he does!

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John_Sunlight
President Satan

Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 4:41 am
Posts: 4760
PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 5:40 pm 
 

In his heyday, Cale *was funny*. Nowadays he mostly makes vaguely racebaiting comments on his forum...
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"Since that time, I have received highest level confirmations that such organizations not only exist but are rooted in satanic ritual murder and extend across America’s political landscape into nearly every community."


Last edited by John_Sunlight on Sun Jun 10, 2012 12:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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MacMoney
Man of the Cloth

Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2002 10:17 pm
Posts: 2014
PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 3:48 am 
 

Ah, right. I've never had the heart to venture out into the forums. I think I did check a thread four, five years back, but it was... Well, it was and wasn't very enlightening. If you know what I mean.

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tehfoks
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:40 am
Posts: 259
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 5:02 pm 
 

Necroticism174 wrote:
Once again, the fungus that is Autothrall only posted when he was mentioned.


:lol: :lol: Calling someone a fungus is the best insult I've heard in a while! This made me laugh my ass off. Thanks!

On topic: Like most of the people who've posted in this thread, I don't agree with the OP. Because of reviewers like hells_unicorn and autothrall (the ones I usually agree with in terms of taste) I have discovered some of my currently favorite albums or bands even. If anything, I should be grateful that they take their time to write fun and helpful reviews that sometimes steer me towards avoiding a bad purchase or discovering a great album.
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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 5004
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 5:25 pm 
 

No problem :p though to be fair, I can't take credit. As it's actually a joke Autothrall made himself a while back.
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googens
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2010 8:46 pm
Posts: 186
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 7:29 pm 
 

Now that I think about it, I'm starting to get sick of this ConorFynes guy.
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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2785
Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 6:40 pm 
 

Yes, he really is abominable. Ironically, for all the albums he (supposedly) listens to and subsequently reviews, he's quite objectively wrong about a few things pertaining to genres and metal history. His insistence on referring to bands' members by name without checking sources to make sure the members in question are connected to that specific release are also pretty deplorable.
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AcidWorm
Veteran

Joined: Wed Dec 22, 2010 11:37 pm
Posts: 2809
PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:49 pm 
 

Factual inaccuracies is grounds for rejection so if it is bad enough then submit the reviews to the Oven Fodder thread.
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atgunn
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:24 pm
Posts: 11
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 11:56 pm 
 

Any true music fan has the right to review what ever album they wish. From the recording artists point of view, the best review is when a fan turns up the radio loud when your album cut comes on. When you lay down hard earned cash for an album. When you show up at our concerts and sing along with us and sweat with us. That is a review beyond words. You become the review. You become our music, our lyrics. Our reason for DOING. Love you.

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atgunn
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:24 pm
Posts: 11
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 12:07 am 
 

Hello. Review what you feel. Its your opinion. No one has to agree. That shouldn't matter.

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atgunn
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:24 pm
Posts: 11
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 6:30 pm 
 

Best review is not written. Best review is cranking an album up loud, laying down hard earns cash as a vote by wallet or purse, but the absolute best review is going to a concert and singing along on your favorite song and sweating and dancing. That is a review that can make a next album better.

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atgunn
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:24 pm
Posts: 11
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 6:46 pm 
 

BTW. What's up with Ilwhyan and the " Behold Wizard " shtick? Is this a music forum or a D&D. Game forum? But, if it gets you through the night dude or dudette, drive on by all means.

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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 5004
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:40 pm 
 

What the fuck are you talking about man?
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9897
Location: Seattle, United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 1:32 pm 
 

Agreed, what the hell is he going on about?
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Xlxlx
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5630
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 1:45 pm 
 

Hate to jump on the wagon like this, but yeah, who is this atgunn guy, and what the hell is he talking about?

Edit: Well, in his profile says he used to belong to an extremely obscure christian heavy metal band called First Strike. So..... Hello, Mr. Gunn?

Edit 2: What is your problem with Ilwhyan's signature, Tony?
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Panflute
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:11 am
Posts: 455
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 1:11 pm 
 

atgunn wrote:
Best review is not written. Best review is cranking an album up loud, laying down hard earns cash as a vote by wallet or purse, but the absolute best review is going to a concert and singing along on your favorite song and sweating and dancing. That is a review that can make a next album better.


I think I need to drink more beer before I understand this.
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japc
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Apr 30, 2004 10:35 pm
Posts: 502
Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Tue May 15, 2012 1:02 pm 
 

I like no one's reviews. So I just sit, write my own and read, admiring the intelligence and communication skills of the author. For greater self-esteem and swelll reviews just rm and repeat.
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HouseSpiders
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 397
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2012 4:43 pm 
 

CircleOvZaphyan

Not at all. You might come across a familiar name every now and then, but I think there's quite a wide variety of reviewers.
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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 5030
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 1:18 pm 
 

MalignantThrone wrote:
Yes, he really is abominable. Ironically, for all the albums he (supposedly) listens to and subsequently reviews, he's quite objectively wrong about a few things pertaining to genres and metal history. His insistence on referring to bands' members by name without checking sources to make sure the members in question are connected to that specific release are also pretty deplorable.


I decided to take a look and see if I could find factual inaccuracies in his reviews. I'm just picking these out while reading through, not really double checking them.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/T ... ConorFynes
"Frontman Johan Norstrom (also the head of Discouraged Records)"
I had to check on this one, but Discouraged Records doesn't mention him on their contact page, and all of the labels updates with a name on them are signed by the founder of the label. He is mentioned as a press contact for one band on the label.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... ConorFynes
"Black Sabbath took a more downtuned, heavier approach to rock music."
Incorrect, Black Sabbath did not tune down until the next album, Master of Reality. Paranoid is in standard tuning.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... ConorFynes
" 'Embryo' is an eerie violin observation"
That's not a violin, it's way outside of the pitch range of a violin - in the range of a cello, which I have heard it referred to as, but the way it is played it makes sense that it is hybrid picked (pick+fingers) on an electric guitar tuned down to C#

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... ConorFynes
This review barely says anything, but the album's title is "Vol. 4" not "Volume Four". There's also a bunch of errant capitalization. This also applied to the "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" review, though I didn't spot any blatant factual errors.


Yeah, this is pretty bad, five reviews is enough. I recall that after someone commented on him titling reviews as "band - album", he changed his format. Perhaps if he reads this he will join us on the forums and take some feedback to improve on his writing. The enthusiasm is there, and there's quantity of writing, but not much quality.

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DodensGrav
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2004 6:45 pm
Posts: 223
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 2:46 pm 
 

Those are pretty nitpicky as far as factual errors go.
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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2785
Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 3:54 pm 
 

Well there was that one time he mentioned how the band he was reviewing covered "a band" named Mussorgsky. And then he attributed the totally wrong vocalist to Lykathea Aflame's lineup on Elvenefris...
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Guitarpro77889 wrote:
which ones are mainstream cuz i will stop listening to them

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DodensGrav
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2004 6:45 pm
Posts: 223
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 4:16 pm 
 

See? Now those are noteworthy. :lol:
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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 5030
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 4:56 pm 
 

MalignantThrone wrote:
Well there was that one time he mentioned how the band he was reviewing covered "a band" named Mussorgsky. And then he attributed the totally wrong vocalist to Lykathea Aflame's lineup on Elvenefris...


Sounds like a lot of oven fodder.

DodensGrav wrote:
Those are pretty nitpicky as far as factual errors go.


That's just what I picked out browsing five reviews...
While the errors themselves may not merit deletion, they're an indicator of the lack of quality, especially when half of every review is pretty much trying to recount the history of the band around that album. The validity of such a bare review is really brought into question when something as obvious as when Black Sabbath started downtuning is incorrectly attributed, it makes it seem like the writer is putting together a vague overview, rather than providing insights into each album.

Listen to the first minute of each of these songs and see what differences you notice. It's not hard to get it right.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQBttKoetqo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rihpED_obk

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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5502
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 9:19 pm 
 

To be fair, Iommi lost his fingertips before the first album was recorded and he's said that that was the reason he started downtuning. I don't quite blame him for getting that one wrong if he doesn't play guitar or have an ear for that kind of thing.
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6563
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 2:47 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
To be fair, Iommi lost his fingertips before the first album was recorded and he's said that that was the reason he started downtuning. I don't quite blame him for getting that one wrong if he doesn't play guitar or have an ear for that kind of thing.

Perhaps not everyone is qualified to be a good reviewer. The ability to differentiate between downtuned and standard guitars, for one, is quite essential for a quality metal reviewer. Secondly, a reviewer should be selfconscious of his ignorance. If he insists on making incorrect statements without doing as much as a google search to back up his information, there's no reason to forgive his ignorance.
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8969
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 2:59 pm 
 

Hey, I'm thinking and trying to become a reviewer and bring my fucked up style to MA. I made a blog yesterday, it's in my signature.
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DodensGrav
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2004 6:45 pm
Posts: 223
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 9:43 am 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
The ability to differentiate between downtuned and standard guitars, for one, is quite essential for a quality metal reviewer.


Not really.
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6563
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 3:16 am 
 

DodensGrav wrote:
Ilwhyan wrote:
The ability to differentiate between downtuned and standard guitars, for one, is quite essential for a quality metal reviewer.

Not really.

Perhaps the lack of this knowledge can be excused by non-musicians if the reviewer doesn't insist on using the terms incorrectly. In ConorFynes' case, someone unfamiliar with Black Sabbath's earlier albums might be looking for the ones that did (or did not) have downtuned guitars. A quality reviewer should at very least be able to tell whether the guitars are in standard tuning or not.
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oneyoudontknow
Cum insantientibus furere necesse est.

Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 6:25 pm
Posts: 5347
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 12:35 pm 
 

Is this not an aspect worth to discuss in a box set than in a 'normal' one? It seems to be something worthy to bring up in some kind of comparison of releases or in terms of the evolution of a band.
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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2653
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 1:21 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
A quality reviewer should at very least be able to tell whether the guitars are in standard tuning or not.

:scratch: That seems like a secondary trait to me. If they know the difference and can communicate that with others who are likewise familiar with standard tuning or whatnot, great. I don't see it as a huge loss if not.
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8969
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 6:30 pm 
 

it is not quite important for me as well. There's many kind of reviewers, I'm personnally not interested in discussing musical theory, I'd rather talk about something else, I'm not a musician myself and you don't need to be one to write a good review. To each his own.
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The_Black_Priest
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Aug 01, 2009 3:10 am
Posts: 188
Location: India
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 2:46 pm 
 

Metantoine wrote:
Hey, I'm thinking and trying to become a reviewer and bring my fucked up style to MA. I made a blog yesterday, it's in my signature.


Read one of your reviews! Not bad. :metal:

I don't like reviews by NausikaDalazBlindaz . They are way too long & his/her writing style is not that good.
I miss reviews by Five_Nails. :aww:
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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2785
Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 3:26 pm 
 

I've never before seen someone as talented as NausikaDalazBlindaz is at taking an artform as emotional and atmospheric as music, and managing to describe it in the most flat, boring, and unappealing way possible.
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Guitarpro77889 wrote:
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9897
Location: Seattle, United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 3:46 pm 
 

MalignantThrone wrote:
I've never before seen someone as talented as NausikaDalazBlindaz is at taking an artform as emotional and atmospheric as music, and managing to describe it in the most flat, boring, and unappealing way possible.

Have you ever read something from ConorFynes?
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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 5004
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 3:49 pm 
 

ConnorFynes, Nausikablablabla and CrimsonFloyd are the unholy trinity of bad reviewers.
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lord_ghengis about Vomitory splitting up wrote:
They were a band who understood music needed more explosions.

http://www.last.fm/user/TheEndTimeRiff
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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 4137
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 5:06 pm 
 

Necroticism174 wrote:
ConnorFynes, Nausikablablabla and CrimsonFloyd are the unholy trinity of bad reviewers.

If you think they're bad, you should look at mine.
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dystopia4
Thumbman

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 3572
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 10:50 pm 
 

Necroticism174 wrote:
ConnorFynes, Nausikablablabla and CrimsonFloyd are the unholy trinity of bad reviewers.


Nausika has very strange taste. What do you find so bad about CrimsonFloyd? I've only read a few of his reviews, but don't remember seeing anything that horrible.
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The_Black_Priest
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Aug 01, 2009 3:10 am
Posts: 188
Location: India
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 12:08 am 
 

Necroticism174 wrote:
ConnorFynes, Nausikablablabla and CrimsonFloyd are the unholy trinity of bad reviewers.


Agreed...ConnorFynes is among the worst reviewers....haven't read reviews by the other two.. :guns:
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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 5004
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 12:50 pm 
 

CrimsonFloyd just rubs me the wrong way. His reviews aren't as terrible as the other two but he usually barely describes the music at all beyond two or three vague adjectives and has backwards opinions on everything.
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lord_ghengis about Vomitory splitting up wrote:
They were a band who understood music needed more explosions.

http://www.last.fm/user/TheEndTimeRiff
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