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Metal_Detector
Reticular Modular Unit

Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:15 pm
Posts: 1882
Location: Forgotten In Space
PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:10 pm 
 

androdion wrote:
I hate to pick on other people's reviews since I also write them, but since when is Aborted goregrind? I actually like the tone of the review, more or less, but the user insists on calling Aborted a goregrind band which is factually wrong.


I thought they used to be straight up goregrind, or am I wrong?

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androdion
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
Posts: 4726
Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:15 pm 
 

Metal_Detector wrote:
androdion wrote:
I hate to pick on other people's reviews since I also write them, but since when is Aborted goregrind? I actually like the tone of the review, more or less, but the user insists on calling Aborted a goregrind band which is factually wrong.


I thought they used to be straight up goregrind, or am I wrong?

I always saw them as brutal death with some grind leanings here and there, and gore lyrics yeah, but never as a goregrind or even grindcore act. Maybe someone who's heavily into their discography can clarify this?
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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2785
Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 8:05 pm 
 

They're watered-down brutal death with a tinge of grind. Nothing even remotely goregrind.
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enigmatech
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:57 pm
Posts: 321
PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:28 am 
 

MalignantThrone wrote:
They're watered-down brutal death with a tinge of grind. Nothing even remotely goregrind.


I always thought Aborted were deathcore? Truly an awful band, either way.

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androdion
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
Posts: 4726
Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:46 am 
 

enigmatech wrote:
I always thought Aborted were deathcore? Truly an awful band, either way.

What?! Oh my, what have I done, what have I done... :lol:
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Metantoine
The XVI, dominar to over 258714 subjects

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 8599
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:14 pm 
 

What, they're not deathcore at all. Malignant Throne is right, it's brutal death with some grind thrown in there.
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Metal_Detector
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:20 pm 
 

Yeah, and they're definitely not an awful band. Global Flatline should prove that.

Edit: Oh, and another positive review for Dark Adrenaline. :facepalm:

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enigmatech
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:57 pm
Posts: 321
PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:59 pm 
 

Well, I haven't heard much from the band. I remember listening to "Goremageddon" and thinking it had metalcore elements (mostly vocals) mixed with death metal, but I don't remember much metalcore on "Engineering the Dead" when I heard that, so maybe it's just that one album, or it could be that I wasn't really listening clearly enough as the vocalist ruins the band for me.

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 3311
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 10:45 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/T ... imuszgrime

It confounds me that people think that an albums value is greatly reduced just because programmed drums were used. Of course, in Torsofuck's case, programmed drums are the least of their music's problems. :p
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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
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Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:29 pm 
 

Wilytank wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Torsofuck/Erotic_Diarrhea_Fantasy/45353/optimuszgrime

It confounds me that people think that an albums value is greatly reduced just because programmed drums were used. Of course, in Torsofuck's case, programmed drums are the least of their music's problems. :p

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/T ... 3/Wilytank

It confounds me that people think that an album's value is greatly reduced just because of its over-the-top gore theme. Of course, in your review's case, that particular criticism is the least of its problems. :p

Seriously, you compared it to Waking the Cadaver? All of my what in the fucking hell.
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DodensGrav
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2004 6:45 pm
Posts: 223
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 5:38 pm 
 

Conceptual content is a hell of a lot more significant than whether or not the drums are performed by a human (which would most likely be triggered and further manipulated anyway). Al brutal/slam/goregrind is gay and sucks anyway.
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 6:13 pm 
 

MalignantThrone wrote:
Seriously, you compared it to Waking the Cadaver? All of my what in the fucking hell.


Production wise, they sound too similar. Otherwise, WtC IS infinitely better than Torsofuck in that they're just bad.
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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
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Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:31 pm 
 

Wilytank wrote:
Production wise, they sound too similar.

I can give leeway for subjective experience and this statement would still be unbelievably wrong. Waking the Cadaver's production job (at least on the first album which is really what everyone who considers them to be the nadir of music pays attention to anyways) is dry and murky, and surprisingly undistorted for a slam band. Compare that to Torsofuck, whose riffs are so drenched in bass and distortion that most of them literally have no distinguishable melodies. Your statement is basically as valid as "Blind Guardian took quite a bit of influence from Slipknot on their first album".
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6373
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 8:23 am 
 

Exactly. Torsofuck guitars sound like the fucking apocalypse, whereas WtC implements something akin to a basic metalcore production job.
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 3311
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:58 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
Torsofuck guitars sound like the fucking apocalypse,


Well, I've been through boring apocalypses before, so...
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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2542
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:09 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... addyZeus67
Quote:
This is also why Six Feet Under is about 5 million times more metal than Cannibal Corpse can ever wish to be and there's simply no argument in that.

Oh god, my sides! Why isn't this guy writing comedy?
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:52 pm 
 

If there was a way to simply block reviews from appearing, he's the one guy I'd use the feature on.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9663
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:05 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
If there was a way to simply block reviews from appearing, he's the one guy I'd use the feature on.

From his profile page:

Quote:
My name on the forums is usernamepassword...at least until I get banned there...AGAIN

Holy shit.
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Metal_Detector
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:06 pm 
 

GuntherTheUndying wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Cannibal_Corpse/Gore_Obsessed/900/DaddyZeus67
Quote:
This is also why Six Feet Under is about 5 million times more metal than Cannibal Corpse can ever wish to be and there's simply no argument in that.

Oh god, my sides! Why isn't this guy writing comedy?


Holy. Shit.

No one even somewhat lucid or capable of any intelligence whatsoever could possibly think that, could they?

The world we live in, oh my... :nono:

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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5198
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:14 pm 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
BastardHead wrote:
If there was a way to simply block reviews from appearing, he's the one guy I'd use the feature on.

From his profile page:

Quote:
My name on the forums is usernamepassword...at least until I get banned there...AGAIN

Holy shit.


You didn't know that? I put two and two together when I saw UNPW bitching about CC a few months ago. I called him out on it (though I never looked at the profile to see that he just outright said who he was) and he said he's always hated me. It was awesome.
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Metal_Detector
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:17 pm 
 

I never knew that either. That explains everything.

I'll be sure to completely disregard every one of his opinions.

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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2542
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:10 pm 
 

And he has two other Cannibal Corpse reviews? :durr:
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 3311
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 9:27 pm 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
BastardHead wrote:
If there was a way to simply block reviews from appearing, he's the one guy I'd use the feature on.

From his profile page:

Quote:
My name on the forums is usernamepassword...at least until I get banned there...AGAIN

Holy shit.

GuntherTheUndying wrote:
And he has two other Cannibal Corpse reviews? :durr:


He never can be satisfied, can he? :lol:
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Razakel
Nekroprince

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 8:36 pm
Posts: 4860
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 2:51 am 
 

I was wondering why usernamepassword never made any sense! I actually listened to some Gore Obsessed today, really good album.

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usernamepassword
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jun 13, 2010 7:13 am
Posts: 1119
PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 7:22 am 
 

lol you people couldn't figure that out until now? I never tried to deny that I'm DaddyZeus67 and I even admitted to it a couple times here on the forums...yeah I know I was an idiot back then but really you losers bitching about it aren't any bit better.

those are really old reviews btw, I cant even bring myself to read them anymore because they suck so much...I mean my opinions havent really changed, Gore Obsessed is still a shit album and I much rather listen to SFU than later Cannibal Corpse but really I hate that shit I used to write.

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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 9553
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 3:51 pm 
 

Bye.
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Xlxlx
May contain traces of nuts

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5307
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 4:53 pm 
 

You just Dursted UNPW?
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 4523
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 5:19 pm 
 

Xlxlx wrote:
You just Dursted UNPW?


:durr: Why do you think he said bye?

Don't really agree with the new Pestilence review. I think it's quite poorly written and the ''least unique of the 4 albums''' statement is something I strongly disagree with. Can't really think of any other thrash metal albums that sound similiar to it.

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Xlxlx
May contain traces of nuts

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5307
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 5:27 pm 
 

Colin, I'm aware of what failsafeman did, so you don't need to be so condescending. I was just surprised that UNPW didn't get banned before. And the topic ends here, because I don't want to derail the thread nor get banned myself.
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KolmeNoitaa wrote:
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Last edited by Xlxlx on Fri Feb 24, 2012 5:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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John_Sunlight
President Satan

Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 4:41 am
Posts: 4677
PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 5:42 pm 
 

*condescending
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Xlxlx
May contain traces of nuts

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5307
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 5:45 pm 
 

John_Sunlight wrote:
*condescending

Thank you.
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Under_Starmere wrote:
THESE GILLS BREATHE HATERADE

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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1419
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:40 pm 
 

Just read ANationalAcrobat's review of Manilla Road's trusty "Metal" album. Pretty damned spiffy while being down to earth the whole time. Nice job.
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GuntherTheUndying
Crimson King, Eater of Worlds

Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:36 pm
Posts: 2542
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 7:43 pm 
 

ANationalAcrobat writes great reviews for the most part. His style is always fresh and lively. I like 'em a lot.
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Ismetal wrote:
GuntherTheUndying IS THE GAY NUMBER 1, HE DOESNT LIKE TO READ THE TRUTH, SO I THINK THIS PAGE IS FOR GAYS WHO WANTS TO READ MESSAGES LIKE "I LOVE MY BAND", "THEY ARE MY LOVE"

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Metal_Detector
Reticular Modular Unit

Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:15 pm
Posts: 1882
Location: Forgotten In Space
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 8:50 pm 
 

GuntherTheUndying wrote:
ANationalAcrobat writes great reviews for the most part. His style is always fresh and lively. I like 'em a lot.


Agreed, and it helps that we both adore classic US power metal, my absolute favorite genre of all time. Crimson Glory and Fates Warning for the fucking win! :headbang:
Can't agree with his views on Pharaoh, however...

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Xlxlx
May contain traces of nuts

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5307
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 9:56 pm 
 

ANationalAcrobat's review of Sabbath's Born Again is what prompted me to go back to the album, both because of how charming he made it sound and because I spent the whole reading time laughing like an idiot. I owed it to him.
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 5198
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:27 am 
 

I think somebody once said of ANA, "You know how a lot of people get really enthusiastic and find all kinds of creative, clever, and humorous ways to say an album is terrible? Well I love ANationalAcrobat because he does that, except he does it for when he likes something".

Some quote along those lines, but it describes his style very well. I write more reviews than I read for the most part, but ANA is indeed a favorite of mine. He has his own unique voice and style, plus he's intelligent with his music and immensely entertaining.
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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 4880
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:42 am 
 

Wilytank wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Torsofuck/Erotic_Diarrhea_Fantasy/45353/optimuszgrime

It confounds me that people think that an albums value is greatly reduced just because programmed drums were used. Of course, in Torsofuck's case, programmed drums are the least of their music's problems. :p

I see that all the time, I truly don't understand it. Some guy was arguing with me that it made the music souless because they can't actually play it and that's why he didn't listen to anything with triggers cause it's "cheating". Some people.
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Necroticism174
Kite String Popper

Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:46 pm
Posts: 4880
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:46 am 
 

[/quote]I always saw them as brutal death with some grind leanings here and there, and gore lyrics yeah, but never as a goregrind or even grindcore act. Maybe someone who's heavily into their discography can clarify this?[/quote]
Goremageddon is the only Goregrind thing they've done, the rest is Brutal Death through and through.
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lord_ghengis about Vomitory splitting up wrote:
They were a band who understood music needed more explosions.

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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1419
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:17 pm 
 

So today I happened upon Doomknocker's review of Ozzy's Blizzard of Ozz with its whopping score of something like 25%. I didn't realize I needed a laugh that badly, not because the review's badly written or because of the overall content that had me puzzled even before I read word one, but because the guy's pretty darn funny. So of course I start with the reviews with the lowest scores:

For Nightwish’s “Dark Passion Play”:

If I thought “Once” was the creative nadir of the group, then “Dark Passion Play” beats that dead horse so deep into the ground it’s halfway to China. What a wreck. What a fucking pitiful, miasmic, ignominious, hollow, tasteless, burnt beyond recognition WRECK! I’m talking both the album and the band, here, by the way. I swear, the whole time I subjected myself to this Abu Ghraib-style musical torment I sat numbly, my eyes barely blinking and mouth agape in utter disbelief and confounded silence.

For Ishitrobots’ “Doom”:

I should've known I was heading into trouble when one of the most disproportionately unintelligible logos comes screaming at me amidst a gaping maw of jagged teeth. But, I tell myself, I've been through worse...I've been engaged twice, I can handle anything. But I was sadly, sadly, SADLY mistaken.


For Ozzy’s “Blizzard of Ozz”:

And at the end of the day, it's the songs themselves that are supposed to be the main reason for consistent lovey-doveyness, and none of them have any sort of staying power; tepid, middle-of-the-road, and devoid of any sort of substance outside of obvious ability...and the biggest sin in all of this is the lamentable "Crazy Train". By all the gods of death, I hate hate HATE this song with every fiber of my being; annoying, overplayed, and performed with that "just starting out" band feel that stays in the listener's head far too long (and am I the only one here who noticed that the first part of Randy's solo is OUT OF KEY??? Oops!

From Pro-Pain’s “Absolute Power”:

Straight away, I’ll start off by saying that hardcore is not my cup of tea by any stretch. From the solipsism of HATEBREED to the screaming-like-an-asshole approach of NEW BLOOD (I miss those goons…), there’s nothing really worth noting in terms of hardcore in this day and age.
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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 6525
Location: Fortress Northallerton, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:23 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
I think somebody once said of ANA, "You know how a lot of people get really enthusiastic and find all kinds of creative, clever, and humorous ways to say an album is terrible? Well I love ANationalAcrobat because he does that, except he does it for when he likes something".

Some quote along those lines, but it describes his style very well. I write more reviews than I read for the most part, but ANA is indeed a favorite of mine. He has his own unique voice and style, plus he's intelligent with his music and immensely entertaining.


Shucks, you guys make me blush. I really need to get back on the review wagon, now.
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