I think the band succeeds in what they try to: they make solid headbangable thrash with lyrics that are funny. But ... that's also where it stops, beyond those two aspects there really isn't much reason to listen to this band. Don't get me wrong, they can thrash alright but it's not something that I could listen to for an entire album without getting bored.

I downloaded this album after reading some of the posts in this thread and I discarded it pretty quickly after only listening to a few songs. First of all, I can't stand lyrics like this. I know some people don't think lyrics matter but they do to me, so that was an automatic strike right there. Second, the music just isn't very good. I didn't think the riffs were anything great and thus strike two. I also don't care for the zombie/pizza/partying shit, so strike three and you're out.

Not the zombie, but pizza, partying, and black metal sucking is a lot mre creative and fresh lyrically in metal than the standard pointless thrash vocals of violence, war etc.

I don't read lyrics, so from a strictly musical standpoint I'd say that this is very good modern thrash with very, very shitty production. I'd like to see what this band can do with a more capable producer, because the music is awesome.

I don't know what songs you listened to, but there's definitely no mention of pizza/partying on this album. The lyrics deal with violence for the most part.

What's everybody's beef with zombies anyway? It's not an overused subject matter, such as war.

Not as used as war, but still fairly common. The primary reason for the beef is that it's done in a "LOL ZOMBIES" manner, vaguely reminiscent of the "LOL PIRATES" and "LOL NINJAS" style of extremely unfunny humour plaguing the internet.

Your primary reason for a beef is... uh... nonexistent. The only song with zombies in it isn't trying to be humorous at all, it's a serious song. The cover, with zombies on it, isn't trying to by humorous either.
Sweet fuck, we're taking a lot of shit for being silly now and then. I think about half the songs have no hint of the goofy stuff in them, but apparently we're just wacky funny people with clown noses. One guy called us "weird al." C'mon. Really?

I did: www.tommartinart.com

Yeah, sorry your download of our album was less than satisfactory for you. You have our deepest sympathies.

As to your strikes:
Lyrics - Music fans that are into lyrics are like literature fans that are into fonts.
Music isn't good - What can I say, you're entitled to your wrong opinion.
Zombie/Pizza/Partying - As mentioned, there's no pizza or partying anywhere in the album. There's also no mention of beer, skateboards, sharks, any of that. I think we brought this on ourselves by combining two dumb thrash standards: "toxic" and zombies.

While you may not have made much in the way of zany zombie songs, it is something associated with retro-thrash. Thus, people will pretty much assume your zombie songs are meant to be tongue-in-cheek. The way you've presented the band thus far has given it a joke band image, regardless of your intent.

It certainly doesn't help that you've written a song called "Black Metal Sucks". As a rule, songs titled "-subject- Sucks" are retarded. And I don't just say that because I happen to enjoy black metal; I think a song called "Metalcore Sucks" would be moronic, too.



Now that's just silly. A more accurate comparison would be literature fans who are into good grammar and well-written prose. The overall narrative and the quality of the story would be akin to the music.

I like zombies, regardless of what my peers have done. I'd also argue that we don't have a joke band image regardless of my intent, regardless of what you say, but what'd be the point. I can't stop fools from thinking a zombie song is automatically tongue-in-cheek, I can't stop fools from dismissing us as some thrash novelty act.

I don't know of any other "subject SUCKS" songs. Not saying there aren't any, but I've never heard of 'em. Dismissing a -sucks song because of its "is retarded" self-imposed rule is kinda like dismissing a song for its lyrics. It's surface noise, get into the music.

Not that I'll really fight that Black Metal Sucks sucks, it was filler that caught on. I don't know.

Nnnno, it's really more like bitching about the quality of paper. Obviously we're dueling with preferences here, but hell, you come for the music. The music is the thing, and a good song can be sung to the contents of the phone book for all I care. Otherwise, you might as well just read poetry.

No, I'm sticking to my comparison here. The music takes priority for sure, but terrible lyrics are still terrible. Perhaps a better analogy would be garnishes. A good dash of salt or pepper and such can make a good meal even better, so I put cheese on my pasta rather than flour.

Allow me to elaborate.

Lyrics are part of the vocal performance, and what are vocals if not part of the music? Saying that lyrics matter no more than the font or paper used in a book is basically saying they don't matter at all. Now that is rather stupid, really. Would an Iron Maiden epic have as much power if Bruce was just reciting the alphabet for the chorus?

You might as well have the vocalist perform "la la las" or chuck out the vocals entirely and just play instrumentals.

As for the band's image... Well, it's hard to defend the seriousness of your work when your lineup reads:

A Fucking Tyrannosaur - Vocals
Rambo - Lead Guitar
The Hulk - Rhythm Guitar
Darth Vader - Bass
Hulk Hogan - Drums

It is possible to create art that isn't serious, but take it seriously.

I find the fact that Lich King are criticized for being "silly" strange. People are saying they dislike the over the top, slightly immature lyrics of some songs. Yet we allow Gwar to parade around in alien costumes and literally sing:

"I'm clogging up the kiln, my wretched baby paste requires Drain-O".
"I want to murder everyone in the entire world, every man and woman, every boy and every girl!"

Come on now, I think if we're perfectly fine with that and blue cum flying at us during concerts we can enjoy songs about zombies.

Maiden's different, you can hear the words and follow them as sung. For (most) thrash, death and black metal, what's the point of the lyrics if you have to read them in the booklet to understand them? Again: just read poetry.

Why? That doesn't have any- ANY- bearing on the music. If you can't take the music seriously because we got wacky with the names of the people who made it, I don't know what to tell you.

Perhaps your internet conduct and representation leads people to believe this. In fact I'm sure it does.

If you want people to take you or your band seriously... well I don't think I have much else to say that you can't already figure out.

Ignore them Lich_King, those ignorant of your superiority will vanquish amongst your thrashin' brutality

Even if the band isn't that serious (not saying they are but for the sake of argument), so what, neither were Anthrax, Nuclear Assault had a bunch of joke song, and I don't see many people criticizing them for it. I think the problem is that is this generation's fascination with irony. So when people see band playing an 80s style with silly lyrics, they automatically assume it's done in an ironic fashion.

Manowar are much sillier than the King, and loved for it. I.C.E. are also serious with some humor at the same time. Keep the band the same and ignore the people who take themselves, and their music too seriously.

I think the problem is you're defending your band to every person who criticizes you. Just realize that not everyone has the same taste and you don't need to please every internet nobody who bashes your work.

Manowar are silly?? I always thought they were dead serious. If it's all tongue-in-cheek, good for them.
Ehh, responding to the haters is a lot more fun. All you can say to the fans is "oh, thanks man, glad you liked it." With the haters, you can get creative and I enjoy it.

How would you feel about drawing a large trencher (along the lines of this: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/c ... -25.km.jpg ) going into someone's butt?

and possibly a giant menacing ass in the sky above the Manhattan skyline?

I am now genuinenly interested in your airborne trencher buggery. Honestly, what the hell are you going to title that?

I can do that. I'm familiar with fine art.

The main reason they use stupid shit like, "your stage names are dumb, your song lyrics are dumb" is because they have nothing else to hate it for. I wasn't paying attention to half the lyrics, but the ones I understood, I enjoyed. I think people need to realize that because you may write goofy lyrics doesn't mean you don't take yourselves seriously. What needs to be understodd is bands can make jokey and goofy lyrics, but take their passion, creativity and talent very seriously.

But, whatever. Let the haters hate. I think Black Metal Sucks, is awesome. It's purposely poorly written and awkwardly-placed humor that will only resonate with some people.

A lot of people have had this really grim and serious attitude and declaring that metal "needs to be taken more seriously, and stop writing stupid lyrics". So, whatever. Like I said, let the haters hate. You're shit is fucking killer Lich King and that's all that matters.

Well we've got a song titled "Butt Trencher" and another called "The Anus That Swallowed Manhattan" which were what I was thinking the artwork would be for. We're called "Pulsating Anus" and we've got a split coming up with a band called "Endless Vomit" so we're probably going to use the song "Barf In Your Ass" which we may need artwork for. I'm hoping to find an actual photograph of that or something though. Chances are that whenever we release a full-length it'll be called "The Anal Harvest," and I think just about any artwork would work for that.

Is this artwork gonna cost?

Also, Lich King, if you guys ever come to Athens, Ohio (which I recommend you, and just about any other thrash band do - it's like a little thrash haven) definitely let me know.

LOL. Graphic Designers don't work for free, bro.

Well yes, but I figured I'd ask that on the off chance that it wouldn't and then ask how much.

OH IT'LL COST YA. Hit me at lichkingmetal at gmail.

Serious question... you guys in gore / gross-obsessed bands, I don't even know if there's a genre name for music like INSEMINATING THE CHEST CAVITY OF AN ABORTED FETUS and all that. My question is- what do you tell your parents you do?

Metal-Archives is still full of SERIOUS black metal kiddies it seems. I'm sure most people are only flaming the band here because of the song "black metal sucks"

who cares if the song is serious or a complete joke? The band still kicks ass. Infact, i've been a huge black metal fan for a few years now, and I fucking love the track "black metal sucks." You guys just need to stop dissecting everything that seems like a complete joke. Either way, I couldn't be bothered to care.

It's only these days this really matters, older bands could take the piss out of anything, but these days if a band wants to write a goofy song, or something that isn't serious business then the metal community attacks them for it. Wasn't metal originally a genre which people did what they believed in and thought for themselves? Why attack bands that are doing just that for not appearing as a "serious" band? There's tons of bands that don't take themselves seriously. I don't just mean the crossover genre, anthrax, or manowar either. VENOM doesn't take themselves seriously in any context of the word either, yet Venom would never get the same shit for it.

On the note of the lineup, there's black metal bands out there whose stage names are just as if not more ludicrous than lich king's. I mean when you have stage names like "Belzephomet - unholy blasphemer masturbating on the white throne of god and raper of the divine angels" or "Unholy Bestial Goat Sodomizer - Herald of the satanic war god, perverse executioner of the bethlehem whore" then it also almost seems like a joke, but there are some very serious bands who would go by such a name.

Lich King, you're coming off as a butt hurt teenager. Practice some humility.

White_Wich, you're coming off as a butt hurt teenager. Practice some humility.

Thanks MentalSelfMutilation.

And White_Witch, humility is for bands that don't rule.

I checked this out, and my only complaint is staying ability. I really enjoyed this the first few times, but then the jokes got old, and even the purposely awkward songs end up sounding, well, awkward.

Can't we all just be... Friends?

Will do

I told them I was in a band called "Pulsating Anus" and my mother told me she thought it sounded like a "gay band" as if "gay" was a genre of music. I thought that was pretty funny.
That said, most of our stuff is just really stupid and gross rather than gore related. I would probably feel a lot more uncomfortable talking to my parents about it if it was about violent gore related things.

I guess we can.

I'm just sort of tired of the retro-thrash revival. The style is there, but the spirit of the 80's is gone and it feels like reheated leftovers.

Perhaps your stupidity has blinded you. I don't know where you get this from, but that's far from the truth. All you have to do is browse the forums to see all the threads about Thrash, Death, etc. to see this.

Stop making silly assumptions. It's obvious some people don't enjoy Lich King's style...that's perfectly acceptable. Every band will have detractors and it's something Lich King will have to deal with. Apparently they recognize this.

ogmetal, I fucking love your sig... did that really happen?

Indeed. It was epic.

I've been directed to add my responses to this thread, and not to respond to the haters in the threads in which they're active. So. This is a word to those among you dismissing us as "retro thrash" like we're just following the trend or some shit. We make thrash. We're making it the way the old guys did, but not because it's fashionable to do so right now. We love that old stuff and honor it, so fuck you for waving us off like we're some bandwagon-riders ripping off riffs.

One ass said: "To me, Lich King and similar acts are enemies of metal." That is awesome, and I'm using that as my sig.

To everyone else that's been digging the CD and hasn't been a metal snob douche, thanks and keep tearing shit up.

I've also redirected the "haters" to discuss everything in this thread as well, by the way. Not saying you didn't notice that or anything, but it wasn't aimed at you alone.

Yeah, I think it's a great record. I really do. The energy you guys exude is incredible and you guys have some insanely tight musicianship. You guys are a lot like Vio-Lence. Not as in, Vio-Lence worship, but Vio-Lence was very energetic and dynamic, which your music shows that same sort of tenancies.

However, I do think it is funny (in a stupid way) that you've been bunched up with the likes of Fueled By Fire, Municipal Waste, Gama Bomb and others who really only write lyrics about crushing posers, thrashing about and drinking beer (enough with the beer thrash metal? Leave it to Tankard, please.) when you guys have an album name such as Toxic Zombie Onslaught.

I can understand a lot of feelings within the thrash metal community right now about these newer bands who lyric content doesn't go any farther than drinking and killing posers. If it was just one or two bands, then it wouldn't be a big deal. But I mean, there's just a total fucking legion of thrash acts that talk about just that. It gets annoying. Unfortunately, I think that's what leaves most of the thrash enthusiasts super sensitive about the thrash metal acts they listen to, and any act who has a couple of sarcastic-sounding song titles and an album title is automatically lumped into this "it's crappy retro party beer thrash".

I think you guys are one of the fresher thrash bands right now, a long with FastKill. I like the fact that it seems you guys take your creativity seriously and you try to push it as far as possible, both lyrically and musically, even if you do end up writing something goofy.

The only thing I can say is be wary whatever you name your next album and song titles. Stay away from alcohol, anything food related, posers and alcohol. Hopefully you guy will be alright.