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deplo
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2010 5:36 pm
Posts: 103
Location: Lebanon
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 12:39 pm 
 

Apart from the theme and the lyrics which may greatly overshadow the music, I am here, after many almost-mediocre attempts, trying to do a decent piece. Let me hear your thoughts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mh8GolY9b0

Thanks :)

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norcalslayings
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2012 1:11 pm
Posts: 219
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 3:06 pm 
 

why anti zionist?
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Chants Loud-Robed priest down on to the freedom seed
Burnt offering redeems – completes smoked deliverance
Caravans’ stoned deliverance"-Sleep's Dopesmoker


LO FI GRIND- http://alaskanpipelinesgrinds.bandcamp.com/

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infinitenexus
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 2:35 am
Posts: 1939
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 3:31 pm 
 

My guess would be because he's from Lebanon. Arabs and Jews aren't known for being the best of friends.
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deplo
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2010 5:36 pm
Posts: 103
Location: Lebanon
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 3:56 pm 
 

The reason is pretty clear: "Israel" is an illegal criminal state. We, the Lebanese people and the Palestinians, have suffered from their insanity, wars and massacres.

infinitenexus, there's one thing that should be clarified: "Arabs and ZIONISTS" please, not Jews. We absolutely have no problems with Jewish people and Judaism as a religion, our main issue is with Zionism and all the extremist movements in the world.

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dystopia4
Veteran

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 3548
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 4:30 pm 
 

Hey man, this is by far your best song yet. Good work for sure. Sorry for taking so long to review your new release, I've taken a bit of a hiatus from reviewing because of university.
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deplo
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2010 5:36 pm
Posts: 103
Location: Lebanon
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 10:14 pm 
 

dystopia4, thank you mate! Oh, no worries at all, I do understand the concerns of your university!

By the way, my project was removed from MA due to not being enough metal! So no need to review it anymore and if you've already done that, please PM it :)

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norcalslayings
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2012 1:11 pm
Posts: 219
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 2:15 pm 
 

I like it,dont get me wrong,just wondering where your beliefs came from,anyways,good stuff!
_________________
"Grow-Room is church temple of the new stoner breed
Chants Loud-Robed priest down on to the freedom seed
Burnt offering redeems – completes smoked deliverance
Caravans’ stoned deliverance"-Sleep's Dopesmoker


LO FI GRIND- http://alaskanpipelinesgrinds.bandcamp.com/

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deplo
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2010 5:36 pm
Posts: 103
Location: Lebanon
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 5:06 pm 
 

norcalslayings, no worries! I do understand that and thanks :)

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Zodijackyl
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 4974
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2013 11:53 am 
 

No more politics in the musicians forum please, you're welcome to discuss it in The Tavern but it's just a distraction from constructive discussion of music here.

About the song:

I like what you're doing with the exotic-sounding scale for the first riff, it could work out well but it drags on forr a really long time and it constantly goes off time. The timing really kills it.

The ride cymbal that you use starting around one minute in is too loud. I'm not listening on the best speakers at the moment but I think this might be from using an ill-fitting MIDI sample set for the drums.

Everything is off-time in the section starting around 3:30. The crashes sound really out of place but I think the guitars are playing somewhere between the beats.

The section at the end could sound really cool but you need to work out the timing with your delayed guitar, and you should also slow down the drums a lot, play a regular backbeat much slower and make sure the timing is good with the delay - set it to half the length of each note for a cool effect. Right now it sounds like the song is falling apart because of the timing.

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deplo
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2010 5:36 pm
Posts: 103
Location: Lebanon
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2013 1:09 pm 
 

Zodijackyl, yes I actually made sure to point out in my original post that the lyrics (politics) may greatly overshadow the music, so I am here asking for musical opinions only.

I see what you're trying to say here and I'll definitely consider that in any future project, thanks :)

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nicor333
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:19 am
Posts: 20
PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 6:48 pm 
 

Drums sounds like an awfully programmed midi loop.
Guitar riffs are boring repetitive and fuitle.
The vocals...well I rather not talk about that.
This song is awful.

Israel belong to the jews, arabs can go to Egypt, Lebanon, Syria, Iraq, Jordan or any other shitty arab country in this world.
If the Arabs agreed to the "United Nations Partition Plan" in 1947 instead of declaring war against the jews, you could have your own country. Now you should suffer as you deserve and make us suffer as well with your lame burzum cloned tracks.

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Morrigan
Crone of War

Joined: Sat Aug 10, 2002 7:27 am
Posts: 9720
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 1:38 am 
 

What part of "no politics" from Zodi's warning did you miss? :rolleyes: That said, OP was obviously inflammatory, so yeah consider yourselves both warned.
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you can debate the actual date that metal began, but a fairly agreed upon date is 1969. Metal is almost 25 years old
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yentass
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 23, 2003 9:28 am
Posts: 911
Location: Israel
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 9:29 am 
 

Not a fan of what I'm hearing. The drums, guitars and vocals have lives of their own with absolutely no rhythmical connection between them, and also I'd like to believe music making takes more than randomly picking notes until something sticks. "Keep trying" would be my final verdict, I guess.
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Apteronotus
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:07 am
Posts: 856
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 12:43 pm 
 

I hear some kind of booming and can't tell if it is intentional percussion or a vocal artifact from not using a pop screen. Either way it is far too loud, check at around 1:17 for what I am talking about. Some of the slow single note riffing with spoken vocals reminds me of the band Bethlehem, but yeah the timing is a major problem.

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Christopher_Night
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 5:27 am
Posts: 60
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 12:39 am 
 

There's clearly still work to be done but it's your best song so far. Keep at it!
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MLG_Death
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:57 pm
Posts: 33
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 6:40 pm 
 

The guitars sound like the pitch was changed in audacity. I say that because at some points in the song it sounds like the guitar is breaking up a little bit or becoming distorted in a bad way.

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