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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5405
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 9:36 pm 
 

SharpAndSlender wrote:
And you're right about the 0%; ratings are basically arbitrary to me and shouldn't be given any consideration at all. I don't rate any reviews on my blog, and wouldn't on MA if it wasn't required. I think they just lead to unnecessary arguments and rarely communicate anything useful to the reader. In retrospect, rating it any other percentage would likely have cut out half the shit thrown at me; my 0% reviews of others have had basically the same effect, so I'm not sure it's even worth it to use it as a rating. People just put too much significance on the number and often end up losing sight of the content of the review because of it.


Typically I agree, I mean I think Autothrall drops way to many 70's, but his reviews are solid enough, and his scores don't change that. Yeah, the review is much more important than just the number at the top, but I feel that in that particular case the 0% is extremely at odds with the content of the review (At least Ultra Boris's explaination for his MoP review was fitting for a minimum score, even if you disagree). It just feels almost like you're trying to trigger a backlash deliberately on some level. With that said, no the points don't matter, and you have good points as usual in it, but the score was definitely used to attract some extra attention there.
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SharpAndSlender
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:49 am
Posts: 2260
Location: Bradenton, Florida
PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 9:52 pm 
 

Hand to god, I wasn't looking for attention with the 0%. It just occurred to me that if the album was as artistically bankrupt as I felt it to be, it made sense to receive a 0%. It's not something that I exactly have listed on my profile, but a 0% is reserved for albums that sort of offend me on an artistic level; if you look through the stuff I've rated 0%, that's a constant theme. The Sword was a cash-in on heavy metal revivalism, Dying Fetus cranked out an album of musical mad libs that showed complete disregard for the audience, The Agonist obsessively used an attractive singer and an irrelevant animal rights platform to market terrible music, etc. Like UltraBoris' review, 0% scores from me are designed to indicate something that's artistically bankrupt, manipulative, or utterly fake, regardless of the music's listenability. It cuts the other way, too: a 100% means something that I feel is an artistic triumph beyond a "mere" 90%+ album that transcends boundaries and emotionally impacts me in a significant way.

In brief: not attention seeking (though very easy and sensible to see that way,) ultimately based on a fairly consistent system.
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lord_ghengis
Metal freak

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:31 pm
Posts: 5405
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 10:29 pm 
 

Ah ok, that makes sense, I should give it another read some time with that mindset. I kind of read it before finishing every sentence thinking "And that means that it sounds horrible why?", so it might not irk me so much now.
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SharpAndSlender
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:49 am
Posts: 2260
Location: Bradenton, Florida
PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 11:40 pm 
 

If it pleases anyone still annoyed by that review: if I were to judge it on the sound alone, not taking into account anything but the music itself, I'd probably give it about a 40%. It's pretty boring, overlong, and structured in a really stilted, halting way, but it's not really offensively bad so much as uninteresting, and there's a riff I like here and there.
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dystopia4
Thumbman

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 3569
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 2:30 pm 
 

SharpAndSlender wrote:
My Catasexual Urge Motivation review is finally complete. I'd like to apologize in advance to the mod unlucky enough to read it. If you'd like to see if you can get through the entire thing, here you go:

http://trialbyordeal666.blogspot.com/20 ... ation.html

To head it off at the pass: yes, I know it's utterly, absurdly long. Yes, it's incredibly self-indulgent. Yes, it's about as impossibly overblown as a review for a goregrind album can be. But I'm okay with all that because it made me happy to finally write it and it was a labor of love. It probably took about ten hours of continuous typing and cross-referencing research, not counting breaks, and yes, drugs played a part. If you hate it or simply refuse to read something that long, I understand and don't begrudge you.

And before anyone asks, I swear on my own life that I did not write it with the objective of making it the longest review on MA. I've started and deleted this review dozens of times over the years, it was and continues to be my favorite album, and hearing it was, in essence, a life-changing experience. Feel free to ignore it; if I was anyone else, I probably would.



Good review, way more in depth then I would even think of going. I generally hate goregrind with a passion, but I actually think that album is really good. The drum machine definitely turns out to be a good thing.

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Xlxlx
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5621
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 8:47 pm 
 

You know, I just read Necroticism89's review of Metallica's St. Anger (the second one from the top to the bottom), and I gotta say that it's a pretty piss poor review. Don't get me wrong, because it's very well written. No, the actual problem lies within the fact that he gives the album a perfect score and then proceeds to basically say "this album would be much better recieved if half of it's content was different and it belonged to some other band". That's just not good reasoning, man.
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Metal_Detector
Reticular Modular Unit

Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:15 pm
Posts: 1887
Location: Forgotten In Space
PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 6:22 pm 
 

Who else saw ReaperMan's use of quotation marks around review titles and also wanted to throw up?

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xexyzl
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:38 pm
Posts: 237
PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 8:28 pm 
 

Bwahaha he even messed them up on his Machine Head review.

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Morrigan
Crone of War

Joined: Sat Aug 10, 2002 7:27 am
Posts: 9808
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 6:21 pm 
 

Razakel wrote:
Is there any way a mod can extend the review length? It's kind of a shame that the longest review on the site is shown as incomplete.

Don't worry, I fixed it. :D
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DreamTheater3
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:53 pm
Posts: 23
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 10:06 pm 
 

I don't mean to sound like a douche or anything, but shouldn't we just be allowed to have a comment section on reviews as a whole?

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9885
Location: Seattle, United States
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 10:17 pm 
 

DreamTheater3 wrote:
I don't mean to sound like a douche or anything, but shouldn't we just be allowed to have a comment section on reviews as a whole?

This thread serves that purpose, really. Or you mean the a thread about reviews in general? Fuck that.
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DreamTheater3
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:53 pm
Posts: 23
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 10:19 pm 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
DreamTheater3 wrote:
I don't mean to sound like a douche or anything, but shouldn't we just be allowed to have a comment section on reviews as a whole?

This thread serves that purpose, really. Or you mean the a thread about reviews in general? Fuck that.

True.

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9885
Location: Seattle, United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 3:08 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... xx3kage3xx

Really? More bare bones than a dog bone.
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Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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xexyzl
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:38 pm
Posts: 237
PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 3:15 pm 
 

I learned that Mirrorthrone is one of some guy's many projects, its songs aren't too long (which is good if I can't listen to long songs), and it uses an Oboe at one point. OH! And it has Female vocals in it somewhere (that makes it darker).

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9885
Location: Seattle, United States
PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 1:31 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/O ... /philip777

People are getting away with a lot more these days, apparently.
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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xexyzl
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:38 pm
Posts: 237
PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 2:59 pm 
 

I learned that Old Silver Key is a disappointing collaborative band between (a member each from both?) Alcest and Drudkh, whose label forces these two (men?) to conform to a new gender stereotype, and that they simultaneously set their sights too high and were comfortable with an old songwriting formula. OH! And the production values are rough.


(Honestly this one contains even less musical description than the last)

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9885
Location: Seattle, United States
PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 3:23 pm 
 

Thanks for these short summaries, xexyzl. :lol:
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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xexyzl
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:38 pm
Posts: 237
PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 4:15 pm 
 

This is fun, I learn something new every day.

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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6558
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:28 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/T ... hosphorous

I detest this style of reviewing probably even more than Noktorn's overblown, narcissistic rants of himself.

Spanish Necrokillerskullfuckerers Teitanblood deliver an unholy rotting offering to great lord of darkness Satan with oozing razxorblade guitar destruction and the deathgrunt vokillz of a grim blaspheming necroskullfucker. Prepare for a trip to hell, to watch sinners burn in lakes of fire as this album starts. You will instantly be converted to satanism and start praising the dark lord Satan, because the album's anticosmic antitechnical anti-education death black/sinister metal/grind will enchant you and you won't be able to stop listening to this auditory creeping necrobarrage of destruction for days, because it's a grim and nekroskullfucking offering to the blasphemous necrogods of sonic blasphemy.
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Metal_Detector
Reticular Modular Unit

Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:15 pm
Posts: 1887
Location: Forgotten In Space
PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2012 9:50 am 
 

I hate press releases, too.

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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1419
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2012 12:16 pm 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Mirrorthrone/Of_Wind_and_Weeping/21571/xx3kage3xx

Really? More bare bones than a dog bone.


Gone.
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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Posts: 1419
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2012 12:19 pm 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Old_Silver_Key/Tales_of_Wanderings/315221/philip777

People are getting away with a lot more these days, apparently.


Gone.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9885
Location: Seattle, United States
PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2012 3:12 pm 
 

So after looking through that Killswitch Engage "Holy Diver" pinch harmonic thread, I was in the mood to read some reviews of the single, and I saw Empyreal's at the bottom. So of course I read it first, and I read until this:

Empyreal on KE's "Holy Diver" wrote:
However, they did not do it justice at all, rather brutally mutilating it and tearing it to shreds, leaving its tattered remains on the damp, cold pavement of some slummy back alleyway, probably behind a 7-11 that was just waiting to be robbed at the same time.


So then I :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 19344
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2012 4:38 pm 
 

I don't even remember that review.
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 10886
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2012 8:20 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Teitanblood/Seven_Chalices/231566/Phosphorous

I detest this style of reviewing probably even more than Noktorn's overblown, narcissistic rants of himself.

Spanish Necrokillerskullfuckerers Teitanblood deliver an unholy rotting offering to great lord of darkness Satan with oozing razxorblade guitar destruction and the deathgrunt vokillz of a grim blaspheming necroskullfucker. Prepare for a trip to hell, to watch sinners burn in lakes of fire as this album starts. You will instantly be converted to satanism and start praising the dark lord Satan, because the album's anticosmic antitechnical anti-education death black/sinister metal/grind will enchant you and you won't be able to stop listening to this auditory creeping necrobarrage of destruction for days, because it's a grim and nekroskullfucking offering to the blasphemous necrogods of sonic blasphemy.

In the reviewer's defense, it is quite an evil album. "Deathgrunt vokillz of a grim blaspheming necroskullfucker" is a bit much, though, as he's probably a stand-up guy in real life and works at the Spanish equivalent of K-Mart to fund Teitanblood (okay, probably not, but still, it's something to think about...).
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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2785
Location: A step closer to home
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 8:28 am 
 

The Faceless need more negative reviews. I should remedy this.
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Metal_Detector
Reticular Modular Unit

Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:15 pm
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 6:40 pm 
 

"Metalians in my high school were busy sporting erections for Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer, Anthrax, and most had very little attention span or funds to explore the thrash genre much deeper. If you encountered a guy or gal with a Testament or Nuclear Assault t-shirt other than yourself, you were blown over by the prospect of a kindred spirit. Meet your new best friend."

I couldn't help but to be blown away by how little things have changed when I read this part from autothrall's Bathory review. That's literally exactly how iis when I see such people today. I've probably missed the acquaintance of knowledgable-about-metal people because the majority of those who wear Big 4 shirts don't know shit about it. I was surprised to even find one person in my entire school who knows who Toxik and Artillery are.

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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6558
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 5:24 pm 
 

Many people seem to have an aversion to trying to find new bands to listen to. There was a huge gang of people in my old school who basically listened to Fade To Black and almost nothing else.
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Xlxlx
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5621
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 8:55 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
Many people seem to have an aversion to trying to find new bands to listen to.

This exactly. I don't get it at all.
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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 6708
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 12:00 pm 
 

It's good to see Professor RH Zeingard back: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... 0/zeingard
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John_Sunlight
President Satan

Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 4:41 am
Posts: 4748
PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 1:26 pm 
 

Xlxlx wrote:
Ilwhyan wrote:
Many people seem to have an aversion to trying to find new bands to listen to.

This exactly. I don't get it at all.

Gotta stop hanging with normies.
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Xlxlx
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5621
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 2:03 pm 
 

John_Sunlight wrote:
Gotta stop hanging with normies.

In that case I should hang around this place more I guess :lol:

Spoiler: show
No offence meant, of course.
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6558
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 4:54 pm 
 

Xlxlx wrote:
Ilwhyan wrote:
Many people seem to have an aversion to trying to find new bands to listen to.

This exactly. I don't get it at all.

And we metalheads are the closedminded ones, right?
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Xlxlx
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 5621
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 10:40 pm 
 

Xlxlx wrote:
Ilwhyan wrote:
Many people seem to have an aversion to trying to find new bands to listen to.

This exactly. I don't get it at all.

Ilwhyan wrote:
And we metalheads are the closedminded ones, right?

I hate to whine about this sort of stuff, but true that. The fact that WE are the ones labeled as close minded asshats in sweeping generalizations while a much bigger deal of so called "music listeners" enjoy living in fucking cans is something that I can't even BEGIN to comprehend.....
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John_Sunlight
President Satan

Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 4:41 am
Posts: 4748
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:06 am 
 

Every group is generalized in that way and it's not true of any of them...
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caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6119
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 6:54 am 
 

I don't think it's that unagreeable. You do get those days when you want to hear something new, something fresh, but that's outnumbered by the times when you just want to put on some music that you know you'll dig without slogging through crap music for 45 minutes.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9885
Location: Seattle, United States
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:37 pm 
 

What are your guys' thoughts on this?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/I ... ll_In_Vain
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 4130
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 2:46 pm 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
What are your guys' thoughts on this?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/I ... ll_In_Vain

For its size, it has an adequate amount of description and his writing style is interesting.

But...it's way too short.
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xexyzl
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:38 pm
Posts: 237
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:23 pm 
 

It kinda seems like he only copy-pasted in the first quarter of his review. What is there isn't bad though.

But 'Blackwater Park' influence? Whatever you say boss . . .

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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 6558
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 5:21 pm 
 

xexyzl wrote:
It kinda seems like he only copy-pasted in the first quarter of his review. What is there isn't bad though.

But 'Blackwater Park' influence? Whatever you say boss . . .

He's referring to the acoustic passages that are sprinkled all over predominantly metal material. Resonance sounds like complete Opeth anyway.
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