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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 6528
Location: Fortress Northallerton, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 9:01 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=974#433 Symphony_of_Terror. Pros and cons section. Ewwwwww.
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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8437
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:59 am 
 

Plenty of stuff nuked, but PLEASE people, include the author name if you intend to actually have something deleted. I'm not going to wade through plenty of reviews just to find out if one of my colleagues has been faster. One review = plenty of stuff to wade through.

Cleaned up to this point.
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Sean16
Moody Tabulator of Torn Hymens

Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 11:03 am
Posts: 524
Location: Japan
PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:01 pm 
 

Quote:
waste of time/work needed - 15%
Written by bloodfeasting69 on February 10th, 2006

First things first, I bought that demo tape from a distro only to realise that
it's not an "actual" release. I mean, the covers are printed OK (at least I didn't waste my money!) but the tape was some TDK or something, so a copy that is. Honestly I don't mind any of that (in contrast with many "original" purists-i dont blame them at all!!) as long as the material is good!

Before we get to the tracks:
the sound and production was that earned that 15%. I mean for this really low-budget demo the sound is tollerable. there are A LOT of BM "cult" demos out there with far more worse sound. at least at this one you get the chance to hear it and realise its not worth it.

The tracks
First the intro is ridiculous, some "dark" "ritual" supposed to be composition that will get you bored in 5 seconds. Their 3 real tracks won't be better either.
Repeated riffs, untalanted ideas, boring vocals, simply there wasn't a moment that made to rewind the tape and listen to it again.
The vocals ("vomits") are trying to sound apocryphal and evil but only made me laugh. I'm not even sure if the guy is saying any lyrics.
The drumming is good, I can hear the blastbeats but if the tracks are boring and the guitar riffs dont make any sense why bother listen to it again or even..buy it ?

PS The last track is a cover to SARCOFAGO (track Christ's Death)
The vocals suck big time and the guitar-drums combo is trying to keep up with the original.. no luck. This isn't a pure evil black metal track, why are you trying to play it like that ? do a cover from a band closer to your style (darkthrone,mayhem,millions)

PS 2 I never heard any bass




http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=72227


This guy's only review. The English and formatting are both terrible, and the capitalization is random. Granted, it still says something about the music... kind of.
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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8437
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:07 pm 
 

Gone.
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Hellrisen
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:48 pm
Posts: 542
Location: thE ocEAN
PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:46 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=894#205979

gazeovice's. Nothing wrong with it really, but he calls the album by the incorrect name for the entire review.
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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8437
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:49 pm 
 

Indeed. Gone now. gaze, resubmit after necessary corrections.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9663
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:51 pm 
 

Man, a couple other reviews on that page like those by corpsegrinder and Decepticon are barebone nutters that hurt the eyes. For early birds they may barely pass the mark, but they pale in comparison to the other reviews. A lot of those early ones are track by track nightmares, too.
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gazeovice
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2009 12:53 pm
Posts: 555
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 3:32 pm 
 

Hey guys, I was wondering as to why my Internal Bleeding review for "Onward to Mecca" and Kingdom of Sorrow self titled review was nuked the first time. I looked at the punctuation and it wasn't that reason, and I am unable to get email replys so, I'm just curious thanks for the time guys

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Forbinator
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Oct 26, 2007 10:20 pm
Posts: 533
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 8:51 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=2375

creepingdoom's review for Judas Iscariot's Heaven in Flames has horrible spelling and grammar along with invalid criticisms. There are plenty of better reviews on the page than this one:

Quote:
'm a big fan of black metal and a fan of Judas Iscariot. I like Judas Iscariot without the fact that JI is one of the most unoriginal bands in the black metal scene. It's nice to listen to but in all honestly just strickly musically speaking, JI is nothing special. This release, Heaven In Flames, is definitely JI's weakest attempts at true black metal. Everything on this release is so weakly made and produced.

First off with the guitars. Holy shit, I can't even put my hate into words about these riffs. Like, come one Akhenaten, what the hell were you thinking? The half-melodic parts are ridiculous. The lead is just horrendous, it's just basic black metal riffing gone wrong. Now lets be honest, how the hell do you get black metal riffing wrong!? The guitars are also very "Burzumic." The song "An Ancient Starry Sky" is just a black metal riff with some melody played for 3 minutes. When I read the title of the song, I think Burzum right away too. The drums... Why do I bother? They're just simple hits here and there, really weak sounding too. The vocals, are just ordinairy. Unlike other black metal vocalists, Akhenaten has a very growly/gurgly sound to his screams.

In a negative review, I usually be a gentle man and say "here are the good parts to the album." Sadly enough Heaven In Flames holds nothing memorable nor anything half-good. Each song is mostly played at the same average speed. There are no slow parts, unless the drums are gone. The only reason this album does get a mention for having speed is because of the drums. The guitars are just there for the sake of having guitars so the scene accepts you. I think this album would be 1.9 times better if it was just drums and vocals. Really, the guitars don't go anything but screw everything up. Overall though the music is ok. Ok enough to get over 10% but lower than 30%.

Overall, if you have a garage band...Stick to listening to your own music. Judas Iscariot's Heaven in Flames is nothing special.


EDIT: The actual review spells "definitely" as d e f i n a t e l y. It looks as if this forum has an auto-correct for that.
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MaDTransilvanian
Caravan Beyond Redemption

Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:56 pm
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Location: Romania
PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 10:45 pm 
 

I saw this review posted in the Review Discussion thread, but in all honesty it belongs here: http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=382#88090

doomknocker's review is very short, barely has any actual musical description (about 2 sentences' worth) and simply says a few times how much of an asshole Varg is and how his music is awful. I understand that uncommon opinions are preferred, but they should be stated competently. His isn't.
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Evil_Johnny_666
Reigning king of the night

Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:54 pm
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Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:26 pm 
 

dude, he's using a Type O reference for the title, that means his review is clever.

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joncheetham88
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:41 pm
Posts: 505
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 7:20 am 
 

(From the Reviews Discussion thread and for the attention of you kind gentlemen in a position to have crappy reviews on this site destroyed...)

WebOfPiss wrote:
Also related to doomknocker...

...his Warhorse review is pure shit.


Second. Somehow addressing the music on the disc is a method I've stuck to for a number of my reviews and it seems to work, however doomknocker is quite happy with vague ranting at the genre itself without giving the reader any idea what they might hear. It's an interesting approach but sadly not one that's worth a damn. I've read better musical descriptions on those blogs which just link to mediafire
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 5:01 pm 
 

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=132843#70376

While I don't exactly support this album, the first reviewer, andrasiK, does jack shit to explain the music. All he does is bitch and wine about how Disillusion now sucks.

He disses the cover art, the song titles, what little he gives on the vocals, and that's pretty much it... oh missed that Rammstein diss - which is another band I don't really support, either.

This is andrasiK's only review, but it's so bad that he might as well not have any.
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Gravskog
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:17 pm
Posts: 244
PostPosted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 10:29 am 
 

Alright, what the hell is this:

http://www.metal-archives.com/release.php?id=275614

There's no musical description at all, sans a line about how the drumming sounds. It's just a poetic grandiose statement about how the album sounds Scandinavian. That guy might as well have been high while writing that.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 26, 2010 1:37 am 
 

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=241#30

The one by ironasinmaiden is so bad it hurts. It looks like something written by a 13 year old black metal newcomer who just heard of Immortal. It would fit on Amazon, but doesn't hold a candle to the plethora of other reviews on the page. Hardly any deep musical description, doesn't describe many instruments, and is inaccurate on a song or two as it is Doesn't sound like he gives a shit about the album anyway / isn't taking the review seriously at all.

Haven't really checked through the other ones, but the mods may want to scan the early reviews on that page.
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hells_unicorn
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2241
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jun 26, 2010 1:11 pm 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=241#30

The one by ironasinmaiden is so bad it hurts. It looks like something written by a 13 year old black metal newcomer who just heard of Immortal. It would fit on Amazon, but doesn't hold a candle to the plethora of other reviews on the page. Hardly any deep musical description, doesn't describe many instruments, and is inaccurate on a song or two as it is Doesn't sound like he gives a shit about the album anyway / isn't taking the review seriously at all.

Haven't really checked through the other ones, but the mods may want to scan the early reviews on that page.


Ironasinmaiden's reviews, in general, tend to be a fairly painful read. Some of his stuff is barely passable, but most of it is absolute crap. I recommended his review for Iron Maiden's "Virus" single for the chopping block a while back, but I think it stayed up because it was the only review at the time.
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DevilsWhorehouse
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2009 8:14 am
Posts: 257
PostPosted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 7:00 am 
 

Testament - The Very Best Of...

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=12063#1989

Quote:
Great thrash compilation - 91%
Written by Armed_and_dangerous on June 16th, 2003

The first thing I think I should mention is...This compilation is awesome!
This is the compilation that really got me into the thrash genre. I mean, of course I was already into 'tallica and Anthrax but testament were reasonably new to me. I had recently purchased 'The Legacy' which I should also mention, is a great album.

The thing that stands out the most about Testaments work so far is the awesome connection between the two guitarists, and this compilation definitely shows you how well they work together. It starts off with the early stuff and then slowly works it's way through the years.

The first three tracks are from 'The legacy' and are all played the way thrash should be. Tracks are 'The haunting', 'Burnt offerings', and the awesome 'first strike is deadly'

We then move onto the stuff from 'The new order', and the tracks seem to keep getting better. The title track starts off with a with a tap intro from Alex Skolnick (lead guitar) and then the crunching riff emerge and the band deliver an aweome track, with a great solo. The theres 'Into the pit' recorded for a specific reason (guess what) and 'deciples of the watch'.

The compilation then moves onto the stuff from 'Practise what you preech', and although many believe this is a ripoff of Metallica, Testament certainly do a good job! the title track in particular. Great guitar work and awesome vocals from Chuck billy, who sounds alot like a mature James Hetfield.

The remaining tracks are mainly from the album 'The ritual' and although slightly more commercial sounding are still great. The awesome intro track from the ritual 'Signs of chaos' which I believe is played by Alex and 'Electric crown' really stand out.

Thre is also a great live version of 'Over the wall'

I'd recommend this album to most thrash fans and anyone interested in the genre.


Don't ask me how I happened across this review, but I unfortunately did...
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Derigin
Anthropophagus

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 2466
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 1:37 pm 
 

Cleansed up to this point... and then some.

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Idrownfish
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:04 pm
Posts: 65
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 4:42 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=974

By Ktulu. It is incredibly short and has no real description.

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SharpAndSlender
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:49 am
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Location: Bradenton, Florida
PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 4:33 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 094#231868

Top one. So... what kind of music do they play?
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caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
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Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 8:21 am 
 

SharpAndSlender wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=173094#231868

Top one. So... what kind of music do they play?


That's real shit. The shot he takes at the other reviewer is another good reason to delete the review.
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Idrownfish
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:04 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 11:45 am 
 

Wow, that one is like the worst review in MA... By the way, is he even allowed to use his reviews to bash other reviewers?

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Ice_As_Steel
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2010 12:51 am
Posts: 663
PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 12:20 pm 
 

Too bad that's in such a state as to warrent deletion, because every point he makes is totally valid.
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Idrownfish
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 5:50 pm 
 

No, it was that bad.

Anyway, it was already deleted...

I might go listen to that one anyway... Stuff with a single review bothers me.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 18765
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 6:52 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=5311#5086

Well shit, this review is just awful.
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Ice_As_Steel
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2010 12:51 am
Posts: 663
PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 6:52 pm 
 

Idrownfish wrote:
No, it was that bad.

Anyway, it was already deleted...

I might go listen to that one anyway... Stuff with a single review bothers me.


I didn't disagree the review was bad, I merely pointed out that it made good points unfortunately expressed in a poor and inarticulate way.
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Ravenlord266
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Feb 26, 2005 7:18 pm
Posts: 1438
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:28 am 
 

Empyreal wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=5311#5086

Well shit, this review is just awful.


His review for W.A.S.P. 's Double Live Assassins isn't much better;
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=3983
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WolfieboyMachi
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Nov 27, 2009 1:38 pm
Posts: 857
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 10:58 am 
 

Review of Dimmu Borgir's In Sorte Diaboli.
Written by Im_Tony_Danza on June 18th, 2007

Review Start:

This shit is totally gay and Dimmu needs to die - 0%

This is the worst CD ever made by anyone. It's sort of laughable how gay everything is, but then you remember that you wasted precious money buying it, or precious time downloading it, when you could have just as easily just paid about $10 less and rented "Dagon".
This album is supposed to be a conceptual masterpiece, as coined by SilenutZ himself, but it really only succeeds in being an hour long mess of over-used punk riffs, metalcore breakdowns and a symphony jerking off to Fagraths awful vocals and retarded pseudo-intellectual storyline(LOL).
Look, I know Stormblast was a legendary album, I know there was even a time when Dimmu passed for an actual sub-standard black metal band, but ever since that smiley bald guy joined, they have just been really uninspired and unoriginal. I bet it was his idea to market the Dimmu Borgir pin-up calendars they are selling on their myspace. BUT HEY, DON'T WORRY, THEY'RE STILL ELITE, BECAUSE THEY WROTE AN ENTIRE NEW CD ABOUT HOW RELIGION IS TOTALLY GAY. OHHH OK! THEN THAT MEANS THAT THEY MUST BE REALLY KVLT, BECAUSE ABSOLUTELY NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THAT BEFORE!

Hellhammer lends some of his personal stash of pretentiousness to the band also, with an hour's worth of unnecessarily fast bass drum kicks, pointless fills that occur just because they couldn't think of anything else to put there, and uber-tr00 black metal overproduction.

What the fuck is the point of Mustis in this band anymore? Every new CD they come out with, there is some annoying orchestra backing up the band's horrible musicianship, so what the fuck does he do? Is he playing one of the thousand violins? Does he just... stand there, or...?

Vortex has a pretty voice but it comes in at the wrong times and does nothing to make the music better. He needs to quit Dimmu and rejoin Borknagar or Lamented Souls and do something that is meaningful musically, instead of this gayness.

Galder has ruined the integrity of this band. He should die first, because he brought all the rehashed punk faggot metalhead riffs from Old Man's Cumshot and added them into the songwriting of what could have been an 'OK' band. Silenoz is a complete failure as a guitar player. What the hell happened to Astennu? Did he just fall off the face of the earth or resort to making homoerotic cyber punk like Nagash? During Spritual Black Dimensions, at least there were some decent solos, and everyone in the band was actually doing something. The song structures were unique and everything was still interesting, despite the retardedly over-produced synth and guitars.

This CD is garbage. If you like shit thats gay, you should listen to it. Of course, it might make you gay too.


Review End.

I think that's 'nuff said.
How did this review ever get accepted in the first place?

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=145081


Last edited by WolfieboyMachi on Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
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droneriot
RETIRED

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Location: Germany
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:03 am 
 

It's juvenile, but still probably more mature than a Dimmu Borgir album warrants.
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WolfieboyMachi
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:06 am 
 

Point is, it's extremely biased, childish, it's not serious at all and it makes it seem like there was a fifth grader that wrote it.
Therefore, it shouldn't be there.

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droneriot
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:16 am 
 

It describes the music and it illustrates the reasons he dislikes it. I see nothing wrong with the review.
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Idrownfish
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Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:04 pm
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Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:42 am 
 

Honestly, it should be deleted. It insults the band, not only the album, and is highly homophobic. The content is alright, but come on, he said that Dimmu should fucking die .-.

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:57 am 
 

While I don't care for later Dimmu, I will back the reviewers that say this review is crap. This reviewer alone is a piece of shit user, and in this review the only legit musical description he gives is the orchestra line drop, but that's about it and it isn't even a big one. "punk faggot metalhead riffs from Old Man's Cumshot"... ? What the hell does that even mean? Old Man's Child has punk riffs? That's a melodic black metal band, and last I heard this album I didn't hear any punk.

Vortex should do this, Galder should die, Astenu is missing, and Hellhammer does pointless fills... oh look another musical description jammed between sentences of filler.

Yeah, go ahead and delete this horrid review. Doesn't tell me jack about the music sans those and a mention of black metal in the first paragraph. Plus it's a very annoying read - I think he has ADD (if he isn't trolling, which is also a possibility).
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 12:03 pm 
 

droneriot wrote:
It's juvenile, but still probably more mature than a Dimmu Borgir album warrants.


Completely agreed on that one. I think it's even a little longer than a Dimmu album warrants...
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MacMoney
Man of the Cloth

Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2002 10:17 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 2:39 pm 
 

A review of Armored Saint's Revelation by PowerMetalGlory that basically says John Bush should concentrate on Armored Saint and forget about Anthrax and that "[he] won't bore you with an intricate dissection of the songs and countless comparisons. Just listen to it and decide." Most of his other reviews aren't very good either, but this is totally worthless.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 6:14 pm 
 

All of the above were removed. The Dimmu Borgir review was a very open-and-shut case, although not for the largely emotional reasons given by several of its persecutors. It was simply not very descriptive, especially so given that the album in question had many other (probably too many) reviews. Its most relevant content in this regard was the treatment of Hellhammer's performance (this sentence was the highlight), the vague implication that the clean vocals were misplaced (although in what way or degree is not treated with), and an aside about the arrangements and deployment of guitar solos on a different Dimmu Borgir album. There is also passing mention of something like "faggot-ass punk and metalcore" riffs and "orchestration", but this is too vague to really qualify as true description--think of it as being one quarter-step above reviewing a Cannibal Corpse album and asserting the presence of "lots of death metal riffs" and leaving it at that. There are, after all, many different types and applications of punk riffs, and many ways for these to be 'faggot-ass.' But which ones does Dimmu Borgir use here? No attempt of any kind is made at extrapolation on this. Finally, and probably the most interesting thing about the review, is his strange inversion of the highly popular eunuch insult "tr00" to have connotations opposite its typical colloquial application--here referring to gross overproduction (again, this assertion is not actually explained in any way) rather than stark underproduction.

I spent more time writing this explanation than the reviewer spent writing that review (unless he's as slow a typist as his manner vaguely suggests he might be, I suppose); that is the rub.
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The bizarre lattices were all around. Sticks and bits of board nailed together in fantastic array. It should've been ridiculous. Instead it seemed oddly sinister--these inexplicable lattices spread through a wilderness bearing little evidence that man had ever passed through...

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9663
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 9:29 pm 
 

WASP's The Last Command review by anticimex - the one right after mine.

Alright, now this one I'm putting on the table not because I'm a raging WASP fan, but because this review says very little about the music and virtually nothing about WASP's trademark '80s sound. Now the other negative review by TrooperEd you can keep (:grr:) because he actually has worthy content, but anticimex says the same kind of thing he can about every band that could fit the description.

anticimex wrote:
Simplistic structure of the debut is all gone

???????? - This album follows the exact same formula as the debut
anticimex wrote:
Wild Child is a worthy opener, but the middle is just shit. Ballcrusher is somewhat good, great chorus. But some parts don't work. Lets forget Fistful Of Diamonds and Jack Action... Poor!!! Widowmaker is the second post apocalyptic song W.A.S.P made (I guess, I think Show No Mercy was the first and only before this one) and I appreciate it, because the lyrics are rather interesting but the music sucks. Blind In Texas is another awesome single, followed by Cries In The Night that might be the best song on the album, actually. The intro, the verses and choruses are just right. Could have been on the debut for sure! The Last Command is really nothing special at all. Running Wild In The Streets have some good ideas but is still nothing too great, and it was even written by another band. Sex Drive is nothing spectacular at all.

THIS TOLD ME FUCKING NOTHING ABOUT THE MUSIC!
anticimex wrote:
Productionwise it is better than the debut, but it is not as heavy.

Well how was the debut? I know because I've listened to that debut probably +50 times, but how about those that don't remember / never heard the debut? "not as heavy" doesn't cut it for me.
anticimex wrote:
Blackie serves a more consistent delivery here than before, and he sounds great as always.

Anyone who's heard WASP knows how Blackie Lawless sings. By this sentence alone - the only sentence even mentioning Blackie's vocals - you'd never imagine how he'd sound like.

Please see it in your hearts to get rid of this one. It stains that page and doesn't meet the standard.
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Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9663
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 11:01 pm 
 

That last post was a bit of a clutter, so here's another one on a fresh post. This next one is by Vor for Drudkh's Blood In Our Wells (it's the first review).

Now, I've only heard the first four Drudkh albums, and none of them sound starkly alike. The four albums all sound pretty different, even tough they use pretty similar formulas. Thus, as I read Vor's review, I didn't get any sense of what the music sounded like. You have all those +90% reviews on that page and this is probably the worst one because the guy gives the band a handjob talking about how the atmosphere is awesome. Nothing about the muddy guitar tone or the cold drums or rural feeling... nothing. Plus the lack of full spaces between paragraphs makes that one a blob. No point in keeping it, really, when all the other positives do a better job.
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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mentalendoscopy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2010 5:22 pm
Posts: 230
PostPosted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 3:52 pm 
 

Mithr4ndir's review for Dream Theater's "Train of Thought". This could be any Dream Theater album he's reviewing. All he does is bitch about things that the band uses often, and assures you that they suck on this album, without any sort of explanation as to why they sound so terrible, or why they were any different on previous albums. There should be much more explanation in a review ranked 13/100, especially if the band in question is your favourite band, as this guy claims them to be.

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 9663
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 3:55 pm 
 

Might want to give a link to that Dream Theater review, just for convenience and for the mods.
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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