W1kt00r wrote:
Metalpedia rejected my 2 rewievs and I was sent to shit thread (thanks a lot t oguy who sent me there). Can sb tell me what's bad in these rewiews or which sentences must I correct to submit these reviews?
What was your review rejected for? Content or formal aspects?
W1kt00r wrote:
Meta - "Ride The Lightning" 100% - The best thrash album ever recorded.
This attitude alone might be a reason for rejection. There are already plenty of reviews for this album that claim it as a masterpiece, so you must bring something new to the table if you want your review to be accepted. If you're only going to repeat what others said, there's no reason to review the album in the first place. (Note that I wrote this before reading through your all of your review, so your review might actually original enough. Let's see.)
W1kt00r wrote:
In 1983 Metallica recorded an album “Kill'em All” which could be known as the first thrash-metal position in the world. However, their next album called “Ride The Lightning” recorded only a year later and showed us how to play thrash.
I am totally confused by these two sentences, both in terms of syntax and content. What is a "thrash-metal position"? (Also, the hyphen is unnecessary.) You probably wanted to say that it's the first full-length album that can be classified purely as thrash metal. Then, you say "However", for no apparent reason. "However" implies that the second sentence opposes the first, but it doesn't. You forgot to put a "was" before "recorded" as well. In general, use straight quotes (") instead of curly ones (“), for some reason the latter is not accepted here. The same goes for apostrophes. Then there's another logical issue: If "Kill 'em All" was the first thrash album, why did "Ride The Lightning" show us how to play thrash? It simply makes no sense.
W1kt00r wrote:
It defined Metallica’s style, which will be noticed in their next CDs.
If you're gonna say this, you should describe the style in detail. It doesn't help if you say this album defined their style if you're not saying what is characteristic for that style. Also, please say "album" instead of "CD", there were once such things as vinyl records and cassettes before CDs were invented.
W1kt00r wrote:
It's a strong conclusion but I think that “Ride The Lightning” is the best thrash metal album ever created. I've got some reasons to think in this way.
The last sentence seems unnecessary. The point of this review is to show your reasons for thinking that way, so you don't need to state that you have reasons. If you hadn't, it would be hard to write a review, don't you think?
W1kt00r wrote:
The first thing we hear is a far better production as in “Kill’Em All”. We listen to clear music that sounds very well and some special effects like thunders, bells and alerts. Moreover, we hear clearly every single hit of drums and bass parts.
"clear music that sounds very well"? Let me guess, you're not a native English speaker. You probably wanted to say that the sound quality is good, but that's absolutely not the impression I get from that sentence. It just doesn't sound correct, but I'm not a native English speaker myself, so you should probably let somebody else help you here. I also beg to differ in the content again, I personally can hear the drums and bass parts very clearly in "Kill 'Em All".
W1kt00r wrote:
James Hetfield shows us his aggressive and characteristic manner. Some people say that it is not an original vocal but I like it. In my opinion, it sounds great.
You only say you like his voice but not why.
W1kt00r wrote:
What is more, Kirk, Lars and Cliff aren't afraid of faster parts and they know how to play them. “Ride The Lightning” is a thrash metal album, so we've got there more faster songs, but not all...
Again, syntax is broken: "What is more" is not a valid expression and is certainly not synonymous with "moreover". "so we've got there more faster songs" is also not correct, the there should be omitted. Regarding content, you imply here that James doesn't play fast, which you certainly don't mean. I also wouldn't even specifically mention that they can play fast, because thrash metal bands always do, and Metallica aren't even one of the faster bands in the genre.
W1kt00r wrote:
The first song is “Fight Fire With Fire”. In the beginning we listen to a calm intro. After that we are destroyed by a very fast riff. Metallica hasn't created a faster song yet, only “Battery” could equal with this!
I be to differ with your definition of "very fast", but oh well... And if you think that this is Metallica's fastest song, be sure to check "Motorbreath" again, for example. Apart from the fact that this song is fast, you don't say anything.
W1kt00r wrote:
The title track emerging from thunders could be thought to be a faster track, too – “Ride The Lightning” verses aren't as fast as in “Fight Fire With Fire” but a chorus is a high quality thrashing.
Sorry, what? The chorus has the same tempo as the verses, and you never specifically say that this is a mid-tempo song. There are some language quirks again, but there's no use in sorting them out on a case-by-case basis if you will need to rewrite the review anyway. "High quality thrashing" is not a sufficient description at all, in fact, it says nothing except that you like it.
W1kt00r wrote:
"Trapped Under Ice" is a more go-getter version of Exodus' "Impaler" track. Metallica added some text here - according to this we have a very good metal song. Again!
Wait, what? From what I've heard, "Impaler" has text too. Also, how does the presence of lyrics make a song good?
W1kt00r wrote:
However, "Escape" is one of the less-valued Meta tracks, never performed live. I don't know why because the track is good either.
"Meta" is not an abbreviation that I've ever heard for "Metallica". In fact, "Meta" is Greek for"beyond". Also, you still didn't say why you like this song. By the way, "either" is only used when there's a "not" anywhere in the sentence.
W1kt00r wrote:
What's more, in “Ride The Lughtning” we have slower tracks which are in the Metallica’s standard, too. “For Whom The Bell Tolls” has a title taken form Ernest Hemingway’s story and it was inspired by one of the fragments of this novel.
"Ernest Hemingway’s story" is not really a good description, especially when you don't even mention what said "story" is about.
W1kt00r wrote:
This song has got an awesome massive riff with a cherry on top of it.
Sorry, what? This is either a broken metaphor or I fail to see the cherry. Hmm...
W1kt00r wrote:
I was shocked when I heard that astonishing guitar part from 1:17 to 1:50 was played on a bass! Cliff Burton was a very talented player...
I might be wrong, but this is not the part that is actually played on the bass. The part from 0:00 to 0:40 is played on a bass. Then again, it might even be both parts, who knows.
W1kt00r wrote:
The next song at first caused a small scandal but today it is one of the Meta classics.
If you mention a scandal, explain the backgrounds of said scandal.
W1kt00r wrote:
“Fade To Black" is an archetype of a metal ballad. It is a beautiful and well played song which defined how to play heavy ballads. Nobody had played that way before.
Dio is rolling in his grave... You also don't describe what's good about it, again.
W1kt00r wrote:
Also the last track - "The Call of Ktulu" has the title taken from H.P. Lovecraft’s novel (Cliff was a lover of his literature). It is an instrumental song where we hear a lot of guitar patterns played in a song sounding like a symphony - who knows, maybe if J. S. Bach had heard this song, he would have congratulated Metallica? It's an amazing track showing us how creative this band is.
I think you didn't quite grasp the complexity of Bach in comparison to Metallica. You also don't seem to know what a symphony is. If you do, explain your association. Needless to say, we still don't hear an accurate description. "A lot of guitar patterns" are nothing exceptional in a Metal song, I guess.
W1kt00r wrote:
All these seven songs are great but absolutely the best track in “Ride The Lightning” is "Creeping Death". It is made with all the patterns which thrash metal is built of. Great riffs, great solos, great vocal – the absolute world championship! It is my favourite Metallica track and one of the best metal tracks! There has never been a Metallica concert without this song and the public shouting "Die! Die! Die!" in the chorus...
I have attended a Metallica concert without his song. I also have never heard "Die! Die! Die! shouts in the chorus. Just to remind you, the chorus is the "So let it be written" part. "Great riffs, great solos, great vocal" are really not an accurate description of the "patterns which thrash metal is built of". Again, you only say that you like it, which isn't really something we need to know.
W1kt00r wrote:
Luckily Metallica is extremely original and their tracks aren’t about Satan or fantasy stories
People who see the Bible as a fantasy story will now say that "Creeping Death" is just that.
W1kt00r wrote:
Metallica predicts Armageddon in a very clever way (“Fight Fire With Fire")
What exactly is clever about it?
W1kt00r wrote:
or some philosophy (“Escape").
"Philosophy" is not a good description of the lyrical themes in this song. Read the lyrics again.
W1kt00r wrote:
The best of exclusive thrash of course! It's a masterpiece! All 8 songs are very good! Moreover, some of them are brilliant!
You really like exclamation marks! Guess what! I don't! You also don't say anything with substance here, only praise that isn't backed up by your review.
W1kt00r wrote:
If you don't listen to this CD you can't call yourself a "Metal".
I'm so very sorry, but I doubt anyone ever called themselves a "Metal".
What you need to do is fix your grammar (there are also some typos) and describe much more accurately why this album is good and what sets it apart from others. Personal preference is not a reason.
On an unrelated note, did anyone read my review and notice what's wrong with the formatting? I am still confused what might be the problem.